10:15PM - No Ma'am...it should NOT be green.
So, I fixed my hair, finally. I was going for dark brown, but ended up with black. Good thing this is semi-permanent.
I spent last night at Amanda's place. We got fucking LOADED! It was fun. Then today, we had a Kid Movie-thon. We watched The Black Cauldron, Frankenweenie, & The Nightmare Before Christmas. It was origianlly supposed to be "Disney Day" but you know...stupid hippygoth stoners with bad attention spans & jukebox brains...
So yeah, I'm gonna call Nick & London tomorrow & try to schedule in some time with both of them.
I so missed Nick...even if he is turning into a big ol redneck. Hehe...
Yeah, we were quite the thing at school for awhile. People didn't drag me away if I wasn't with Nick because they knew I was waiting for him & whatnot. If I was by myself they'd always ask where he was. "Hey Liz, where's your little manservant with the fishing pole?" Hah...he's so cute. He'd wait for me after class like, outside the buildings & he'd pick me flowers...it was nice, having someone, um...care about ME for a change. Instead of me giving everything for them & not getting anything back.
I wish I had my webcam...I need a concensus on whether or not I look like shit.
Racheeeeellll....you should caaaaaaaaaaall me!!!! Because I miiiiisssssssssss you & I owe you WeEeEeEeEeEeD!!!!!
*lix*
Current mood: 
high
Current music: Smashing Pumpkins - Jellybelly
11:47PM - My Cranium exploded...
Ok. So, lets make a comparison of how my life IS, and how it was. I'm interested to see how much has changed. If at all.
Currently: I am not working. I live at home, with my Dad. I am trapped in a whirling vortex of indecision, not my own, but someone elses. Ever pondering the bit of truth that may lie in those godforsaken fairy tales & whatnot.
Was: I WAS working. I was living at Angela's. I was trapped in a whirling vortex of someone else's indecision & dragged to an all time low for it.
Hm. The only thing that has changed is my locale. How interesting.
And now, I make an inference...after examining & processing this data.
The true key behind all my current & past "issues" is other people feeding me thier bullshit & trying to play off as someone who's someone they aren't.
So, if all the drama queens & stupid fucks would kindly get thier heads out of thier asses & leave me alone...it would be much appreciated.
You know, if people would just get thier shit together ( I know I shouldn't be talking about this... ) then maybe...people could have functioning relationships with humanity. But people do not try. Oh lord no. They hold themselves down & allow themselves to gag on thier own problems...hoping someone will eventually come along & sit them upright. Where, simply...all they have to do is roll over.
But no, they cant DO that. They have to lie there, gurgle, whine, complain & just be moronic...instead of doing what should have been done ohh I dont know...when the problem first arose. Then they let the problem get worse, smothering themselves in thier own detrius...still waiting for someone to help.
Quite frankly, I find that...a bunch of emo kid BULLSHIT. Jesus fucking christ, just DO it. Prolonging things helps everyone...HOW again? Someone please tell me how putting things off forever & a week makes the problem better, because I seem to have forgotten.
Or is it just much more enjoyable to suffer for nothing? Maybe all my suffering for *something* has made me a different human all together.
No one really hopes for anything anymore. They just kind of...get the end result, roll over, & accept it. No one...does anything when they dont like a situation. They just let it, stagnate. They dont set goals, they dont lay down the law, they just dont do SHIT. Then they wonder why things are so shitty. The don't dare look up at the sky because they are too busy keeping the ground in sight. Why look up, when looking down is so much easier? Why try to change things, when it's less work...to hold true to old ways & outdated emotions? Why let yourself soar & be you...when you can simply just allow yourself to be chained & smothered by others?
Yeah. You people make a whole lot of fucking sense. I for one...refuse to play this little game anymore.
Someone has to stand up for themselves as a being, deserving & capable of giving & recieving emotions...responses, & using them in the correct matter. Instead of fear & closing down. Screw that. You guys can have fun being little lemmings. Fear what they tell you to fear, be who they want you to be. Stifle yourself for everyone else. Don't exist, belong.
Be human. I DARE you to.
Current mood: 
contemplative
Current music: um...some band?