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jackrabbit30's Journal
Last night Kelsey informed me that she told the little girl that she wasn't BI. She said mom you don't have anything to worry about. i was just having a bad day. The little girl kept bothering her and then her gf broke up with her so she started crying and leaning on Kelsey for support. So she went along with it. But she said mom I am boy crazy. I honestly hope this is so if not I hope she is starting to tell me things just cause she thinks I want to hear them. She is still hanging out with Stormy. But she said my attitude is better. I am not letting that control me.
Hopefully it will all work out. I am glad she is telling me these things. I hope she continues to tell me.
I have a lot to write about when I get home....but for now I need to get ready for work
I can't stand people lieing. Mostly about the most important things in life. I was informed last night that my mother discussed James with Kelsey. This has been a few months ago when it happened but still what she said were lies. James is Kelsey's other half. Sperm donor is what I have always called him. For two reasons. One is he does know about her but wants nothing to do with her. Well that is the way I feel. He has never tried to contact her or find me. He knows where my family is. But then again after everything they have said he might be scared to. But then again with his history I believe I will stick to him just not wanting to see her. Anyway...My mother told my daughter about what happened at the rehab walk at thon. That day my brother and him were there because they were in the same rehab. Well he goes up to my parents and said he is getting his life straightened out to giet me and kelsey back. ok whatever. My mother and I had some words the very next day. Our relationship hasn't been the same since. Anyway I find out last night she sat Kelsey down and told her what happened then started to find things about Kelsey that she could have taken after him. Some people say she looks like me and some people say she looks nothing like me. Well what has gotten me mad is my mother had the balls to tell her she doesn't believe James is her father anyway. I got so mad. i told Kelsey that her grandmother has lied about this whole situation all her life. I will write about the whole story in Kelsey's journal. Then save it and when she is ready to read it then it will be there. I can promise one thing. It will be the truth. I asked Kelsey if she had any questions about James. She said no. If he doesn't want anything to do with her then she doesn't want to know anything about him. I want to tell her so much that I found my father. Share this whole experience with her but I honestly don't know how she will take it. I know there will be a day when she will meet him so what then?? my father is different. He tried to get me when I was 8 or so and then try to find me when I was 15. I knew in my heart for many years he wanted me. I knew the situation for 9 years. For such a little girl you might think I wouldn't remember much but I do. Maybe things will change for Kelsey. I don't know. i will only take it one day at a time.
I didn't sleep well last night. I tossed and turned. So i am going to take a nap. I have to get up really early to take my patient to have surgery. I hope I rest!
On Aug 26, 1920 the 19th amendment tot he constitution which guaranteed women the right to vote went into effect.
Wow look at how far we have come!!! Back then women had no rights. Then as time passed by we began to explore other things we should be able to do such as work outside of the home. Lots of women work outside of the home these days. I have been watching the election stuff on and off since all this is going on and heard one woman asking people to vote. 51% of voters are women!! Wow 51%. Our vote counts!!! It is amazing how far we have come BUT my question is do we really enjoy coming this far? I see more and more women losing their kids because they do other things. Fathers staying at home more. Women choosing careers over their children. In my opinion I like it back in the old times. I do know I need to work but I also like being at home for my children if they need me and when they need me. I like to put them first. I have a sister that is a career woman. I have no problems with that at all. I just see time passing by quickly for her and her family. Is she able to spend time with her children. Enough time that it makes a difference?? I don't honestly know because i only see her twice a year.
Anyway....I am glad we have rights and people these days look at us as equals. I just wished we could have the best of both worlds.
My horoscope for Sunday read as follows: There are certain people to whom you have a tendency to feel inferior, especially in their prsence. Taht will all change when you discover how highly they regard you.
Ok you might wonder if this was true for me on that day or any day. It got me to thinking. Well Sunday morning my in laws called to see if we wanted to come over and swim and cook out. First i think I need to go back a little. On thursday I got a call that I wasn't needed at my job that weekend. Oh that hurt big time. I haven't worked in two weeks. We use that check for grocerys. Well with no food and no extra money I had to no choice. I swollowed my pride and asked my MIL for help. I told her the situation and I promised to pay her back. She gave us a few things from her house. Well Friday she went and bought about 50 worth. I don't know the amount for sure because she wouldn't give me the reciept. I was glad to have food but also hurt that I had to ask. I told her I hated to ask but I had to no choice. Marty wasn't going to use the credit card and we nothing saved. We had to get Sassy out of the vet. Some say we should have put her down but he couldn't. She wanted to live. Jennie said Jackie I don't mind helping. I just wanted to cry. Well then Sunday she asked if we would like to come over and cookout and swim. Kelsey wanted to go very much. Marty told her it was up to me. Could I go and keep my mouth shut. He didn't want to hear it if Jennie said something that hurt my feelings. I thought and thought all morning. I asked him to be out side with me the entire time. If he could do that then I would go. so we went about 2. I sat and talked with Stacie for a while on the swing while everyone else was swiming or cooking. I seen Marty checking on me from time to time. I liked that. We then we all moved out to the pool. I took a lot of pictures of the kids. My in laws were really nice and never said anything that hurt me. Well one thing was said. But I didn't take it to heart. Jennie asked Marty if he was going to fix Morgan's hotdog. He never answered so she asked Stacie. Stacie said he has a daddy and a step mom they can fix it. Jennie said his daddy won't do it so Stacie you do it. It was like I wasn't there or I wasn't a step mom or anything. I didnt take it to heart. She has always been that way. So i spoke up and said I will fix it. Morgan what do you want. She never said another word about it. As the day went on, Marty joined the kids. Been a long time since he played that much with the kids. I enjoyed watching him. I took many photos. It was a nice afternoon. I was getting restliss so at 545 I said we needed to go. At 6 we left. I was so glad to get back home.
I wonder after reading my horoscope for that day if these people highly regard me or is it someone else the article is speaking about?? I do know they make me feel inferior when they are around so I suppose the last part is also about them. But why can't they let this be known? It is hard to admit or show a person that you actually like them?? Or do they just have so much hatred or frustration in their own life that they want everyone else around them to be miserable? I don't know. Maybe I am reading to much into it. I have been told from time to time I do that. So I will just leave at that I had a good time. Everyone behaved and enjoyed themself and I got some wonderful priceless pictures!!
Current mood:
amused.
Never frown, because you never know who may be falling in love with your smile.
Learn from Yesterday..
Live for today..
Hope for tomorrow..
Eating more bananas will help you get enough vitamin B6 in your diet. Research suggests that vitamin B6 is important for proper neurotransmitter functions. It may also help in preventing mood disorders, such as depression. For an easy vitamin B6 fix, add banana slices to your breakfast cereal. One medium banana contains about a milligram of vitamin B6.
Kelsey has her first football game. She was so nervous and excited. She said she messed up once or twice during half time. The other team's band was big and she got to meet some of them. She had so much fun. But she couldn't remember the score of the game. I guess she was having so much fun that she didn't watch the game. We won 33-14. I hope we go to state again this year!!!
Her attitude is getting better. i guess I just had to adjust it a little. I know she is a good girl. she is lovable and very respectful. But when she hang out with the wrong crowd for some reason she does what they want her to do instead of her being herself. I guess that is where we parents come into play. I am just glad right now she isn't hating me.
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, there are people in my past who have hurt me. Maybe they don't even realize the pain they have caused and maybe they didn't do it intentionally. But I know that Satan wants to use that hurt to make me bitter. I refuse to allow the enemy to use my past to make me bitter! What Satan intends for evil, I know that You will use for good. Help me to see the good in each dark situation and use it for Your glory! In Jesus' name, Amen.