jonas' journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
8:16 pm - no more blurty
i am no longer a blurty member! i am part of the XANGA crew...yea...tis how i roll...my new thingie is: xanga.com/RONCH_eater666 bye!!!!!!

current mood: cheerful
current music: the vandals

(comment on this)

Monday, October 18th, 2004
6:58 pm - Poemness
-I wish I could pray and have everything work out. I wish I could pray and have it take away all the things I’ve done wrong. Forgive every person that should be in jail, and take away every scar on my horrid body. I wish I could put all of my fears and doubts into something that isn’t even tangible and know that everything would be ok. But the thing is… I cant pray and have everything work out. I can’t be forgiven for the things I have done, nor forgive those who should be in jail. And as much as I wish, I cannot put all of my fears and doubts into something that I know isn’t there. Because deep down I know that I’m on my own and I can never depend on something to save me from my tragedies.-

i wrote this poem. tell me what you think of it. and be honest. people need to leave me more comments. it makes me feel special.

current mood: crappy
current music: interpol

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, October 17th, 2004
7:18 pm - brains suck
fuck...i feel like everything is closing in on me...i dont like this feeling. i thought i was over stupid oregon boy. i am over him, but not the situation...i feel like he's still here...and is fucking with me again..my chest feel like its numb. i camt stop shaking. im not ok. i will never bo ok. i cant get it out of my head. everything is so surreal rigjht now. i dont like this. i cant go back to where i was...and thats how i am headed. i cant go back...

(comment on this)

7:18 pm - brains suck
fuck...i feel like everything is closing in on me...i dont like this feeling. i thought i was over stupid oregon boy. i am over him, but not the situation...i feel like he's still here...and is fucking with me again..my chest feel like its numb. i camt stop shaking. im not ok. i will never bo ok. i cant get it out of my head. everything is so surreal rigjht now. i dont like this. i cant go back to where i was...and thats how i am headed. i cant go back...

(comment on this)

7:13 pm - brains suck
fuck...i feel like everything is closing in on me...i dont like this feeling. i thought i was over stupid oregon boy. i am over him, but not the situation...i feel like he's still here...and is fucking with me again..my chest feel like its numb. i camt stop shaking. im not ok. i will never bo ok. i cant get it out of my head. everything is so surreal rigjht now. i dont like this. i cant go back to where i was...and thats how i am headed. i cant go back...

(comment on this)

Friday, October 15th, 2004
8:00 pm - boys
today was so long. that was until i got out of school. i spent the last 4 hours with mike, shmee, dan and freshman. it was so fun...i love them so much. i dressed so sexy...hehe i was so hot today. my boobs were all like big and delicious...according to shmee. ha. dan kissed me today. *sigh* hes so pretty! (pretty meaning aswome and fun) but it has been said that he is a "player." i dont really believe that. i think he flirts with a lot of girls, but i dont think hes a player. god. it felt so nice. i miss having someone. i really like him...even though he is kind of a drama queen. its all in good times...i miss my jamie. i dont think he wants to talk to me anymore...him and roma are about to go out. ugh. im getting over it though. If it makes him and roma happy, then its all good. he is still my bestest friend, hopefully. man, i think my vagina is going to explode. im so fucking horny...and ya know There are only so many ways you can make love with your hands. and im running out of ways.

current mood: horny
current music: interpol: antics!!!

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, October 14th, 2004
9:24 pm - sweat
its so fucking hot...i dont like it. i smell like B.O. tomorrow is friday! thank god. this week has been so long...i need a shower and some nice lovin`....

current mood: horny
current music: interpol

(comment on this)

Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
6:41 pm - eh
ok...jamie is now stupid....fuck. i need to be a sexy dominatrix...yea. that would be so kool! man. then i'd have all of my slaves give me a dollar, or i'd whip them!!! whip them good! hehe. omg! i got internet back!! *esplodie* hahah! the obsession starts again!

current mood: horny
current music: ween!!

(comment on this)

Monday, October 11th, 2004
5:20 pm - dirty pants!!!
im wearing dirty pants. its kinda gross. jamie is no longer stupid. well....at least for the most part. hehe. gah, i have to finish my video segment. i really dont want to. its going to really suck and mr. biggie (hehehe!!!!) will explode. my parents are being all blobie...they are actually making sure i do my hw....and liz isnt here to do my hw for me!im so lazy, i dun wanna do it. eehhh! *twitches* i guess theres only one thing to get me out of this mess....DANCE!!! *dances like a dirty dirty girl*

current mood: thirsty
current music: ween!!

(comment on this)

Friday, October 8th, 2004
7:01 am - nark
im feeling all narky today....i called jamie last night. i got all pissed off and upset and hung up on him. he didnt deserve it, and now i feel really bad. i gave my sisters friend money to buy me "homework." she ripped me off. bah. i might not be taking video next semester. i have 3 F's ,1 D, and one C. i had a meeting with my parents and school people yesterday. that didnt go well. i want to explode into a million of little jonas pieces. and those pieces will find stupid people and explode on them. then the stupid people will explode. and then the world will explode because of all the exploding of stupid people. you think this wont happen??? beleive me, i will explode. even if i have to do it myself.

current mood: mellow
current music: PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY!

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, October 7th, 2004
6:54 am - ugh....
ugh...im really upset. jamie is about to go out with someone....this really hurts. i was just starting to not be afraid of him. fuck....im really going to start my lezbian porn thing. i hate boys so much...

current mood: sad

(comment on this)

Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
6:49 am - NARK
NARK. tis my new filler word. yay. ya know one of these days i really should get a dictionary and use real words. na, filler words are to fun. grr, im all tired like. i spent 2 hours last night rearanging my room. and im going to paint is this weekend so it was kind of a waste. man....hella crazy shit. mary-jane is sitting next to me and is being all crazy like....she is all crazy like. liz is giving me money today!!!!!! yay! i can buy "homework." hahahaha. oh man.....me and liz.....me and liz.....i need some homework.....

current mood: sick
current music: the clicking of mouses

(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, October 1st, 2004
5:04 pm - beep
woo! its fucking friday!!!!!! im so happy this week is over. im with my pacifica crew. ha. i love all of them so fucking much. i would rather be here than in san bruno. i feel like i finially found people and a place where i am accepted. and its so fun. maddie and kendra remind me of these people. god, i fucking love them so much!!! im gwtting closer at not being scared of them. i love everyone

current mood: happy
current music: mike's voice

(3 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, September 25th, 2004
5:04 pm - crazinesssssss....
el nino. tis bin a while since my last update. i feel pretty good. ya know whats irionic? i finially was starting to get over boys being dumb, i meet a boy and hes really dumb. ugh. i really need to start my lesbian porn thing...ive had a pretty good week. ive been talking/hanging out with my pacifica crew. its all in good times. school is ok. ive been really tired because of zero period. oh! and i got my camera!!!!!!! I GOT A FUCKING CAMERA!!!! YAYA!!!! its sooooo kinky! it makes me all happy like. im kicking it with shmee and mike. they is all cuddly like... its making me wanna cry...i needs a boy. they are so dumb but i want one! oh the el-nino...

current mood: hungry

(1 comment | comment on this)

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
3:26 pm - i have to pee
im at the library and i have to pee. dear god i swear the library put a curse on my bladder. meh. school is crazy. i like most of my teachers and people are ok. i try to aviod the ones i dont like. yesterday i stayed at the park and had an anxiety attack for about 3 hours and then spent about 45 min. walking around. i dont remember much of what happened. just all this shit hit me at once. i dont know...i guess its just hard to get over people and thier stupidity and evilness. i mean... fucking enid is a liar. oh jonas, its gonna be just me and you this year. we dont need meghan or deedee, blah blah blah. and after everything we said about them and everything we felt twards them...shes best friends with them.i mean not only fucked up to me, but also to them. how the fuck can you be friends with people that you cant even stand and blow off another?! we said the same things and ment every fucking word. just dont understand...it really hurts me... when she comes crying back to me she is just gonna have to deal with her shit, because shes not my fucking problem anymore.

current mood: sad
current music: thursday

(3 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, August 29th, 2004
4:44 pm - people suck
i started school on monday. ugh. it sucked. then it was my b-day, which also sucked. gah. people are stupid and i cant change that. enid is evil and so are other people. at least im making new friends that arnt drama ridden. hopefully i will get over my fear of people and anger twards people and just have an awsome year.

current mood: pissed off

(comment on this)

Saturday, August 7th, 2004
12:38 pm - its hot
its really hot today. its kinda weird because its never really that hot in san bruno, even if it is summer. im off to my cousins baby shower today. ugh. i really dont want to go. blah...i wish maddie or someone would call me to kick it. i lost my cell phone yesterday. its probly somewhere under my bed...i dont feel like looking for it.i think im going through another iron madien phase. it ....ing rocks!!!!

current mood: bitchy
current music: iron maiden!!!

(1 comment | comment on this)

Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
5:37 pm - i gotta pee
every time i go to the library i always have to pee. i got the stellastarr cd!!!!! *esplodie* it kicks ass. liz came back from the jesus place. she seems all pissed off like and not liz everytime i talk to her now. im supposed to meet her today, hopefully things will be back to normal. life has been ok. i feel pretty good. i really want to go to the cure concert. interpol will be there!!! i want to go so fucking bad. does anyone know how much tickets are?

current mood: good
current music: stellastarr

(comment on this)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
6:16 pm - YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!
*spazes out* jeremy e-mailed me back!!! gah!! i cant believe it! he said sorry and we can be friends!!! gah!! *im all happy like!!! i feel sooo good...hehehehe. on another note, my dad is a fuck face. i got in the fucking biggest fight with him yesterday...god...i hate him. he expects the whole fucking world to revolve around him. and the only time he really talks to me is when he is out of it....i dont know, i just want a real father. thats all ive ever wanted. even when i was little he was like this....dad's are supposed to protect you from evil and hurtyness. i want him to care. i want him to love me...and every fucking day i get my hopes up and they just fucking come crashing down on me. my dad is a retard. i cant change that, so i just have to get used to it. FUCK!! enid is crazy!! omg, why is she being all buddy buddy like with meghan and deedee??????? I DONT UNDERSTAND!!! SHE THINKS THE SAME THINGS AS I DO!!!! OMG!!!! people are talking about them and being all buddy buddy like with them. i dont understand!!! that is just going to hurt meghan and deedee, and maybe even you if they fucking hear anything about you saying shit. this is totially insane. im not saying she cant be friends with them, im saying that she thinks the same as i do. and i thought she was going to no be friends with them anymore...im so confused. you hate them, yet youre willing to kick it with them and fucking lie to thier faces. i do not understand anything anymore. this is totially insane. im not targeting anyone specific, but people need to make up thier mind and not say shit. this is fucking recockulous.

current mood: restless
current music: the who

(2 comments | comment on this)

Friday, July 16th, 2004
5:11 pm - fwe
fwee!! today beith friday! only one more week of summer school! yay! then its sleeping in and trying to teach myself guitar. marc was supposed to call me back but he never did...that makes me feel all sad like. i really miss him. oh well. i cant wait for liz to get back from jesusness. god if i was her, i'd make all of them crazy christians athiests. i dont even know why she is going to church camp AND teching hobo's about jesus. she is the most angery athiest i know! ....! she's wose than me. i cant wait for her to get back. i wanna go to santa cruz with her and go on rides all day.

current mood: geeky
current music: pink floyd

(1 comment | comment on this)


> previous 20 entries
> top of page
Blurty.com