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(can i have a kiss?) "I was happier then with no mind-set" [03 Apr 2006|03:32pm] [ mood | curious ] and now, i'm 20. what is it that draws one to another? and more importantly, what is it that draws them apart?

(can i have a kiss?) "So tonight I'll sleep with nothing on, to make sure that you hurry home.." [27 Aug 2005|12:41pm] come and find me. please.

(can i have a kiss?) [14 May 2005|09:12pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Child ] so school is ending in four months for ever. several memos have been circulated across the grade pertaining our plans, and how to make them. i'm scared to be the only one who has no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life.

(can i have a kiss?) "You know what happens with the lights back on, the less you know the more you want.." [29 Mar 2005|02:47pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Jimmy Eat World - Just Tonight ] so looking out of nineteen year old eyes is really no different to peering from the eighteen year old ones that used to be. sure, there is a glimmer in them that once was not, they are much more eager to wake in the morning, and sometimes they see what should be hidden, but essentially nineteen is not too far removed from eighteen. xx

(1 lipstick trace can i have a kiss?) "It's a shame, you don't even know what you're worth.." [09 Mar 2005|08:05pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | mellow tunes ] i don't think i've ever been quite so happy. and that's not to say i wasn't happy before. just now, it's much better :) i feel like i'm starting to be the person i used to be what seems like forever ago. things that had hidden deep in the crevices of my memory have emerged, and i'm recognising all the funny feelings i used to get when i heard a certain song that meant something.. or remembering something sugary that someone important to me had said. i'm excited when i wake up, because i'm one step closer to eternity. xx

(1 lipstick trace can i have a kiss?) "This is my calling.." [14 Dec 2004|10:10pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | The Red Hot Chili Peppers - This Is the Place ] i've decided, that at the end of next year, when all my commitments are through (the lease for my house, educational commitments.. etc), i'm going travelling. on my own. for the first time ever. nothing typical either. i'm going to make a list of places to go, go to one first.. and then see where i end up. i want to travel from a traveller's perspective, not a tourist's.. (meaning i'll take up jobs where needed) and time won't be an object. i think it's better that way. i'll know for myself when it's time to move along, and that way i won't feel as if i'm under a time limit to do everything i have to. just experience things that are new to me. christmas in another country, becoming familiar with a suburb of another country, memorising a block to walk on every evening. just the little things. making my own way has never been something i've had to do, by choice or necessity. i think it will be interesting. a camera, lots of film, a notepad, and my mp3s are essential. anything else will be taken on the condition that there's room in my bag. ;) i now have something to work towards. it's just that i don't want life to become routinal for me before i'm 25. personally, i think it would be liberating to go to different places and experience that. and it doesn't even have to be somewhere completely foreign (although, that is on the to do list), moreso somewhere unfamiliar to me. i've spent half an hour trying to write this post, waffling about travel, trying to explain it. and i think i've possibly devised the most accurate way to say it, even though it doesn't even come close, really. travel is alluring. travel is full of promise, new opportunities and experience, the guarder of secrets waiting to be discovered, places to be explored, and feelings to be felt. i want to do it all. less than 365 days :) ♥

(can i have a kiss?) "When, the time we have now, ends.." [13 Dec 2004|10:16pm] [ mood | impressed ] [ music | Jimmy Eat World - For Me This Is Heaven ] i love being in a car at night in the rain. it's so calming, driving through town, watching all the houses pass by at a speed where they almost mesh together, and you're so captivated by everything you see, you can't even remember what the last thing you saw was. the red of other peoples brake lights, and the white of oncoming headlights slowly run across the windshield in drips of rain, it looks almost fluorescent. the windscreen wipers are in slow mo, swish... swish... rain covers the screen, and for a second it seems as if its dangerously vision impairing, and in that very second, the wiper comes back and wipes the screen clear once more. the car seat feels unusually comfortable (as do most things at 2am), and you sink into the seat, half willing to stay there forever. you're ready to go anywhere; the world is yours for the taking. no one speaks a word; all you can hear are the drops of rain hitting the roof of the car, and the whispering crooning of the radio, a song you've never even heard before, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think you were the last person left on the face of the earth. look at the sky, and the landscape seems darker, the skyline is a deep shade of gray.. the velvet night is fading.. ♥

(can i have a kiss?) "Catching the fruits of our labours.." [03 Dec 2004|11:07am] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Further Seems Forever - How To Start A Fire ] the embrace of inspiration is one i wish to feel forever. constant and companionable, ready to aid the expression of all the emotion boiling inside, craving explosion. to duplicate emotion and feeling with words would be a treat incomparable to any delicacy. sweet; too sweet perhaps. also, must be taken in moderation, otherwise the consequences could be detrimental to one's own disposition. how curious it is to discover that the two best feelings derive from the same one object. paper. paper. paper. the best, being the fulfilment and pride arising when one reflects upon an entire page of one's own creation, wherein between the faint blue lines are the pen scrawls straight from the river of one's own emotion and feeling. the worser, more possible to my dismay, being the incredulous mocking of the blanks between the bare lines, driven many a man to insanity, those who crave that very pride and satisfaction, are often destroyed by it; or moreso, its absence. xx

(2 lipstick traces can i have a kiss?) "Here's my heart..." [25 May 2004|12:23pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Yellowcard -- October Nights ] Heh a long needed day off. I have a lot of exams coming up later this week, and the next.. so I took today off just to slow down a bit, prepare myself sorta thing. The weekend was alright, I worked on Friday and Saturday night.. it was really busy, and then Sunday I just bummed here at home, Dom came over as well and we got pizza and bludged =) Funny how I never really knew him before. I mean, we go to the same school, we have for the past 6 years, and I just didn't know him. Mostly because I had Joseph. Mm. Me and Joseph; it's how it always used to be. I remember at like lunchtimes or whatever, we'd be sitting on the side, just together. He was muh bestest friend ever. But, now I sorta had to learn to meet new people and stuff. When I first went back to school after the accident, I used to sit in our old seat, on my own. Then Dom and Andrew started sitting with me too. At first I didn't even speak to them, just ate my lunch and went over my notes. Nowadays, we're really close friends, us three. It's lovely, and I'm grateful =) In other news, I almost got run over by a senile old man yesterday after school... Bah. I know I've got a car and everything, but I like walking to and from school... even if it does take an hour (i have no life -_-). -xoxoimrealcoldxoxo-

(can i have a kiss?) "I cry, oh..." [22 May 2004|10:26am] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Coldplay -- Sparks ] I don't like change :'( -xoxoithinkitsmyfaultxoxo-

(can i have a kiss?) "She's turned around a thousand times, she's set that bridge afire.." [19 May 2004|12:15pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | Finch -- New Beginnings ] Hmm. How curious... -xoxopinaxoxo-

(can i have a kiss?) "Three chalk outlines sleep in the dirty street..." [21 Apr 2004|08:16pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | Thursday -- Asleep In The Chapel ] Ooh. Not a healthy time to be waking up, I concur. Today was a very, very good day. I woke up early and ordered flowers for my mum for Mother's Day... (when is that?) then I went and bought some art supplies (canvas, paint, replaced some of my old paintbrushes, and I also bought a new sketch book because I finished the other one), then came home and wrote my little heart out. The idea is coming along well. I have about a chapter and a half, now. I found this yesterday, someone very special wrote it to me a very long time ago =) ; "In a perfect world and a perfect dictionary, both our pictures would be there together, holding hands in the park." It is said; chapters in one's life come to a close to clear the way for a new one to begin. Hmm, I wonder. I'm in the mood to debate and formulate theories. Does that make sense? I know it will. I want serious conversation about nothing relevant to myself! Hah, I am getting old. *cries* Im only eighteen though! -xoxoineedtoresetmybodyclockxoxo-

(can i have a kiss?) "Spin 'round carousel..." [09 Apr 2004|01:51am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Coheed & Cambria -- Delirium Trigger ] Hey, long time no anything. Lots of shit happened here, we're all picking up the pieces of our once decent lives. Nonno died early January this year.. (ti amo) I went over there for the funeral. It was terrible. He was like, everything. When I was a kid, my nonno was the stongest person I knew, and my earliest memories are of him. I ended up staying in Italy for about a month and a half, I stayed with my brother Franco. It was awesome to see him again, I love him so much, we grew so close on my trip there, he is the best, (mwwuaha) we now talk all the time. He is coming down here again in a few weeks (belated easter, you see).. Oh and his lovely girlfriend Tara left him. Mm. I've been doing so much art lately, all my shit is on the walls, I love it. Mum and Julian have moved out, ^_^ they're renting a house closer to Jules' school.. Guess what? I miss 'em, lol. Mm, oh oh! The other night I freaked out SO BAD, omg. I heard noises and stuff. Just paranoid I guess. But I actually called up Franco.. "I can hear noises." "Pina?" "Mmm?" "I live in fucking Italy, I can't do much from here. =\" Oops, lol. -xoxoJosephinexoxo-

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