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[14 Sep 2003|08:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
] |
I wanna move to a place where no one knows me
Just so I won’t have to lie to everyone about who I am
[or who I say I am]
Everyday
When I wake up
I put up a front
A façade
A disguise from who I truly am
I walk out of my house a different person than who I was while I was inside
I do it because I feel vulnerable when people know the real me
Because I’m afraid that people wont accept me if I didn’t live up to standards of corporate America
But most of all I do because I’ve done it for so long
I’ve done it for so long that I’ve forgotten who I truly am
There’s a war going on inside me
The real me wants out
But I can’t let it show
Because I’m afraid
Of what others will think
Of what ill think
And I really don’t know if I’d want others to know how I really am
I like them not knowing
Because if they knew the real me
They’d know how fucked up I am
And they won’t like it
Or I think they won’t
Because I wouldn’t like it if I weren’t me
But it’s the me I have to live with
Because being me is all I know how to be
Even if it’s not the real me
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| Your Love |
[02 Sep 2003|04:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
He's your fuckin shoulder to lean on |
] |
Your love is like cyanide
It's deadly
But worth the risk
I always wanted to know what death was like
I know if I taste it then I can't be with you
But I want to
Your love is like a trapdoor
And I am the sheep who keeps falling in
I know that it's there
But I'm willing to take the risk
Your love is my reason for living
Without it
I am nothing
Your love is my reason for death
If I can't have you
Then I'd rather be dead
Your love is everything to me
But still
I am nothing to you
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| Celebrate Diversity |
[29 Aug 2003|03:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
morose |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all |
] |
Saltwater cascades down the luminous mountains which make up his cheeks
Approaching the deadly cliff that is his jaw
Some choose to jump some choose to climb
The ones that climb cause a small burning sensation
As they cross a river of crimson
The river flows freely and runs deeply
But it also floods
Causing the crimson red to contrast with the white skin
And eventually reach another river
Flooding once again
Running freely off course
Down his body
Till it hits a cloth which separates his torso from his legs
This white cloth becomes tainted by the crimson
An ever growing stain upon a celestial world
Much similar to the boy
You can hear frightening murmurs coming from his chapped lips
Over and over he repeats the words that broke him
And as he lays there lifeless
Eyes bloodshot and staring at the world
The only message he has to say for himself is the one written across his chest
"Fucking faggot... burn in hell"
Written by the hands of a simple minded man
Trying to live a simple minded life
But it's not so easy while he's locked in a ten by ten foot cell
So this is my message to you
Why hate someone so much as to kill him just because he is different than you?
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| i love you dad |
[25 Aug 2003|03:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hey dad look at me, think back and talk to me |
] |
She sits in silence watching him
Always watching him
But when he looks back she turns away
Inside her head she's screams
Please don't go
But that's where they stay
She could never get the words to come out
His bags are packed and placed in the car
Please don't go
He turns to her before he goes
"I'll always love you
Even if I'm not here"
If you love me then why don't you stay?
He gives her a hug and gets in the car
"I love you too, dad"
She whispers as a tear rolls down her cheek
He drives away never looking back
Please don't go
Years have passed now
They don't talk to each other as much as they used to
They've seen each other only once or twice
He has a new family now
With a new son and a new daughter
Replacing the ones he had left behind
She thinks about him often
Wondering what would've happened if she had told him
Please don't go
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