12:54PM - ...
oh my GOD MY HEAD!!!!!!!! Sweet Jesus! It hurts...
SoOoOoOo hungover....
Twas worth it though. Last night was fuckin cool. I had a *really* hot guy rubbing lotion on my tatt mwahaha he was *so* cute!
The people at that party are a hell of a whole lot better than the *others* they were all really nice & there wasn't a giant orgy of fat sluts on the floor. Sorry but, Yahoo parties, are fucking gross. Please, ya'll STOP BREEDING! Dont' call them GT's call them, "Fat balding old men feeling up really trashed fat young girls because that is the only time that any of you will find any of you remotely attractive Parties"
...ANYWAYS yeah, no one at this party *cough* cept Me, Kelly, & Sonya got all T&A on everyone. Hehe...yeah. I actually showed my boobs at a party. Oh, ya'll missed it. Dont think I'm gonna do it again, it's just...wehn really fine guys ask to see your tits, then ask repeatedly afterwards while saying that they are really fucking cute tits, well...they tend to just fall out of my shirt on thier own accord.
Oh yes, and I sat in a puddle of spilled coke & soaked the arse of me pants. So the second half of the night was me walking around in some garish plaid shirt, with my hoodie around my waist. DON'T ask, why I didn't tie the plaid thing around my waist & just continue wearing the hoodie. Please dont.
I also had Peach Shnappes ejected all over my pants leg & guys would keep hugging me & touchin my tatt, so I'm covered in alcohol & writhing in pain. It was a good party.
I need coffee so bad...
Current mood: 
uncomfortable
Current music: Pink Floyd - What Do You Want From Me
10:16PM - Lavisi sopra me come pioggia, prendalo dalla tempesta, anneghi la mia avversione...
Sitting here, listening to the rain drum against the skylights, the windows. I want to run outside & lay down in the wet grass & let the rain splash against my skin. Sweet spikes of cold pleasure washing over me. The shock your skin feels as each drop falls onto it, I want to relish it, feel it all over me.
Thunder booms in the distance & I think of how things are, how they have been, how they might go...and yet I still want to be washed away, down to the Sea, never to be seen again. Drifting in the waters into forever...
Have you ever layed out in the rain? It's like...connection somehow, to me. The way it feels...so, good. So...bad. It's like everything...all the moisture gathering together from God knows where, condensing, falling, covering you. Water from a thousand lakes, rivers, gulleys, puddles. Water that's been run through by children, animals...bathed in by birds in the sunlight, singing thier songs.
Who stood by said lakes, what were they thinking, did they make a wish? Did they kiss someone? Were they daydreaming to the silent beauty of a sunset? Creating? Crying? Dying?
All these moments, pulled up into the sky by the heat of the Sun, & coming down upon you. When you stop to think about it, where this water used to be, what it's witnessed...thinking about it as it falls on your skin gently, it expands your mind into a different plane where for one moment, when you're no longer cold & shocked by the sudden barrage of water, you think of things you've never let cross your mind before. You think about yourself, others, how the World is. Sometimes it makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt for hours, other times...my tears run down my cheeks & mingle with the rest of the droplets. They will soon be dryed back into the atmosphere to drift & fall somewhere else on this Planet.
The thought of rain, being toxic...it makes me shudder. The things we humans have done...to taint the simplest of things. It's disgusting, but it's our Nature. Destroying beauty, harming without knowing...or knowing & harming anyway. It hurts me to think that once rain was pure, clean, nothing filthy...nothing dirty. Just water, nothing more. Now it's filled with chemicals & whatnot. Run off. Sickening.
If only I could have been alive when rain was rain. When pollution wasn't scourging everything...
to let fresh rain touch me...back then though, no one knew of pollutants, everything was simple. I wish it was all simple now. Living, breathing, eating, mating, surviving in a less "intense" time.
How I wish sometimes that technology wasn't what it is, that we were still stupid, naive beings. Only worried about how we were going to make it to the next morning, where the herds are running, where herbs grow, when Og is going to discover fire.
I hate our dependancy on making things simple. They *were* simple once...very long ago. Now they are too complicated & have to be controlled by Corporations, Conglomorates, Machines.
What is humanity doing to itself? Why must we demand bigger, better, faster? Why cant we be content to just look outside & see the trees & birds, to smell clean air, to be what we were made to be?
Have we really only gotten dumber in our quest to become smarter? What would all this..."this" get us in the end? We've learned many a time that perhaps advance wasn't such a good idea after all. Hindsight is 20/20 is it not? Where is that fabled "Man from the Future" who will travel back to warn us of our own destruction, what we are driving ourselves to? Nothing can stop what we are doing now, like a runaway train with our Espresso Machines & DVD's, sitting on our asses getting slower, fatter, stupider, dependant.
Can anyone else see this? Anyone at all? Why do we allow such foolishness to come to pass?!
You'd think one look at an oil covered Seal Pup, breathing in it's last breath, would be evidence enough that we are out of control. You'd think seeing photos of Hiroshimas people running around in flames, dying, rotting away...would be a sign that we've unleashed our own horrors & we are soon to pay the price.
Why must we all think we are that invincible, that what we break, can always be repaired? Sometimes, you just can not fix things. Do none of us remember this?
Cancers, Athsma, AIDS, ect...would they have ever gotten this bad...this...common had our ancestors chosen a different path?
All this I get from rain. Someone put me in my padded room please.
Current mood: 
enthralled
Current music: Union 13 - A Life's Story