5:06PM - Whumpbadumlydoobeedoo
So I'm home again. Yay! Never thought I'd say that...
Dad got a new mouse, so I'm trying to figure out exactly how the HELL to work the rollerball, the scroll button, and the left & right ones at the same time. Let me tell you, my right hand does NOT enjoy multi-tasking.
I'm re-reading Memoirs of a Geisha AGAIN! This is like the 15th time I've read it...
But anyways, I love it, because I can identify with it in a few ways. I know how it is to want someone so bad, and dream of them, all the time, but not be able to be with them...because it's a shitty idea in general. I ignored everything else pretty much, in hopes that I might have a chance. Now that I know the only chance I can have with him is to be his hunk of meat to use whenever he feels like he wants to, I just, I dont know what to do. But the funny thing is...now that I'm no longer seeing him as a possible partner, I'm seeing all these stupid little things about him, that I've never noticed before. So I'm GLAD it never happened. Because it would have ended up just like all my previous attempts.
The really stupid thing is, he still acts like I'm his property & gets all mad when I hang out with other guys, or when I talk aout other guys, or when my attention is focused on someone elses penis. That is so motherfucking retarded.
I think he just LIKES fucking with my emotions & making me feel like shit all the time. Sado-masochistic motherfucker. But it's ok. Guys are dumb. No big whoopty.
I'm trying to set something up with Duane, because he rox me, but we're both kind of at an impass. I dont want to ride the bus out there, he doesn't want to drive out where I am. I work, he works. We're stuck. It's lame because I want to wad myself up in a ball in his lap & cry until my tear ducts rip themselves out & run away screaming & threatening to call the Tear Duct Worker's Union or somethin. They would too...
Yeah so, I think the boys are trying to get out & go to the store without me, so I better get going, because I'm out of toothpaste, toner, eyebrow pencil, sanity...ect.
*Elizabeth*
exanimate