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I Don't Want To Be Alone... [18 May 2006|11:15pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Sam's Song-Dave Melillo <3 ] I want his heart...I want all of him. I'm falling, and I'm not scared. I will not run from these feelings. He's different...♥ post comment

Here We Go...♥ [18 May 2006|04:26pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Dark Blue-Jack's Mannequin ] I Can't Live, I Can't Breathe Unless You Do This With Me I honestly...couldn't be happier. Sflwekrmw. Hmm. *sigh* Lol. It's such a nice day. I basically love it. Lately I just, can't stop smiling or laughing, or being happy. Its insanely wonderful. Me and Chad were talking about me visiting him in PA when he goes to college. Were basically gonna party. Haha. I miss that boy so fucking much. Holy shit, I smell so good. LMAO! Just had to add that. I also miss Brett. Hmm. What is a girl to do without her favorite boys? Oh, and we can't forget Mikeee. Duhhh. I'm pretty much stoked for the weekend. Umm..yea, it should be cool. I get to see my Lovely Lauren. Woot woot. I miss Jess. She was here non-stop for almost 2 weeks and now that shes not, its really weird. Lol. Were like...having withdrawls from each other. So...I'm also stoked for summer. Ohhh man. It's gonna be amazing. Me=turning 16. Holy shit, I am stoked. Lol. Haha. I'm a dorkkkk. K, I think I'm done talking. *smiles* Gahh...I'm just so happy. 1 comment|post comment

For Me, It's Always Been You ♥ [17 May 2006|09:31pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | Hold Nothing Back-Copeland ] Do what you want but I know who you are Say what you want but I know what you're thinking Go where you want but I won't be too far Go where want and I know where you'll end up If you fall in love Fall in love and hold nothing back I'll fall in love Fall in love and hold nothing back from you, oh You oh You oh You That song is fucking adorable, and it makes me smile. Other things have been making me smile a lot too. Hehe. Life is going quite swell actually. Mmm...I'm really happy today, no idea why. Sfklmlfmwe. I get to see Mike next weekend. Holy shit, I'm stoked. Miss that boy. Yayayayay!! Haha. I'm a loser. It's wonderful. Ohhh man. FGWRQWER!!!! I don't have much else to say, besides...I'm happy. :] post comment

Your All By Yourself//And All Messed Up [15 May 2006|07:45pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Permanent-Acceptance. ] Oh, Just Stop Right There I Think That We've Got Something Here Hmm....Life is alright. Boring though. Haven't been up to much. Just hanging out with Jess. So, I can smoke in front of my parents now. It's pretty chill. Haha. So, Lauren said something funny about me and having babies, and kicking them. LMAO. I love herrrrr. Her and Jess are basically my other halves. I'd be so lost without the 2 of them. I mean, I have fun with them seperately, but when were all together, holy shit...the fun is like...tripled. Haha. I'm such a dork. Soo...I decided I don't wanna love anyone for awile. I just want to play the field and see what happens. I mean, if love comes to me, I'm not gonna run from it. But if I do end up in another relationship, I want to take it wicked slow. I dunno anymore. Of course a relationship would be nice, but I just don't think I'm ready for that shit again. Like, after what I went threw with whats-his-face. Hehe. He just made me realize so many things. Like, that I need to be more careful with my heart and who I give it away to. And he especially made me realize that you cannot make someone love you. Haha. Learned that shit the hard way, but it's all good. I feel like I'm changing so much. Like, my attitude and my views on things. Like, before I was so open to love and I wanted it so much, but now, I'm not so sure about it and not really wanting to rush into it. I dunno. Maybe I just feel different. Lol. post comment

I've Made It Quite Obvious... [14 May 2006|02:18am] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Burn This City-Cartel ] K, so...I'm bitter. The end. And yes, it's towards you Berto, but nothing could stop it. It's just part of the process of getting over you. I mean, I AM over you, and have no intention of ever loving you again..but ya know. I'm allowed to be bitter. Hehe. And if you don't like it then...fuck yourself. But if you don't care, then it's all good. hehe. Me & Jess decided that I'm my attitude is the same as hers and I'm being really bitchy lately. Hehe. Duuuudeee...I think that Me, Jess and Lauren had way too much fun for our own good tonight. Honestly. Who else has macaroni and cheese fights that end with mac and cheese in Lauren's boobs and mac and chesse on Jess's face. And umm...who else loves checkers like we do?? I wanna get kinged. ;] DON'T ASK! Inside joke. Hehe. Wow, and umm...who else go's aroung moaning "oh fetus" LMAO! Hey, not my fault, I thought I was being quiet. HAHA. Ne whoo. And who besides Lauren would almost die from over-inhalation of a cigarette. LOL. I think I may just give up on guys and marry these girls. And who else besides me and lauren would fight like we do? Seriously, she threw her cellphone at me, and somehow, it split my lip open, so it was bleeding. LMAO. Then were in the kitchen and we just start punching each other. Whoa. Oh...and umm...who else would make fun of me like Jess & Lauren. They decided that by the time I'm old...I'm not gonna have hair, no eye brows or eyelashes, one boob, no clit(i somehow lost that and its twitching in my bed) K..*laughs hysterically* oh, and I'm somehow going to explode, and catch on fire. Fucking, holy shit. And we decided if Lauren ever has a child, its going to come out black, charred and retarded, from all her smoking. And it will be either Cracker Joe or Cracker Jane. Yes, I'm the one who encourages my friends to drop out of school and have charred babies at the age of 15. I'm seriously laughing so hard as I write this. Oh..and who else would talk about Fetus being Afroghaniexican and not being "from around here". And we were talking about him fingering me and we were outside, and we were saying how it would be funny if my dad heard the whole converasation and next time he see's Fetus he would be like "Whats this I hear about you fingering my daughter" and Fetus's response would be "I'm not from around here" LMFAO. I think we have too much time on our hands. I'm sure we had more fun, but I can't remember. LOl. Tonight is pretty amazing. I will not lie. ♥ Ohh...I'm gonna play an intense game of checkers with Jack and he is gonna king me...multiple times. Lol. Ohhhh man. Do I love checkers. :] 1 comment|post comment

FUCK!!!!!!! [13 May 2006|02:14am] [ mood | infuriated ] [ music | Devotion & Desire-Bayside ] I swear to fucking god, im gonna kill someone. fucking a. im so fucking pissed. rawr. hes a fucking scum bag. if he expects me to change around my life for his mother fucking scum bag friend then he can go fuck himself. ugh. im gonna go fucking slit his throat while hes sleeping. look what the fuck hes turning my brother into. this is so fucked up. im not gonna watch him throw his life away. im not down with that shit. what the fucking fuck fuck fuck. 1 comment|post comment

You Give Love A Bad Name [13 May 2006|12:30am] You knew that this would kill me But you carried on and on With your selfish shit Everyone cared about you Why couldn't you ? Instead your greed compelled you to steal other silver linings. Burnt down my world You killed my hope Spread out the ash and walked away How could you just close off your eyes Turn tail and run You are the greatest coward Coward Damn right I am still pissed Next time I see your face we'll see who has the upper hand Kiss my fist Taste the floor Tired of your games Fuck off goodbye post comment

Get Me The Fuck Out Of This Place... [12 May 2006|11:31pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Konstantine-SoCo ] "Best Friends" Means I Pulled The Trigger "Best Friends" Means You Get What You Deserve Stay The Fuck Out Of MY Life!!!!!! post comment

;] [11 May 2006|11:37pm] [ mood | naughty ] [ music | Sic Tranist Glory, Glory Fades-Brand New ] She Fakes A Smile And Presses Her Hips Into His ;] post comment

!! Fuck You !! [11 May 2006|07:18pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | Suicidal-April Sixth ] You took the roses dead and gone I gave You took the sun and moon from which we made You'll be the one to kill me in the end All the promises you swore were true You're full of lies in everything you do You'll be the one to ruin me How dare you call yourself a friend. All you think about is yourself. You could care less about those around you who have always been there for you when you needed them. You were never there for me when I needed you the most. You never find the time to talk to me anymore, to call, to even acknowledge that I'm here. Maybe you should take a look around and look at those people who have been your true friends, because sooner or later, their gonna get fed up with your shit too. Trust me, I'm not gonna stick around much longer. I've given you the benefit of the doubt too many times. I've stuck up for you too many times when everyone put you down, but I won't do that anymore. I'm done trying to make you seem like a good person. You're not. Your always getting your way, no matter who it may hurt. You just don't give a shit about anyone besides yourself. Just remember, karma's a bitch. 2 comments|post comment

I Hate You. [10 May 2006|10:43pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Evanescence. ] I will Not Be Broken Again Life is gayyyyyyyyyy. 1 comment|post comment

I Think That We've Got Something Here... [09 May 2006|10:31pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Amber-311 ] I've got the gift of one liners And you've got the curse of curves And with this gift I compose words And the question that comes forward Are you perspiring from the irony Or sweating to these lyrics And this just in You're a dead fit But my wit won't allow it The inside lingo had me at hello And we go where the money goes The inside lingo had me at hello And we go where the money goes I want someone provocative and talkative But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower And from what I've heard with skin you'll win Her bone structure screams "Touch her! Touch her!" And she's got the curse of curves So with the combination of my gift with one liners And my way My way with words It seems I’m too hip to keep tight lips And you’re on the gossip team You’re making something out of nothing And jealousy is the cause the causing of grieve The inside lingo had me at hello And we go where the money goes The inside lingo had me at hello And we go where the money goes I want someone provocative and talkative But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower And from what I've heard with skin you'll win Her bone structures screams [I want someone] ”Touch her! Touch her!” And she’s got the curse, the curse of… [I want someone] From what I heard with skin you’ll win We All have teeth that can bite underneath To where the reality grows Yeah, that's where mine go We all have teeth that can bite underneath To where the reality grows Yeah that’s where mine go The reality grows… From what I've heard with skin you'll win And From what I've heard with skin you'll win I want someone provocative and talkative But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower And from what I've heard with skin you'll win Her bone structures screams [I want someone] ”Touch her! Touch her!” And she’s got the curse, the curse of… [I want someone] From what I heard with skin you’ll win With skin you’ll win Skin you’ll win Fucking...amazing band. Everyone should really listen to them. Today was alright. Hung out with Jess, watched a movie...had a crazy insane pillow fight that ended with me throwing the TV clicker at her. Lmao. The we watched the kittens fight for like....20 minutes and laughed hysterically. Were basically cool. Mhmm. Her and my brother are like..seeing each other. It's pretty cute. I love people who are different, but in their own way, and theres just something about them that you can't figure out. Those are my favorite people. The ones who leave you guessing and trying to figure them out. Yea...their amazing, and thier always the people I'm most attracted to. Dfgsdkfjkwje. What am I gonna do with myself? Lol. So, I just thought of something..."Love is Insanity, But the one's you love are the ones who keep you Sane" Doesn't really make sense, but then again, neither does love. Hehe. I could go one forever about love, but I'll spare the people who read this. Haha. Gsdfnkjenw. I don't know what to think anymore. Ahhh. Schools almost done. I cannot fucking wait for summer. I basically think it's going to be amazing. And I'll have my lovely Lauern to spend it with. God, I love that girl. &hearts. Well...I'm basically runnning out of things to say. Peace♥ 1 comment|post comment

If You Let Me Have My Way I Swear I'll Tear You Apart.. [06 May 2006|11:33pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Staplegunned-The Spill Canvas ] Your Erotic Wet Automatic Eyes Keep Reoccuring In My Mind, Do Me A Favor And Press Your Lips To Mine God, I miss that boy so much. Someone make me stop being stupid. And falling for boys like it's my job God, wtf is wrong with me?!?! I know I'm venting to no one, but still...I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I just need to talk to Berto and cry, cause I know he'll listen to me & try to make me laugh....I like this boy the way I liked Berto, when I first started to like him & Look where the fuck that got me 45094345634 Tears later, a broken heart and a fear of love. After Berto I was so careful with my heart Then this boy comes along And I just fucking melt. Hes so amazing and just so different from Berto. Like, no offence, but this boy....thers something unexplainable about him. I'm like...craving him. As hard as that is to explain. Dkmwkfenw. I dunno. I'm just not ready to get hurt again, but I have a feeling that this is where thats gonna get me, right back at square 1. But on a lighter note, my brother had one motherfucking intense party tonight. I wish I would have been drunk to deal with the shit that was going on. Oh mannnn. My brother almost fell into the fire. Holyyy shit. I was like WHOA!! This ain't cool. But everything is settled now. Fo sho. 5 comments|post comment

Cutieeeeeee Faceeeee ♥ [05 May 2006|01:23pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Brat Pack-The Rocket Summer <3 ] Look At What We All Try Not To Become Another Fabricated Self Portrait Sfwelfwelnqwk. I love that fucking song. I love that fucking band. sjkdfnkjnew. Oh man. I'm in too deep. This is the part where someone slaps me really hard across the face to bring me back to reality, cause I have no idea where the fuck I've been. Lol. Whoa. If this is love, then I want out. I'm gonna drive myself to insanity. If you ever really stop to think, love is insanity. Love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. When you're in love with someone, you go into a different mindset. Haha. I'm so full of wisdom. It's crazzzzzzzy. "Give it up boy, give it up or you're gonna die. You'll get a bullet in the back of the neck. In the back of the neck right between the eyes" <- That my friend is another good song. Some good ol' Straylight Run. I think it's about war or something along those lines. It's a sick song though. Literate and Stylish Kissable and Quiet That's What Girls Dreams Are Made Of♥ Whoa. Another good song. Taking Back Sunday is quite amazing I will not lie. Hmm, so I'm pretty stoked for Warped Tour, even though it's not until August. It's all good. Well, I do believe I've run out of things to talk about. ♥ post comment

Cute Is What We Aim For ♥ [04 May 2006|03:27pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | You've Made Us Concious-The Audition ] What would you say if I asked you not to go To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me Would you take my hand and never let me go Promise me you'll never let me go And now the stars aren't out tonight, But neither are we to look up at them Why does hello feel like goodbye? These memories can't replace, These wishes I wished and dreams I chased Take this broken heart and make it right I feel like I lost everything when you're gone Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me I thought you should know, You're not making this easy I never thought I'd be the one to say Please don't, well please don't leave me I feel like I lost everything when you're gone Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me I thought you should know, You're not making this easy You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...) Take my hand and never let me go, Take my hand and never let me go, Promise me... You'll never let go You'll never let go You'll never let go You'll never let go Make this last forever I feel like I lost everything when you're gone Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me I thought you should know, You're not making this easy You're not making this easy You're not making this easy You're not making this easy You're not making this easy I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you Hmm...I don't have much to say I suppose. Life has been a bit off lately. I'm so stressed out and I have been crying over everything. Like, the littlest things make me cry. It's ridiculous. I haven't been up to much. Camped out with Jess Kevin and Erik. That was a pretty good time. I won't lie. I do believe I'm camping out with some cool Plainfield kids this weekend. Hehe. That boyyyyyyyyy. Whoa. I'm one crazy kid. I miss my crazy mexican...also known as Michael Maestez. I really hope I can see him this weekend. I'm not sure how I feel about falling for this boy, but eh, what the hell, why not? Life is about taking risks, and he's my favorite kind of risk. ;] Me and Jess were talking about how were basically the same person. It was funny. Woot woot. I guess that's all I really have to say. Peace♥ post comment

Another Fabricated Self Portrait... [01 May 2006|03:45pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Hands In The Sky-Straylight Run ] I Am Losing My Mind Whoa. I'm driving myself nuts thinking about this boy. Today was gayyyy. I hate school. I miss Mike. I need to see him soon. Lauren dropped off the face of the planet. I wanna go somewhere. Whoa. I need out of this house for a bit. I'm losing it man. Fuckkkk. post comment

Whoaaaa. I'm So HxC!! [29 Apr 2006|11:23pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Grillz-Nelly & Some Other Cool People ] I Have Been Awake For 37 Hours Straight!!! Just felt the need to share that with the world. Umm...I don't think I know whats going on anymore. My body is so exhausted, but like...my mind isn't? Whoa. I think I need some mo fuggin sleep. :] post comment

This Hurts Like Hell... [28 Apr 2006|11:24pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Who I Am Hates Who I've Been-Relient K ] I'm Stuck Inside This Rut That I Fell Into By Mistake So...life is kinda shitty lately. Everything is just going so fucking downhill for me. I'm so stressed and just can't handle shit anymore. Especially shit with school. I honestly am considering dropping out. That school isnt even a school, its a fucking prison. I really have no reason to go anymore. Theres no way I can make up my work that I've missed, and theres no way that I'm gonna re-do my sophmore year next year and be in that hell hole for an extra year. There is NO FUCKING way. The teachers don't even give a shit, they don't even try to motivate you. Ugh. If I were to drop out, I'll turn 16 in 3 fucking months, and I want to get a job, get my GED and then go to QV when I'm old enough. I know it will be tough, but it will be so much easier than staying in that prison for 3 more years. I wish I was more equipped to deal with pressure and stress, but I just wasn't made that way. I can only handle so much. I can only stay strong for so long. I think I've hit a breaking point in like...life. Just everything. Half the reason I'm depressed half the time is because I'm stressed and I'm stressed most of the time because of school. Its fucking ridiculous. And fucking...the grading policy is ridiculous. Can't they see that so many of the people in our school are either failing or dropping out? Why can't they just change it. If I want to fail, they should let me fail. Jesus fucking christ. I just want to be happy. And fucking thanks to some person Fetus prolly thinks I'm obsessed with him and some kind of fucking stalker. And fucking Brett would not shut up about what happened between me and Fetus. He just kept going on and then if I brought it up Brett would tell me to shut up. It was fucking ridiculous. Rawr. I need a big fucking hug. Tonight Shawn gave me a hug and told me everything would be ok. I dunno. I just wish I could belive him. All I want is to not go to school anymore, do something with my life and be happy. And I just want someone to love me. I want this one to go somwhere, but I'm sure I messed that up too. I'm such a fuck up. Honestly. I can't get anything right. 3 comments|post comment

We Burned SO Bright... [25 Apr 2006|03:52pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Burn This City-Cartel ] ...And You Kissed Me Like You Meant Itttttt :] <-This is me..not being able to stop smiling. ♥ 1 comment|post comment

Crazy... [25 Apr 2006|07:39am] [ mood | angry ] I'm Going Crazy I'm Going Crazy Baby I'm driving myself absolutely insane. School is gay, I hate it here and I want to be home. Rawr. Kill me now please. 2 comments|post comment

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