oOo Miss Jaded Kittie oOo's Day

3:13AM - bored. Random quizzes I took.

:: how nintendo are you? ::

You're a stoner!!

You love to load a bowl of that wacky tobaccy and
just kick it. You're an advocate for all
things natural and love to show your pro-hemp
pride! Legalize it!!


**What's Your Drug Stereotype?**
brought to you by Quizilla

I am Spike. It's all about my friends. I'd jump through hoops and climb mountains to help out a friend in need. If that friend happens to be of the opposite sex, all the better. People or things that try to prevent me from my goals are in for a rude awakening too, because I'm a lot tougher than I look. I know this because Molly told me so. What Video Game Character Are You?

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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^^^I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ASSHOLES THIS FOR YEARS!!!^^^

Tomboy


What's your sexual appeal?
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Threat rating: extremely low. You may think you can
subvert the government, but if you should try
you will be smited mightily because God likes
us best.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

your fuck.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I fuckin knew it. FUCK! I'm a fucking genius.

Nihilist Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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well duh. I could have told me this...


The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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FLAT


(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
cursed, even as an anime bitch. *sigh*


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Lamentations.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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I'm so goth...hahahaha!


You're A Bishoujo (Attractive Young Woman)!
You are loved by all, and you know it. You love
the attention you get, because or your sense of
style, and perfect face. Congrats.


What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I rocked that quiz.


Angry Goth


What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
that's fucking right asswart fuckers. SHITDAMNHELLASSCRAP! *smash*


You kill and eat little children, and probably
molest their corpses.

You're not trying
hard enough, though, because there's still
plenty of assholes in the world! You might go
to Heaven if you can thin the herd a bit. The
Lord hates fuckers hanging around and messing
up His Creation, after all. HOP TO
IT.

Sicko.


Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are a LAID-BACK VIRGIN.


What Kind of Virgin Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
nifty. Gimme penis.


Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!


What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla


You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla
more to come. I'm sleepy.

4:44PM - *lament & junk*

sometimes I dont know what to do with myself. I feel torn in several different directions. Option A, Option B, ect...where do I go? How do I handle this. Choices are hard.
I wonder what would happen if I just said screw it & took no one's advice on how to handle these issues I'm having. Would I be happy with my sense of false hope & contentment? Would I be better off denying the fact that I enjoy what has happened? Or should I come to terms with it & let this ball of rage over being a tool grow into something horrible? Can I forgive? Have I? Why do I still think about him all the time? Why do I want him to think of me. This is so retarded.
I know it shouldn't be a problem. I've been able to be callous & cold in the past, so why is it such an issue now?
I dont want to be a bitch about this, but I cant help but do anything else. How can being used be forgotton & forgiven? I'm not exactly sure.
Sure, I can PRETEND like it doesn't feel like everything is crashing down & I feel so hollow. Anyone can plaster a fake smile & go on with thier day. Crying in private about something so foolish & pointless is do-able, but I dont WANT to cry over this. It's understandable because I was lied to & hurt badly, but still, there are other things I could be more upset over. So why this?
For some reason it's impossible for me to fathom. My logics system has no place here, because it is an illogical situation. *sigh* Sometimes I wish I could be ignorant & people would LET me be ignorant. I could have been perfectly happy in a fool's daze. But the illusion has been shattered & I understand that what was done is wrong & my reaction to people who have done something like this to me is complete & utter loathing.
Still I try to be nice, I try to smile, I try not to care. Inside I feel dirty, rotting...worthless.
It's a burden to feel this way. I've walked this path so many times & they wonder why I'm so cruel & closed off.
This is all fun & games to everyone else, but I feel like my soul is slipping away because I've put it through so much pointless pain & torture when all I'm really trying to do, is find someone to be happy with. Why is that a problem? Another thing I cannot understand. Why is it so difficult to find happiness? Shouldn't it be a right to be happy? Why cant everyone be happy & chill & not spread thier vehemance like some kind of sick mental plague?
Humanity has gone awry. People have lost thier way, forgotten how to enjoy being, and they force everyone else to forget as well.
The trees outside, are so, brilliant. They make me want to go lay outside in the sun & just forget everything for awhile. Sadly my mind never shuts up & I think & think & think things to death. I dwell, I ponder, I look for solutions, but possibilities only lead to more questions. Such a horrid circle this is. I feel like screaming, crying, hitting something, falling apart, dissapearing into the wild. Just leaving, not telling anyone where I am, or if I am coming back. I just want to leave all this mess behind. I wish with all my heart that I could.
There has to be something better than this...there just has to be. So where is it? Who knows? No one. No one is happy anywhere. We all have our problems, our lamentations, there is no escape from being this way really. Pain is unavoidable. There is no right way to go about living, as life itself is constantly evolving into something else, something new, and then reverting.
I wish I was a simple animal. Concerned only with living. Not with others, not with...anything but being alive. That would be coolness.