| hola hello hey whats up? |
[07 Nov 2009|08:58pm] |
so i'm at work right now...kinda bored...not kinda, a lot. just noticing how the whole being an RA has changed this semester...if we were sick we had to suck it up last year..but now people can do whatever they want "i'm sick" is like an easy pass for getting out of rounds..i would like to say bull shit to that..how is that fair? i'm done with rounds this semester but let me get sick next semester and try to use the whole "i'm sick so i can't do rounds" and see how that goes b/c if they say anything than i have a stockpile of shit to throw at them...how can u say that i can't but u let a shit load of people get out of rounds by claiming they were sick? bulll shitttt.
other than that my day is going...its not as productive as i would have liked it to be..i really want to finish these papers well i NEED to finish these papers considering they are due next week on tues and thurs to be exact so there is gonna be some late nights in my near future...crap. i should have brought an energy drink considering coffee doesn't do anything for me or maybe its because i want it to help so much that my brain is psyching me out...or that u have to psych ur brain out in order for the coffee to have any effect...either way i need to work on psyching my brain out b/c i will be finishing this eight page paper at least a day before its due..as long as i have enough time to go to the writing center and have them check it....BLAH. so i'm going to have to stay up today to work on it b/c i did nothing this whole day well i guess i did something...i found more information but other than that i did nothing. so i need to start on that..hopefully these eight pages won't take forever. crossing my fingers.
okay so i may need to be nicer to people...just a tad bit b/c i am kinda mean/rude but its not my fault people are annoying and way to slow for me to deal with them like sometimes i just wanna smack people upside their head and ask them if they heard what they just said/did/hinted at/etc
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| i need out... |
[22 Oct 2009|11:12pm] |
so obviously the whole going over to grings mill didn't work...i'm so frustrated and the only thing i can do is cry, which only makes me more frustrated b/c this is not the way i want to handle my feelings. i just can't handle having a roommate anymore...
"okay so what am i supposed to do? she said that it was "curled under" her clothes and she didn't know where it came from? and that she asked "everybody..even Kervens" if it was theres...why would she ask "everybody" and not in bother to ask me? like wouldn't that make the most sense? to ask the person who u share a room with? seriously? i really want her OUT this is freakin annoying...like i didn't even know what to say back...this just drives me freaking crazy...like i know that she's lying but how can i prove it?? i don't know how much longer i can handle this....does she think i'm her mother? that i'm here to pick up after her? like did her family not teach her how to throw out the trash? another thing i have to talk to her about...but after she finished telling me how she didn't know where the tshirt ended up underneath her stuff, she just rolled over (she was "sleeping")..........i'm def going to talk to her about the trash but i want to do it at another time...when i don't want to hurt her so much...i really don't want to have to deal with this all semester...i didn't come to college to freaking clean up after others...so i'm gonna tell her (for the trash issue) that the whole "if you see it full throw out" thing isn't working so i'm not going to take it out anymore b/c its mostly her stuff in there and it doesn't make any sense...i have a trash can that i throw out the bag whenever its full/stinky...and she needs to do the same thing...i just want this to be over"
seriously? am i here mother? i can't believe this is happening my last year...like i lived with freaking potheads and they never touched my personal items...and they were freaking POTHEADS like from what i know she isn't addicted to any type of illegal or legal drug...so i don't know what her reasons are..like i know she is a liar b/c she freaking lied about having sex while i was sleeping even tho her "boyfriend" told brittany that they did TWICE. i just want to yell and runaway...far away...i can't handle all of this...i just want this semester to be over and PRAY that i don't ever have to see her again! like i wanted to believe that everything was fine...but she is disgusting...like i'm messy but i don't leave my hair all over the sink and other random things and i know how to freakin put the damn mat back after i take a shower...so it has a chance to dry out...I AM TIRED OF HER BEING HERE like seriously i wouldn't mind having Sarah again..at least last year wasn't so annoying..like she knew what to do and she wasn't here on the weekends...now i'm stuck with a rude, inconsiderate person...i want to hit her...like just take a nice swing at her...but i can't :-( stupid ra job. can't get any satisfaction here.
another thing...i need to stop hanging out with certain people...really do i always want to be the butt of ur jokes? NO. how about u stop it? so i'm gonna try this week not to hang out/text/call/facebook ANYTHING with several people...its so hard to clean the toxic out of ur life when u go to a small campus...this is a reason that i could see why i would enjoy a larger campus only b/c if u don't want to talk to someone u won't have to...u don't see them in ur classes and everywhere else. but i am going to try my best to go a week..starting tomorrow...without going out of my way to talk to them..if they say hello than i will respond but thats it...i don't see the reason of letting them get to me and then laugh about how they did it...can they tell that i don't find it funny? oh well, they most likely won't even notice this week...b/c they are to busy laughing at me about something i did in the past to notice that i am not talking to them.
and jumah wants me to talk to matt about my roommate issues...whats he gonna do? NOTHING. exactly couldn't do anything about ashton's situation and how is mine any different? he doesn't have any power/control/say in who moves out so talking to him would be pointless...seriously...pointless. plus he hasn't really been present lately...i'm pretty sure he's going to leave the job soon...oh well.
so in the end there really isn't anyone for me to talk to...i am NOT going to counseling services again b/c my luck she's gonna try to put me on some pills and that won't be fun bc they didn't do ANYTHING..and i don't want to go through the crap again. i'm not depressed i just have some issues that i need to work out before i can feel happy happy again...have i ever felt happy? ARGHHHHHH
to top it all off...my mom is going through some crap and pulling me along for the ride. i don't understand why she won't just drop it? ur not gonna get the mother of the year award EVER. like what kind of mother brushes ur feelings away while u are talking to her? after i went to rwanda i wanted to make it up to her and let her know how i was feeling and why i acted the way i did...but she pretty much ignored me apparently her view of my life is WAY different than mine...i wonder which one is more accurate? the one who actually lived it?? i think that would be it. i just don't know what to do besides ignoring her...like i just want to be free from all of them...i really think i'm gonna move to california...far freaking away from this mess. i think it would be good for me...show me if i can survive or if i'm gonna crawl back to my family? hoping that i will float and survive...i just think the west coast is just what i need...maybe not even calif..oregon, washington state, even michigan ( i know its not on the west coast) just some state far away from everyone. like i want a fresh start when i come back from kenya...completely fresh....get a place, look for a job...idk in which order it will happen...maybe live out of my car (if i ever get one) or suitcase.
one other thing...why the hell did the freakin group of freshman aspire (aka the minorities) need to move to the study room across from my room? seriously? well lets see how long that lasts...because if i need to do my homework...i WILL be in that study room..and i know more than a few of them have a problem with me so why would they want to stay??? that doesn't make any sense...does it? so my OTHER goal for next week is to force them to leave...i'm gonna sit in the study room every night if i have to in order to get them to leave..its mean but i'm tired of having to deal with that...i wouldn't mind if they didn't come back to school..damn the whole they get guranteed housing...they have gotta do something horrible that gets them kicked out of the program and pretty much off campus...i'm sure that day will come.
okay so i need to stop ranting its just that i don't have anywhere else to go or anyone to talk to ..... oh yeah if jumah keeps playing the damn music i am going to hit her with her phone....its so annoying, like we are doing a job right now..turn down ur music and stop eating all the time we r on rounds...once agian i'm done..
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| just felt like writing stuff..... |
[21 Oct 2009|07:43pm] |
okey dokey...i've been feeling a little tired laterly i don't know why but i'm hoping it has something to do with my sleep patterns b/c its been a little erratic...sometimes i get the full eight hours or more..other times i get like three hours or less...so i'm banking on that for being the reason i'm so tired.
i need to go back to the gym...last week i went once on monday and then the rest of the week i was too sick to go anywhere..to the point where the nurse told me not to leave my room. but i need to go back b/c i NEED to be healthier...like i don't wanna be skinny (thats to scary for me) but i don't want to have so much extra baggage around my stomach especially since that could lead to heart issues and i don't want heart issues..so i'm going to start working out again...thursday i have my aerobics dance class but then friday saturday and maybe sunday (i may have to get ready for my Kenyan program) i will be at that gym. like i just wanna keep this going because its good to introduce exercise to ur life and i want to make it something that i do my whole life...or at least the rest of my life.
i need to get into the groove in some of my classes...actually just two of them...i need to get at LEAST a B in those two classes...which means STUDYING for the quizzes/tests and READING the assignments so I can pull up my participation grade...i'm pretty stoked b/c in my gender comm class i got a 91 on my midterm..which means i'll get a 91 on my final also!!!! thank goodness for the option of not having to take the final!! umm..and i got an 85 on my community based research class which was a shocker and i'm totally okay with that!! that's a class that could totally kick my butt but i'm gonna stay on my grind for that!! but yeah i just need to keep it up in those classes. oh yeah my french class...idk what i got on the quiz bc that popped up out of nowhere for me but i know on the last test i got a 93 or 97 which is awesome but i've gotta keep up on that class b/c thats one that i could be like oh well its not a big deal and totally let it slip from under my hands...i'm gonna keep it up!! I NEED TO KEEP IT UP!! I WANT TO END MY COLLEGE CAREER WITH A BANG!!!
okay..b/c i'm a semi-nerd i calculated my GPA prediction...I get an A in cas 204, cas 455, kines & french culture, a B+ in hist and a B in commbased than my GPA would be a 3.7 & it would move my cumulative GPA up to 3.11 :-) that would be awesome!!!!!! and for next semester with the grades i'm gonna work towards i would get a 3.68 semester GPA idk what that would go for my cumulative GPA but i'm sure it would jump it up around the 3.2s!!!!!! wooot!!!!! so thats what i am gonna work towards for my last two semesters!!! plus i have internship credits that would boost my grades up even more!!!!
other than that....my life is pretty much the same...i'm still pretty fickle...maybe thats why i don't talk to guys...like if i lose interest in them while just talking to them as friends...than that wouldn't be a good thing if we were in a relationship. right? oh well....i'm not really looking for a relationship I GOTTA GO FOR THE GOLD!!! which is what these two semesters are gonna be MY OLYPMICS!!!!!!!!! hopefully i can get the online classes b/c that would be awesome AND i wouldn't have any classes on MWF b/c if its online than that wouldn't bother me considering i would probably be in the library or somewhere near a computer....BUT if i get the online courses that means i can get a JOB which would be awesome considering i would be able to save up money for Kenya!!
next semester is gonna be crazy..only bc i want to plan a whole bunch of stuff for the CYEC in order to get money...like a 5k walk/run...a photo exhibit...and anything else...i gotta do something to give these kids a better life!!! they totally deserve every chance that other kids have!!! and i think we need to do something about it!! but those are plans for winter break/spring semester b/c right now i gotta focus on not letting school drive me crazy!!! LOL
also i realized that i need a break from people every once in awhile...and until it gets cold...that is going to be walking over to the grings mill and either walking around or just sitting down and thinking...i did it on monday and it helped alot...like calm my nerves and stress....i don't mean to get upset but u can only handle people for a certain time...like they may be friends but that doesn't mean i have to be around them 24/7 b/c that would drive me crazzzzzy i can't even handle my family for a long period of time....and i've come to terms with the fact that it may be mean for other people to hear this but its something that i gotta do to keep my sanity.
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| classes |
[07 Oct 2009|06:16pm] |
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i need to bite my lip/tongue whatever to pass this class...i am going to need to suck up to her no matter how much it kills me inside...i can NOT do four intense 400 level courses in the spring bad enough I am going to have two. as much as it is going to kill me to go to class everyday i am going to have to suck it up b/c there is nothing else i can do to save myself..lol...it sounds disperate but it is...this class is slowly going to suck out my nerves and fill my body with stress...and i need to find something that will release that stress because if i don't i am going to end up eating a shit load and gaining even more weight...seriously i don't want to graduate fat...and i don't care if others don't think being 166 is fat but i do..its HUGE some people have great self esteem but i don't...and i know i don't but i lie about it because that is what i am used to doing so all of this ties into the fact that i have to suck it up and stay in the class because if i leave than i am screwed badly and i am not trying to come back to penn state for one class screw that shit seriously dear lorish i wish my grandfather was here...and i wish i hadn't lost the necklace b/c i don't feel like he's with me anymore and i just wanna cry and give up and drop out BUT I CAN"T to many people waiting to see me mess up so they can say "see told ya" and I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE THEM THAT PLEASURE
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| october 2009 |
[02 Oct 2009|02:37am] |
I can't make you want me.
I can't make you see how great we would be.
All I am able to do is wait for you to find the truth
stand in the background and hope that you notice me
I am not like those girls
who are able to walk up to a guy and talk to them
i am the girl that stands next to the wall
and no one sees me
the attention doesn't find me
and i don't seek it
all those girls with the short shorts
and high heels,
clothes so tight that you can see everthing
that is not me at all.
i am the girl in those songs
by taylor swift and saving grace
the one that isn't noticed until the end of the lyrics
and i can't change that
as much as i want to
i will always be that girl
the friend
the buddy
the "kid sister"
the third wheel
i will never be that girl
the hottie
the one that all the guys want
the one who reeks confidence
the girl who can wear anything and it looks awesome
i won't be that
and i am not going to try to be
i will have to continue being who i am
and wait until someone comes along
who understands me
and accepts all of me.
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| school is in session |
[11 Sep 2009|02:19am] |
okey dokey...so school has been in session for three weeks? i have lost like five pound!!!!! thats only thirty more for my goal!!!...so i guess if i can lose like five pounds a week...it should only take me six weeks to lose all of it...which means that i should be at my goal weight by....the 25th of October (or at least really close) b/c i am going to try when Ramadan is over to really work on my diet...i think i'm gonna have like ceral in the morning...a salad in the afternoon....and a sandwich at night...and some fruit in-between as snack...
as long as i stick to that AND continue to work out as much as i do then i think i can do it...i would be so freaking excited if i am able to meet my goal before the semester is over...besides school work its pretty much all i am focused on right now...not like obsessed focus but i now what i want to do differently in my life and i am working on changing it...YAY
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| sunday |
[16 Aug 2009|10:48am] |
i want to so badly make a change in my life that i just make it worse...like this pass 24 hours has just sucked...i got stung by a bee on my finger and its now swollen and i cant use it to type this out so its kind of hard and when i do use it the finger hurts bc i have moved it...today i left my phone at the camp thats like 40 minutes away...suck my life i just want this year to start off better and i'm pretty sure im getting my period b/c i am overly emotional right now and it sucks bc i know that i shouldnt be but i cant help it
i really am trying to make a difference in my life and the way i treat people but its hard when people dont expect a change and keep treating u the way they did before...and i hate the way i was treated before...which is why i wanted to make a change.."be the change u see in the world" right? well its hard when the world doesnt want u to change...
like i hate when people question my intelligence bc i am already insecure about it and its worse when all u hear are jokes about how slow or stupid u are....if this is karma then i am screwed but karma should understand that when i was younger i was going through alot of stuff and it may have (it did) mess me up in the head so its not all my fault...lets say half and half
i am really trying to make this year different but its hard...maybe i should try the whole not talking thing but people ruin it bc they think something is wrong with me...that i am sad or something....this is so frustrating.
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| panic attack? |
[02 Aug 2009|12:53am] |
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is it possible to have a super quiet subtle panic attack? if so thats what i am experiencing.....i couldnt fall asleep but i think i am ready for bed now...all i know is that i need to lose 30lbs this semester...i am not going to graduate lumpy and fatttttttttttttttttttttt. that is all.
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| july 4th |
[05 Jul 2009|12:10am] |
so that day was pretty good...we went to playland which is always fun for me...but i swear some of the women need to learn that covering up is not a bad thing..not everyone wants to see all of their lumps and whatnot some things are best left for the bedroom...and all of the girls dress like prostitutes..its horrible to realize that the whole sex sells and sex idustry really have affected the minds of all these girls..like seriously if you leave some mystery its not a bad thing to do.
besides that...i really need to be away from my family...like i can not handle them at all for long periods of time..sometimes i wonder just like how slow and dimwitted there are...i'm not saying that i am the smartest person in the family but sometimes i feel like it...my mom for instance freakin graduate college and whatnot and yet she talks like english is her second language...i blame it on the arabic friends that she has had..they can't speak english that well and its rubbed off on her..seriously talking to her u would think that she is from a different country and that english was not her first language
my nephew...i seriously do not want anything to do with him...if he doesn't get his way..he will throw a temper tantrum and he's freakin 10..like act ur age and stop being a baby and i am done being with both of them at the same time b/c my mom is the one that will give in and buy him whatever crap he's crying about...get me this get me that...he doesn't even say please and he knows that she will buy it for him i need a break from them...but i won't b/c i do not know anywhere here and there is no please i can go away to
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| Summer List |
[27 May 2009|12:15pm] |
There are a few things that I want to do this summer...and hopefully I'll be able to check some off...alot of them have to do with changing my appearance to the way that i want it to be and also working on myself and trying to figure out why i react to certain things the way that i do.
1. Lose 25-35 pounds
2. Work Out
3. Cut my hair..i want like a messy/modern bob
4. get a mani and pedi
5. get eyes done either by wax or thread
6. buy a pumice stone to lighten my underarms
7. get a brazillian wax
8. fall in love? lol i know that i won't actually "fall in love" but i would like to have a summer romance :-)
9. sell my textbooks online/buy textbooks online
10. save up money to pay off my tuition..i really want a car but i guess i have to be reasonable about this and paying my tuition is smarter than buying a car b/c thats less loans i'll have to deal with
so these are the ten things that i want to do during my summer...i'm sure that i can do them as long as i put in the effort and time...the only one that may be hard is the whole summer romance thing..like i just want to be able to go on some dates and have someone to talk to...is that to much to ask for?
okay so i have to go to the bank...but i'll be back in a few weeks to update my summer list and to give some results................................................SUMMER TIME
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| okey dokey |
[30 Apr 2009|02:49am] |
so i should be writting my 6 page paper that is due today at 1:40..but i really don't want to and i tend to write better later on its sad but i won't sleep tonight :-/
sooooo....i figured i would write down how i've been feeling these last few days b/c its been pretty interesting for me. i am slowly getting over the whole "blah my life sucks" because it only sucks as much as i want it to..so i'm working on a new outlook on life.
which includes the whole "i want a boyfriend" thing...i've realized that i have to get over the whole everyone i knwo thats been in a relationship has been screwed over and the whole sperm donor issues. so thats what i'm going to do this summer..focus on myself..try to figure out who i am before i start a relationship with some guy.
but i have to admit....there is this guy ben who isn't like gorgeous but something about him makes me smile every time i see him...like yesterday when i was standing in line for my tarot card reading (which was awesome and made me feel GREAT) and he was walking by...he stopped and we talked for a while...and i just felt all giddy inside..and what sucks is that he's graduating this semester..booo...but i def hope to see him next semester when i come back because idk but i really really want to get to know him better (not even completely all sexual) but like in every way :-)
lets see...schools okay...can't wait for the summer tho because i get to KENYA and the DR..i'm pretty excited for both of them...and the whole finally getting to travel thing makes me so freaking happy. i can't WAIT
ummmmmmm.....yay thats about it besides the fact that i feel tired right now...which isn't good if i want to finish this paper plus finish reading the book that i'm writing the paper on...i feel great...like on cloud 9 type of great.
oh before i forget...the tarot card reading lady...even tho i don't believe in these things 100% its still cool to hear them...so she told me that she saw like the world and the universe and that i wil be traveling alot and have interactions with different cultures YAY. also she told me that i have money and sperm donor issues DUH. and that i am going to grow from all of my experiences YAY and that destiny removed the sperm donor out of my life for a reason YAY (b/c lets admits it if he was in my life i wouldn't be able to do anything) and that after i mend some fences and take down the wall that i have built up that i can focus on a relationship...YAY.
so all in all i am feeling great...can't wait for the summer to start...can't wait to work...can't wait to travel!!!
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| emotional mess |
[13 Apr 2009|10:50pm] |
thats what i am...i am an emotional mess and i don't know how to change it...i can't away from it. my day was going pretty good but when i came into my room i just started feeling like shit...it may have to do with the fact that i asked heather if she wanted to be like co-presidents and she said "maybe but i'm going to be the head..b!tch" seriously? then never mind b/c if leadership house is still an slo then she's going to get it b/c her boyfriend is the current ra for that floor...and he gets to suggest who he thinks should take over that floor. whatever i don't care i just wanna get this whole end of the semester thing over with because i don't wanna deal with this anymore
and i just found out today that my cousin won't be in ct this summer...which sucks b/c its just going to be me in the house with my mom, aunt, and grandma....seriously? i'm going to need to find something to do and fast because i can not stand being around them for a long period of time...especially when its just me and i don't have someone else distracting them.
so the "thing" with joe is completely over...obviously...its been like two weeks or something like that without a single text/fb message so thats done...he's probably found someone else closer..blah that didn't go the way i wanted it to but whatever...i need to just keep telling myself that i do not need a man to make me happy..i don't i really really don't
blah...i should finish up my presentation for tomorrow...i just wish i had someone to talk to and i don't :-( yay for me.
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| boys = blah |
[08 Apr 2009|03:04pm] |
so lets see whats happened in the last free days...
i found out that the friend that introduced me to joe apparently hooked up/went out with him during high school and she doesn't even have the nerves to tell me. our one friend had to tell me..and i'm just confussed because if it wasn't that big of a deal then there shouldn't be a reason that she wouldn't tell me and yesterday while we are walking to class i asked her how well she knew joe and how they meet...i totally gave her the oppurtionity to tell me that they messed around in high school and SHE DIDN'T like seriously? but then again joe hasn't told me either so i don't know what to do about that...PLUS as we are walking to class she's on the phone with joe..telling him that shes going to be bored in class and will need someone to text and that someone was going to him...seriously? he never calls me and we barely text eachother because of the fact that he never responds to my texts...but he has no problem responding to her text messages? seriously? so i've decided that i am totally over this whole thing...not that there was anything to began with...but i am SO OVER IT like if a guy likes you then they would want to talk to u and get to know u. but apparently he has no interest in me so i'm done...like it was fun for the first two days but seriously if it did become a relationship it never would have worked because of the fact that he lives far away from me...he works ALL THE TIME...and he keeps secrets...which is something that i do not like...so i'm DONE...plus i have to much school work to worry about why he doesn't text me or call me and why he doesn't like me...i'm so over it...i don't even care.
boys just suck for now. right now i am just going to focus on myself and get what i need finished done..and then i'll worry about having a relationship.
addios joe because we are over... :-D
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| small update from my life |
[05 Apr 2009|04:06pm] |
okay so there is this guy joe that my friend introduced me too...and he seems like a nice guy and all, the opposite of what my close family would like to see me with bc he happens to be black but my friend says that he isn't the typical black guy b/c he listens to rock and people are always calling him an oreo...which i can totally understand. but what bothers me is that for some reason he doesn't want to talk on the phone or even chat online why? i have no clue. and i'm tired of texting and then waiting like an hour before i get a reply it sucks. like i understand that he has to work and whatever but this isn't going the way i want to. and our conversation so far has been blah like he barely asks me anything about myself. instead i'm always the one asking him questions about his life and then trying to inject something about myself. like isn't the whole talking thing supposed to be a give and take...like its a two way street right? but that doesnt seem to be the case and i don't want to let him control my feelings because i haven't even met the guy and i don't want to become that crazy stalker like person so i'm thinking that i'm just gonna text him when he texts me but not like try and make a conversation happen...i don't want to play any games but i don't see how else to i'm going to get what i want. like seriously i know this is easier for other girls...like i obviously missed the whole class about how to confidentaly talk to a guy and how to get him to actually ask questions about ur life unless my friend told him everything...but she doesn't even know everything about my life...i just want a freaking confidant and maybe thats what i am trying to turn him into but its not working at all so i should just stop...i mean its only been a couple of days so maybe something is going to change...but we live different lives and i don't think that i could handle it...like i don't want to date someone that lives on campus but someone that lives off campus or that works around here wouldn't hurt.
so i'm bored b/c i don't really want to do any of my homework like i seriously just want to stop going to school and so i compared our zodiac signs and this is what yahoo told me:
Aries & Leo Romantic Compatibility
When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!
This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient and proud. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.
Both Aries and Leo are Fire Signs. This tends to be a very heated and passionate relationship. When it's good it's very, very good, but when it's bad it's all about loud arguments and damaged egos. In this partnership there's always competition as to who's in charge. Since a love relationship shouldn't be about power, this can become a problem. Both of these Signs have boundless energy, so both will always be on the go. Although they may disagree often, their differences of opinion don't last long -- Aries is too busy moving on to the next challenge to hold a grudge. Leo needs to remember not to be resentful if their Aries lover doesn't show them enough respect.
Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Aries gives Leo the assertiveness to charge ahead and take chances, while Leo can help teach Aries to stabilize and follow things through. Aries may sometimes hurt Leo's feelings by saying something hurtful without thinking. Conversely, Aries may be irritated by Leo's bossy nature and tendency to sulk. But they're both loyal and care about each other deeply, and when they can understand there doesn't have to be a boss, their relationship can be exciting bliss.
What's the best aspect of the Aries-Leo relationship? The mutual admiration both Signs share for one another. With Aries as the initiator and Leo as the one who follows through, they both have their integral niche within the partnership. Their mutual energy and passion makes theirs a dynamic relationship.
so thats all i have to say right now...i'll be back bc i really don't want to do this debate thing
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| what is love? |
[20 Mar 2009|11:32pm] |
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so here's the thing.....maybe i have been looking at this all wrong. i know my sisters/brother/mom are kinda "anti-colored" but i don't have a problem with that. the thing i have a problem with is when the guys act really "ghetto" "gangsta" "hood" "thug" thats what i have a problem with and maybe thats what my family has a problem with also...i mean i have never asked them because i'm pretty sure they would laugh and ask me whats wrong with me...i don't want to like the lose the chance of finding someone that i may actually have feelings for because he happens to be darkish skin...because what if that is where my heart is supposed to be? so i guess i can try to be more open minded about that part of the spectrum. so that is something that i will have to do, i don't want to close off myself to any potentional and as long as they aren't like super "ghetto gangsta hood thug" than i would not mind at all.....i just have to work on the whole getting over the fact that he's not white...lol
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| spring break |
[12 Mar 2009|05:27pm] |
so for spring break i decided to go to mississippi for habitat for humanity and i think it was a good choice but the bad part was going with my friend..i definitley think that we should have gone with the separate camps bc this is not working for me...like this is pretty much irrirating...and we are in the same group which sucks even more bc we see eachother everysingle day and everysingle second and i can't really handle her...she's pretty much the opposite personality then i like to hang out with. it sucks bc i knew this was going to happen...that i would want to stop being friends wtih her bc of this break..and thats where i am leaning towards. but i don't know how to end the friendship, it sucks. i dont wanna complete end the friendship but i think that i should not hang out with her for the first few weeks that we are back at school...which isn't that hard bc we have different schedules but i think that would be the best for me bc i am seriously trying to not yell at her and its taking alot of my energy like i dont have time and dont want to put in the effort to learn how to deal with her..i just have to keep my distance when we go back and i think i should be fine bc that would be the best for both of us.
besides the fact that my friend is driving me crazy its a fun and interesting trip. i have meet some pretty cool people that go to berks so thats awesome. plus i have like the best homeowners out of the whole group, they are such a nice older couple and are pretty cute together bc they are always nice to eachother and hold hands and what not. i am glad that i came here for spring break and would pretty much be sitting on my butt if i went to connecticut.
besides all of that nice stuff...the darn gnats are biting up a storm. its like they cant get enough food/blood and they keep on coming back for more and i don't know what to do about them its like everysingle second the gnats are flying around my face and attacking my body...BLAH...the worst thing ever. seriously. they itch and get all red and then bumpy...the mosquitos arent even as bad because i only have like four bites from mosquitos
i am really tired tonight....like this week has been pretty hard all of the hardcore work and stuff that they have been making us do. like my group has
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| so what so what so what so what so what |
[15 Feb 2009|12:25am] |
okay so what? thats pretty much my answer to everything right this second...
so what i don't have a boyfriend
so what my first attempt to talk to a guy didn't work out that well
so what i'm not societies' verison of beautiful
so what i am completely lost in my life
so what...to all of the problems and items i have to deal with
i don't care about any of this
i just want to make it clea...so what.
okay so i just needed to write this down because people are driving me crazy. seriously...i really want to do that whole thing where i don't talk to anyone for a whole day...unless its super needed i will not speak to anyone..that would be awesome.
i wish i could have a cleanse in my life of all the people that are not worth my time...i wish i could get rid of them right now.
i just wish i could be happy. and i thought these medications would make me happy, but they don't...i'm just super sad...like a puppy :-(
as much as i want it to seem that life is full of rainbows, bunnies and happy people all over the place...its not..life is a dark world of disappoint. like nothing that i want to happen every happens and i hate to be a downer but thats how i feel right now...
i also wish i could hit something....maybe that would help me if i hit something. i just need to let go and scream and cry and get all of this angst out of my body...i seriously can't handle going on like this anymore..its not good for my body, soul, mind & the rest of me. i need to find a way to make myself better, soon. because i'm slightly afraid of where i will be if i don't figure out a way to make everything better. i need to make everything better inside before i should even think about dealing with others.
i'm going to rest right now because i'm just so tired...but i think a good cry is going to happen soon.
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| whaaaat |
[09 Feb 2009|10:34pm] |
so i don't know why
but i just feel like when you look at me you see someone else but i am NOT
i am who i am and i can't be anyone else no matter how hard you want me to be that person you have created in your mind.
i just want to be able to have someone that i can call my own but i don't want people to know that i want someone to call my own because then they will look at me and judge me based on everything that i do not like they don't judge me already but now i can handle it because its on my terms that they are judging me
i don't want to be like them i want to be like who i am going to be.
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| sunndaayyy |
[08 Feb 2009|01:16pm] |
so i don't know why i don't feel motivated to do anything today..like right now i should have already eaten and taken a shower so that i can get ready to go the library where i can actually study but that hasn't happened. instead i have stayed in my bed and slept on and off since i kinda woke up at 9. i don't know whats wrong with me, i know there are things for me to do today...like starting my homework for classes but i just don't feel the need to do any of that. instead i just wanna stay in my roo and not move at all. but i'm super tired which is what always happens to me after i have slept to long....its weird b/c it i don't get enough sleep i'm tired but if i get to much sleep i'm tired so i just don't win. kinda sucky. which means that i am always tired. b/c i don't know how to get the exact amount of sleep that i need....thats something that i need to work on but i don't know how that is going to work.
BLAH. like i am totally fine with life...nothing is wrong with my life that i can think of right now. like i'm fine with everything..i'm starting to let go of having certain things in my life...for example a boyfriend. i'm totally okay with not having one because for some people it takes a longer time to find someone special out there...and plus this isn't the greatest campus to actually find a guy...everyone is younger and all of the guys i've meet are only interested in sex (surprise surprise) and partying...two things that i'm not exactly interested in at this moment. my life doesn't revolve around those things so i guess its a good thing right now...plus i'm trying to work on myself which is harder than it sounds...i'm trying to motavative myself to do things like working out in the morning instead of sleeping in...because thats just a waste of hours...i have to get back into that...i do miss the energy that i felt on certain days that i worked out...it was weird because it was on and off...some days i would feel really good and other days i would be really tired after working out but i figure if i continue to do it for a hour every day then i will have more days of feeling better than not working out at all. the more energy i have the better because i'm always tired and people are always telling me that i look really tired which sucks because i don't want people to only see me as the tired one...whcih is what alot of people see me as.
alrighty so i'm going to take a shower because the library doesn't open til 2...which means that if i take a shower now i can stay in the library for a couple of hours and actually complete things.
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| school |
[04 Feb 2009|02:48pm] |
so i'm doing pretty much fine in everything...but for some reason i feel really stupid this semester. i don't know why but when i'm sitting in class and people are talking about stuff i have no clue what they are talking about. and sometimes they use words that i have never heard before and i don't know what they mean and i don't want to interupt the converstaion and ask what the word means because then everyone is going looking at me like i'm stupd. thats the only part of my life that i am insecure in...i don't care about what people think of my hair, my clothes anything like that...but for people to think that i am stupid freaks me out and i can't handle that.
and what bothers me is that i study and i read the pages that are assigned but then when i'm in class and the professor asks me something i have no clue what to say and i look like a dumbass...and i need to stop being tied all of the time...i just don't like the fact that i fall asleep ever for a second because i don't want to be that student that falls asleep and i hate being judged a certain way becuase of that.
i dislike classes were i feel that my opinion will be laughed at or mocked because everytime i try to say something...that sounds fine in my head either someone else says it or it comes out sounding really stupid and i don't know how to change that because i want to do well in class and whatnot but i just don't know how to. the last two years and a half must have been a joke because i never felt this bad about how my classroom performance is. or that others may think of me as being not as smart as they are. i hate that feeling. that i'm not as smart as someone....like i know i'm not a genius but i'm not stupid. i can be bright but i don't know to show that in my classes because of the fact that i am afraid of what professors and other students will thinik of me.
thats just another thing that i have to get over b/c its not going to do me any good if i just sit in class and stare out of the window because i don't want people to think a certain way about me.
grrr...suck my life.
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