Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Lauren's Blurty:

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Friday, March 2nd, 2007
9:40 pm	John on UD majors May I make a statement or two on this "UD Major" issue that has seemed to offend "some" people? Being a UD graduate in both the arts and sciences (BA English and BS Environmental Science) with a minor (as if minors are even important) in Environmental Engineering, I'd like to think I have some experience to share. BTW, I also have an MS in Environmental Science and Policy from Johns Hopkins and am currently a Ph.D. student in the field of Climatology. I WORK in the field of environmental engineering and I maintain an active pursuit of literary criticism, while keeping in contact with graduate students and Post-doc English and Psychology students. I have many friends who graduated law school and medical school (not simultaneously of course). To make a long story short; I make more than every arts person I know and I don't make 60k a year. In the real world, 60k is a lot of money, even for a fresh-baked Ph.D. student in the sciences. To say that graduating law school ensures you a 6 figure job is absolutely absurd, no matter the prestige - I know, I have friends from Georgetown Law who got out grossing 75-80k/yr. The point: no business writer, no english major, no journalist, no BA in psychology, no accountant, no entry-level lawyer, no arts degree I have ever heard of has earned anybody great salary or the knowledge of how to do anything real. Anybody who thinks they know anything because they have a bachelor's in something really knows significantly less. The bachelor's in arts for many many degrees (not all) has become the modern GED. It's easy, it's accessible, it’s cheap and it's relatively useless. DelTech offers programs that provide skills training in medical fields that BACHELOR's kids don't get until they pass all the fucking tests they need for Med school. Let's face it -- tradesmen contribute necessary, knowledgeable and valuable social inputs whereas lawyers, english teachers and accountants are really just social commodities provided for the convenience of lazy people who didn’t learn simple things themselves. Police maintain the law and order, not lawyers, people could balance their own check books without accountants, people can interpret and learn literature themselves, they don't need english teachers. The list goes on and on! I can't believe that people don't see that. English as a major (and many other humanities) are easy degrees that anybody can get through. The majority of the time (>99.9%), they'll never result in a $60k a year job right off the bat! Entry-level business majors in business fields of accounting, etcetera typically pull-in less than 40k, if that. English teachers (even doctoral-level college teachers) at the entry level also make less than 40k - close to it if they are LUCKY! Psychology -- wow, even more of a joke major. Fashion?? Come on! I don't even have to be in the field of fashion to see that the economics of the field itself render entry-level job pay at the poverty level. That's why there are "starving artists" collections and showings, etcetera. These programs aren't competitive, they're flooded. There’s a difference. Competition is healthy whereas a flooded field is absolutely detrimental (i.e. the law field has been flooded with lawyers so that many lawyers make very little money or are placed in low-level positions, or the field of english, english literary criticism and creative writing has become watered down by political correctness leading to the obfuscation of literary truths and the progression of literary expansion). Why, John, dare you say such a thing when you have a degree in the arts yourself? Because that's the truth. You graduate with a degree in the arts from the bachelor's level to the Ph.D. to the Esquire and you've turned yourself into a social commodity that rarely provides any tangible social input. For people who never had to work a real job or buy their own car or pay their own way or deal with the realities of life (usually privileged, spoiled kids with rich parents who never grew up even though they could pass a BA of Bullshit) typically don't understand these things. I hope this clarifies a few things for those of you out there who want to say that english and fashion and accounting is as purposeful and societally necessary as trades people. The world functions around those who DO things, not pseudo-socialist, lazy hippies designing noodle art, free-verse slam poetry and mangled post-modern dresses. Go to school for the betterment of yourself and society and earn what you're worth, because nobody just deserves some fictitious 60 or 100k/yr because they went to some “special” school. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
6:02 pm	Well, we did it. John and I bought a house. I'm still trying to get over the shock of it but there it is on paper, black and white, plain as day. It's the cutest house ever. Three bedrooms, one bath, but it's only me and John so what more could we need? He called me when I was on my way home from the barn, asked me if I was in a good mood and then told me not to freak. 'I was driving around today and I passed an open house…and I went in…I hope you like it because I want to put a bid in on it'. Of course I was pissed off because we were going to wait until next spring to even THINK about buying a house…but I went to look at it on Wednesday of last week and fell head-over-heels for the place. It’s one mole from John’s work and four from mine. I’ll be riding my bike on the days I don’t have class. It's got a great yard, new kitchen and I’ll have my own washer and dryer! I get excited about these things. The inspection was today and the house passed with flying colors – that was the last thing we needed to seal the deal. Settlement is March 31st. We’re going to do that in the morning and then spend the rest of the day painting. I took the day off, of course. Our stuff should be moved in by the end of the weekend and then this summer, once the house is exactly how we want it, we’ll have a housewarming party and our parents will meet for the first time. I think it’s weird that John and I have been together for 3 ½ years and our families have never met. They’ve never really had the opportunity to though so I guess it’s not too bizarre *sigh* We went out Sunday and bought a couch, love seat, bedroom set and kitchen table. I need to clean my car out and start packing things. I will miss living with my Mom-Mom very much though. As excited as I am about living with John and having a house of my own, I am really sad about having to leave her. I know she has her own life and won’t be bored but I know what it’s like to live by yourself after having someone there all the time and then being alone. But there’s a difference between aLONE and being lonely. And I know she’ll be fine. She’s keeping Gabbie so at least there will be another body in the house. My Target list is so freaking long…they should make new-house starter kits. Coffee pot, cleaning supplies (for my OCD), microwave, vacuum…stuff like that. In other news, I am loving life out at the barn. Even getting there at 7:30 in the morning isn’t so bad. I feed the beasts before they tear the barn down, turn them out and do the stalls. Sue and I do a Wawa run after that and spend the next few hours riding until the horses have to come in for dinner around 6:00. One of Donna’s horses had Lyme’s disease and she wants me to ride her to see if getting her back in shape will make her sound again. And then she’s bringing another mare to the barn, maybe this Friday, that she also wants to get back in shape – that’s three horses I’ll be riding, maybe all in one day! I am going to be in such great shape. I think that especially living with John it’ll be good for me to be gone all day every other Sunday. I love being with him but absence makes the heart grow fonder and I certainly don’t want us getting bored with each other. The band played their first gig on Main St. a few weeks ago. It went very well and I think the boys were very pleased with themselves. Sue’s husband is our drummer (he’s also a doc at my work), our bassist is John’s friend’s little bro and the backup guitarist is John’s brother-in-law’s brother, who owns the restaurant where they played. John thinks that a gig every other weekend is a brilliant idea – HE’S not the one driving all the band shit around! I told him I would haul his crap once a month and if he wanted to do more gigs then that, he’s have to find other ways of getting his 4 guitars, 3 amps and a half stack to wherever. Do I look like a UHaul service?? So that’s what’s been going on. Bought a house, my riding has suddenly skyrocketed and John’s band has finally played out. Life is good, what can I say? (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
12:38 pm	You've Changed 76% in 10 Years Compared to who you were ten years ago, you've changed a great deal. In fact, you're probably in a completely different phase of your life - and very happy about it! How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years? (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
12:15 pm	These entries are becoming few and far between – things are so crazy and hectic right now and I just can’t keep up. I have no energy by 4:00 most days but I’m hoping that with warmer weather (God-willing) I’ll perk up some. I took the job at the barn. I’m working Thursday nights, Saturday afternoons and all day every other Sunday from 8am turn-out until 8pm bedtime. I’m riding every day I work though, which is awesome. Splash is a fun little Appaloosa and he’s very good at reminding me exactly how out of shape I am. I went from hellin’ around on Falcon, a horse who took off like a shot with a simple cluck to Splash, who needs spurs, a whip and a good pony-kick every once in a while to get moving. He will however, become a much easier engine to start once I get fit again. I really am growing quite fond of the guy. He’s smaller than I’d like, 14.2hh, but he takes up my leg well enough and he has a good bit of training on him so until I outgrow him talent-wise, he’ll do very nicely. His owner thinks he may have been abused in his younger years. He complains a lot when the girth gets tightened but so do a lot of horses who’ve had very normal upbringings. What concerns me is his food aggression. Splash can’t have treats unless they go in his bucket because you could lose a hand as fast as that horse lunges. He’s getting better with me because I’m really taking my time, letting us get used to each other, talking to him, petting his neck after I put the saddle on but before I tighten the girth, lots of praise and positive reinforcement. No one will mess with him in the stall though because he bites. I can imagine it’s tough for Splash, having such an attitude beaten into him (at least that’s what we think). He’s a cutie though and very good under saddle. I hope that I can get him to trust me and that he’ll understand that I really want to build a relationship with him in the ring and out of it – that he’s not just a pony to get on, jump a few poles on and get off. I fell in love with a lutino cockatiel at the pet store down the road. I went back a few days later and bought her. John and I are still thinking of names and we want something Irish. I am however taking her back tonight because I think she’s sick. She sneezes a LOT and that’s weird for a bird and the inside of her nostrils get bright red afterwards and I don’t know if she’s getting nosebleeds. So they’ll fix her for me while she’s still under warranty. I got her new toys and treats today so when she comes home, she’ll have tons to do. John’s already very taken with her. He refers to himself as ‘Daddy’ which I of course think is adorable. On an entirely different subject, you know what I absolutely hate? When someone asks me where I’m going to school. I say DelTech and they go, ‘oohhh’, like they fucking feel sorry for me. Here’s a little rant for you people: I didn’t choose to go to a community college, first of all. UD doesn’t offer my major and I’m certainly not going to go to school for something I’m not interested in. It took me a long time to choose ultrasonography and there’s no way I’m going to change majors because DelTech is just ‘eh’. Another thing, some of you idiots are getting your Bachelor’s in things like English and Music. Majors that don’t require hardly any effort to graduate from. What will you gain from this? Just because you have a Bachelor’s doesn’t mean you have a skill. If you end up grad school then I congratulate you. When I graduate, I’ll be certified in a technology. This degree program prepares me for a carreer right out of college making a REALLY good salary. Don’t you wish you could say the same? I could absolutely get accepted to UD but why bother? I think going there would ruin the campus for me anyways. Living on Main St. makes me hate being there anymore and I do love the campus itself. I am very happy with myself, my major and my school so all you nay-sayers can just shut the hell up. K? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 18th, 2007
12:10 pm	It’s been awhile since I’ve written – the reasons being spit equally between lack of time and just having nothing new to write about. I can’t say either of those things have really changed but I figured I’d might as well update on the few things that have been going on recently. Donna decided to take on the barn for the next year and she offered me a job. I work there as much as I can (which basically translates to two Sundays a month and doing a few chores while I’m there Thursdays and Saturdays with Sue) and I can have free rein of her horse, Splash, and possibly a filly she may be bringing to the farm. Pros: I can ride pretty much whenever I want My riding will greatly improve I can take lessons again My muscles that have been dormant since Kate’s will come back I’ll be outside with fun people doing fun things Cons: I’ll be giving up all of my Sundays as the other two are dedicated to Stream Watch I have to be there at 8am for morning feed and turn-out John will get pissy because he thinks working and not getting paid with actual money is a waste If I take lessons, it’s going to require me to spend money that I told John I’d be saving for our house (but I don’t HAVE to have lessons…I just want them) It looks like basically it comes down to ‘do I want to give up my free time?’ And I’m not sure yet. It’s a great offer and I think that once spring and summer come around that I’ll feel more up to it – but I don’t want someone else grabbing my opportunity in the mean time. I’m going out there tonight and we’re going to pull Smilesworth’s mane (it’s a two person job – he’s a head tosser) and check Cidor since he pulled his front shoe off the other day and just got it back on this morning. And there’s always tons of other things to do. This weekend should pretty much be kick-ass. I’m making a fabulous Italian dinner tomorrow night but I can’t list what I’m cooking incase John happens across this page. I have a whole night planned out for us and I think it’s going to be much needed and hopefully romantic :) Saturday, Leslie is coming to visit and she may or may not be bringing Eddie…either way, we are going to hit the bars and have a good ol’ time. I don’t want to count my eggs before they hatch but Sunday should be mostly free. We’ll have dinner at John’s mom’s like usual and hopefully go for a run before that… Frankie says relax, after all… (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
12:16 pm	My New Year's Resolutions: - be a better girlfriend - stop eating fast food - stop eating candy - be a more dedicated runner - make more use out of my gym time It doesn't sound TOO unattainable...does it? (Comment on this)
12:07 pm	Goodbye 2006 Saw Night at the Museum Friday night with John, Jarvis and Kris. Very good movie. Saturday was fun - John went to band practice, I went to the barn. I hand-grazed Cidor while Sue had her lesson since there is virtually no grass in his field and I feel bad for him...we went out on a trail...we've named ourselves the 'Twilight Hacking Club' since it's always dark by the time we get back. Sunday was...fun and then it wasn't and then it was again. I went to see Phantom of the Opera with John's family and then we had a really nice dinner at Pesce's. John and I were going to go home but then he dragged me to Apoo's to ring in the new year and then decided he wanted to leave 15 minutes before the ball dropped! I was not happy. We slept until about 1 in the afternoon yesterday then went over to Pete's and played pool, Scene It and 2 games of Pictionary, all of which I won. And now here I am, back at work, tired as hell and procrastinating going to the gym. So I guess I'll finish my lean cuisine and head over :/ (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
12:56 pm	I had a nice Christmas, hectic though it was. Friday night we FINALLY went out with Charles and ended up at Dunkin' Donuts. I did some last minute shopping on Saturday and Sunday Sue and I took the boys out on a trail ride down in the preserve by the barn. There were tons of people out and I have to admit, I felt like one of those people I've always been jealous of - the people that are riding their horses along the trails while I'm just walking around, wishing I was them. People who wouldn't have given us a thought if we were on foot were waving at us and we waved back and it was just such an awesome feeling. It was a beautiful day and we had tons of fun. I gave Cidor and Smilie their stockings filled with cookies and then went to my mom's for an early dinner. I was at John's until about 3:30am because everyone went to Philly for Jarrad's midnight mass and we had the house to ourselves. I woke up Christmas morning, opened presents with my Mom-Mom and then went back to my mom's to exchange gifts. I was at John's by 1pm, at his sister's for dinner by 3:30 and then at my aunt's by 5:30. We didn't leave there until 10:30. John and I both took Tuesday off so we went to the mall to spend gift cards and picked up some trash cans for his PhD project...just lazed around. It was nice. He got me a beautiful diamond ring and I gave him the Brian May guitar pedal I'd been hiding...he loved it :) (Comment on this)
Friday, December 15th, 2006
1:06 pm	Last night was fucking awesome. John and I went to Paul and Sue's so they could have band practice and we could go ride. My new chaps came in and they felt too high on the back of my knee but Sue helped me pull them down some and crinkle a little in the ankle. Anyways, we went out to the barn and I rode Cidor while she rode Mr. CrankyPantsdon'ttouchmewithabrush. Smilie cracks me up. I got Cidor to do some really pretty leg yields and a little lateral work. His ECG came out fine although it was confirmed that he does have a small heart murmur. He hadn't been ridden in 4 days but I got a beautiful fluid walk out of him and he just felt really loose and comfortable. Sue said that you can't get a walk like that out of that horse by accident so I guess we're getting used to each other! She said that he really likes me - that I have really light hands and sometimes even when she gets on he gets a little tense but he never has with me. I like that she notices those things because I want her to feel good about me riding her horse. I took him over some ground poles because it's good for him to pick up his feet and lift his shoulders over them. We have to keep the old man in good shape, after all :) Then Sue wanted to get on him and make him work a little harder so we switched horses and she asked me to get on Smilie! Cidor is Sue's friend's horse but Sue keeps him and rides him and pays all of his bills. Smilie is her own PERSONAL horse. She told me to trot him too. Later she said that she had never let anyone on him and especially not at the trot. I feel very honored :) We got back a little after 10 and I was exhausted but it was so completely worth it. Today I am working till a little after 4 and then John and I are ringing the bells for the Salvation Army for a few hours. We're supposed to meet up with Charles and his girlfriend for dinner and then go to a bar with them but if they decide not to show, John said he'll take me to dinner and a movie. Either way works for me. Tomorrow I am going on a trail ride while John practices and then we have to go guitar shopping at a warehouse in Philly for Jarvis. Sounds like TONS of fun :/ We also have Stream Watch tomorrow. I get the feeling I am going to be very tired by tomorrow night. Sunday we are going to New Hope! I love it there <3 More later. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
8:09 pm	Ok, I am SO sick of those usual questions SOME STUFF BOUT YOU NICKNAME THAT YOU HATE: biscuit...UGH. HEIGHT THAT YOU WANNA BE: 5'6" PART OF YOU THAT YOU LOVE: my lip color. weird, huh? CHILDLIFE DID YOU LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD: for the most part DID YOUR PARENTS STAY TOGETHER: no ANY SIBLINGS: 2 sisters and a brother EVER GO TO DISNEYLAND?: yes WHEN DID YOU FIGURE OUT SANTA AND THE EASTER BUNNY AREN'T REAL: don't remember but i cried FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY: sleepovers kick ass HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST LIKED THE OPPOSITE SEX: 11 or 12 WHO WERE YOUR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS: regan, leah, jami, amadine, laurie, sarah...god DAMMIT those were the good ol' days FAVORITE ACTIVITIES AS A KID: playing horses with jami and eating grass PICK ONE! SODA/WATER: water RICE KRISPIES/COOKIES: rice crispies DR PEPPER/ ROOT BEER: ddp! SPORTS/MUSIC: depends MOVIES/BOOKS: again, depends WILL TURNER/CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: captain jack, hands down CORONA/SMIRNOFF: corona JACK DANIELS/JOSE CUERVO: jd POOL/BOWLING: pool FLIP CUP/BEER PONG: beer pong MOVIE WITH FRIEND/MOVIE WITH GUY: either FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS/RELATIONSHIP: they're both pretty entertaining... TRUTH/DARE: dare COUCH/BED: bed KARAOKE/SINGING IN THE CAR: karaoke SHOWER/BATH: shower SNOW/RAIN: snow (but only a dusting) LUST/LOVE: i enjoy lusting after the person i'm in love with MONEY/BRAINS: $$$ BEAUTY/SUCCESS: beauty - i'm vain, what can i say... MAKEOUT/MORE...: more... IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER! IS THERE A CRITERIA?: yes DOES THIER PERSONALITY REALLY MATTER?: yes FRIENDS FIRST?: not necessarily HOW LONG BEFORE FOOLIN AROUND: 1st date - i'm such a skank DOES SIZE MATTER?: um...yeah... WOULD THEIR DRINKING OR DRUGS BOTHER YOU: drugs yes, drinking probably not DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE SAME TASTE IN MUSIC: there has to be something in common HOW ABOUT MOVIES: same HOW ABOUT TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS: i heart tattoos but they have to be tastful LIFESTYLE DO YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF A LOT: yes DO YOU WORK OUT: yes LIKE YOUR BODY?: mostly DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS: yes DO YOU USUALLY EAT BREAKFAST: yes WHEN YOU'RE FEELIN DOWN, WHO DO YOU TALK TO: i write in my journal. no one wants to hear me complain WATCH SPORTS?: yes DO YOU DO YOUR LAUNDRY, OR YOUR PARENTS: me LIVE ALONE, OR WITH FAMILY: family COLLEGE?: in it YOU PARTY A LOT?: enough ;) FAVORITE CELEBRITY: currently sophia bush ARE YOU A COWBOY HAT WEARING KIND OF PERSON?: i like MEN in cowboy hats with a horse under 'em HOW MANY CDS DO YOU HAVE?: who knows SUPPORT THE TROOPS?: absolutley RELIGION IMPORTANT TO YOU: yes YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY: 21 FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME: she's so high HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND ON YOUR COMPUTER: not a whole lot DO YOU WATCH A LOT OF TV?: no LASTLY DO YOU HATE REPETATIVE SURVEYS?: yes HOW WAS THIS ONE?: ok SONG THAT SUMS UP YOUR LIFE: the middle Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
12:12 pm	This weekend at the beach was much needed and over entirely too fast. I had a half day on Friday and we ended up leaving around 3:00…we picked up lunch, stopped at the liquor store on the way and finally got there a little before 6:00. After check-in we went to Dos Locos on the Rehobeth Boardwalk for dinner and then went back to the hotel and watched the season of Futurama that John had brought down. When we were walking down the steps to go to dinner, there’s like a beam that aides in holding the other floors up I guess…anyways, John went to jump off the last step and I didn’t see this but I heard a loud WHACK and then John was sitting on the ground. He had a nasty gash on the top of his head and I was just praying he wouldn’t have a concussion…he seemed okay though. We were both passed out by 11:30. Saturday we spent the day at the outlets and we went to see Apocalypto which was an amazingly well done movie. I got a lot of great deals and then we went to dinner at Crabby Dick’s – aren’t they supposed to be mean to you there? Or at least crabby? I was disappointed but what are you gonna do? We got mostly packed that night and watched old episodes of Aqua Teen and again fell asleep earlier than we intended, probably due to the amount of gin and tonics and hard iced teas that we drank. Yesterday we stopped at Grotto’s for lunch, played a few games in the arcade and mosied on home…John’s mom had her Christmas party so we hung out there for a little bit and played Monkey-in-the-Middle with Caitlin and Logan. Jarrad, John and I played football until Jarrad punted the ball into the neighbor’s yard and then he accidentally hit John in the throat with a mini basketball so that was the end of that. We set up his terrarium at his office and he’s going to get a mini chameleon, I think. Cidor is going to New Bolten tomorrow to get his heart murmur checked out. I hope the big guy will be okay. Poor ol’ man. Sue told me that when he was 9 years old, he was sold for $250,000. I can’t believe I get the privilege to ride a horse like that. And it’s not just that he’s a fancy Grand Prix horse…he’s such a NICE horse. He’s so patient and just has such a great personality. Fingers crossed… (Comment on this)
Friday, December 8th, 2006
11:53 am	The great debate 2006 Did you hear about Shamu attacking his trainer? Good for him, I say. I saw the video online. What time are you picking me up? Good for Shamu?? Are you an animal rights nut job?? Shamu attacked his trainer because he's all hyped up on adolescent hormones and wants to make "a sexy-time," so he attacks the trainer?? Put a bullet in that damn whale's head for chrissake! It's the same thing that happened with Roy and his tiger - you can't expect to put a wild animal in a 36' deep pool and expect it not to get agitated when in real life it would be in a damn ocean. A whale, no matter how many generations before it have lived in captivity, will never be fully domesticated and you can't blame it for reverting to those basic instincts every now and again. How can you say he did anything wrong when he was just being what God made him? If wild animal trainers want a 100% guarantee that they'd never be hurt by the animals they care for, especially carnivorous ones, then they shouldn't have them in captivity at all unless they are sick, injured or are being rehabilitated to be released back into the wild. Whales were not meant to be 'tamed' by people. If a person wants to see a whale in real life then they should go whale watching and see how they REALLY are, not to a park where they can pay $50 to see it jump through a god damn hoop. I am not an animal rights nut job but I am against having a whale in a little pool just so he can be exploited and the president of Sea World can get rich. What time are you picking me up? Hahaha. You're against having a whale in a pool for the admiration of people, yet think whales should be kept in pools in order for people to provide medical care. Why should we sink economic resources into any animal without expecting economic return some other way? If economic resources should be spent healing animals then economic resources should be recouped capitalizing on them as well. No mere animal, or species, is worth sinking economic resources into without expecting economic return. Sure, trainers know the risks, but if trainers get injured by their animals their animals are obviously not "domesticated" as domesticated infers public safety. Studies have shown time and time again that domesticated animals cannot be released back into nature successfully. Therefore, if a "domesticated" animal harms a person for any reason, barring self-preservation, by definition it cannot be trusted with public safety and also cannot be released into the wild. This being so, it must be killed. Bullet-to-the-face, mafia style execution of a dangerous threat to public safety and itself. Shamu most likely lives better in his ocean-front tank than wild animals that have to deal with the harsh realities of nature. He's like a spoiled, pussy, northeastern liberal who couldn't survive any other way than the most luxurious living arrangements. If he's unhappy, maybe we should release him into the wild and let him die that way. What say you? If people want to see whales in real life they should take a trip to Norway and go whaling. Whale watching's for pussies, hippies and PETA cultists. You obviously misunderstood what I meant. It's okay to keep an animal in a pool/cage while it's being rehabilitated with the intent to re-release it. How else could it be treated? You talk about economics like you didn't spend more than $1K on your cat and like you don't continue to spend money on him. Wouldn't you take him to the vet and spend however much it took to make him well if he got sick? What economic gain would you get from that? And "cutesy-wootsie dollars" don't count - I know you were thinking it, don't lie. Don't get me wrong - if an animal is injured to a point where it won't be able to survive in the wild (i.e. hunt or fall victim to a greater predator) then by all means, put it in a cage/tank and make a profit - but don't do it for the money, do it to keep the research/rehabilitation running and then whatever monetary gain there happens to be left is fine. Why shouldn't humans help those who can't help themselves? It's not like a person who's too lazy to get a job or can't because she's home taking care of her six children while her boo is out pimin'. Without people, what chance do animals have? Don't you think that God put us here to better the world? Isn't helping animals, that make so many people so happy (as companion animals or otherwise) something to be proud of? I believe that one of our purposes in this world is to help the less fortunate and you know what? People get their chances. A homeless man with no insurance gets a broken arm and walks to a hospital and they will not turn him away. An animal breaks its leg and can't walk and if not for the caring person who spots him on the sidewalk, he'd die. We can keep debating, I don't care. I'm going to stand by what I believe is right though and I don't think you'll be able to debase my argument in my mind. You can't make me think any differently. And if you become President, my first goal as first lady will be to shut down Sea World and turn it into a non-profit rescue center. So THERE. And then, as first lady, you'll give every little girl a pony, and cover the homeless in butter cream icing and sprinkles! Don't be gay, the reality is that true domesticated animals do pay back your economic input by giving you companionship, not by biting you and trying to drown you. If you think nature should not be packaged and bottled for profit because it screws up the natural balance of things, then why take in injured animals?? Once again, messing with nature. Be clear and across the board. God put us on this earth to achieve some ultimate aim that is basically unknown to humanity, so to say that he put us here to make it better for animals is preposterous. Conjecture over the purpose of humanity has no place in debate as debate is to settle realistic terms and compromise. Animals are like the ghetto mamma rearing 6 chilluns while the hubby's pimping. That's what happens all the time. Nature is incredible, but even a microorganism would eat you if it could, and then try to breed with your carcass if it was in heat. That's a great idea. Ponies for every little girl will be my second project as first lady. Did I not say that domesticated animals provide companionship and that wild animals will NEVER be fully domesticated? And did I also not say that helping those who can't help themselves was just ONE reason we are here? And not even that it's a reason - just that helping those less fortunate is just something that stems from the compassion God instilled in us. I understand that helping the sick and injured disrupts nature to some degree but if an animal that's vital to nature, whether in the food chain or because we gain some benefit from having it around (like pest control from bats, snakes and spiders) becomes endangered or extinct then wouldn't it have been worth the funds to reestablish it? I have stated before that a whale is not a domesticated animal. Neither is the tiger that bit Roy or any other animal that hasn't been living side-by-side with humans for as long as the common housecat. "The reality is that true domesticated animals do pay back your economic input by giving you companionship, not by biting you and trying to drown you." This says to me that you think I'm saying a whale is a pet. I'm not at all. They aren't and should therefore not be in captivity. The bottom line is Shamu was not in the wrong. He was merely acting on his God-given instincts. If you don't want to be bitten by a whale, don't have one in a tank. Did you know that a whale's dorsal fin is imperative to it's ability to be stream-lined and also to it's balance? In the wild, a dorsal fin will stand straight up like it's supposed to. In a tank, it will eventually fall to the side and do nothing but impair a whale's velocity. If that doesn't prove that they are not meant to be kept in a tank then I don't know what does. Do you think that a tiger in the wild would have a pacing neurosis? No. There's no reason to have cage boredom or any other kind of mental distress when you're free. If you're response does not include what time you are coming to get me tonight then I'm not going. A whale is a pet. Why isn't it? It trains and it eats and it supposedly "bonds" to a trainer or person. You can't just say that whales are wild animals while housecats are not. Both can be either. If an animal is raised from its birth as domestic, then it is domestic, otherwise it is wild. Therefore, a tiger or a whale, or even a voracious-looking ocicat can be a pet. God-given instincts aren't to drown and bite people. They are to survive, so what does biting and drowning a trainer do for Shamu's survival? Turn off the "Free Willy" and boycott the "Flicka" films that put animals in this majestic, pantheistic place where what they do is enacted from "God-given instincts." There's nothing divine about one animal, only about the entire network. Ants wage war against other ant hills, are they wild? Back away from the Disney horsie movies and go watch the slaying of Bambi's mother -- see the hate in Bambi's eyes and watch as the young buck goes on a bender, injecting himself with needley-apparatus, riding high while he snorts the cocaine off Stitch's t*ts. Who's wild now? Nothing unless it lives the wild lifestyle 365-24-7. When whales are being put up for adoption in shelters then I will believe they are domesticated pets. I am getting bored with this argument because neither of us are going to concede. I believe very strongly in what I have written and whether or not you believe it doesn't matter to me. You're only argument is to call me a PETA-loving hippie and insult me and I think that's stupid but if that's what you're going to go on, that's fine. Animals are majestic, to use your term, and I really don't care if you disagree. Maybe if you trained your domesticated animal he wouldn't be such a little bastard and sneak out of the house so much. Is your cat's God-given instinct to claw and scratch someone until they bleed simply because he doesn't want to be held? Yes it is. But his survival doesn't depend on it, does it? Absolutely not. Go watch Flicka and eat your veggie burgers and pop corn you hippie socialist animal-lover, PS. I love you even if you are a beastiac. Looks like he ran out of things to say if you ask me…does that mean I win?? (Comment on this)
Monday, December 4th, 2006
1:11 pm	Well, Charles is an official puss. He said he'll "definetly be hanging out with us Saturday night" and did he answer the phone when John called? No. Why? Probably because his girlfriend didn't feel like hanging out. Why can't he come out without her? He's a puss. It's a vicious cycle. Anyways, we went to HomeGrown for dinner and who shows up but R. The same R. that tried to get John to fuck her (she didn't know he had a girlfriend at the time) and the same R. that was trying to dance with him at Glenn's party at Stone Balloon last April while I was in Canada. I was thinking I would get the chance to get in the fight that I didn't with E. Friday night but she brought her boyfriend and therefore made no attempt to get with mine so I layed off but kept my guard up. I had only met her the one time she came to our apartment on Main St. but she apparently remembered a lot about me. Hmph, good. Glenn, Jarrad, Jarvis, Apoo and some girl that went to St. Mark's with the guys showed up and she seems very annoying...but anyways, Eric ended up hanging out with us and cut our bill like 50%. It's awesome knowing the owner :) Oh and another guy that John, Jarvis and I can't stand showed up and I thought John was going to go across the table at him for a little while...they started talking shit to each other and Jarvis and I just kinda looked at each other thinking 'well, here we go'. The little fucker tried to get out of it by telling John that he was just joking and he didn't buy it but ended up letting it go. Thank God. I don't need to be bailing my boyfriend out of jail, thank you. Then John and I headed to Deer Park and met up with Corey and some other people, stayed for about 10 minutes and then went to Iron Hill and I had to swear up and down to Corey that I would get John over to his place. So John and I went to Iron Hill and R. and her boyfriend were gone but Glenn was drunk as hell and being very annoying. He took the ring John gave me from Ireland and wouldn't give it back and a big scene got made and Jarvis was the only one that stood up for me. Glenn was being a dick and all John did was tell me that in order to get it back, I had to pretend like I didn't care about it. Well fuck that. I'm sorry that something he gave me means the world to me and that I don't want Glenn to flush it down the toilet like he said he would. I got it back eventually but I have a newfound respect for Jarvis. Not that I didn't before but I really appreciated that he'd stick up for me. He dislikes Glenn anyways. Unfortunatly Glenn came to Corey's with me and John and again, ended up causing a scene. I blew up on him and pretty much told him to fuck off and I will not hang out with him anymore. I made John promise he wouldn't either because all Glenn does is start shit and I am so sick of hanging out with immature douchebags. I guess we stayed at Corey's until about 3am and I was so damn tired from lack of sleep and all the damn drama. But I woke up at 9 on Sunday and cleaned my apartment while John took a nap. I am heading to Happy Hour with Lori after work. Maybe I'll be happy by then. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
4:19 pm	That party fucking blew - hard core. I got home yesterday at 4 from work and spend more than 2 hours primping and getting ready. And for what? The bar was only open bar for ONE HOUR and they would only serve beer and wine. That's it. After that we went to McGlynn's with Mike and Carolyn and I guess John and I got home around 1. Last night pretty much sucked. I'm hoping tonight will be better...we're waiting for Jarrad to get home so we can go out. We're supposed to meet up with Corey and I really hope we do because it's hard getting together with him, we're just all so busy. It's a shame there's not more to write about the party - E. didn't show which REALLY disappointed me and neither did the big'un so Carolyn was let down too. I guess that' it for now. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
12:59 pm	A poor orphan girl named Maria Was walking to market one day She stopped for a rest by the roadside Where a bird with a broken wing lay A few moments passed till she saw it For it's feathers were covered with sand But soon clean and wrapped it was travelling In the warmth of Maria's small hand She happily gave her last peso On a cage made of rushes and twine She fed it loose corn from the market And watched it grow stronger with time Now the Christmas Eve service was coming And the church shone with tinsel and light And all of the townfolks brought presents To lay by the manger that night There were diamonds and incense And perfumes In packages fit for a king But for one ragged bird in a small cage Maria had nothing to bring She waited till just before midnight So no one would see her go in And crying she knelt by the manger For her gift was unworthy of Him Then a voice spoke to her through the darkness Maria, what brings you to me If the bird in the cage is your offering Open the door and let me see Though she trembled, she did as He asked her And out of the cage the bird flew Soaring up into the rafters On a wing that had healed good as new Just then the midnight bells rang out And the little bird started to sing A song that no words could recapture Whose beauty was fit for a king Now Maria felt blessed just to listen To that cascade of notes sweet and long As her offering was lifted to heaven By the very first nightingale's song (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
7:59 pm	I don't think that John and I can make it through a Thanksgiving without having a fight - it blows. He has been making me so damn mad for the past week and everytime I try to talk to him about it, he ends up making me feel like the whole thing is my fault. I have this whole speech planned out and one sentence into it, he debases my argument and then even I start seeing his point...that's not right...is it? Am I so delusional that I create these scenarios in my head, make a big deal out of it and blame it on him and then think I'm right? Or am I right and HE'S the one in the wrong? He starts talking and suddenly I see his point. I'm too hard headed to admit it and I don't WANT to admit it - I want to be right because 5 seconds ago I had a perfectly good argument and now it's shot to shit. Then we give each other the silent treatment until one of us thinks of some smart-ass comment to give the other and we stay pissy at each other until one of us (usually me) concedes. I just hate being mad so I try to get us over it ASAP. Or maybe I LIKE and ENJOY being mad and that's why I instigate fights all the time. Or maybe he's just a shitty boyfriend and I'd be better off without him. I think I need to see a shrink. I'm seriously considering it. Because honestly, I don't know who's right and who's wrong. If I have a certified professional tell me that I am right, maybe I will be able to move on with my life and he won't be in it. I don't know. If he's the one in the right then I should stop arguing with him so much and go with the flow more. But if he's in the wrong then I'll have every reason to break up with him. I honest to God do not know who is right sometimes. Sometimes I just don't know what to think so I change the subject and get him talking about something lighter and we sweep it under the carpet. But I'll still be mad so I don't think anything really gets resolved, at least not in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I don't want us to break up. I love him with all my heart and I am IN love with him but I have to wonder sometimes if it's worth it. I don't feel like thinking anymore...it just stresses me out. I hate being stressed. It blows too. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006
5:27 pm	We went over Pete's house Saturday night and watched Kingdom of Heaven. Well, 'watched' is maybe not the right word…slept through might be more appropriate. Anyways, I passed out about an hour into it and had some crazy dreams within the space of 45 minutes. The one was horrible. John and I were in an auditorium/classroom and there were desks situated in a semi-circle. In each seat was someone John had slept with. It was a full house but I didn't care. That is, up until I saw L. When I realized she was occupying one of the desks, I flipped out. Because in that dream I had already been told that he'd never done anything with her. So I accused him of lying and eventually he admitted that he'd slept with her. Do you ever dream so vividly that when you wake up you swear it's real? I woke up furious at John and I guess he saw the look on my face and was very confused as to why I was so enraged. It took a second for my head to clear. I tried to play it off like, sorry, bad dream. The one before that we got married. If I was going to interpret those myself, I would say that even though I love him so much, I still don't trust him completely. The thing that happened with L. so long ago really shook me up and maybe I still haven't gotten over it. I have no choice but to believe him when he says nothing happened with her. Just like he doesn't have any choice but to believe that I never slept with Mike. I only hooked up with him while John and I were on that “break” because I was hurt and he was there and willing to be there for me. So was Brad though and I am so glad that if I was going to fuck around with someone that it was with Mike and not him. I KNOW she tried to get with him though. Why else would she have looked so spooked when I saw her at his review session last month? She literally looked like she thought I was going to jump over the table and punch her in the face. I don’t waste my energy on stupid bitches. Unless E. is at the Christmas party and tries to start something. Just thinking about her being there gets my adrenaline pumping. I am going to wear the silver dress Heather got me for Christmas a few years ago – I just don’t feel like buying a new one and the one I have is gorgeous so I think it’ll do. I have to try it on though because I’ve lost weight since I got it. I was going through my old records at work the other day and I weighed 160lbs in 2004. And now I’m down to 145lbs. Where did that all go? Not that I’m complaining. It’s going to be a busy weekend. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and then we’ve got Black Friday. John is dragging me to the mall at 4:30 in the morning and then we’re going to hit King of Prussia with his family. Saturday is riding during the day and partying into the wee hours of the morning and then Sunday we have ENSC. It pisses me off that Charles only hangs out with us when his girlfriend’s not around. He needs to get his balls back. He’s so cool to go out with but he never wants to because J. doesn’t feel like it. I remember having a pussy-whipped boyfriend. It sucked. Get a life. Gotta get to the gym. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
1:00 pm	I am going to sit here and write for the next fifteen minutes and then I have to hit the gym for the second time today. Saturday was our fall family birthday party. John came with me and we had a really good time. He and my family haven’t been getting along so great but recently it seems like things are taking a turn for the better. He wasn’t going to come to Christmas this year. While we were filling out our little lists for the stockings, my uncle asked John if he was done his list and John said he hadn’t even done one and then started to write. I told him that since he wasn’t coming to Christmas that he shouldn’t do one because he wouldn’t be there to exchange and then he told me he’d go – it would just have to be a little later in the day. I was completely shocked. When I asked him what changed his mind he just said that everyone was really cool to him and that he’d had fun with my family and wanted to come to Christmas. Huh. It seems as though things have been starting to solidify. Over the past six months I have seen such change and growth in John and it’s a little scary and a little unsettling but mostly it’s incredible. I told him that I have been waiting for this change for three years and he wondered if now that I have what I’ve wanted all along that I’ll get bored and decide it’s not what I want anymore. I can see his point but I don’t think that will happen. I am way too into this boy to let him go. It’s like we’ve all decided to say ‘fuck you’ to the past and have just gotten on with our lives and it’s such a great feeling. I went out on the trails with Sue yesterday. Cidor threw a shoe so I ended up riding Skittles, a black quarter horse. She’s cute and was very easy to manage. You don’t often meet mares with such nice temperaments. Anyways, it was great. There is such nice scenery out there and we couldn’t have asked for better weather. We saw a few red-tailed hawks, deer and the prettiest little fox I’ve ever seen. It was the brightest red ever and it followed us all around the corn fields. Sue invited me to go out on an early morning ‘holiday’ ride on Thursday (Thanksgiving). I’m off on Friday and I plan to sleep late so I think I’ll go. John has to get up early and run a 5K anyways so I’m sure he’ll wake me up on his way out (how rude). Well, it’s now 5:50 and I have to leave in about 45 minutes to get to class. I guess I should get some work done. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 20th, 2006
4:42 pm	I wrote this Friday Today is such a weird day. It doesn't feel like a Friday to me. My brother accused me of being an alcoholic - isn't that funny? Not 'funny, haha' but 'funny - ironic'? He asked what I was doing this weekend and I said, 'going over a friend's house to pregame and then I think we're going dancing or maybe just out with some people'. Somehow he interpreted that to mean that I need to start going to AA meetings. What the hell is that about? It hurt my feelings so much. Not only because I know I'm not an alcoholic but also because my father is and I am not my father. Then he said he was 'joking' and I told him that it still wasn't funny and he said, 'well I thought it was'. I left the room with an 'f*** this' before I said what I really wanted to - that just because I don't spend my weekend nights playing video games and interpreting the Bible that it doesn't make me the kind of person he said I am. Just because my idea of having a fun time is going out with friends and having a good time (but not excessively so…most of the time) that I'm a horrible person in serious need of quitting my addiction. I don't understand it. Now I know how you felt when you went out and I wasn't 21 yet and I'd accuse you of equally absurd things. I'm sorry. I understand that going to bars and hanging out with your friends over a few beers does not make you an alcoholic. Then he accusingly asked me why I was getting so defensive. Well, duh. Why do you think? I'm being called the very thing I grew up with and hated every single second of. Except in my case it's not true. Seeing my father at his worst has made me realize who I don't want to be and even though there's the theory of alcoholism being genetic (which I may or may not believe) at least I know who I will strive NOT to become. I don't get it. I guess the next time he askes what I'm doing over the weekend, I'll just tell him I don't know yet. This is riduculous. It's Monday and I'm still not over it. I guess I need to try to let it go, huh? (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
12:04 pm	I painted my room this weekend. All by myself. And I must say, it looks pretty damn good. I’m still trying to get things back to normal in the apartment and I pretty much have zero time to do it. John helped me move all of my furniture around and it really does look awesome. My drums are actually in a place now that I can access them without the potential of killing myself in the process. And the damn tadpoles still haven’t grown legs. I don’t know what to do with the little fuckers. I am at my wit’s end. I’ve had them since July and they’ve gotten much bigger but have not sprouted any appendages. And it pisses me the hell off. How long am I supposed to keep these things? I told them yesterday that they’ve got until the end of the month…then they are being released into a pond and they can become tadcicles for all I care. Aren’t I a wonderful mother? The plan was to watch the three of them grow into leopard frogs and then set two free and keep one. As of right now…well…they can just get eaten by a bird. My mom, sisters and I rented “John Tucker Must Die” for our weekly girls’ night. The idiot new girl at Blockbuster forgot to take the little plastic thing out that prevents you from opening the box. Heh, well, we opened that motherfucking box and it was no easy feat, let me tell you. Needless to say, we will be keeping that DVD. Good thing it was a great movie. The box looks like it was mangled by shrews…or run over with the lawnmower. I have also realized that Sophia Bush is really hot (and is on the cover of this month’s Maxim – whoohoo!) Anywho, I set up an appointment to schedule classes for next semester… And I decided to join the crazies and hit King of Prussia on Black Friday with John’s family… Gave up on physical therapy…I think I’ll try an acupuncturist next… And shitfuck, my car payment was due today. Well there’s the update for now. I will update again when there’s more interesting stuff to be told (but please, no drama). L. (Comment on this)