| inkblot_chicken REBORN! | ||||
| 11:00am 03/02/2005 | ||||
harhar. |
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amused| winter | ||||
| 08:32pm 20/01/2005 | ||||
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cold| Dawn Rantings | ||||
| 03:45am 29/08/2004 | ||||
My last entry was around february this year... now it's a few days short of september! I have skipped two whole seasons: spring and summer, to be exact. hahaha... well summer's in it's home stretch now. cooler days are coming soon... UPDATES. NEWSFLASH well since april new people have come and infiltrated our dorm lives. 5 Ilonggos, namely Jackie, Janice, Ace, Sarah and Edcel. Joy and Kuya Chris are going out for almost 6 months now and still going strong Crushed on Harry Potter (ima no status wakaranai) Went to Tokyo I guess as much as I want to rant more, I think my dose of coffee has just worn off.... good! it's 3:52 am now... gotta sleep sooner or later. hehehe |
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lethargic| vexed | ||||
| 03:29am 02/03/2004 | ||||
well today was a rehash of that episode in my life... and i'm not feeling pretty good about it... i guess when people get old, you have these repressions that eventually come out every once in a while. i guess mine was, i just wanted a break from being everybody's person. sometimes i feel as if i try so hard to please everybody when in fact, every brain cell in my head knows that it's imposible to do that. and sometimes i just feel sorry for myself for just caring too much about everybody and not being cared for in return...most of the time i FEEL it's unfair but i KNOW that it was my choice too... *altruistic? nah... just plain stupid* i'm a very genki person. i smile a lot, i joke a lot... but it's hard when you're stereotyped to this role because once you stop grinning everyone is bound to notice... today i had a very bad mood swing. and i guess as much as i KNOW how bad i felt, i didn't realize that it SHOWED. *stupid me* but it's just that i really don't feel like smiling. *but i have to... so my smile turns out to be more fake than ever!* and i didn't know how it affected everyone... but i guess in a way it did... and i just want to cry. i'm so torn between letting my true emotions show and assuring everyone that everything's ok. because they weren't and i wasn't but it's totally hard to explain things without sounding so cliche *"it's not you, it's me..."* i guess i just needed time to think, and a very good cry. now i can't sleep because i really feel bad about what happened... i feel as though i have failed everyone and as if i'm this really bad person... i can't believe i let the same mistake happen again. i dunno... maybe i think too much... but right now i KNOW i feel totally bad... i screwed up what should have been a positively happy dinner (although things weren't totally unhappy as they were chatting up a storm, as i tried to unsulk in a corner * hehehehe* well at least i tried*) i wasted a good friend's time as i whined and contemplated about my weaknesses *i can still here my friend's sigh of frustration and patience as he tried to explain one point again and again and again..* and i wasted what should have been a good memory of my time here in Japan. now i'm regretting what i have done. but now i also feel trapped in a kaleidescope of smiling faces... faces which i have to wear all the time. faces which are suppose to be me... もう自分の悲しさに溺れているのが・・・助けてくれる人がいないの。 皆にごめんね・・・ |
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depressed| Yasumi Mode on HOLD | ||||
| 11:57pm 09/02/2004 | ||||
The funny thing is, it ended now when I seem to have found my momentum in studying... *sigh* the story of my life... heheh. But wait! it isn't over yet.... remember the line, "so near, yet so far" ?? Well that's how I feel with my spring vacation just two papers away.... two... a number so little yet so important to lazy bums like me. hahaha. As soon as I get those two down, I'll be on full vacation mode! OR NOT... I remember about a week ago I attended this benkyoukai (study group) where in graduate students get to present their researches and findings to gakubu teachers and fellow students... the research seemed pretty concrete to me at first, but as the presentor got bombarded with question after question, I realized that almost half a year has passed and my research is still, like just a camel's hump's worth...and as I tuned out to the presentation and into my own dilemma i swore to myself that i will use this spring break to get started on my research... which means... a few weeks of gimmick is all i can afford... *good luck if i can do that!* hahaha..... Oh! my haru yasumi....(T.T) On brighter things, I finished one report today! yey!! *special thanks to Taji-san (^0^)/ |
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contemplative| Sensei ni no Soubetsukai | ||||
| 11:32pm 02/02/2004 | ||||
今日ロランド先生のために送別会が行われた。先生はいよいよ帰国だね・・・めっちゃ寂しい！しかも、アラン君も四月から別府に勉強するよ～ますます寂しくなるね（Ｔ．Ｔ） でも人生はそうだ。変わってることがたくさんある。また四月になると新しい留学生も来て、また新しい友達・・・新しい出会い。 ただ、あたしは別れや離れるのがすごく苦手なんだ。ずっとこのままでいいなーやいつも一緒にいられたら、うれしいって思ってる。 しかし、それだったら人生ってあまり面白くなるよね・・・ ふ～ん・・・ |
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| GoinG UnDeR... | ||||
| 10:55am 31/01/2004 | ||||
For their opening they sang Everybody's Fool followed by Going Under...they sang almost all the songs in their FALLEN cd. way cool!!! Only...Monette and I got really bummed when their gig finished after an hour. Especially Monette!! We waited until almost all the people went out already, Monette wishing just for an autograph... to no avail....*sigh* After the live I got an invite to go Karaoke with my friends from school...so off I went to another gimmick! hahaha.... This from a girl who's up to her neck with papers! :D EVANESCENCE LYRICS "My Immortal" I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase [CHORUS:] When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase [Chorus] I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along [Chorus] |
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rushed| In Japan.... | ||||
| 02:47pm 29/01/2004 | ||||
the coldest days of winter have come and gone... and the days are getting longer. wow! いよいよ春だね！ time really flies! i remember almost a year ago, i was just a bum whining about work and school... and now, here i am whining about school again! hahaha. |
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grateful| I LOVE KEN | ||||
| 05:24pm 25/09/2003 | ||||
anyway, on other matters, i've resigned from my job already!! fast di ba?? I worked for three months but now I have to say my sayonaras to the people there. I am leaving for Osaka next week.... feeling kind of detach for now... I mean, I don't feel sad or lonely... and that worries me a lot. Better to be senti now then go crying like a baby later... I miss everyone at work!! They were so nice to me and there was a time that working was really fun. The commute was just taxing, but not enough to make me thinner! Anyways, I guess now I'll have a ll the time in the world to update this journal! |
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calm| HISASHIBURI!!!!!!! | ||||
| 06:05pm 05/08/2003 | ||||
next time na lang ulit.... armi |
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hungry| work.work.work | |||
| 04:57pm 15/06/2003 | |||
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i'm a week into working and... well, um... what can i say?? working's hard. challenging. at times, fun. hard. coz it's way off my degree... hehehe. b.a. linguistics-> LAN admin. heheheh.... challengeing. coz i get to learn new things... i love stocking up new knowledge fun. coz, neechan's there. hana's there also. i'll tell more soon |
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| after the weekend | ||||
| 03:02pm 19/05/2003 | ||||
Anyway,,, over the weekend I got to bond with my family and just enjoy being at the house... we watched a local movie... that of judy ann and piolo!! hehehe coz my mom wanted to. well can't argue with MOM, diba?? but in fairness it was a cutey movie which will leave you all rosy and grinning stupidly afterwards. a thumbs up for local cinema!! yeah! my mom's all geared up to watch ai-ai's movie... hey, she's the MOM so i guess i'm gonna be sucked into that one too... but in the end i realize that i do enjoy watching these movies... and i'm just sooo blinded by the stereotypes of today's youth. Dabah?? basta local movie baduy na for us. but see, not all local movies are a waste of money... you do find one or two in the lot that'll be worth it... i'm still wishing for a job ahhh... today i'm with my friends!! yay!! so happy.... i miss them all terribly pala... wahahaha |
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| 06:06pm 16/05/2003 | ||||
Kaso super bitin... Anyways, for those who are into Meteor Garden... I got a copy of the op song *Nan yi wang ji chu ci jian ni Yi shuang mi ren de yan jing Zai wo nao hai li Ni de shen ying Hui san bu qu Wo ni de shuang shou gan jue ni de wen rou Zhen de you dian tou bu guo qi Ni de tian zhen Wo xiang zhen xi Kan dao ni shou wei qu Wo hui shang xin Oh... ~Zhi pa wo zi ji hui ai shang ni Bu gan rang zi ji kao de tai jin Pa wo mei shen me neng gou gei ni Ai ni ye xu yao hen da de yong qi #Zhi pa wo zi ji hui ai shang ni Ye xu you tian hui qing bu zi jin Xiang nian zhi rang zi ji ku le zi ji Ai shang ni shi wo qing fei de yi I can't believe that no matter how many times I've read/watched this story, I still get hooked every time. cute kasi ni Rui and Domyouji!! I feel happy today!! ayan, for that I can stand being cooped up in the house for two whole days! hehehe... oooooh... what new dish might I learn to cook tomorrow?? |
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cheerful| another day wasted | ||||
| 05:22pm 15/05/2003 | ||||
well, another boring day has passed. i really feel useless. but i did learn how to cook pansit!! yay!! kahiya diba? oh well, time to make up for lost time. no calls from companies whatsoever. i'm beginning to see my cellphone as dumb ( as in deaf and mute ) heheh. sana kung yun talaga ang problem diba? People keep telling me, be patient. the right job will come to you. yeah right. like the right boy diba?? naku, maybe they both got tied up while on their way here to Bulacan... i really got to check the side streets here. baka andun sila! :D hehehehe |
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apathetic| w0w philippines... | ||||
| 02:18pm 14/05/2003 | ||||
anyways, i had as much fun as our guests kasi naman it was also my first time to go there! [i swear! first time by commute, and first time to come back after, what? our field trip in the second grade?!] and it was nice there at night. the tourism people really did a good job... w0w manila! ehehehe.... but we had to do a lot of walking. [HAO!!] after how many weeks of being a couch potato! i swear i was soooo tired when i got home. I wanted to chika more with them, especially those i haven't met for sometime, but I wasn't able to. sayang deshou. the ibm thingie is still at the back of my mind, haunting me whenever it has a chance. i got a call this morning from rej pretending to be a person from ibm... rats! i've been had. i mean i pulled the same stunt at someone and well, i fell for the same thing. anyways, good or bad news i have no choice but to accept things. but i'm still hoping... sana diba?! no harm in hoping. i really miss school! i realized that yesterday when i dropped by u.p. before meeting up with the others. i got so used to the bulacan-makati route that it felt kinda weird riding a jeep going to a different direction. and when i got to the campus, i felt like a guest. like, this isn't my school anymore or something... and well that made me sad *of course!* i really should visit more often. as in tambay makuru! habang bum ako, diba?? :) so today, i'm a homebody. guess what new dish i've learned to cook! that's all i do when i'm at home... sheesh feels like i'm training to be a housewife [IYADA YO~n] hi rej! i really had fun seeing you (after 2 weeks...!!) you too charis :) |
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okay| weird | ||||
| 06:43pm 12/05/2003 | ||||
but after rummaging through my emails (and spam mails courtesy of hotmail) I found out that a lot of my friends have on-line journals of their own... @_@ (geh!) Unfortunately, theirs are in other sites... *groan* Hey, I want in too!!! Mods! Give me an account creation code!! heheheh.... But I like it here too... cute hamsters! yeah.... |
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weird| I feel like CRAP | ||||
| 06:16pm 12/05/2003 | ||||
TODAY I feel like crap. And today was my interview with IBM. That one didn't come out right too.... Damn day.... |
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drained| bumming around | ||||
| 02:51pm 10/05/2003 | ||||
guess i can just enjoy being a bum *for now* and watch all the japanese and chinese soaps (dorama) i can get my hands on! ^_^ I haven't watched X2... grabe, and it's sooo annoying na everyone's talking about it! hehe. Well, i have a week (or two) left... |
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inkblot_chicken |
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