Lindsey's Blurty
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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in
Lindsey's Blurty:
| Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 | | 9:05 pm |
JT , Tom
It has been crazy lately, The way I feel has just been emotionally draining First w/ Tom... That whole blow out just makes me sick, Its like why are you here? lately I just feel like ripping my hair out whenever I talk to him, Now after the blow out whenever we talk its like Why did we even fight? Do you even hear me ? Nothing has changed expect for the fact that he says Sweetie or babygirl after each sentence Whats the point in tellin me you when you cant even tell me that rest? all It does is upset me ..to the point where someone else has to come and fix what you left behind, What he left behind is alot of questions and whys that I dont want to know the anwsers to anymore. I am so wored out that I dont even want to think about him anymore I dont even want him near me half the time, I dont want to deal with his excauses and reasons why we cant be together or why we cant talk about it anymore, The truth is, he hasnt been here the last 3 years b/c he made the choice not to be, Other people were here when he wasn't.. when he would make up excauses on why he 2 busy, Thats the things I remember cause tryin to remember the good things doesnt cut it when they stop and the only things left are the excauses...
Than today I find out JT's in the hospital b/c he got into ta car wreck and all I can do is cry, The ony guy who has been there the last few months is him, and he has been there everytime I needed him, tryin his hardest to make me smile , happy... He stayed up the whole night w/ me after Tom and I had that blow out, He sat there tellin me I am great , how some lucky guy would be to have me, that I am worth more than a simple sorry, He was the one to listen and Make me happy when I was sad. The next day he even wrote me a poem sayin how much he cared. He takes the time to e-mail me or whatever to tell me he misses me and is thinking of me. He got into a car wreck last night and I am the one person he tells his bro to make sure I know what happen...That he was sorry he wasn't able to call , that he would be okay and that he would be thinking of me .. Who does that? I mean he in the hospital w/ 6 broken ribs and a arm that is broken yet... he is worried about me? DAMN makes you wonder... I do know this , from everything I've seen so far of JT lately.. If things keep going the way they are .. he is going to be my Next Tom expect probably something more... | | 9:01 pm |
Its been a while since I wrote in here, | | Saturday, July 17th, 2004 | | 10:58 pm |
fun fun fun
Last few nights have been crazy!!!! it wasn't even 5 hours after my parents left before my friends came over . First they kept tryin to wrestle my dog and one of them was wasted and kept telling this girl to spank him.. Than they Kidnapped me !!! doing one 180's with me the car.. the whole time I am screaming smacking the shit out of bryan, than they bring me back home and pushed me out of the car.. their like "Were doing this mafia style"..dumbasses!! Go inside and Linds is on the computer trying to find out who was "suppose to come over" Good part about it was Linds and I walked Max... bad part is I didnt get to bed till 5 am and got up at 8 to go to work. Should have seen me I was dragin ass like crazy.. I was so freakin tired I was buzzing high with engery .. I was happy and didnt know why.. it was great! I came home andI passed out Than last night well. I was alittle buzzed ..I am sorry I saw the Volka and was Like wooo me want me want.. The way I see it is I got a few more weeks before school starts back up, than hey I dont get to have as much fun so I am partyin my ass off!
Current Mood: dorky | | Thursday, July 15th, 2004 | | 4:40 pm |
SLEEP
I think I need to start to get some sleep.. so I stop sleeping in till 2 in the afternoon. what was it ? Monday I went out to dinner w/ brett than we watch along came polly..than the boy refused to take me home while talkin to me about his g/f so I didnt get home till 2 am Than on Tuesday I got ahold of my mother car decided to take Lindsey and Her Bro and Geroge out for a little drive.. we get on the highway and guess what they closed it down we got stuck for 4 hours on the highway It was crazy, I got bored and just turned up the music started to dance. I tryed to get Lindsey to but she refused b/c her b/f was there I am like who cares? If he is going to get jealouse over you dancing than screw him ....he goes to clubs all the time and dances why cant you? It was crazy everyone just got out started talking to over people , people were going into the woods, there was a fight.. I had a blast, Than last night I went over to see Elica and the baby. Man that baby is so cute!!! we went out last night ...It was soo gross the baby kept throwing up on me I am like ewwww kept running back to the bathroom cleaning the baby and me off than would walk out. She start throwing up again The cool part is she asked me to be her maid of honnor in her wedding I was like SWEET! It has been a crazy week!!! With my parents leaving town It going to be even more crazyer!!! HOPEFULLY I'll be able to get some sleep
Current Mood: bouncy | | Sunday, July 11th, 2004 | | 11:09 pm |
lalala
I went shopping w/ Lindsey who was bitchin and whinning the whole time... because I was at the mall actually shopping.. woah who would have thought I did get some x-mas gifts... and a really good price 40 bucks for 4 things...Not bad
I met this really interesting man who was talking to me about my future job and how he makes his money Jason came over..I think he is going to stop freaking out now that he wont have 50 people in his house ..lol I had fun this weekend just shopping and relaxin and meeting new people I love meeting new people.. I think its neat to find out about different people it shows how different we really are or how much alike we can be
Current Mood: happy | | Saturday, July 10th, 2004 | | 4:51 am |
weird ass night
So I am getting ready to go over to Lindsey's to say Happy b-day so I could go over to Joshua's to say bye than off to bed I would have gone.. Naw I get out of the shower and Isee Jason running down my stairs.. I am like alright why is he here.. I mean in a year and a Half the boy has never just come over to my house... Come to find out he came over b/c he hadn't seen me in 2 days and couldnt get ahold of me on the phone.. This is very sweet and I love it to death.. expect I am weirded out b/c I am not used too it.. so Jason thinks I am mad la de duh... So I go to leave after Jason leaves and Lindsey online whinning about how she couldnt get ahold of me and its 1 Am So I said screw this and go over to Joshua's it was a good time we hung out and well he decdied to be stupid and say perv things to me only b/c he is leaving and wont be able to see my face when I want to beat his ass to make things weirder we actualy sat down and talked about things we werent able to work out in the friendship before but its all good now he is going to come back and vist so day .. in like 20 years so We are all good Oh yeah I come home to my puppy whoo wont go to sleep even tho he is tired as hell because I am up
Current Mood: amused | | 4:41 am |
| | Friday, July 9th, 2004 | | 10:29 pm |
Josh
So Joshua leaves torrmorrow. Honestly, i've been skipping out on saying goodbye... mainly because I dont want to say bye..i've tryed not to think about it after all the shit we have been threw and I cant say bye!! sounds cheap right? I dont know, Its hard I cant believe he is leaving even when I had the chance too I didnt stop him as hard as it was I didnt only because I know deep down its better for him not to be with me i'd only be keeping him here for me and Not even I can do that...speically with the last 2 years I am not going to ask someone to stay when I havent even given them my all he is probably one of the good friends I have.. that could have been more
Current Mood: sad | | Wednesday, July 7th, 2004 | | 12:32 pm |
relantionships SUCKS!!!!!!!!
I never understood why people feel the need to do stupid things, than feel bad about it? One thing that always got me was when some guy would cheat on me than come back cryin and begging for me to take them back...It sorta like So now I mean something after I got hurt? Sometimes It just felt like they were more worried about their rep than whether what they did was right or wrong. The funny part is normally the next time I run into my ex ...well he is now enagged to some girl
Everyone wants someone, everyone needs to feel loved at some point is that why almost all my friends are now married , living with or have a kid ? I've been out of high school for only a year and I think there is maybe about 2 of my friends who Aern't married , living with or have a kid. In the past year I've gone to probabbly 10 plus weddings everytime I go to one I am sitting there going can these marriages really work out? the kids are like 19..
These are the same people trying to hook me up with Mr. Right. I meet so many different guys and there is so many of them that likes me yet, I dont end up talking to them for more than 2 weeks everyone askes why or why I am still single? the reason is because none of them are worth my time or can even catch my interest I want someone who is kindhearted, has a backbone and is going someplace yet can sit down and just listen to me talk and have fun for hours on end someone who walks in the room and sees me and is taken back because I Look so pretty that day someone who just sends me flowers just because
This is why Jason amazes me because he can cuddle up and just hold me the way he looks at me lets me know he loves everything about me He can just make everything better like there is nothing to worry about than with me sitting right there he can turn around to someone and be a total jerk to someone who is pissing him off than turn around and be an angel to me .. I love it .
But even with all this, I sometimes wonder if I am gonna be the 25 year old single lady. when all her friends are married and having great times with their kids
Current Mood: amused | | 3:58 am |
Peoples Choices
We meet alot of different people in our lifetimes, yet we let so many of them affect our lives in such ways that in the end we, ourselfs ask why we let them affect us like that. Growing up I used to want to be someone I am never going to be. Now I just want to be myself. Over the years I've come to realize that it doesn't matter about though people anyways. Sometimes this makes me wonder about people. Like why do girls freak out over some loser guy who dumped them, specially when the guy is never really going to amount to nothing anyways. Better yet why do guys feel the need to sleep around and drink like retards... Like its really going to make them cooler when they are 24 and too drunk to pass college.
In my life there are things like Why does it still bothers me when my ex who I only dated for 4 months and never really had a relantionship with tells me he met someone else? Its like he tells me that and I pretty much think to myself.. time to go get drunk now bye! Now chances are I am not going to drink nor really think about this other than when I see him. Yet it still makes me wonder why this would bother me speically since seeing some kid get run over in the street would bother me more than if he were to die.
Than there is things like why is it when I stopped giving a rats ass about whether or not Someone likes me or If some girl is better than me.. or if my b/f has more and started caring about going to school , making good grades and working that now I've become some less of a friend to these people ... than they feel the need to prove some point like I am a child who needs time out. In the end I just end up laughing and saying F off anyways so why do they do it?
Not everyone is like this, I know plenty of people who are just themselfs. Who if I were ever to need them they would be there for emotional, fun ,etc support When I am around these people they make me remember why I want to be myself. Why I dont care for thoughs self-centered pricks who just want up my ass anyways..These are the people I call my friends or my " buddys"
With them I dont have to worry about anything. Cause I know they are just around to have a good time. They feel the same way about 90% of the stuff I do. If they dont, they explain why and its all good Yet these are the same people who have Idiots for friends... I guess no one is perfect
Current Mood: amused | | 3:35 am |
Peoples Choices
We meet alot of different people in our lifetimes, yet we let so many of them affect our lives in such ways that in the end we, ourselfs ask why we let them affect us like that. Growing up I used to want to be someone I am never going to be. Now I just want to be myself. Over the years I've come to realize that it doesn't matter about though people anyways. Sometimes this makes me wonder about people. Like why do girls freak out over some loser guy who dumped them, specially when the guy is never really going to amount to nothing anyways. Better yet why do guys feel the need to sleep around and drink like retards... Like its really going to make them cooler when they are 24 and too drunk to pass college.
In my life there are things like Why does it still bothers me when my ex who I only dated for 4 months and never really had a relantionship with tells me he met someone else? Its like he tells me that and I pretty much think to myself.. time to go get drunk now bye! Now chances are I am not going to drink nor really think about this other than when I see him. Yet it still makes me wonder why this would bother me speically since seeing some kid get run over in the street would bother me more than if he were to die.
Than there is things like why is it when I stopped giving a rats ass about whether or not Someone likes me or If some girl is better than me.. or if my b/f has more and started caring about going to school , making good grades and working that now I've become some less of a friend to these people ... than they feel the need to prove some point like I am a child who needs time out. In the end I just end up laughing and saying F off anyways so why do they do it?
Not everyone is like this, I know plenty of people who are just themselfs. Who if I were ever to need them they would be there for emotional, fun ,etc support When I am around these people they make me remember why I want to be myself. Why I dont care for thoughs self-centered pricks who just want up my ass anyways..These are the people I call my friends or my " buddys"
With them I dont have to worry about anything. Cause I know they are just around to have a good time. They feel the same way about 90% of the stuff I do. If they dont, they explain why and its all good Yet these are the same people who have Idiots for friends... I guess no one is perfect
Current Mood: amused | | 3:35 am |
Peoples Choices
We meet alot of different people in our lifetimes, yet we let so many of them affect our lives in such ways that in the end we, ourselfs ask why we let them affect us like that. Growing up I used to want to be someone I am never going to be. Now I just want to be myself. Over the years I've come to realize that it doesn't matter about though people anyways. Sometimes this makes me wonder about people. Like why do girls freak out over some loser guy who dumped them, specially when the guy is never really going to amount to nothing anyways. Better yet why do guys feel the need to sleep around and drink like retards... Like its really going to make them cooler when they are 24 and too drunk to pass college.
In my life there are things like Why does it still bothers me when my ex who I only dated for 4 months and never really had a relantionship with tells me he met someone else? Its like he tells me that and I pretty much think to myself.. time to go get drunk now bye! Now chances are I am not going to drink nor really think about this other than when I see him. Yet it still makes me wonder why this would bother me speically since seeing some kid get run over in the street would bother me more than if he were to die.
Than there is things like why is it when I stopped giving a rats ass about whether or not Someone likes me or If some girl is better than me.. or if my b/f has more and started caring about going to school , making good grades and working that now I've become some less of a friend to these people ... than they feel the need to prove some point like I am a child who needs time out. In the end I just end up laughing and saying F off anyways so why do they do it?
Not everyone is like this, I know plenty of people who are just themselfs. Who if I were ever to need them they would be there for emotional, fun ,etc support When I am around these people they make me remember why I want to be myself. Why I dont care for thoughs self-centered pricks who just want up my ass anyways..These are the people I call my friends or my " buddys"
With them I dont have to worry about anything. Cause I know they are just around to have a good time. They feel the same way about 90% of the stuff I do. If they dont, they explain why and its all good Yet these are the same people who have Idiots for friends... I guess no one is perfect
Current Mood: amused |
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