Isis' Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Isis [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

"Dream a little dream." [15 Oct 2003|10:22am] Another interesting dream last night. I dreamt I was at the hospital because I was pre-registering for some surgery I had to have. I was digging through my wallet trying to find my insurance card. George gave them his card instead, but told them it might be a little weird because of something he was dealing with the insurance company on. Then later I was sent over to another desk in the same area and the lady was talking to me. For some reason though, this time I was "with" Scott, although not physically there, just in a relationship type of meaning. The lady behind the desk asked if this was our first marriage. I told her it was his third, my second and that we both had two children from the previous marriage. The lady made some comment about how brave I was taking on two additional children and then went back to her paperwork. As I stood there waiting for the rest of the instructions, I realized that Scott had never divorced either of the other two wives, and I realized that we weren't really married. It was as if we were just pretending to be because of the insurance. I started hoping the lady wouldn't realize it. Later, we were over at my parent's house. I was getting ready to leave for surgery and I guess mom was helping with the kids. Scott was sitting outside in a lawn chair and I was sitting on the ground, but leaning on his lap. He kept bending down and kissing me, reassuring me that everything would be okay. I noticed mom coming out, and told him he'd better stop kissing me because then she would know that we were more than the "Just Friends" I tell her we are. He said he didn't care who knew and continued to kiss and hold me, even when my dad came out to talk to me. It made me feel all types of warm, snuggly feelings... loved, I guess... because he actually wasn't embarassed to show his affections towards me in front of others. He had to leave to go to work and I went in to finish getting ready for the hospital. George came by and was supposed to drive me to the hospital. He was going to pick up James and spend some time with him as well, but started telling me how he was so busy and just couldn't do it right then. I was so upset with him. I kept saying, "But I HAVE to go have surgery!" But he just couldn't understand how that was more important than what he had to do. So, I left and drove to the hospital on my own. I kept thinking about how horrible I was going to feel after I woke up from the surgery and I kept thinking how happy I was that it was going to be Scott who would be there after I woke up. Shortly after that, I did wake up. I wonder what I was having surgery for. I had the feeling it was for something in the middle of my body. Hmm. Strange. post comment

"To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway." [03 Oct 2003|10:01am] Another night of weird dreams. I've been having them a lot lately, but rarely remember enough to actually write them down. Last night I dreamt that I was down in Over-The-Rhine for some sort of thing that was going on. I have no clue what it was exactly, but it was a formalish affair. The parking lot was huge, but oddly shaped. Back in a weird little cubby area they had lockers for people to lock up their belongings. I remember leaving somewhat early (partially because it was very late and a bad area of town) and I went to my locker to get my stuff. The lock had been stolen from my locker, but surprisingly, everything else was inside. I grabbed everything up and my arms were completely full. I had my pepper spray in my jacket pocket but was thinking how I'd never get to it in time if I needed to. I walked over to where I thought I had parked my car but realized it was back over closer to where I had just been. There were several guys out helping direct people into the event and also provide limited amounts of security, I guess. So, I walk back over to where I was parked. No one else was over in this dark area (maybe the other area was valet parking and this was a park-at-your-own-risk type of thing). Just as I reach the car, someone grabbed my arm and began demanding money from me while threatening me with a knife. I was trying to explain to him that although yes, I had attended the event, it was only because it was free and I was competely broke, unsure if I even had enough gas in my car to make it home (which is true and worries of it all probably carried over into my dreams). The guy got annoyed with me and stabbed me. I didn't feel any pain, but I kept trying to convience him I was telling the truth and he ended up stabbing me three more times. Finally one of the very handsome security/valet parking/whatever guys came over and got the guy away from me and yelled for another guy to call the ambulance. I remember focusing more on how cute he was than the fact that I was stabbed. Later on I had a dream that I was staying in a dorm type of place. I wasn't going to school there or really living there. I feel as if I were a guest for a short period of time. Every night we would switch rooms. I had gotten close to a couple of the girls there and we would walk around every room change and see if any of us were sharing a room. I remember one point in the dream we realized that we were staying in a four person room and three of us were staying together. We went into the room and there were four little tiny beds in a row. They were very narrow and reminded me a bit of a stretcher. There was someone in the second bed from the end. We tried to get her to switch beds so the three of us could be in a row but she refused. I don't really remember anything else of that dream. Finally, the other night I had a strange dream. I was in the passenger seat of a car and George was driving. There was a guy in the backseat who was just a friend of mine, I think. I was talking to George about something, possibly how I'm lonely. The guy was leaned up so his chest was against the back of my seat and he softly began to caress my side, the side close to the door (as if he were afraid George would get upset). So, George dropped off this guy and I. We went into my livingroom, which was like a screened tent. We watched movies while snuggling on my couch. Nothing else happened, just snuggling. I think maybe my loneliness and wanting to have someone to snuggle with (especially on these cold nights) is starting to come through my dreams. I haven't felt so lonely as I've been keeping myself somewhat busy, but I guess I still miss having someone important that way in my life. post comment

"They tease me now, telling me it was only a dream." [01 Sep 2003|09:57am] [ mood | stressed ] They tease me now, telling me it was only a dream. But does it matter whether it was a dream or reality, if the dream made known to me the truth? ----Dostoevsky Last night I had another strange dream. I dreamt that I went to some huge meeting at a church thing. I know one of the ladies that is very Christian was there with her family and so I don't know if it was homeschool related or what. The lady kept trying to do things to get me to hang around her, kind of like in real life. In the beginning of the dream, I had stopped and met C. again while there. We did some hugging and cuddling, which I really enjoyed. He gave me a Canadian/work pen that he made me promise not to let anyone else get ahold of, especially Jen. Then, I was thrown back into the middle of everything else going on. In the bathroom, while washing my hands, a large lady came up to me and was asking me all sorts of questions. At first they were normal 'Tell me everything about you' type questions. They soon became more bible related questions and I had no clue how to answer her, but didn't want to admit that. She would ask things like what specific scriptures in particular books of the bible brought me strength or motivated my life. I'd babble a bit, hoping she wouldn't see through my ignorance. I was trying to exit the bathroom and she decided she wanted me to come and sit down with her so we could talk more. I told her I was expected to be with the friend I came with and invited her as well, knowing that the friend would easily take over the conversation and I could just sit and pretend to follow along. On the way there, the large lady and I got seperated and I continued on to the kitchen. My friend was there and she offered me part of her Sprite, which I eagerly took because I was so thirsty. The bottle of Sprite was hot and instead of putting it in a cup with ice, I poored it into the cooler with the ice. I could see the little dirt flecks floating in the top of the Sprite but was so thirsty I didn't care (Kansas trip flashback?). I positioned the cooler on the edge of the sink so I could use the little poor spout thing to poor it into my cup. When I started drinking it, I realized that the Sprite had largely mixed with the melted ice in the cooler and so it mostly was just water I was drinking. About this time, they started rounding up all the kids so they could all go play soccer. Most of the parents went with them, so most places were pretty empty inside. I walked into a room that was off the kitchen and Jen was there (which is all pretty funny seeing as how this was a church activity) and I talked to her for a bit. She was sitting in the door way and I sat a few feet away from her on the floor watching tv. After a while I looked over and noticed C. had come back. He was sitting on the other side of Jen and had his arms around her. He was caressing her quite a bit. I wanted to be very jealous, but instead pretended as if nothing was wrong. After a while, C. came over and started talking to me. He kept wanting to rub my legs to feel if they were smoother now that I have the new blade for the razor and the new lotion, but I wouldn't let him because it had been too many hours since I had shaved and felt stubbly. C. left again and I went back to wandering around some. We were getting ready to all leave the meeting, which was a long, long drive home again. I wanted to go to the bathroom before we got started. In the dream I was suddenly in the very advanced stages of pregnancy (maybe due to the friend I first mentioned being newly pregnant with her fifth child.) An old high school friend showed me where the bathroom was. When I went in, I was bleeding, which I took to mean I was going into labor and was trying to calculate if I should go on home on the group bus and hope I didn't have the baby before I got home or if I would end up trying to go to a hospital there, which I really didn't want to do. While I'm sitting there trying to figure this all out, the said annoying girl I knew from high school kept trying to come in and talk to me. She was crying and complaining about something and I finally said something about not caring because I was busy trying to clean myself from all the blood. She got really upset and stormed off. In the dream, I knew the baby wasn't mine. I kept laughing to myself because I was thinking how funny it would be to tell people the baby I finally gave birth to naturally (no c-section, no medicine) wasn't even my own. I have no clue who I was carrying it for. I cleaned up and went out of the bathroom. C. was there to tell me goodbye. He hugged me and kissed me and told me how much he'd miss me. He handed me the pen and scolded me because he said I gave it to Jen, it was in her purse. I apologized and we hugged some more. He told me goodbye and how again how he'd miss me and he left. A lady near by commented how sweet it all was and I said something to her about it not being anything special because he was like that with all the girls. She laughed. I looked at the pen and noticed it was a different pen than the one he had given me originally. I still had the first. This pen had a strange flap on it that could be pulled down and gave all the company/employee information. I put it in my pocket and walked to go find where I needed to go so I could go home. I don't really remember anything after that. post comment

"...we are the dreamers of dreams." [14 Jul 2003|03:28pm] I thought it was about time I actually post something here in this journal. It's been two days since I started it but haven't quite figured out what I want to post here yet. For now, I believe, I'm going to start with some dreams I've had recently. The other night, I dreamt that we were out for a walk and saw what looked to be a small, black snake curled around a metal railing. I called John to come look at it. As he came over, the snake uncurled from its resting place and began to slither all over, mainly directly at John. Not matter which way he ran, the snake followed him. I don't remember much beyond this. In fact, I didn't even remember the dream until this morning when I was thinking of the dream I had. Sadly, at this minute, I can't even remember what my dream was this morning, even though it was so fresh in my mind when I woke. Hmm. Oh well, hopefully when things calm down I'll be back to post again. Edited to add.... I remembered the last dream. I dreamt I was at a doctor's office. I wasn't there for myself, but I went back into the examining room with whomever I had come with to wait for the doctor. While in there, a small black spider bit me. After some time, I captured the spider. I tucked the spider into a tiny glass case so that I could show him to the doctor when he finally made an appearance. When looking closely at the spider's back, you could clearly see a red mark that looked like a skull. I knew this was bad. After waiting for over an hour for the doctor, I went back out to the nurse at the front desk to ask what I should do. She looked at the spider, then let him out of the small case I had him enclosed in. He bit me again! The nurse was laughing at me, telling me how I must feel horrible, since this spider could do a lot of damage once the poisons soaked in. She asked when it happened and I told her when I first went back into the room over an hour ago. She laughed wildly and said something about how if I thought I felt like hell now that I should just wait to see what I'd feel like in a few hours when things got bad. I again asked how long until the doctor would see me. She shrugged her shoulders, and then, instead of letting me go back into the room to wait, made me start all over again in the waiting room. Shortly after that I woke up. post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]