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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2004.11.05  15.44 NOTE ON SELF AND TOP FIVE Well, the drywall dust has settled in my lungs, but yet again on Sunday I will be starting to "finish" Mollie's basement - I helped do half of it a couple years ago, but know for the other half I will be much more helpful. I really love the snow, and I am pretty sure I will be getting a season's pass for Blue Mountain this winter. I see buying a season's pass kind of as a backlash against all the people who dis' the snow. I love winter - you just need quality warm clothes and something fun to do with friends. I work in Innisfil, which is at the mouth of Barrie (the world's snowyest place). Today it snowed quite a bit, but melted of course, and it was really ice pellets (like the fake snow at resorts). Well, here it is - TOP FIVE OUTDOOR WINTER ACTIVITIES: 5) Winter Retreats away from City Life 4) Walking around Conservation Areas or places like the Courtright Center 3) Going sledding at the "death Shoot" in the middle of the night 2) Snowboarding (or just riding the lift and falling down the hill) 1) Making out in a warm snow fort

	2004.11.05  15.44 NOTE ON SELF AND TOP FIVE Well, the drywall dust has settled in my lungs, but yet again on Sunday I will be starting to "finish" Mollie's basement - I helped do half of it a couple years ago, but know for the other half I will be much more helpful. I really love the snow, and I am pretty sure I will be getting a season's pass for Blue Mountain this winter. I see buying a season's pass kind of as a backlash against all the people who dis' the snow. I love winter - you just need quality warm clothes and something fun to do with friends. I work in Innisfil, which is at the mouth of Barrie (the world's snowyest place). Today it snowed quite a bit, but melted of course, and it was really ice pellets (like the fake snow at resorts). Well, here it is - TOP FIVE OUTDOOR WINTER ACTIVITIES: 5) Winter Retreats away from City Life 4) Walking around Conservation Areas or places like the Courtright Center 3) Going sledding at the "death Shoot" in the middle of the night 2) Snowboarding (or just riding the lift and falling down the hill) 1) Making out in a warm snow fort

	2004.11.05  15.44 NOTE ON SELF AND TOP FIVE Well, the drywall dust has settled in my lungs, but yet again on Sunday I will be starting to "finish" Mollie's basement - I helped do half of it a couple years ago, but know for the other half I will be much more helpful. I really love the snow, and I am pretty sure I will be getting a season's pass for Blue Mountain this winter. I see buying a season's pass kind of as a backlash against all the people who dis' the snow. I love winter - you just need quality warm clothes and something fun to do with friends. I work in Innisfil, which is at the mouth of Barrie (the world's snowyest place). Today it snowed quite a bit, but melted of course, and it was really ice pellets (like the fake snow at resorts). Well, here it is - TOP FIVE OUTDOOR WINTER ACTIVITIES: 5) Winter Retreats away from City Life 4) Walking around Conservation Areas or places like the Courtright Center 3) Going sledding at the "death Shoot" in the middle of the night 2) Snowboarding (or just riding the lift and falling down the hill) 1) Making out in a warm snow fort

	2004.11.05  15.44 NOTE ON SELF AND TOP FIVE Well, the drywall dust has settled in my lungs, but yet again on Sunday I will be starting to "finish" Mollie's basement - I helped do half of it a couple years ago, but know for the other half I will be much more helpful. I really love the snow, and I am pretty sure I will be getting a season's pass for Blue Mountain this winter. I see buying a season's pass kind of as a backlash against all the people who dis' the snow. I love winter - you just need quality warm clothes and something fun to do with friends. I work in Innisfil, which is at the mouth of Barrie (the world's snowyest place). Today it snowed quite a bit, but melted of course, and it was really ice pellets (like the fake snow at resorts). Well, here it is - TOP FIVE OUTDOOR WINTER ACTIVITIES: 5) Winter Retreats away from City Life 4) Walking around Conservation Areas or places like the Courtright Center 3) Going sledding at the "death Shoot" in the middle of the night 2) Snowboarding (or just riding the lift and falling down the hill) 1) Making out in a warm snow fort

	2004.10.19  11.02 Writer's block I also, sometimes feel intimidated about my writing. I mean, both my sister Sarah, and my love Mollie are both awesome users of words. I have discovered I just have a different style. Top Fives!!haha. here my entry begins. This is the way my mind thinks: ahh...gotta go, I just got busy at work - competing attentions. J

	2004.10.18  14.00 READER RESPONSE Man, I get kind of sad when I notice nobody EVER responds to my Blurty posts. Then I think, "Oh, they probably havn't been on in a while", but then I notice people have written 2 or 3 entries since I updated mine. I told my sis about how much this sucks, this one way conversation, and she said it is a common reason for people to quit Blurty. Well, the thought has crossed my mind, but who knows...I like reading and responding to the entries of my friends, so maybe I will just stop expecting the same from others. If I sound inexperienced in this Blurty world, its because I am, but maybe I can offer a critique since I am outside the current Blurty paradigm. James Mood: curious Music: wishing I was listening to some breaks

	2004.10.14  11.04 CITY OF BEES I love bees. The Tonn family owns a movie called "City of Bees" which shows how awesome they are. Part of my job at work "other duties as required" is building maintenance. There are a whole bunch of wasp nests all over our property, and today, while they were still aleep, I killed them all. Or at least the ones I know about. It was really scary - there was a hive that was 12"x8" - now destroyed to rubble. I have this amazing spray foam wasp killer for my weapon and a metal pipe. This is me trying to seem like I know how to do this type of thing - as I seem to be thrown into odd situations like this all the time. That huge hive was not very scary compared to something else... The other day I was in the yard at my work and I had my head down looking at something, and when I lifted my head I saw tons of bees all around me. I took off slowly - they didn't notice...but today was my vengence. I mean, I don't hold the sword in vain right? haha. I found them all asleep, and could not even see the honeycomb hive, just bees/wasps, piled on bees/wasps - maybe about 60 of them or so. So needless to say, THE CITY OF BEES HAS BEEN SACKED. It was a sting operation. James of Alexandria Mood: rage subsiding Music: the screaming bees

	2004.10.09  13.07 Observations on our Society Mollie and I are in the Library in Parry Sound - because we are at her cottage with her family and decided to come print off an article I brought on a disk. It costs .25 cents per page so I expanded the page right to the sides, and its only 10 pages now. We are going to buy a disposable camera because when we awoke this morning we noticed all the awesome colours of fall - assaulting our senses - even the smell is so great - leaves everywhere. The girl who was on this computer in the 30 min timeslot before me was working on an assignment called "thinking/opinion questions." A postmodern assignment for a grade 7 class I bet. But It probably gets her involved in discussion, because she doesn't feel the pressures of being "wrong" or "right". I can't imagine not having a computer, does she not have one? Maybe she brought a disk because her printer was not working. If we all gave a few dollars to our community library, they could have tons of computers and we could all utilize them well. BUT we live in selfish land where we all have to have the same things - mass marketing has got us tied in its web. Its like the kid in public school who had his own Nintendo system - even though his older brother already had one. It's sick. Though there are 22 hours every day where they are both left unused, they need two - just for the occasional 2 hour slot they both want to play. And it takes away their ability to share and interact. We would have to share the library computers....yikes, this gets me a little upset. There are a couple things I have not bought - simply because I know my neighbour has them (things for car maintenance). And he lends things to me. I go out of my way to lend things to him or his son too. If this type of thinking was in action - I suppose our economy would suffer, but we would grow closer together. We would ride to work with three co-workers that live in the area - instead of us having to use our 4 separate cars. Maybe this would go really extreme and we would begin to trust and rely on other humans... James of cottage land (I think the fresh air gets me going).

	2004.10.08  12.39 tired out - excited for the weekend I just read so many journals - probably 25 at least - to catch up. I'm too tired of the computer to make a real journal entry. Ahhh Shucks. James of Alexandria P.S. You can find me on MSN these days. James

	2004.09.28  10.29 Top Five Simple Pleasures 1) Eating delicious foods made with love. 2) Tending to my Bonzai tree at home, and my bamboo shoots at work. 3) Driving around and shopping for my work. 4) Hanging out/eating snacks/watching movies with Mollie's family. 5) Buffet's

	2004.09.21  10.25 For those who don't know... I never really told anyone this story. In the summer I was on the 400 going home after work. Since I was tired I just wanted to chill and listen to music in the right lane, so I did. An old, but good conditioned, town car of some sort was going 95 in front of me, and as a got closer I thought this person would speed up. Suddenly his brake lights flashed on and I hit the car. Why he was slowing down from 95 on the Hwy - no idea. We both pulled over, and this older Italian man who struggled with English was very shaken up. It seems I moved his whole bumper down and to the right. At first I couldn't believe that bump did that damage - also because my Jetta-tank only had a bent license plate. After persuading the stubborn man not to go through insurance, he agreed to get a few quotes and call me with them. I have barely any insurance on my car - the minimum, because its cheap, and I had never been in an accident, but I knew my deductable would be like $1000.00 so I would have to pay for the repair and my rates would increase for five years. Needless to say, I ended up settling the matter by writing a cheque for $1000.00 to this man. I had the cash in the bank, but wanted to do something neat with it like give it to a struggling family to help their morgage payments, or give it to make someones dream come true. But this happened and I decided to see it like I was giving a stranger a present. I want to run my own make a wish foundation, and help people achieve their dreams. It seems money can hold back even the best, so Robin Hood style, I want to make lots of money, in order to give it away and help those who are not privilaged young white males like myself. Some cannot work, or are underemployed - and us fat cats need to stop drinking our $4 drinks and live for others who need us. James of Alexandria Mood: fat-catish and fighting greed Music: the sound of my Spirit rising.

	2004.09.20  13.38 DO IT YOURSELF These days I have been doing my own car maintenace and repairs. It's not that hard actually. I think mechanics just instill fear into the average driver. It's kind of like when I went to custom picture framing stores and asked how they do it, or if they could teach me and they refused, saying it was a "trade to be learned." That's another way of saying, "I'm afraid people will discover the simplicity of my job and I will be replaced by do-it-yourselfers across North America." I did a bunch of body work, painting, and just replaced my bumper for about 35 percent of what it would have cost to get it done at a shop. And now I have these valuable skills. I would like to thank the internet junkies across the web for writing their articles on such "taboo" topics. Mood: between moods Music: "getting off early from work" jingle I made up

	2004.09.16  11.52 Top Five Caffine Products 1) Chocolate covered expresso beans 2) Fountain Pepsi with a lemon slice 3) Caramel Macciato 4) "Some peple say I eat too many cho-co-late bars" (acne commercial) 5) Straight Caffine pills - haha- just kidding (Jessy Spano).

	2004.09.16  10.33 2 essentials for all humans As a Tonn, I am known to be bluntly honest and not afraid to express my feelings. Which is a strength AND a weakness. The Coles influence on me has meant I am working on communicating these feelings in a positive way - even if it is a rebuke. My two most esteemed Traits in human beings - OPENNESS AND HONESTY!!! They go hand in hand, but the extremely self-conscious in our world don't want anyone to even think about them when they are not around - thinking it is gossip!! Communication equalls life, and self-consciousness ---and lack of trust/faith strips away any chance of communication with eachother. This is the end of my frustrated rant. James of bluntville USA Mood: irritated Music: conference calls

	2004.09.09  11.30 Top Five's Its funny how humans naturally begin to conform to their surroundings - even non-conformists with their non-conformist friends. I love so many things, but some of them are secret loves that my friends don't know about. I forget I love them, just because my friends aren't interested in them. Well, my friends who like hockey are not my artistic friends etc. Some lists. Today's Top five things on my mind: 1)Wedding planning 2)Building better relationships with friends 3)My love for live electronic music 4)Getting loose ends tied at work 5)Cutting my hair Today's Top Five types of Electronic music I love: 1)Dark Drum and Bass 2)Breakbeat 3)Electronica 4)Trip-Hop 5)Emo with drum machines Today's top five things I am looking forward to: 1)Wedding planning 2)Djing with Travis tonight 3)Going out for lunch in a few minutes 4)My friends becoming closer friends 5)Weeknight fun (fringe benefit of a day job) Today's Top five things I am thankful for: 1) A job I can use email and Blurty at 2) The pouring rainy day outside 3) Gourmet foods (Italian) 4) Caffeinated Drinks (a secret I just found out about myself) 5) The great feeling of helping people Yesterday I gave two haircuts. Mollie's brother Kyle (who is Chinese) I gave a Bruce Lee awesome haircut with 5 spikes coming down on his face. And Moll's other foster brother's George Clooney style. For anyone who doesn't know, I love hairstyling, I have done my own for about 6 years now. At work I love helping the Linemen, and the accounting dept. and the others in engineering with me, and the Customer service people. They all call me for help, and are always so thankful. I love going the extra mile - and surprising them with extra things - like buying pops for the Linemen on a hot day, moving furniture for accounting, Installing shelves in the building, and fixing (or taking to the mechanic) the vehicles here at work. I do things. But these things I do for people. And that is what makes my job so enjoyable. Mood: optimistic Music: Drips of Rain

	2004.09.02  12.32 sheep I was driving by a field when, to my right, I saw a field, chalk full of white/grey sheep. I love those little fuzzy guys (partly because my sister does so much) and I was filled with a smile that leaked out of my face. Just as fast, my eyes noticed one sheep in specific - on its back - dead - with its feet in the air. My mind left the 99 and mourned the loss of that 1. That sheep was special to someone (even me in a way). Emotion. Its a tail-gator. James

	2004.08.31  08.34 The Abolition of Work I have been reading a booklet called "the abolition of work" by a guy named Bob Black. I went to a crazy human rights book store with Mollie on Saturday at Kensington market. There were some pretty outragous topics there - in your face style - but I'm game for a challange of views. That is why I bought this $2 booklet - because the topic is so neat, and something I have been wondering all my life---Why does adult life revolve around "work"? I could never imagine myself starting work, and continuing to work for the next 45 years or so. Now it doesn't seem that crazy, but that is another reason I got the booklet. I like reading ideas and arguments about things I don't necessarily agree with. They make me struggle a little (to understand life) but they strengthen what I know is true. Like working out a muscle - I am at a point in my faith where it has been tested by various things that have only made it stronger. Maybe I will post some excerps from the book at a later point. I love my job because I am free within it. I know I am not my role, just as I am not my body, but I do my job and use my body freely knowing there is a true "me" within my doings. James of Alexandria Mood: contemplative Music: I like the 1985 song

	2004.08.30  12.16 Cole in my stocking Today I woke up to a bad Christmas. I see myself as pretty meek and gentle, but the shodowlands of old keep tracking me. They have recently found me sleeping - the shadows - and have entered my skull. I had a terrible dream last night, and the wierd thing is that I had a similar nightmare the night before. These are not just ideas of the night - they affect me strongly. Saturday night I dremt about a random person (one I know) who just kept bugging me about not having enough money and making me feel trapped - needless to say- I started beating him to a pulp. Yeah, real meek and gentle of me - I don't know whether to feel guilty or not, is it my fault I dream this way? I mean, it was the type of thing where you know the person is dead, but you keep beating them anyway. Well, I woke up very angry - not just at this person, but at the fact that I acted this way in my dream. Last Night it was worse, and closer to home. It was my dad this time. I can't remember exactly what happened, but I remember hitting him in all his weak spots - just trying to hurt him back for all the times he's hurt me. I woke up ready to kill. I realize I still have some harboured resentment there, but I thought I had dealt with it (numorous times). I convinced myself nothing had happened and I did not act this way. My dad came in my room in the morning (I felt his presence) he was just telling me he was leaving for work early. My first words this morning were "I love you" to him. I have to battle this hate with love - like Christ. But I feel twisted these mornings. James Mood: numb Music: a conversation on mic phone

	2004.08.10  14.18 yesterday Yellow shot by my eyes! Two canaries darted by, and I felt like a secret admirer

	2004.08.10  14.18 Almost I felt I really could. Though I have been told it is impossible. So I put aside all the things anyone has ever told me and went with my heart...I tried to fly. I had momentary faith that told me just to give it a shot! So I raised my arms to aim upward.....and jumped! Without much discouragement I tried again, this time shutting my eyes, letting it happen naturally. Imagining myself raising into the sky like in my dreams - I opened my eyes to see the black tarmack glued to my feet, preventing me. I gave it a shot, and want to be open to new possibilites. James of Alexandria

	2004.08.10  14.10 Boy A boy lives in a house next to the highway. One day I drove by and saw him, though he was oblivious to anyone watching. He was holding a bow and arrow, pointing it straight up to the sky, but not shooting, just aiming. This flash of beauty was wonderful to see for a second. It made me remember I am free. James of Alexandria

	2004.01.30  17.05 a moment caught The sides of my mouth, they curl and smile, Delighting to be here now. The troubles of youth disintegrate, In sight of this window's view. This joy, mine to tell of, and speak of to all Shall be left unsaid in words, But light they will see of the face of my soul And the warmth of love i'll shout. Light blues to dark. Street lights come on. My sabbath rest is here. Dream dreams of day, bright sun of noon. The present moment's grace.

	2003.02.24  19.06 an experiment hello, i had a dream last night. i vannot remember the full vontent but it was about being blind. when i woke up i devided not to open my eyes. a devision many vannot make. i hace notived many things: i vannot type as well as i thought/ it takes twenty steps from the washroom to the rovking vhair in the licingroom/ my dad hugged me/ my sister dissed me on the vheek and eqplained to me the beauty of the flowers on the table that smsmelled so wonderful/ i no longer hace to turn on the light when i enter a room/ my family helped me with dinner/ mollie is now here to help me with my homework/ i vannot drive/ mollie just told me i have been typing v's for my c's. sorry. james. Mood: contemplative

	2003.02.21  18.43 This Blurty Problem I have been thinking about this "blurty" system, and the more I do, the more I see the good and bad that can become of it. THE GOOD: An inspired soul needs an outlet to express itself. This journelling can be an amazing source of unity for friends who don't see eachother much, or express sincerity easier not in person. THE BAD: A distracted soul needs to bring others down, get even, and express the slough of despond that is within. The journalling could easily turn into a 24 hour gossip station where people deduce the nameless foe's who are badmouthed. This is a behind the back-slap in the face. This blurty system could also be a sort of punching bag-a place to vent vertical and horizontal hatred. THE GIST: Do not compare ourselves among ourselves-a horizontal outlook is death. Cling to what is good, abhor what is evil- flee from it. Encourage eachother in the sight of God.

	2003.02.17  12.01 Unsaid words - more expressive or less Here's a neat dilemma: 1) I can say "I love you" or 2) I can do something to show you my love. 1) I can type that I enjoyed reading your recent journal, or 2) I can write an appreciative letter and you would know I enjoyed it without me having to type it. 1) I could tell someone that the Bible is incredibly important or 2) I can express that without the straight phrase, showing them by my conduct how important it is. I think #2 usually means more and is largely neglected. This scenario can apply to many situations, but is not always as cut-and-dry as it seemed here. This must be applied with wisdom, sometimes a short to-the-point remark means a lot, especially if the person usually chooses #2. What do you think? james