10:06am 01/04/2003
mood: melancholy
music: Minister, Pachelbel's Canon in D techno
Well well well... it's time to say goodbye. Perhaps you've noticed that several entries are missing... I've deleted them. I'm not going to update this journal any longer--there's no point. I refuse to censor myself any more than I did before, so rather than keep this thing going, expressing only PART of what I feel, I'm going to just stop all together. Heh.. I can't even say what I want to say in my goodbye-entry, because I don't even know who's reading this. And so, I say farewell to you, readers. It was fun while it lasted.

Love always,
System Down...   
02:43am 28/03/2003
mood: numb
music: SoaD, Chop Suey
I feel... off. Like something in me isn't working right. I've been wandering around for the past few days feeling kind of spaced out... heh... space monkey. So yes... I'm in space monkey mode, and it's getting kind of old. I dunno.... I talk to certain people, and it's like I'm watching myself speak, or type in the little AIM window, and I don't know how it is that I'm speaking or typing coherently... because I'm not THINKING coherently. I think I've been going to bed too late, and then getting up too early. I need to just SLEEP for a good 14 hours or so... but I know I can't... not for a very long time... I have too much WORK to do. I have too much SHIT to deal with. Stupid school. Stupid everything. Ever want to just curl up into a ball and just... sleep till you can't sleep anymore... or cry till there's nothing left in you to let out? I think I'd like to do both... I haven't cried in a long time... not since last semester, and it was because of something stupid.. I was watching a sad movie or something. So that really didn't count. No, the last time I REALLY CRIED was like... 2 years ago. I feel stupid for crying over that, so I'm not going to say what it was I was so upset about. Just believe me... it wasn't worth crying over. (and no, it wasn't ANYTHING at all to do with a guy)...ugh. I'm so tired of feeling this way... mainly because I don't feel like I should be allowed to feel this way. There is no justification for the way I'm feeling right now-- I should be HAPPY. There are other people here who are ALLOWED to feel crappy, dammit. I just feel like I'm being a whiny little bitch. And that's not cool. Honestly-- what the hell is wrong with me? I'm single, but I'm happy with that; my workload here is NOT that bad, usually; I have some AMAZING friends here... I SHOULD BE HAPPY, DAMMIT!!!! I don't even know what I am... I'm not happy, but I'm not depressed... I'm just... blah. I'm going home this weekend... maybe the time away from here will help me sort out my feelings. You know what? I just realized why it is that I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to bitch... it's because the problems I'm having are the same problems that EVERYONE is having. Everyone else is able to deal with life, so why can't I lately? Ugh, I need to be rebooted or something. .::*SYSTEM DOWN*::.
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11:22am 27/03/2003
mood: crappy
music: The Real Folk Blues, Mae Yamane & SEATBELTS
Oh me oh my. I feel dead. I really don't have much to report at the moment... just that I feel dead. My roommate isn't here, which makes things kinda boring, but it's nice to be alone for a while. *sigh* I should really clean up all the junk that's strewn about my floor... my room was very clean only 2 days ago... perhaps I'll clean it later. Yeeeessssssss... laaaaaaater. For now, I'm gonna lay in bed and feel dead. Parting is such sweet sorrow...
Tra la la la laaa   
10:53pm 22/03/2003
mood: content
music: Eddie Money, Take Me Home Tonight
Hmmm.... it's been a few days since I last updated.... so... what's new in the ever-so-exciting life of Ink? Well, in celebration of St. Patrick's Day, I went out and got my navel pierced. Ah, there's no better way to commemorate one's Irish roots than by going out and having a 14 gauge needle shoved through their stomach. Hey, at least I wasn't drinking.

So tonight Skittles and I went down to The Blue Frog to see Matt Sneed play. Excellent show. Check out his website-----> Alright, it's time to go watch SE7EN. Ever see it? I hope I'm not too traumatized by it. Pleasant something, peoples. I'll be back later.... JUST WAIT AND SEE!!!! RAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loves always, Ink.
Back in the doooorm   
07:23pm 16/03/2003
mood: congested
music: TANK!, Cowboy BeBop OST
*sigh*... I'm back at school again. Ugh. I don't want to BE here. I don't wanna do WORK. GRAAAAH! Oh well. so anyway, I haven't updated in a few days.... some stuff actually HAPPENED too! Like Friday night...

Friday I drove up to Skittles' house... meh heh. It was oodles of fun, I tell you. OODLES! we went to her uncle's house, where I met her mom's side of the family. Skittles has a very cool family, I've decided. Her uncle was impressed by my ├╝berbaggy pants:) We ate some tasty pizza, hung out with the family, then made our way to The Music Man's house... Heh. The Music Man has some coooooool friends. And his daughter is absolutely adorable. This was my first meeting in-person with The Music Man, and I must say, he kicks ass. Oh yeah... I gotta call that kid later... so yeah, we left his house at about 3 or so, then went back to Skittles' residence, where we crashed. The next day (Saturday) Skittles had a hair appointment, so I stayed at her house and slept. Well, I tried to sleep.. but that didn't work out so well... so I watched KIDS instead. WOW that is a fooked up movie. That was definitely the most disturbing thing I've seen in a while. Anyhoo, after the movie Skittles came back, looking all stylish and such with her new hairstyle and color, and we went to WEGMANS for FOOOOOOD:) mmmmm... afterward I met a friend of hers, then left for home. And that was my super-amazing weekend:)

so anyway, that was the eventful past few days of my life. Now I'm back here, and my roommate is deathly ill :( I hope she feels better soon. ok, I gotta go move my CAR now. Ugh. it's sooooooooo freakin' great to be back... Summer can't come soon enough. Love Peace and Chicken Grease... *end transmission*
meh heh heh heh heeeh   
12:03pm 12/03/2003
mood: giddy
music: none. *sigh* I miss my computer...
Mua ha ha ha haaaaaa it is now official-- I'm going to the Skittles residence on Friday!!!!! WEEHEEEEEW!!!! And THEN Skittles and I are going to go to a gathering of friends at The Music Man's house. (This would be the kid that keeps sending me odd music) Speaking of The Music Man... I talked to him on the phone last night. I probably bored the poor kid to tears. My phone conversation skills are rather... lacking. meh heh. Alright. It's shower time.

*leaps into the shower*
*breaks hip*
*sneeze sneeze sneeze*   
10:21pm 10/03/2003
mood: hungry
music: Oasis-- Wonderwall
graaaaaah I can't stop SNEEZING. blah blah blah and a cha cha cha I'm in weird mood. I went shopping again today.. then I came home and did NOTHING. Meh heh. I'm enjoying this single life. I get to do what I want, when I want, without having to answer to anyone. Oh yeah.. and I decided that I AM going to get my navel pierced. Skittles has agreed to go with me. (Thank you!)

I'm going to watch a movie tonight, methinks.

I really don't have anything else to say

so until next time, take care or yourselves... and each other...
02:34am 07/03/2003
mood: awake
music: Sigur Ros
Oh me, oh my. It is LATE, and I have a class at 8 tomorrow morning. I have a midterm at 9:10 that I've barely studied for, and I still haven't finished this damned paper. Ah well. I get to go HOME tomorrow, and not deal with classes for a whole week. *sigh* I am happy. I'm listening to this eerie, beautiful song that Skittles' friend sent me. He keeps sending me odd music. meh heh. Speaking of Skittles, she's mad cool. I had so much fun with that crazy girl tonight. She's the most sane person here, I think. She keeps me sane. Well, as sane as I can be, anyway. I'm going to live with her next year.. I hope she can stand me. Meh heh. I'd like to stay and write more here, but my attention should REALLY be on this paper of mine... I have 3 pages done! Just ooone mooore... I'm off!

*Flies away*
Happy Birthday, Michelangelo   
01:03pm 06/03/2003
mood: restless
music: Tool, Aenema
Doodle-dee-doo... I'm in an odd mood.... I imagine that's cuz I saved all my stupid work for today. (Way to go, Ink!) Dammit... I had junk to say, but I forgot it as soon as I got to this page. Fook fook fook.alright, well, I should REALLY go clean my room... it's beginning to resemble a small landfill. (Luckily it hasn't started to stink yet.) I get to go home tomorrow for spring break... for the first time, I am HAPPY about going home. I don't know WHY this is... I think it's cuz I've become very very very sick of school...

I've started to download episodes of Invader Zim.... I wonder how long it will be untill they catch me, and the campus computer police send their hired goons after me...meh heh. That would be interesting. Eww.... I just drank out of a cup filled with 2-day-old sprite mixed with fruit punch. Ugh. I really gotta clean. I can barely see my keyboard, there's so much crap on my desk. sooo, M-I-C (see you real soon!) K-E-Y (why? because we LIKE you!) M-O-U-S-EEEEEEE
just shoot me now...   
10:08am 05/03/2003
mood: weird
music: Remy Zero, Save Me
oooy vay. it's 10:10 on a wednesday... I have so much shit to do today, and I have a stomach ache. Just shoot me now. On the not-so-dark side, I DO get to go iceskating today with a bunch of psychotic elementary school students (Meloves my job). Alright, I'm gonna go pluck my eyebrows. *Rides off into the sunset*
Z? ::Question Sleep::   
12:01am 05/03/2003
mood: mellow
music: Linkin Park, Krwlng
blah blah blah. I know I had a reason for coming back to write more.. I just know I did. Ah well, it couldn't have been too important if I can't even remember it.... I suppose it's time for bed now. See you next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
The beginning....   
01:54pm 04/03/2003
mood: uncomfortable
music: Paul Oakenfold, Starry-Eyed Surprise
What does one say at the very beginning of their very first entry? I can't think of anything much to say that won't make me sound like a complete and total fruitcake... I suppose I'll just introduce myself to all of you lovely people... my audience. Heh. Anyway, I call myself Ink. I'm not so sure WHY, I just like the name... and I draw constantly in ink. Ok, so I guess I DO know why I call myself Ink. Anyway, I am a college student (yee haw). I also think I'm slightly insane... but aren't we all? My mental state has become a bit of a concern to me lately... I suppose I'll be writing more on this in future entries. Oh yeah- I'm a female. And this female has to get her kiester to class. So I shall end this now... BUT I'LL BE BACK!!! MUA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA! *cough*