James Tan's Blurty

Subject:	Vogue...
Time:	2:01 am.
Mood:	geeky.
Music:	I'll Never Tell - Fallen Leaves.

I always fail to blog because I feel I have nothing important to say. Either that, or nothing profound to enlighten mankind. Many have watched this blog with disappointment as updates are few and far between. Today I will not disappoint anyone but myself, as I will post something insignificant and unprofound... but it'll be fun for those who know the two people in the photo below.

I was the photographer for a studio shoot on Wednesday. I was to capture a Qi Gong sifu in various Qi Gong positions. I told Chin Hor I felt bad for being paid to do such a job as I felt anyone could take these photos. I got ready my solid tripod and my tiny, trusty, underestimated, Canon Powershot G2. As John Goh and I started planning the lighting and fine-tuning it for the shoot, Chin Hor said, "See, it's not that easy to shoot these photos... not everyone can do this." And I realized that that was true. I felt reassured. Thank you.

I cannot go on without mentioning the talent of John Goh. He was a great help with the lighting and I must say that I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to work with him again on a photoshoot in the future. He helped make the photos look good, I cannot take full credit for them. Thank you, John.

I will not post the series of interesting Qi Gong photos that were taken. But I would like to make an animated gif from those photos though, it'd be quite amusing. So if anyone out there can teach me how to make an animated gif, please let me know. Until then... here is a test shot taken on that day. Those interested to hire Chin Hor or Benny to model, please contact 1-800-PRO-MODELS.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	To beat or not to beat? That is the question...
Time:	1:54 am.
Mood:	tickled.
Music:	Celebrity Skin - Hole.

This is a comment I posted on Messy Christian's blog entitled The "M" Word

You should probably click and read her blog entry before continuing so you don't misunderstand what I'm talking about.

~*~**~*~**~*~~*~~***~~*~~*~**~~**~~****~~*~*~*~~**~~**~~*~~*~~~***~~*~*~*~~**~****~~

Hmm... no comments on this blog? Surprising. Or have you somehow lost them?

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that you are far off the track and that masturbation is truly a sin! In the Bible, Jesus never masturbated!

Am I sounding like someone from Church O? *haha* I was just kidding. I hate it when people make the stupidest and most ignorant comments and use Bible verses out of context to support their opinion! What verses in the Bible mentioned masturbation being a sin? I sure would like to read those verses, 'cause they have escaped me somehow in the many years I've been a Christian!

A controversial topic this is... I'm glad you had the balls (nothing to do with masturbation, and not like you have the real ones, just a manner of speech) to blog about this. A large portion of the Body of Christ needs to grow (no pun intended! Honest!) up and get out of the shells where they've been hiding and keeping each other warm. Life is bigger than 'masturbation is a sin' and 'the more you give to God, the more he will bless you'!

So I guess it's true that Bill Gates doesn't masturbate and gives millions to furthering God's Kingdom! Bless his kind heart.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Sweet Revenge...
Time:	1:09 am.
Mood:	nerdy.
Music:	The Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie.

In an interesting study, it has been discovered that "...revenge is linked to the area of the brain associated with enjoyment and satisfaction." Click below to read the article.

During the study, in a game of trust, most chose greed over the betterment of another. And most of those betrayed chose to then punish the offender. It's interesting to note that even when the test subjects are told that they would increase their winnings by trusting one another, greed still gets the better of them.

Also, fascinatingly, when revenge is being executed, the area of the brain which lights up when you see a photograph of your beloved.. lights up. In the words of psychologist Brian Knutson, "Instead of cold, calculated, reason, it is passion that may plant the seeds of revenge."

It's no wonder I feel so good when someone who hits me is made to stand in the corner of the classroom. I remember the glee I felt when someone who tried to run my go-kart off track spun his cart instead, and landed in the sand. I felt a deep sense of accomplishment and happiness when a teacher who kept picking on me was fired after I riled the whole class to make an honest assessment of her teaching abilities. The list goes on.

Got a list too? No need to be guilt-ridden... we've been wired that way.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Helping Myself...
Time:	2:38 pm.
Mood:	content.

I like helping others... at least I think I do. I like the notion of being a selfless being who's purpose is to make the life of others better, although I know for myself that that's not who I am. But to my credit, I do try. In fact, there are times that I try very hard. There are times when it's easier an there are times when it's not.

I was thinking about this a while ago. I realized that it brings much more into your life than it takes away. We shouldn't be stingy when it comes to helping others because, essentially, what we are doing is holding back good things from ourselves.

I noticed the semesters that I had straight As were the semesters that I was tutoring my peers. Just helping out as much as I could every day to help them through. Of course I did contribute to them understanding the modules better, but I also contributed to me doing better. In this case it's pretty tangible. The more I tutor, the more I understand, thus the better I do. There are, however, many other cases where the results are less tangible. But I know for sure that my own life is enriched whenever I contribute to the joy or success of another human being.

When I help others... I am helping myself.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Conversation with a Muslim...
Time:	4:04 am.
Mood:	pleased.
Music:	His Loving Kingdom-Vineyard Music USA-If You Say Go.

This is a recent e-mail conversation I had with my Muslim friend after he read my Allah or Jesus?... Truth or fiction? and Rick Mathes' Official website posts.

His words are in bold.

Hi James,

Hi Shamyl!

Thanks for the email. I hope there are more who share your sentiments.

You are very welcome. Thank you for your reply. I can assure you that there
are others that share my sentiments. In fact, the person who forwarded the chain
mail to me in the first place said thanks for the enlightenment and that he was
going to forward my reply to everyone that he forwarded the chain mail to!

So hopefully, another 30 or so people will spread the word and stop the hate.

What I am upset about is that the actions and words of these so-called "muslims",
have forced those who are true to their faith to defend it. This is a real shame.

I agree, I guess all extremists, of all forms, are an embarrassment to us all.
Isn't it funny that all religions teach us to love each other and to restore peace?
And so many throughout history and today are using God's name to kill and destroy.

Anyway, just wanted to give the thumbs up for your courage to voice your
thoughts and opinions.

Thanks for your vote of confidence!
I was just doing my bit to make the world a better place.

Love your neighbour, no matter what his/her religion may be.
Shamyl

Yes, we all have the same Father,
James

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Rick Mathes' Official Website
Time:	3:44 pm.
Mood:	Pissed Off!!!.

Rick Mathes' Official Website

Here's what he said, further proving his ignorance and hatred towards the Muslims. The quote is from him and on his official website.

"Last, but not least, I find it amusing that those within the Islamic faith who were contacted for comment were offended and denied the crux of the point which Mr. Mathes was making. I would highly suggest that you read the Koran, which is quite explicit as to the fate of those who are identified as "infidels". I might also remind those reading this that it was the followers of Muhammad - not Christ - that destroyed the World Trade Center buildings killing thousands of innocent "infidels"; Muslims are killing our troops in Iraq - not Christians. Need I say more?"

First of all, it was the 'Christians' who invaded a Muslim community without cause and are still unable to justify it other than 'freedom'. I guess we're allowed to change our reasons when we kill millions of people. It makes me sick that no one can punish Bush and his administration for not being able to find Weapons of Mass Destruction, thus killing without reason!

If you read Rick's website further, you'll find many other instances of anti-Muslim comments.

Could it be that he and I worship the same god?

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Allah or Jesus?... Truth or Fiction?
Time:	3:42 pm.
Mood:	Pissed Off!!!.

I'm pretty upset at the moment with American propaganda and their ability to manipulate the truth for their own advantage... and sadly, a majority of the world believe what they see on CNN, and a majority of Christians, what they read from Christian ministers.

Here's my response to Rick Mathes' chain mail :

After reading the e-mail, I was was slightly suspicious about the credibility of the source as I have read before that Americans have misconstrued the meaning of 'jihad' to mean Holy War, when that is not the real meaning of the word. So for an 'Imam' to respond the way he did and not correct Rick Mathes was suspicious.

The definition of Jihad: The meaning of Jihad in Islam is to wage a (Holy) war with the Self. That is, it is the war which rages inside all believers of all faiths. It is the war of the Spiritual Self against the desires of the Selfish Self. It is a war waged to cut asunder the veils which have shut us out from the Beauty of God and His Desire for us. That is one of many purposes for the Fast of Ramadan. To focus your Self, your Soul, on the Desire of God, and your Submission (Islam) to His Will.

So I did a quick Google search and got a few links. Turns out that Rick Mathes stands by his testimony. But the TRUTH
is to be different from his account.
Some excerpts in case you're too busy to read the web page:

• The presenter on Islam was not an Imam, but rather a Muslim inmate who was pressed into presenting after no Imam could be arranged.

• Prison officials confirm that the Muslim inmate was asked a few questions that he was unable to answer, but none along the lines of those suggested by Mr. Mathes.

For more chain-letters that should be stopped, click here.

Anyway, from Rick Mathes rebuttal in the above website, he does come across as someone who doesn't favour the Muslim community much and is highly suspicious of them;

"...Give me an Imam that will sing "God Bless America" or will say the "Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag" and I will listen to them discredit the fears we have about the Muslim community and all that we see and hear in the media. Until the American Muslim community speaks up, I have my doubts about those who join them."

I will have to say that it is an ignorant and narrow view.

Most people believe what the media has to say, but as someone who has studied the way media works, I will tell you that CNN, and other news agencies are tools of propaganda, just like our local newspapers, which are owned by the government. We cannot believe everything they say without doing our own research.

Many Christians, sadly, have fallen into this trap since 9/11. Mr.Bush will quote scripture, but his actions and the actions of other Christians actually put us to shame. What happened to loving others and loving our neighbours? Others, like me, are unhappy with the words of Rick Mathes, attempting to belittle the Muslim faith and it's leaders. Read their comments.

If it was a true account, I'd have little to say, but there are many Christians (many of them Americans for some reason) who are on the Internet telling stories and belittling others by lying. And it makes me really sad that Christians should be so 'evil' and prejudiced against others.

Love your neighbour, even if he is Muslim...

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Subject:	Happy Birthday Ham...
Time:	12:35 am.
Mood:	disappointed.

I was reminded tonight why I hate going to parties. They remind me of how insignificant I am. I easily get lost in a crowd of friends. Not my friends. And tonight I got lost in a crowd of 15. Everyone else seemed to connect with at least one other person there. And tonight I should have connected too, right? Afterall, Ham is one of my best friends.

I sat with the birthday boy and a few other prominent players in the music scene almost the whole time I was there. But I was alone. We might as well have been in different rooms. The conversation was about music, bands, corporate life, and the deficiency of others. I was listening, but I wasn't part of it. I connected with his girlfriend, Ding and her friend more than anyone else tonight. Ding tried convincing me to watch some TV, some cartoons, cuz she said I looked so bored. I was, but why would I want to watch TV during my best friend's party? It goes against my principles. Watch TV alone in a party? What a loser. The same level of loser-ness as sitting on a table alone, a nobody.

I left just after midnight. I was polite. I sang the song, I ate the cake, I wished him well.

I walked to my car alone in the dark, leaving behind one of my best friends... my heart broken.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Clean...
Time:	1:56 am.
Mood:	intelectually hungry.
Music:	Aqualung's Still Life album.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Eyes that are wide open can find beauty in anything, anywhere.

Behold the traditional hand wash of the Chinese restaurants. Made of Chinese tea and a slice of lime. You simply dip your fingers in, squeeze the lime, and rub your fingers. The oil will disappear, leaving behind clean, nice-smelling fingers.

What I find more appealing than the cleaning ability is that the wash is communal. We don't get personal bowls. We all share one. We all put our dirty fingers in. We all pull our clean fingers out. For some reason, I find that appealing. We become equals. No one is too dirty to share the bowl.

If only we lived life like how we share the lime tea wash...

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Subject:	NEw...
Time:	2:32 am.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	My Apology: The Get Up Kids.

It's the first day of the Lunar New Year and I've already seen two things that I've never seen before in my lifetime.

ONE: A petrol station running out of petrol. Due to the large influx of vehicles making their way outstation, the ProJet just before the East-West Expressway was empty before noon!

TWO: Someone telling the mamak that the teh tarik is not sweet enough! Unbelievable, but it happened. It's always a joke amongst us that you will never hear anyone asking the mamak to sweeten the teh tarik. Even when you ask for 'kurang manis' {less sweet}, it's still so very sweet. It finally happened, and I saw it with my very own eyes. Hurray for my grandma! We couldn't believe it so my cousins, my brother, and I took turns to taste it... and my grandma was not losing her taste, it really wasn't sweet enough!

I've also been doing something I've never done before. For the past two nights, I've been walking my dogs. I know these tiny creatures run all around my garden already, but I thought it'd be nice if they could see the great outdoors... legally! Instead of sneaking out on me all the time! Plus, the nights are beautiful and great for walking. It's good for them and for me. I'll keep this up as a new routine.

I also haven't been taking photographs for my own pleasure for a little while now. So tonight I set forth with a mission; to capture the old blue truck at the construction site on film. That I did.

I'm pleased.

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Subject:	Chinese New Year...
Time:	10:22 am.
Mood:	contemplative.
Music:	How Much Is Enough: You Am I.

Chinese New Year is here once again. The Chinese and their Lunar Calanders never seem to go wrong. Each year it's the same... bright sun, hot weather, high temperatures, mixed with strong winds here and there. Not once has the Chinese New Year been a rainy affair, nor a cloudy one. For that matter, it hasn't even been comfortably warm.

Someone from Australia asked me if I enjoyed Chinese New Year. I said, "Of course. It's always a good excuse to celebrate. A good excuse to meet up with friends and family. A good excuse to exchange gifts."

Celebrative seasons are sprinkled throughout the year. They come, they go. They make life more exciting. People seem more alive. People seem happier. Families get together, even if they may not get along. Friends remember to greet each other, even when many times they forget to call. We smile and laugh, even when some of us have forgotten how to.

Then I thought to myself...

Wouldn't it be nice if we all lived like it was Chinese New Year, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Easter, Hari Raya, Thaipusam, Deepavali, our birthday, Mother's Day, Merdeka Day, and Thanksgiving every day?

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Subject:	Job's friends...
Time:	11:44 am.
Mood:	lethargic.
Music:	Can't Help Falling In Love: Elvis Presley.

Reading the book of Job from The Message by Eugene Peterson, I'm intrigued by the fact that reading this book at this stage of my life bears a different meaning from my teenage years.

The advice given by Job's friends sound all too familiar.

"You must have sinned to be going through what you're going through now... go and repent."

"Bad things only happen to those who don't love God."

"How could you question God in such a manner?"

I realize now, the friends of Job are meant to be examples of fellow believers... and how their lack of depth in the understanding of God and faith lead to the unbiblical judgements that they hold.

The truth is... sometimes good people go through shit as well. And the most faithful of God's followers may not have a perfect life. Well, life in the fallen world is like that.

Questioning God the way Job questioned God is part of a healthy spiritual life. It's not healthy or more noble when you don't ask God questions. He was being honest... questioning the logic behind his suffering and why God would allow it.

When there is a sense of injustice, there will be questions, there will be pain, and there will be doubt. Keeping these emotions hidden, pretending that it's all alright, and that you are deeply in love with God every second of every day will only lead to a path of thorns.

We can all be honest with God. He can take it. He can take our doubts and our interrogation. He really can. Isn't that what a real relationship is about? Working through uncomfortable situations, and having uncomfortable conversations... all this so that you can both grow closer together.

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Subject:	Stories that make me feel sad...
Time:	9:36 pm.
Mood:	melancholy.
Music:	:.

I am overcome by emotion... not because of my own experiences, but by the life of a close friend and a programme on MTV called, 'Flipped'.

I'm quite pleased with MTV. MTV to me all this time was pure fluff. Nothing but an instigator of boring, soulless, pop culture. But with this programme, they have redeemed themselves. At least they're doing something worthwhile with the popularity that they own.

I've watched other episodes before. Young kids are put into situations the opposite of their current lives. On a previous episode, 2 school bullies, one male, another female, were dressed up as nerds and sent to new schools. They experienced first-hand how it felt like to be made fun of and teased by everyone. The experience changed their lives. They realized how their behaviour strongly affects the emotions and well-being of the marginalized. Now they stand up for those being bullied.

In today's episode, they exposed a boy and a girl, both addicted to tobacco, to a life ruined by it. Oral cancer. Emphysema. Tobacco related problems have never really pinched my heart. But the stories told and the tears shed made me cry from within. The closing scene of the Major League hopeful hugging his mother and both of them crying together moved me. More painful was the tearful sharing from a patient of emphysema:

"I have trouble breathing. And I don't sleep well every night because the machine that helps me breathe is so noisy. People think that this disease only affects those 60 or 70. I'm only 41. Emphysema isn't a disease that kills you. It's the effects of emphysema that kill you."

Before the show, I was listening to stories about a close friend. In recent months, his life has collapsed around him. I'm not talking about being dumped. Not talking about a failed business venture. Not talking about betrayal. Not talking about family-related issues. Not talking about misforture. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about all the above, rolled into one flaming ball, hitting you hard where it hurts.

It's odd that I was reading the book of Job just last night. Suffering is the keyword. A good life... flipped. My heart ached for him. Everything just falls in unison. A domino effect. A series of bad choices made, followed by a series of misfortunes. Business venture fails. A run-in with loan sharks. Redemption from friends and family. Lies and deceit. Financial breakdown. Marital stress. Divorce. Mother faces health problems. Loses money that doesn't belong. Accused of stealing. Gossip spreads. Integrity questioned. Image tarnished. Mother-in-law doesn't want to take care of the baby anymore.

Where does one go from here?

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Subject:	Your blog is his blog is my blog
Time:	3:17 am.
Mood:	fulfilled.
Music:	Belated - New Found Glory.

I've been wanting to blog again for some time now... and since I can't seem to write something that satisfies myself, I'll cut and paste another blog I really enjoyed reading.

I read the blog from another blog (Jason Clark's Blog) which I got to know of from another person's blog (Sivin Kit's Blog

Enjoy the excerpt from Jason Clark's Blog

Winn Griffin - Blog Hero
Winn Griffin's Blog

Today we salute and honor Winn Griffin. Who is Winn? Exactly, most of you will never have heard of him. Winn is on my doctoral programme, but already has a doctorate. He is the embodiment of learning and growing.

He is also the real author of "Power Evangelism" and most of John Wiimber's books and materials, when he was employed as Wimber's researcher and writer. Winn has the dryest, funniest sense of humor, has more life experience than 5 people together, and is an amazing thinker, theologian, and writer. You can download a piece of his most recent writing here

You can read an extract in the rest of this post...

"The church’s understanding of the story of God in Scripture is puny and for the most part seriously fragmented. Understanding the whole story is not a concept that is celebrated in the church at the beginning of the twenty-first-century. One of the primary reasons for not knowing the overarching story of Scripture is the way we have come to use it. Individuals and the church have developed the malignant disease of versitis (prooftexting), which has grown to epidemic proportions. We read and quote Scripture ad nauseam in small fragments we call verses. It is rarely read as a whole complete story from beginning to end. Most, if not all, of our reading of Scripture only reinforces a belief that the Bible is just a collection of little nuggets that we can choose from when we find them helpful. We need to stop memorizing verses of Scripture and then quoting them as proof texts as we brutally tear them from their God-given context and then order them in a human fashion, as if we could do a better job than the Spirit in putting the text together. If we are going to memorize, then we need to memorize the stories. In my opinion, the church and individuals need to recover the whole story of Scripture. We will never reside in the biblical narrative and make it our own if we keep pulling single verses from their context and use them as proof texts to argue our own theological agenda.

In addition to versitis we have also developed topicalitis (a contagious and deadly Bible teaching disorder), and systematitis (the art of propositional gathering). We have developed a penchant for minutia. It is my opinion that fragmented teaching produces fragmented believers who are anemic, listless, and weak with no sense of vocation as a believer in God and an experiencer of God.

These three epidemics are caused by foundationalism, which among Evangelicals has caused too "low" a view of Scripture. Why? Evangelicals have come to believe in the authority of the book that we have made Scripture to be. We believe that God somehow has given us the wrong sort of book and it is our job to turn it into the right sort of book by engaging in the fissiparous use of Scripture. Below, we will look at Grenz and Franke and their discussion about the rise of foundationalism. Before we do, let’s note a brief overview of Story." Winn Griffin

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Subject:	Art...
Time:	3:31 am.
Mood:	artistic.

Today's photoshoot was an interesting experience. It has inspired some wild ideas in my mind.

I was in Disco, which is downtown behind Central Market. There has been fashion shows going on every week there for the last month and today was the finale, a 'best of'. My mission? To shoot 2 rolls of film on my Nikon and 150 photos on my Canon G2.

The fashion show was not too commercialized. There wasn't a great barier between the designers and the masses. It was laid back and 'artsy'. My favourite fashion store was being represented tonight. Good Mixer is a shop with a collection of clothes, hats, shoes, and fashion accesories from all over Asia. Located in one of our pioneer shopping malls, Sungai Wang, it's certainly a shop with character. Tonight, those items were on display, worn by flawless fashion models.

Because I was a photographer, I was allowed backstage access. My favourite photographs of the night were taken in there. All candid/photojournalistic shots. Behind-the-scenes. Then I met the man behind Good Mixer. I told him I was a fan and showed him the beaded bracelet I bought from the store. He gave me his card. I took some photos of him and a few more not of him before leaving.

Disco & Liquid are clubs with a distinct interior worth the pages of Ish, Interior Design and Architectural Digest. The design from the main room to the toilets were artistically beautiful. The lights cast pretty shadows on the walls. The toilets had curtains made from waterproof/raincoat material. Even the bottle arrangement at the bar was worth a second and third look.

I'm thinking of using this place as the venue of Fallen Leaves' comeback. The band plays the soundtrack for the night. And the fashion models will interpret and express the emotions of the songs in a dramatic theatre-styled manner. It will be a beautiful night where art is displayed... in song, in fashion, in drama, in design...

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	To be or not to be...
Time:	12:08 pm.
Mood:	ecstatic.

I'm telling everyone that I'm worried about not having enough jobs coming in every month, and that I've been crying out to God about it. But when the jobs arrive... I turn them down. I turned down 2 jobs this weekend for 2 reasons.

1. I have an important dinner to celebrate with a close friend something significant.

2. I have church on Sunday morning.

For most Malaysians in the rat race, this would seem a stupid decision to turn down jobs like that. This might piss off my employers; missed out opportunity; etc. But I think I have my priorities right. I want to work hard, but I don't want to be a rat in the race. I want to put loved ones and God above my career (and my employer).

I'm pleased, happy, peachy, satisfied, content, delirious about my decision.

A rat; to be or not to be...

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Blurty for James Tan.

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