aag hai hum mein kahin,
deepak se hi roshni hai meri zindagi mein,....
Deepak is a joy to play with to be with. Sometimes after making love, i think about the fact that this dark funny, aloof guy from school is the one who got me, who understood me and with whom i feel like i have always belonged in his arms. This person whom i hardly talked in the six years of school. :)
Our life together, more on that?
The burning wires sparks led us to fight . We fought a lot. In the park i screamed. Just to keep him with me. I couldnt see him go away. I am very attached to him. Crazy mad attached.
Deepak. He gets hurt. He doesnt know how to make other person relaxed because he gets disturbed easily.When i loose it, he cannot control yet. But he is the best. He takes care of me. He sneezes in the morning thats his wake up Incoming alert.
Yesterday we made love in a new position. hehe. he liked it and i loved it. He says we are improving. So today i feel all sexy even more and am wearing this white, his favourite colour, lets see.
deepak,
why do you not communicate and discuss.
Our house is a project. We have to raise it. I love it when you give your suggestions, your thoughtfulness like the induction cooker.
a family is like a tree that needs to be nurtured . And the best part is everyone has to give the care and love, before one can get the fruits.
raat ko jab maine tumse kaha ki toilet ki light khol do, bijli ke bill ki baat nahin to phir kya tha. maine kabhi nahin dekha , ki toilet and bedroom blah. Ek saala toilet decide karega ki humari life me kya hota hai. I dont believe in these superstitions. One god. No dog, no light, no candle, no diya, no toilet, no agarbatti, no idol, only the connection and belief will decide what happens to us.
if we dont think about it, it will never happen.
We have to be happy.
It is not general about a wife or a husband. It is about us Samreen and Deepak.
1. we follow a common idea of right and wrong.how kids will be raised. planning and execution.
bath
studies.
narender modi.i need to make him aware.
differences of opinion.
want to spend time together. we need to listen carefully to what the other person feels. ignoring it or distancing from it .
I am a muslim, will always remain one. I need someone who will protect my beliefs, value them. I need to grow and spread Islam.
whats the use crying. he doesnt even want to know me. What i feel, he does is he loves the feeling of togetherness. he He doesnt need me really emotionally. A wife. What could it mean to him. He wants to eat my food. He doesnt need opinions of mine. One day he did say he liked what i explained to him. jokes, we do have the bipasha john joke, the criime rate of switzerland. I feel a distance. a responsibility and distinct from a love.
how can we love each other if we have a distinct definition of goodness. is love not compassion. in keeping with work, do we forget love. am i expecting too much. If i come home, can it be that i am just complaining. i appreciate if you try to know what i ate, what i did. you dont because you might need to change things.
he doesnt love. he needs power.
love is not a victory. it is a struggle.
i observe you. i care to remember what you are.
what is my favourite food? what cheers me up? what is my fav song?
you wont know because you dont care to know , to remember.
you think every moment is about power. Deewar is your favourite movie. do u remember which one is mine?
when i felt cold. you think i am lying or being kaamchor. you can never even believe me and try to comfort me.i dont understand this love.
when we are in bed, you want a passionate love. leave me , or what i feel, you sleep outside when we cant do it. you never imagine what it might do to my self respect.
i hope you find that person you really want to love to understand. someone who you want to put your arms around when she is feeling low. someone you care to remember little things of. someone whose jokes you not just tolerate but even love. someone who you want to put your arms around when you hear her crying in the other room and not just be angry or think she is a crybaby, useless or trying to blame you. someone you want to resolve things with and not feel like running away. or someone you feel like wiping tears from her eyes, not just feel she is irresponsible and let her cry she will become fine. or come and be irritated what is wrong will you stop crying and make her say sorry for her tears.
dear diary,
he doesnt understsand what i am doing. he doesnt feel happy. i am trying to make a healthy family. trying to take out time for myself.so i can be fit enough to take care. and i dont take care enough now? it is something very sensitive. Ab yaad aa gaya ki khana bhi khana hai? i will be honest about what i was thinking. When i woke up i was thinking that we need these things in the list. Do i have to get used to the cold water in the morning. Does he have to learn to remember to warm water in the morning. What is his idea of a happy family.
when you dont remember. you dont care to remember. when u write you care to remember.its like when the tenant doesnt care to close the door. he doesnt care to remember. when anyone doesnt remember, he doesnt care.
you are used to care about yourself and let the other person care about himself. that is how you have learnt to survive. but i am not any outside world. i am your wife. you ask me why you have to care about what i eat, how i feel. The reason of the why , i guess, is because if you wont then who will?
i am just hoping you would come back and care to ask me if i applied volini. or will you just think that i am trying to take advantage. or think that i am being lazy or careless. perhaps if you can, think that i would be really touched to once get the feeling that someone cares.
My family asks me, Does he keep you happy?
He doesnt even know what is my favourite song. Or what is my favourite colour. Or what is my favourite poem. Or what makes me angry.
When he is with me, Never has it happenned that he said look your fav song. He wouldnt know. People try to know people so that they can do their bit to cheer them, to know what will make them feel bad or good. but D,he is different. he loves me. he does as i say. But when it comes to emotions. he is a void. We found out we both like ink pens when he saw the cartridge in my box. He likes to do a sword movement. Does he notice what i do?
it is 7 in the morning. I just had maggi. because i was hungry. and then i heard deepak turn in the bed outside and the thought i had was - he is going to come in and be mad...subah subah maggi tabhi to yeh halat...something blunt. something pinching. he would take this opportunity to show me down he could also say- itni bhook thi to khana kyun nahin khaya..He would not understand. I like to see the intention. And i need to ask him. I take for granted that he is showing concern. it could also be pretention. He is rude and blunt that everyone knows. he would not see that I am awake so early or i did not sleep.
yesterday night he said to me something so unbelievable. We were in the quilt and wanted to have sex. My pajama was tight so i took some time. But he was so impatient and unloving. he could have shown care. All i heard was I am waiting baby. When i needed " take your time baby" and when now he is sleeping outside i know he is gonna say take your time when i want to hear " i am waiting". He not only was insensitive and impatient, i was feeling cold getting out of then bed, but how can someone be so focussed on the task or whatever, he forgets that it is about relationship, about love, about putting your love and understanding in place. i felt like he just cared about sex and not about me. Even if i fainted he would just say Itni sardi to hai nahin ....He actually got angry at me for feeling cold, can you imagine, a reason that i cannot help. To say that is really rude.He becomes impatient. I feel he cannot understand my nervousness and makes me more nervous. He is full of problems. you are using nails, not like this baba, and all i can think is am i doing it right. where is the love?
i dont know why our relationship is hurting. He wants to hurt me? I havent slept a wink and he doesnt even know and probably will never even care to remember even if he knew. he doesnt remember the metro station. that i feel deeply about actions.
What now? he distanced from me last night. He was rude. Moreover, he was disrespectful and derogatory. He didnt treat me well. I cant believe whatever happpenned to sharafat and goodness? he said you feel so cold. It isnt that at all like i am lying. You are in antarctica.
It was wrong. It was not a loving thing to do. comment showing your superiority.
everything is just my problem. everything. As long as i fuck myself working my ass off for you you are happy. If i try to be myself, take some time off, tell you to even get me a cushion it is a problem. the time you see me rubbing my eyes, you say " dont do it" god, why cant you just comfort me the way i do to you. I am without a sweater you say. Kuch pehanogi? You never give me a jacket to wear. god knows i treat you the way i want to be treated. And you treat me the way you would never want to be treated? i dont understand.
patana hai ya poochna hai?
meri mummy aur aap yaani deepak ki mummy.
dono ki khushi zaroori hai. duniya jaye bhar me.
kissa ye hai ki...
ek cheez hai nikah.
ek cheez hai arya samaj shadi.
dono cheezon se rishta pakka ho jata hai. paak saaf ho jaata hai.
baat ye hai ki aapke dil me nikah ko leke kya khayaal hai. meri ammi ke dil me arya samaj shaadi ke liye ek rukawat hai. aap ke dil me shayad nikah ko leke , ek resistance, ek ghabrahat, ek baat ho ki ye hindu dharam ke liye namumkin hai...
aapko shayad lage ki iki zarurat nahin hai, bura lage
kanooni taur pe to shaadi ho rahi hai.
Dear Alllah,
i am thankful for your blessingtoday. When i asked him if i could say khuda hafiz to him, it was so relieving to hear that he was fine with it.allah bas yunhi apna karam farmate rehna. mujhe itna itminan mila.agar insaan ek doosre ke dil rakhne ka khayaal karey to koi pareshani hi na ho..
perhaps i should tell you, of the time we make love, of the way it is with us.
at the time of the first kiss when i see him, we do kiss, but later the surprise one is the best. it is great the sosunds i make of ecstasy and pleasure how his passion gets deep inside me and in the twists and turns through the depths of my soul. the first time, that he learnt to arouse me, it was a surprise to me to realise what pleasure there lies just in this love making. I realised it was beyond my imagination. I had never imagined i could be so excited and vulnerable at the same time.
i said, dono din lagenge. and he said ache bahane hain solid. you think it will be an excuse to spend time with you. i was just concerned about the task. i need to be more clear in my talk with him. he deserves this.I love him. I need to be with myself. He is sensitive. Like the day when he said to me, i have taken a day off for you. On my birthday and he didnt come. He was feverish. But i was dreaming. False ideas can hurt people. I never make an excuse with you. i always tell you. you are wise i will listen to you.
Why do i think he goes to office on weekends and spends time alone on weekdays. He doesntt want to be with me.is not possible because he makes time for me.
today i found the most amazing love. He hugged me and held me so close and wiped the tears from my eyes, kissed my cheeks. He said that he believed in me. That he knew i was a strong person. and i almost promised i would prove it for him.He made me laugh.
wanna go away
is not
want to not see chaos
people just gunning plunging deeper
not having control.
things will get better.
cribbing about all we dont have,
no thankfulness
no team effort to improve.
please Allah. let Sadia have a husband who will take care of her. Let her see the light of Allah in her life. Let her ask for forgiveness. And reward her with a good husband. I pray for her.
I will request you to put a time frame for offer valid till. Its fair that you let me take the opportunity to find the best employer. Normally the procedure that i follow is that with the offer, there is a date that is suitable for you till which you can possibly and comfortably defer to. Is it possible to get a deferment to the offer. I understand the offer is
I understand that i told you I would join immidiately if the offer is good. If the offer is moderate, i would like to take some time. In that case , i will need a validity time which is essentially the time that u can hold this offer without giving it to the next best canditate. This is if the recruitment is not on a very urgent on spot offer.
we would appreciate if u give an answer now. That would get me in a difficult position really. I understand your concern, you are looking for asap , suggest u let me think a bit . believe me, more thought about the better because we wre looking for for long time commitment atleast three years and maybe even more.
a weeks time.
is there a problem with you or with the company?
my judgement of potential, impatience with growth, indiscipline with results.
there after few years, least an expertise in hand must be prevalent. I have questions, i have mentor belief.take that seriously.Design Intent
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