oOo Miss Jaded Kittie oOo's Journal

12:40PM - ¡Los dentistas son MAL de mierda puro!!!

What is it with me & crazy ass dreams?! If it's not some psychopathic blonde doll weilding scissors & saying, "I'm going to destroy you all"...it's me in some fucked up Youth Hostel run by some Nazi lady who looks oddly like my old babysitter Debbie. Although, I looked pretty damned stylin in my dreams last night.
I was wearing a grey dress with Madonna style ruffles, blue tights, & some sweet knee high boots. Punk rockin it in my sleep.
I remember, I went to this Hostel for some reaons or another & hooked up ( not literally ) with this group of guys who wanted to overthrow the place because the lady who was running it, wasn't running it right. No one was getting fed, we all slept in this freezing cold room, & she was just out & out cruel for no reason.
So it was Christmas & me & the guys were all in an uproar because she took us to the Store & bought the kids she liked food ( very little ) & she didn't give us anything. So, I managed to escape, by saying I was going to take out the trash...& I was going to help my friends out but she seperated everyone & put them all in different rooms with locked windows so I couldn't get in.
When I looked in one window to try & get one of the guys out ( it was whatshisface from the White Stripes ) he was dead & I knew if I could get in, I could bring him back to life...but the locks on the window wouldn't break, even when I was smashing them with my string of Christmas lights ( yeah weird... )
So I started crying my eyes out because I was all in love with this guy & I couldn't rescue him & if I didn't rescue him, we could never get married & have kids. There was also this weird little dog. I dont remember where it come from, I think it was MY dog though & she let me keep it there.
I also had another dream where my friends & I were running around in a Mall & I was trying to get a job at this one really awesome store like Hot Topics, but different. They had all this awesome stuff in there. Really yummy smelling incense & all these cool sculptures. When I asked the really fine guy at the counter if I could get a job he said Oh yeaaaah just a second & I'll get you your uniform & then he just dissapeared & never came back & I was stuck running the store all by myself & I was pissed as hell so I just grabbed everything I wanted from the Store & bolted. Ha yeah. Sweet revenge...What was really cool though is the guy let my friend & I do a ritual in the store. He had everything we needed so we just lit some incense & got down to buisness.
I cant remember what spells we were casting. I wish I could remember because that's probably my subconcious telling me whats next on my casting regimen.
Meh.
Anyways, my stupid bitch ass chickedhead Dentist decided to go on Vacation this week, therefore canceling my appointment that should have been taken care of LAST month, but he decided to not do jack shit at that appointment cept schedule me a new one. NOW HE CANCELED THIS ONE & I'M FUCKING SICK OF GETTING THE RUNAROUND FROM THAT STUPID SONOFABITCH! DR. CLAYTON SCARZELLA IS A FUCKING SHITHEAD & SHOULD HAVE HIS LICENSE REVOKED BECAUSE HE'S A CHARLETON & A FOOOOOOOOL!!!!! Fuck. I could have hung out with Mike again...or London...or went out & tore up the town last night but NoOoOo I had to pass all that up because I thought I had a Dentist appointment. FUCK! Bastards. Nazi Whores. I hate them all.
Oh well though, I guess I better wake the fuck up & start cleaning the house. I'm doing one room a day. Today is...THE KITCHEN NoOoOoOo horrors!!!!! Plus I'm doing my laundry. Shit. I hate housework. You know, my Dad & Aaron could at least TRY to pick up after themselves instead of leaving me big piles of thier shit to pick up. It's bullshit. They have NO excuse to be so fucking sloppy. I make an attempt to pick up after myself. I would be totally more willing to clean if they put in thier part. I mean my Dad, just leaves his magazines, books, & bills in giant piles all over the kitchen counter. Aaron just leaves debris everywhere & I'm getting sick & fucking tired of it. It's BULLSHIT!
Anyone need a roomate?!
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

1:16PM - attraverso questo mondo ho vagato, tante volte hanno denunciato...

Oh so, I had Mia hunt down that guy ( Mike ) that gave me a backrub at the party. Heh, he called me *blush* we talked for an hour at least. He wants to hang out tonight, watch some movies...he's 27. *ponder* Meh.
So I'm going to spend most of today cleaning the house, I promised Dad I'd clean his bathroom *gag* & the house NEEDS to be vaccumned & whatnot. The kitchen is pure unadulterated filth!!!! Godfuckingdamn, these boys need to figure out how to clean up after themselves. I am *not* thier Mother!!!!!
My tatt is all gross & scabby now. Bleh. It's really sore too...it hurt to wash it last night I was sitting in the tub rubbing it as nice as I could going, "Ow...ow....owowowowowowOW!"
Everyone wants to see it though, thier little girl, all grown up & barfing up money to get marked up. Yeah...happy shit.
To Emo ( if you ever read this )
DO your feet hurt, when you fell from heaven, cos you've been running through my mind all day! Pleeeeaaase come back so I can talk to you *sniffle*
So yes I'm a stupid arsehead & I talked to Chris the other night & I was consumned with total & utter sadness...Rach is right, I *should* totally remove him from my life, but my own stubborn-ness wont let me. Feck. Knowing me I'd totally forgive everything & anything & let him do his little happy dance on my heart again. Party Boy style.
London hasn't called me...um...why? Dont know?! AUGH! Makin me kinda upset cuz I wanted him to come to that party with me. Gronk. Gronk indeed.
Stupid Sex Pistols CD...is everyone elses copy so quiet & muted? They really should reformat it. Cos, you can't fully rock out to the Sex Pistols when the sound quality ( and I use that term lightly ) is so uh shitty.
Woo speakers makin my coffee vibrate!
Anyways, Kelly gave me her pipe ( I love you! ) & I scraped it. Holy shit, the abundance of resin...I got good & stoned for oh about an hour & then I got the massive resin headache. It sucked. So I soaked in the tubby. It's been awhile since I just layed back & relaxed in the tub. My shoulders hurt so bad though, really bad. Like my left one, I can barely turn it. I owe that to sleeping on Kelly's futon. Killer...futon...
Maybe I can talk Mike into giving me another massage. Jesus, he's the first guy who's offered me one since I last hung out with Travis. So nice...
Mia said Mike was a good guy, he seems like it from what he's told me. He's a big music/movie fan...I like that. Since all I really do is lounge around & listen to music or watch movies. Mwahh nerd-dom.
I should probably get though, lots & lots of work to do that I dont WANT to do but I have to anyways if I want to keep from getting screamed at for being a lazy sod. Now THAT is a run on sentence!!!!
...:;~*ElizabetH*~

10:16PM - Lavisi sopra me come pioggia, prendalo dalla tempesta, anneghi la mia avversione...

Sitting here, listening to the rain drum against the skylights, the windows. I want to run outside & lay down in the wet grass & let the rain splash against my skin. Sweet spikes of cold pleasure washing over me. The shock your skin feels as each drop falls onto it, I want to relish it, feel it all over me.
Thunder booms in the distance & I think of how things are, how they have been, how they might go...and yet I still want to be washed away, down to the Sea, never to be seen again. Drifting in the waters into forever...
Have you ever layed out in the rain? It's like...connection somehow, to me. The way it feels...so, good. So...bad. It's like everything...all the moisture gathering together from God knows where, condensing, falling, covering you. Water from a thousand lakes, rivers, gulleys, puddles. Water that's been run through by children, animals...bathed in by birds in the sunlight, singing thier songs.
Who stood by said lakes, what were they thinking, did they make a wish? Did they kiss someone? Were they daydreaming to the silent beauty of a sunset? Creating? Crying? Dying?
All these moments, pulled up into the sky by the heat of the Sun, & coming down upon you. When you stop to think about it, where this water used to be, what it's witnessed...thinking about it as it falls on your skin gently, it expands your mind into a different plane where for one moment, when you're no longer cold & shocked by the sudden barrage of water, you think of things you've never let cross your mind before. You think about yourself, others, how the World is. Sometimes it makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt for hours, other times...my tears run down my cheeks & mingle with the rest of the droplets. They will soon be dryed back into the atmosphere to drift & fall somewhere else on this Planet.
The thought of rain, being toxic...it makes me shudder. The things we humans have done...to taint the simplest of things. It's disgusting, but it's our Nature. Destroying beauty, harming without knowing...or knowing & harming anyway. It hurts me to think that once rain was pure, clean, nothing filthy...nothing dirty. Just water, nothing more. Now it's filled with chemicals & whatnot. Run off. Sickening.
If only I could have been alive when rain was rain. When pollution wasn't scourging everything...
to let fresh rain touch me...back then though, no one knew of pollutants, everything was simple. I wish it was all simple now. Living, breathing, eating, mating, surviving in a less "intense" time.
How I wish sometimes that technology wasn't what it is, that we were still stupid, naive beings. Only worried about how we were going to make it to the next morning, where the herds are running, where herbs grow, when Og is going to discover fire.
I hate our dependancy on making things simple. They *were* simple once...very long ago. Now they are too complicated & have to be controlled by Corporations, Conglomorates, Machines.
What is humanity doing to itself? Why must we demand bigger, better, faster? Why cant we be content to just look outside & see the trees & birds, to smell clean air, to be what we were made to be?
Have we really only gotten dumber in our quest to become smarter? What would all this..."this" get us in the end? We've learned many a time that perhaps advance wasn't such a good idea after all. Hindsight is 20/20 is it not? Where is that fabled "Man from the Future" who will travel back to warn us of our own destruction, what we are driving ourselves to? Nothing can stop what we are doing now, like a runaway train with our Espresso Machines & DVD's, sitting on our asses getting slower, fatter, stupider, dependant.
Can anyone else see this? Anyone at all? Why do we allow such foolishness to come to pass?!
You'd think one look at an oil covered Seal Pup, breathing in it's last breath, would be evidence enough that we are out of control. You'd think seeing photos of Hiroshimas people running around in flames, dying, rotting away...would be a sign that we've unleashed our own horrors & we are soon to pay the price.
Why must we all think we are that invincible, that what we break, can always be repaired? Sometimes, you just can not fix things. Do none of us remember this?
Cancers, Athsma, AIDS, ect...would they have ever gotten this bad...this...common had our ancestors chosen a different path?
All this I get from rain. Someone put me in my padded room please.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

12:54PM - ...

oh my GOD MY HEAD!!!!!!!! Sweet Jesus! It hurts...
SoOoOoOo hungover....
Twas worth it though. Last night was fuckin cool. I had a *really* hot guy rubbing lotion on my tatt mwahaha he was *so* cute!
The people at that party are a hell of a whole lot better than the *others* they were all really nice & there wasn't a giant orgy of fat sluts on the floor. Sorry but, Yahoo parties, are fucking gross. Please, ya'll STOP BREEDING! Dont' call them GT's call them, "Fat balding old men feeling up really trashed fat young girls because that is the only time that any of you will find any of you remotely attractive Parties"
...ANYWAYS yeah, no one at this party *cough* cept Me, Kelly, & Sonya got all T&A on everyone. Hehe...yeah. I actually showed my boobs at a party. Oh, ya'll missed it. Dont think I'm gonna do it again, it's just...wehn really fine guys ask to see your tits, then ask repeatedly afterwards while saying that they are really fucking cute tits, well...they tend to just fall out of my shirt on thier own accord.
Oh yes, and I sat in a puddle of spilled coke & soaked the arse of me pants. So the second half of the night was me walking around in some garish plaid shirt, with my hoodie around my waist. DON'T ask, why I didn't tie the plaid thing around my waist & just continue wearing the hoodie. Please dont.
I also had Peach Shnappes ejected all over my pants leg & guys would keep hugging me & touchin my tatt, so I'm covered in alcohol & writhing in pain. It was a good party.
I need coffee so bad...
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

1:58PM - Mein Körper wird jetzt, wie mein Verstand geschrammt. Würden Sie jedoch dieses wünschen?

Heehee...I'm so hardcore. Yay! I love love love my tattooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
Kelly wants me to come with her to a party tonight, I should go. Yes...show it off. *steeples her fingers*
It's so sore though, and I'm keeping it covered so my Dad doesn't do something like slap it, & yell at me. He would...he thinks tatts & whatnot are a total waste of money, but I dont care, because *I* happen to adore my pretty tattoo & now that it's there, he can't do shit about it.
So, everyone go see Jeremy at Vertigo in Vancrapper. Make sure to tell him Elizabeth said he's badass.
I'm sure Kelly & I traumatized him with the tales of our fucked up family members...
Heh, man, Kelly made me just about piss my pants last night whilst we played a good game of Scrabble ( trying to avoid Chuck's stupid Brother & his crone ) HAHAHA "GAZOO" *snort* oh shit that was so funny. Sorry Kelly...but it was.
So the plan for today is, talk Dad into getting me s'more hair dye while deftly dodging the fact that I only have like $5 left from the $120 he gave me last night. Shouldn't be *too* hard, I'll just make some shit up & if he asks, shit I'll show him, but not until AFTER I get dye. Lord knows I'm not going to a party with my roots showing, there might be hot guys, who dont like girls who have the gall to come to a party with thier roots showing. Nyah I sound so shallow.
I showed Aaron my pretty new addition this morning. Made him put antibiotic ointment on it...gah it feels horrid! All like sunburny & itchy...plus the shirt rubbing against it is really feckin irritating. Musn't...scratch...
I was originally supposed to go out & get it done in Beaverton with Faith ( dollface ) & maybe Yakup, but, when I tried to call Faith, there was no answer. THEN I couldn't find Yakup's number, so I started freaking the fuck out wondering if I should actually go out to Beaverton & see if Faith would be at the MAX stop or not. But, since I couldn't get ahold of her...I didn't know what to do. I figured she'd think if I didn't call that the whole tatt thing was off & she'd just go home. So, if she was there, I should proly apologize. I feel bad *sigh* I'm horrid.
Steaks & baked potatoes for dinner tonight! Yay! MmMm Dad the BBQ king strikes again!
Anywhoo...I'm gonna go slather some lotion on myself & be all proud & junk that I actually had the balls to sit there & let someone jam needles into my skin for an hour & a half.
GAZOOOOOOO
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

10:48PM - HAHAHAHA NOW I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!!

*dance* I got a muhfuckin tattoo! What! I rock! It's so badass. You will fall to the ground & worship my coolness now because I am permanently scarred! SCARRED! PERMANENTLY! FUCK!
It's so sexy. Goddamn. SEXY!
Pics will come soon, for those of you who are worthy. Feel free to start kissing my ass now.

GRONK!
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

12:12PM - anche se li odio così tanto, ti amo alla morte, virgo stupid

Shawn called me today. YAY! I miss Shawn & his neverending pearls of stuff that he says that makes sense sometimes.
I also threw myself into a tizzy last night, got hysterical, wondered where I could get enough sleeping pills to make it permanant. Silly me...wondered about it for oh I dont know, at least an hour.
Just a thought, please no one panick. Thanks.
I get moneys today...sweet delicious money. I'm pondering a tatt. But, I only get $100. Unless I clean the fuck out of the house in hopes that Dad will give me my allowance as well, so I can at least get a dub sack. It's kind of sad how I cancel all this cool shit out so I can buy weed. Hrm, bit of an addict? Hehe
Someone would have to come with me though...I'm so skeered of needles & it would really help if I was so stoned that I didn't care. Maybe I could go back out to Don's & get another one of those nifty pills that his roomie gave me. Oh yes, like Paxil, only stronger.
I dont remember what they were called, but I took the pill before I was supposed to go to Grandma & Grandpa's place to pick up my yearly "love us" bribe. I managed to go through all of his speeches without getting really pissed off, or snapping back at him. I'm wondering if Dad noticed that...I didn't even freak out on the way home & smoke a pack of cigs like I usually do. Hm, maybe I should get the name & talk to a Doctor about that...not mention Don's roomy or anything, just say I flipped out & someone gave me one & it really helped alot in a very stressful sitchyaytion...yeah *ponder* maybe I should...
*sigh* My Dentist appointment is creeping up on me slowly...I dont WANNA GO!
Fuck...Chris came into the same chat room I was in last night & just...lurked. It freaked me the fuck out. I wanted to make a ton of snide ass comments about him but I didn't. Maybe I should have.
Wait, eh who the fuck cares anymore. He's a lousy worthless shithead anyways. Gonna purge my brain one of these days so I dont give a shit anymore. I really shouldn't.
Like last night, I freaked out because...I realized that maybe I'm in love with someone, who never even had the slightest inclination...someone who I was head over heels with, who only used me & fooled me...like all the rest. Now he's hurting & I want to laugh at him, but I CAN'T...I just can't, because I think I love him & he wont ever love me back, or see me as anything more than a hole in the wall. It sucks. No it aint Chris either. It's someone else.
I wrote like 3 pages about this last night in my Mental Meanderings book, tear stained pages. Fuck, I hate you for never loving me. I hate you for loving her instead, now you're in so much pain & I fucking love you stupid assface. I wish you'd just die. I wish I had never met you.
Je serais celui, pour vous maintenir, vous embrasse ainsi dur, je prendrai votre souffle parti, et après que j'essuie loin les larmes, ferme juste vos yeux...
Fuck, I fucking love you you stupid son of a bitch & you wont ever love me back. I still think about you all the time, I still get teary over chocolate brownie ice cream, I still read your blog, I think about all the bullshit & the hurt you put me through & I *still* want you. Fuck, fuck you. I could scream it a million times to the stars that I hate you & you raked the very bottom of my soul & made me hollow.
You, you did this to me & made me love you.
Grarr!!!!
I dont ever want to dance this dance again. I dont want to be anywhere anymore. I am nothing to everyone & I hate it so much...the one person I still get sick over...wont ever feel the same for me. You'd be settling to accept my love & you shouldn't do that. Ever. If you ever touch me again I'll rip your hands off because I know you wont mean it. Just...stay away from me. You never cared that you hurt me, ever. You fooled me & went on your way without a word of regret. No apology. You stupid bastard. But you care that you hurt her. Not me, you never cared that you made me cry & hate & hurt & bleed...you never cared. Sucka fool...I'd slash your throat, but I dont think I could live with myself after that. I'm sorry...so sorry.
I hate you, I love you, I wish you would have never met me...I wish I had never let you touch me, I wish you would touch me again. You confound me. Goddamnit.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

8:30PM - Niente molto di interesse è accaduto, in modo da doodled tutto il giorno.

So London came over today. We hung out & watched Old School. Dad came home, we ate. New hot waiter at Sharis by the way. Other than that, jack shit happened. SO here's s'more fun artsy fartsy soul leakage for you. JOY!
( Read more... )
Yes, today was a very apathy-ish sort of day. Not to mention hot. Twas very hot...
That is all.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

8:44PM

I scored 51% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

I'm dirty!

8:04PM - Cirer Pothead Poétique

Today friends, we gather in rememberance of "Peep", "Mini", "Sneaker", "Baby", or as most of us knew it...My First Pipe.
Pipe & I first crossed paths with each other, a Summer night, at The Crystal Ballroom. Pipe was introduced to me by a very adorable young boy, who was willing to share Pipe with me. Pipe touched my lips many times that night, as Boy & I danced, moshed, smoked, & laughed.
At the end of the show, Boy approached me & gave me Pipe, & said "He was quitting, dont need it anymore." I hugged boy, & clasped Pipe tightly in my hand.
This concert, that miraculous night in which Pipe & I joined, was 2 years ago. However, sadly...as of 7:30pm tonight O my Brothers & Sisters, Pipe left this plane of being, broken beyond all repair.
Many people have known Pipe. Pipe has touched many lives, lips, & lungs, & brought them all joy & stony-ness.
Though Pipe was small, Pipe was significant. Everyone loved Pipe & I'm sure Pipe loved them all much more.
I can remember that once, Pipe was all I had. Sitting in my room, at 3am, quietly packing Pipe to the scent of Nag Champa with the radio turned up loud enough to block out the sound of my lighter working away.
Then I recall simply staring at Pipe, once so clear, now so colored. Pipe had changed, but only for the better. Pipe was vibrant, colorful...Marie & I sitting together in a baked haze, trying to point out where the colors had changed, or where new ones had popped up over the last smoking session.
The end of Pipe, signifies the end of my Childhood. How appropriate that Pipe should break after my 20th Birthday. No longer a teenager...no longer with my teenage crutch.
It was Pipe's time to go, although we all wish it wasn't. Things must happen this way in order for life to go on.
But Pipe would not want us to give up simply for the loss. No, Pipe would want us to keep green & glad.
And so Pipe, I raise this last bowl of your resin, collected over the years, & light to your good graces that you have bestowed upon so many people.
Pipe, you will always be remembered & sorely missed.
Le Vert aux Cendres
et à la Résine à épousseter
A Béni Soit
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

1:57PM - WOOFUCKINWHOOOOO

Today is Aaron's first day of school. Fucking sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetuh! I woke up & stumbled to the bathroom in my underwear & then wandered around the house semi naked. I LOVE it when he's in school. Oh yes...the nakedness that ensues.
Anyways...London wants me to meet all his friends. *sigh* I want to yeah, I really like London...but goddamn I make an asshole out of myself when I'm in a large crowd of people I dont know. Stupid lousy goddamn social ineptness.
When I went over to Don's house, I got that same tounge tied brain fart syndrome that I got when I went to Mitchies the first time. Where I made little to no sense & acted like an asshole the entire time. Something about really really hot guys makes me go durrrrrrrrr................
I came up here with thoughts of writing something deep & meaningful but I got a comment about Emo in the previous post & it like...I dunno threw me all off track.

Yes, I miss Emo. Emo is cool. I can't talk to him online anymore because he's not on when I am. I sent him my phone number in an offline. He hasn't used it yet.
Also, when I made a remark to Emo about going on a date, he totally dodged the subject with an incredible amount of grace by doing a dippy dance for me like he usually does.
*SO* due to such actions taken on part of Emo, I can only assume that Emo is not interested.
Emo is not, London is. London spends time with me, Emo does not. London calls me, Emo does not. I can go on & on about this for a while.
Since I am actually now putting into consideration that maybe I *do* want to be London's woman...sometime in the future, Emo has pretty much lost any chance of getting anywhere, since I'm addicted to my big dweeby drama fiend.
Somehow I doubt Emo even cares, mystery person, since he never took me up on any of my offers. Am I correct in thinking so? I dunno. OH FUCKING WELL it happens.
He's not the only person I've passed up for London anyways. Those 2 hot guys at the bus stops, I told them all no, no date, sorry. Along with a few others who I wont mention because they've asked me not to.
I still have Emo's pic hanging on my closet door though. Maybe a testament to my foolishness in thinking that anything would progress past coffee at 3am & late night chats on the computer.

On another note, I *yea* I, walked around Downtown...in a tank top. No hoodie, no sweater, no overshirt. I actually bared my disgusting flabby arms to the public. Shit, I dont even do that at home hardly. So self concious am I. That's how comfy I am around London. I would bare my nasty self to the public for him. *shrug* people stared...hard. I cared, slightly...trying to position myself so my chub was tactfully strected out to create the illusion of being less fat. Shit. I sound like such a loser.
But now that Aaron is in school, no more little children traipsing around the house...I can get up, do an hour on the Nordic Track ( does anyone remember those things?! Yes we have one... ) & dance around for awhile to my bad music. Plus it's cooling off. MmMm no more sweating like a filthy pig.
I went into a chat room last night & got chastised for agreeing with a behemoth about how ugly she said she was. Once again...chat is STILL stupid & people are STILL whiny & expect people to treat them like they are all golden ikon statuettes & worship them accordingly. Something about geeks...*shrug*
It was funny though. She said she was the ugliest person in the room & she had a pic to prove it. So I looked at her pic & yep, damned if she wasn't a big bloated mass of tapioca & ugly. So I said, yep, you sure are...and she gets all bitchy at me. MMppppphhhhttt....called me rude. Yeah I *am* rude. Bite my arse. People are rude, welcome to reality honey. Not everyone is sugar & sunshine.
My hopes of getting hot new boots were dashed into nothings yesterday at Diamond Dogs....I wanted to get a new pair of hot boots but, godfuckingdamn it's pricey there. Fuckin PRICEY! Shit...$83 bux for pink bondage pants. WHAT?!?! Hell...I'm just going to get a second hand sewing machine & start making my own clothes. FUCK stores. Jesus. Communist pigs.
Plus...I always wanted to make my own corset out of neckties. I know that sounds crazy but...I have a sketch of it somewheres & it looks awesome on paper. I mean really who do *you* know that has a corset made out of neckties just out of curiousity? Who? Oh that's right...no one! Why? Because I am nifty. They are not. Or should nifty be exchanged for insane? Mleh. I'm just aimlessly rambling on....trying to avoid having to go downstairs & clean up. Dad would appreciate it though I'm sure. Plus London is coming over tomorrow, I want my room clean. It's a thing I have...if I know people are coming over & my room is a shit hole, I want it clean. Even though everyone knows I'm a slob & my room looks like the city dump vomited in it.
*sigh* I should go...do stuff. Kinda hungry. Really broke. I blew almost $100 yesterday. I'm mad at me.
So yeah, off to clean I goes.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

10:29PM - General madness & whatnot

Woo today was fun! I took London out to breakfast at the Cameo ( I am having such a weird case of deja vus right now... ) Then we ran around Downtown for awhile. I have photographic evidence of the madness. Yes...well, not all of them will be shown. Anywhoo...today was Dad's berfdae. He's all old & crap now. He told me not to tell any of the people at Red Robin it was his Birthday or he'd smite me down in a pile of fisted glory & I'd never go with him to dinner ever again. Needless to say, I kept my damned mouth shut.
So, without further ado...photos. Yay!
( Read more... )
...hoping that this all comes out ok... ( I suck ass at HTML )
MmMm I likes my London. Hehe...
That is all.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

10:04PM - Potrei abitare per sempre in voi...il mio uomo peloso grande della scimmia

So, yeah. It's my birthday. Wee. Thanks to the people who remembered. Twas nice of you.
Went out with London again last night, we went to Cape Horn & I was in awe of how many stars you can see. It was so beautiful. Then we went looking for a party & when we couldn't find one, settled for movies & a grope session. Which I have no problem with...
Long story short, I got some Birthday Love. I should feel better, but strangely I dont. Today...has sucked.
That is all.

For Rachel...

As for the REST of you people with horrid memories...


...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

11:42PM - Enfin la marée rouge a fini. Vous pouvez maintenant sortir vos maisons et aborder votre vie quotidie

Yargh! Yet another day of feeling like ASS! Oh the raging headache I had today. I thought my head was going to explode & shower the streets with it's jiggly, cranial goo.
My Grandpa wants me to come over for my Birthday. I don't *want* to go...people don't understand this! I do not LIKE HIM! I dont care if he's giving me money! I dont want his fucking money. He's going to talk me down, bitch at me, tell me I'm shit like my Mother, & just...degrade me as much as he can. I fucking loooooathe him.
He doesn't know about the lip ring. He's going to fucking flip his wig. Seriously. I can hear him now, "What the hell did you do to your face? It's bad enough already! Jesus...you can't get a good job in a nice place if you have that thing in your mouth. No one will want you, they'll think you're stupid! Who wants a stupid person with a face full of holes working for them?! No one! How are you going to live? When I was 20..." & that shit will go on until I'm running for the car full steam to smoke half a pack of ciggies & try to bribe my Dad to please, for the love of Christ, buy me a beer...
On the *nice* side of things...no more cramps. No more laying in bed gasping for air & praying for a swift death! Sweet Mike I'm free...for another Month anyways.
I have this heinous urge to go over to London's right now. If I do that...then we'll have sex. I know it. Fuck, I'm so horny for that boi. Musn't break morals...must...behave...
O it's so hard *sob* being good sucks ASS, the ass sucking it does. *sigh*
Si seulement je pourrais le laisser tout aller... essai pour forger quelque chose de sain. Soyez je, soyez moi-même, pas soin au sujet de ce qu'ils pensent. Tristement cependant...
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

1:35AM - Meine Gebärmutter ist Shedding, den es Schwamm wie Futter ist. Göttlich!

I hate, this stupid new computer timer. I hate it I hate it, I HATE IT! Ich MÖCHTE AUS ES ZERREISSEN Bin SEELE U. DÄMPFT SCHLUCHT NACH IHR EINGEWEIDE!!!!
London is online, but he's having problems with his computer :( Oh sadness...he better hurry up & fix it because I only have 25 more minutes & then I'm off for the night. This is so verzögert!
I am using German, because I am disgruntled. Rarr. My tummy hurts...I need affections *sob*
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

Oh, before I forget...ugliest...couple...ever. The asshole in MY hat, is my ex. THAT is who he is screwing. He says he's not attracted to me. Uhh...but apparently troll sex is his thing. mwahaha

10:38PM - ICH WERDE SIE SCHLAGEN BIS SIE SCHEISSECLava!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, sprinting on the steppes! It is Jadedkittie, hands clutching a studded crowbar! She roars gutterally: "I'm going to smash you until you shit molton lava!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKS YES! Oh crap, THAT right there folks, sad but true...is the highlight of my day.
O no wait, hot guy from the bus stop called. Heehee he's so hot. Heehee he says I'm fuckin sexy. Heehee FINALLY one crazy enough! Mwahahaha
Excuse me, I'm royally baked again. *snicker* There is a good side to having cramps wrack my poor body until I can't cry anymore because it hurts too bad. I get to smoke a LOT of weed.
So anyways *Micheal* ( hot guy from the bus stop ) said he'd take me out for my Birthday...awwwwuh
...a date, on my Birthday. THE CRAZINESS OF IT ALL!!!! L'ÉTRANGETÉ ABSURDE FINE ME DÉROUTE!!!!
( Different languages makes me look classy & junk )
Anyhow...I'm all like unentertained & junk, so I'm gonna um stare at useless stuff.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

LoL Haha this was added at 1:30am for ye who cares...

Your butt is Alaska: you have to be adventurous to
handle it, and you can't get there by any
ordinary means


What state does your butt resmble?
brought to you by Quizilla
and it's funny, because it's true. Bite me, please?

2:39PM - Je le pense m'aime vraiment....

So, London took me out last night. We ran around Target some more. Hahaaa Target...
Then he took me to a couple of spots along the river that goes through Camas...wtf is that river, I forgot. Anyways, we went out there to hang out on the beach & look at Mars. I can't say this particular astral event was very thrilling to see, I mean sure, it's only once in 60,000 years & it's a significant astrological thingie. But *so* unentertaining. Anywhoo, we waded around in the water, & curled up together on the sand. It was nice.
Then we went back to his place to watch The Gangs of New York & hang out.
He's so sweet to me...he runs his fingers along my skin & kisses me everywhere. His reactions to my reactions are so um, cute. Hehe...
I'm just so, I dont know, wary I guess. I've been through SO much crap lately & I dont want to go through any more, for as long as I live preferably...but it's kind of unavoidable. *shrug*
I think...I just need some time to think things over. I really like London, he's such a big goofy dweeb. Hehe, he makes me smile. I just need a little time to gather myself back up.
It's so scary thinking that I'd let someone hold so much power over me again, that I'm even thinking about it.
It makes me shudder in thoughts of the "what if's" & the "he mights..." They drive me insane, but, something about him. I dont know...it's confounding really it is.
He said I made him...content. He doesn't push it any farther than I am willing to let it go. It's weird, he doesn't make me feel pressured or anything, like the others. Like I know, he'll let me take my time in figuring things out. He'll be there for me when I finally get around to pulling my soul back together. What little is left of it...
Craziness.
Anyways, I feel like SHIT & Dad put a fucking TIMER on the computer. It's going to log me out on 10 minutes, so I should get going...maybe curl up on the couch & hate my being female for awhile. God I hope this is over soon...
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

12:25PM - Meine Mutter ist!! so laut! SIE FÄHRT MICH GEISTESKRANK!!!!

Yeah, today is *teh day* I have half an hour to waste away before I go slop on make-up to please the Corporate Nazis. Mom made another guest appearance...sorry Mom but, NO ONE can top her skill to make every action loud, obnoxious, offensive, & annoying. ( To me anyways ) I've never heard anyone, save for the melodramatics make loud noises when they smoke...erm. *pop**WHUSSHHH* Yargh.
So maybe going to hang out with London again tonight. I wanted to stop in & see Emo since tis his day off & I'm going to be in the general area but eh. I'm not going to invite myself anywhere.
Especially to places where I think I'm not really wanted all that much.
Oh it's so wonderfully cloudy today! Mom got me this yummy red chenille sweater that fits great, makes my tits look bigger & oh so fun to pet. Mwahahaha!
Since I am going to get this job ( no need for the curse of then "if's" & "whens" here ) the first thing I'm getting me is some fuckin weed & red eyeliner. Yes red. Hot fucking red. Ever since Manda let me use some of hers, it's become an obsession. Dressing in black & red, has always been a thing for me, now more than ever though.
My longing to be a total vamp maybe? I dunno. It's hot looking either way.
I want to go finish off that bowl *so* bad, but I really shouldn't. I'd have to take off all my clothes & store them away in the bathroom & I dont feel like doing that. My hair is a frizzy mess today. I put enough pomade on it to smother a small horse.
****ANNOUNCEMENT**** MY BERFDAE IS IN 5 DAYS...GET ME SOMETHING SMOKEABLE OR PRETTY OR I'LL BE UPSET & CRY BITTERLY INTO MY PILLOW!!!!
Anyhow, I'm hiding upstairs so I can avoid my Mother. It's sad but...I dont like seeing her more than neccessary. She fucking makes me insane! Grarrgh!
I think I'll just sit here for another 20 minutes & look at funny porn. Hahaha funny porn! It's what the Internet is good for! Nasty bitches doing nastier things with really gross companions. HAHAHA the ugly.
So yeah

Ci è qualcuno che...
frequenti i miei sogni, tenga i miei sguardi delle mani profondamente nei miei occhi & mi dica del suo amore ma,
sogni, è tutto che abbia in modo da dormo, per lui, per me.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

8:20PM - Mes Imaginations

Who is he? This one who comes to me in my Meditations, my Trances? Incubi? Fae Love? Consort? Delusion of Longing?
He has no name, he has no face. I do not know him but for the feel of him against me, the rush of warm breath in my hair. Floating in the Blue that is between sleep & awareness, he comes to me.
My face is covered in tiny kisses & fingers are run through my hair. He murmers to me in a language I do not know. I feel him staring at me, that tingling...
He sings songs to me, tells me stories, chirping & fawning over me.
I feel him, sometimes at night...not often. Laying next to me, simply breathing me in, lips upon my shoulders, hands entangled in mine. I wonder...if this is just my imagination, if I am going crazy, just collective thoughts stemming from my hopes? Is this some form of what I've conjured in my mind of that which I cannot have? A form of my perfection?
Cest Impossible...
I know nothing of him...what he is...even if it is just a delusion, it's my delusion, such a beautiful thing. I dare not block it out for fear of the unknown, it is too much to let go.
Always, he is holding me when he comes...nothing beyond sweet strokes & soft kisses. My dream, my heart...sometimes my only reason to get out of bed & believe in something.
I have found beauty, simplicity, what is so desperately sought...even if it is in my own imagination.
He only comes around once in a great while, breaking into my thoughts for a few moments. I'd think daily visits would truly drive me mad for the lack of real...
On rare occasions he stays by me all night, I wake often...fearing I'm alone, sometimes he is still there, ready to speak me softly into sleep so velvet & rich.
Mon Impossible, Le Souffle De Mon Âme, Mon Rêve, Ma Mort, Ma Folie...A sweet promise God will never grant.
It rakes me to the core sometimes, makes me wonder about my sanity. But when he comes, I no longer care either way.
My own personal Angel I think...sometimes. I wonder if...I ever find someone, will he come back?
Will the fullfillment in the physical comes along, will I no longer require him?
I think though...I would always require him, he is a piece of my sanity, what little is left. With the lack of emotions that surrounds me, sometimes he is all I have. When I feel so empty, I should float away...he fills me with the feelings I've longed for from others. When I feel there is no more faith to be had, he shows me his soul...it covers me, a shift of warmth...I find myself. Sometimes I think...to please me, he shows a face of the boys I've never been able to attain, Adam most often, his long black hair falling in his pale face.
It's so strange...all the potions & sachets & baths I've made for myself, asking for this in real life, am I asking for the impossible? Am I conjuring this?
Are my meditations to the Fey bringing him to me?
Is there ever any way to truly understand him...so many question pool in my mind & swirl furiously.
I know I should not analyze this...I should only enjoy what has come to me. My blessing, even if I wander the Earth alone, never finding someone, he would always be here for me.
Still I long for someone real...as humans are apt to do.

On a Lighter Note

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Kevin Smith
Who will play your love interest:	LL Cool J
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	8
Song that will play during your love scene:	Eels - Restraining Order Blues
Song that will play during your death:	Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
Your name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Kevin Smith *hearts* LL Cool J PAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What is Your Destiny? by Valcion
Name
Color
Birthday
Destiny	Savior of the human race
Date when you fufill your destiny	September 18, 2006
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

There...for any of you who truly doubted me. NEENER!
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...

2:05PM - DUDE!...man....fuck...lol

Ha I am *so* stoned right now! Dropkick Murphys ROCK when yer all baked & whatnot. Fuckin...G-funk, my dearest whitest nigga homie for reezy brought me a BROWNIE! Goddamn thing was as big as my fist. He called earlier & I was in tears cos yeah...nasty cramps. So he says he has to go & 20 minutes later, he's at my door with a pot brownie & some beer. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW He's such a sweetheart! He came out from Sandy. That's like...far & junk.
Whats up with this...guys being nice to me thing? It's like "woah" One day, I'm like shunned by every guy but the assholes, and the next day BAM! Hey look...bitches EV-UR-EE-where!

OH Mitchaaaaaaaaaaay talked to me last night. He said he missed my czechseyness. LOL punny huh? MmMm Mitchaaaaaay...so...fine....it...hurts...........*pant* oh the hotness....sweet jesus THE HOTNESS!!!!!!
I could go on for hours, really I CAN, I did it at Amanda's I think...or maybe it was at someone elses house, but anyways. Yes I went on about the fineness for a *very* long time & the person who had to listen to me must have been very close to suicide. I'm not like obsessed or nothin Mwahaha
Fuck yeah, I'm so stoned.
ANYWAYS...gonna go um, do stuff.
...:;~*ElizabetH*~;:...