2:39PM - Je le pense m'aime vraiment....
So, London took me out last night. We ran around Target some more. Hahaaa Target...
Then he took me to a couple of spots along the river that goes through Camas...wtf is that river, I forgot. Anyways, we went out there to hang out on the beach & look at Mars. I can't say this particular astral event was very thrilling to see, I mean sure, it's only once in 60,000 years & it's a significant astrological thingie. But *so* unentertaining. Anywhoo, we waded around in the water, & curled up together on the sand. It was nice.
Then we went back to his place to watch The Gangs of New York & hang out.
He's so sweet to me...he runs his fingers along my skin & kisses me everywhere. His reactions to my reactions are so um, cute. Hehe...
I'm just so, I dont know, wary I guess. I've been through SO much crap lately & I dont want to go through any more, for as long as I live preferably...but it's kind of unavoidable. *shrug*
I think...I just need some time to think things over. I really like London, he's such a big goofy dweeb. Hehe, he makes me smile. I just need a little time to gather myself back up.
It's so scary thinking that I'd let someone hold so much power over me again, that I'm even thinking about it.
It makes me shudder in thoughts of the "what if's" & the "he mights..." They drive me insane, but, something about him. I dont know...it's confounding really it is.
He said I made him...content. He doesn't push it any farther than I am willing to let it go. It's weird, he doesn't make me feel pressured or anything, like the others. Like I know, he'll let me take my time in figuring things out. He'll be there for me when I finally get around to pulling my soul back together. What little is left of it...
Craziness.
Anyways, I feel like SHIT & Dad put a fucking TIMER on the computer. It's going to log me out on 10 minutes, so I should get going...maybe curl up on the couch & hate my being female for awhile. God I hope this is over soon...
crappy
high