|O Happy Days
||[28 Dec 2007|09:35pm]
A zillion things occured since the last update, and after jetsetjunkie's prompting, I guess it's time to take stock.
Firstly, let me start with the bible passage that struck me yesterday.
"As I fell down at his feet to worship him, he said to me, "Beware, I am like a servant like you and your brothers who utter the testimonies of Jesus (these testimonies of Jesus are proclaimed through the spirit of the prophets). Worship God alone."
...When will I worship Him alone, and be free from the opinions, behaviour and acceptance of others?
It has been a very tough struggle towards this.
Yesterday was a rare day I felt like just packing my bag and going home to sleep. Took a long 2-hr bus ride from office to home. And suddenly, after an earnest prayer, it just struck me how silly and futile and childish it is. Yes, to bemoan in a little corner hidden from the world is just that. To anticipate secretly for others to come to your rescue is that. But we need to be inspired by the Holy Spirit to be detached from it enough to see it all. Ultimately, the truth is the truth as it is, and one day, maybe someday or never, I would be healed completely to face it joyfully. For He has given us much joy and hope, and He conquers all when we worship Him alone. And in a secret corner in my heart, I habour no blame, wish the best, and yearn for complete healing.
Now to recount the wonderful days just passed:
Spent a rare day at home, woke at noon. Wild wild wet with colleagues was out due to the heavy rain. Glad to spend some much desired for time with parents and bro, back from his 3-week Thailand NS training. That boy is growing into a real nice dude, u'll love that guy! Only, mm, maybe could do with more wit and sense of humour? :P Anyway, researched for a JB trip the next day, including transport, accomodation, places of interest. Invited Al over to catch Lil Ms Sunshine in the aftn. Had round 2 of ktv at my house. Cycled and jogged with her near her house in the evening.
All plans of doing constructive things like buying and wrapping xmas presents, writing xmas cards cos there was obviously no other time, did not happen obviously. And it was time to sleep for a last-min 2 day 1 night JB trip planned with a new friend the next day.
The usual waking up late and spending a bomb on cab fare (~$30) to get to Kranji mrt. Took bus 170. Wondered how new fren and I could communicate. Will there be things to talk about? Will we fight over where to go? Will I get silently angry? Will I have an outburst?
In the long cab ride (explains the fare), I prayed about it. Felt much calmer and knew that the morning was just the start of a wonderful trip ahead. I had to be sincerely willing to be frens (well, there are rank issues cos we work in the same govt), for to Him, all are equal amongst his children.
We arrived at JB and found our way to a nice, clean, cosy and economical hotel in the city centre. Amazingly and thankfully, she's superbly familiar with JB. She was also nice enough to follow my itinerary planned, which of cos, was jampacked with sightseeing, food hunting, shopping, etc over short 2 days. ;) Discovered she has quite a nice, bright, cheery and easy-going character. We lazed on the bed and chitchatted for hr plus before I shoved us out to travel to Kota Tinggi in the outskirts. And she obliged. Haha. However, it really broke the ice and I got to know her better in terms of her life philosophy, past relationships, interests, etc.
The cab ride was nice as the driver is a typical easy-going, down-to-earth and kind muslim. He talked on abt his life in JB, and previously in Spore, during the 1.5 hr ride, which was interesting to hear.
We reached and indulged in eating our ramly burgers. Then, I coaxed her into swimming in the waterfall even though she was embarrassed to be the only one there among the conservative muslims to wear a swimsuit. hahaha! We took many picts, and she's an amazing photographer. Had our waterfall massage, and silly photos. Rode our tubes down the wooden slides. Which seemed abit insecure, esp since I often turned backwards and bounced off the sides of the slide, to her endless laughter. Luckily, the malays are real nice and the guard really saves u at the end of the slide when you exit tumbling upside down.
Then, the same driver came back to fetch us. It was like a private tour. We talked about proton cars, etc on the ride back. He intro-ed us to Danga Bay, a must-visit in JB. And gave us much advice how not to be cheated.
A malay from a posh restaurant readily allowed us in to the washroom. We decided to settle in that restaurant, and had a sumptious grilled seafood and chicken dinner, with yumlicious nasi lemak. Man, I still remember the tastes today. Then, we cycled on a unique bike through the area, my idea again of cos.
It was hard getting a cab but we did eventually after she decided she was exhausted and abt to flop onto the ground and I was a good match to her in 'adventuring'. (Really, what did we do that was so tiring?)
We had our good long baths. I then attempted to read the local newspapers, something I always do abroad. Only to fall asleep cos I guess I too was tired.
She had a good deep sleep, and dreamt of me stealing her food. I had a nightmare of losing someone.
It was shopping day. We woke early and had buffet breakfast.
We then headed for a couple of sights, and then to town for shopping.
I bought all the intended gifts and nice stuff for beloved family members. And shoes for myself!
Then, we rushed to another shopping mall as I wanted to buy dvds.
We then settled at the KFC for dinner.
She again was exhausted as we spent the whole day walking. Prior to departure, she made us share a de-brief on the trip. It was good and affirming sharing our honest opinions about each other and the trip. Esp when we clarified some points and it was obvious we thought the same regarding some issues.
Then, I had to rush us realising that we were behind time (imagine, what has the world come to if I do the rushing? But hey, I behave well on trips ok, I believe R can testify to that too;). And of cos I enjoy doing the rushing. heh) Rushed to the hotel, packed, and I asked the hotel reception to call us a cab. Rushed to cab and to checkpoint. Alas, we got through to Spore efficiently, but upon reaching the Khatib mrt, there was no last bus for me. We were 25 mins too late. Hence, I had to spend another bomb taking midnight cab from Yishun to home.
All in all, it was a fruitful and thoroughly enjoyable trip.
Having reached home at 2 am the night before, I struggled to get up after dear Ad did her due diligience to give a wake-up call at 7am. Honestly, I so want it to help, but there's the snooze. And I needed to say my morning prayers before the challenging day ahead.
Unfortunately, I let Ad down and couldn't make it for practice at 8.30 am. I was at choir loft early though and Ch was there. The 2 of them are back from Cambodia. Ch, is someone I had gotten close to over the past one year. She is soul-mate material, and is someone I love dearly. However, I fear all close, intimate frenships now. There is some unresolved personal issue that I really wish could be overcome. And I hope this frenship I treasure will not fall into the same category as the past ones which did not sustain. Well, I lift it to Him.
Anyway, we all sang our joyous mass, and had breakfast. And then, it was a bullet train, high pressure practice for the impending Xmas midnight mass, and our chop chop and everyone-get-to-work rehearsals for Xmas performance. I was playing the angel, and though was thrilled, was embarrassed about acting and wondering whether I had lost those acting skills from sec sch.
We sang our hearts out for the carols after skit and it was truly enjoyable. Then, Ch commented to me that it was "very good". I asked, what is very good (my singing?). She seemed puzzled as if I should know what she meant. She said my angel was very good. (...she's smart and had foresight of what was to come!) Mm.. okie.. was my understated reaction. Haha.
After that, it was evening time and I had to rush to a colleague's wedding. The thought that I had to sit with my boss at the table and put up some front felt draining to me. However, I eventually got to the dinner place and somehow, arrangement was screwed up and I was seated apart from them. Which was terrible but partly a relief. Haha. I don't know when talking to direct bosses could be fun. The only time was in NUS when I was still innocent and naive, when I genuinely liked her, and I didn't give 2 hoots about what others think, believing idealistically and passionately that I should behave as I wish (contradictory?).
It was Xmas eve. Had to go to office still and attend a couple of meetings, before Xmas dpt lunch. However, I woke and was energised after my morning prayer. The staff ranking meeting went satisfyingly well. I spoke up for my staff and got her a good ranking. Then, we had a fun time at the Xmas lunch chitchatting. I was aware that I was with a grp who were below my rank (we are really very rank-conscious here). However, I enjoyed it and heard a fellow xtian's testimony of how she survived a motorbike accident, and how she discoverd God then. it was amazing to discover that another one of them is "half a believer", and yet another really yearns to be a Xtian but is restricted from doing so. The 4 of us talked of watching The 10 Commandments together. :)
Then, we were off after the no-performance lunch (this dpt is not xtian). I intended to shop, but bumped into an ex-colleague and spent 2 hrs with her. She's really a sweetie and anyone around her feels her nice and xtian nature. However, there's something I intend to tell her, I dislike her questioning and undermining my actions and words. It doesn't help that Im hypersensitive about such issues. But well, mm, it's not easy to tell her but well, hope to find a chance to bring it in.
Then, i rushed with the xmas gifts. Was picked up at tanah merah and driven to my grandma's house for that dreaded yearly gathering. Well, bad to say, but I was super not dressed up, and dreaded the expected comments about my career, love life, weight, and then watching my same-age cousins stroll in with their expected, awe-inspiring make-up and dresses. There was once, nevertheless, during my elder bro's wedding, that Al's mom (haha) said I looked better than the 2 of them, though both are models and 1 is a Ms Universe top 10 finalist. But that was then u see, things have changed. haha.
Anyway, was super glad I could stay only 45 mins before rushing to church for final preparations. Scribbled all my xmas cards for choir pple at my grandma's house.
Xmas mass is worth a seperate entry in itself.
So long dudes and dudettes and my heartiest gratitude and congrats if you reached this point. Hahaha!
Merry xmas ;)