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[05 Jan 2004|04:25pm] |
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damn ya`ll ii haven`t wriitten iin diizs shiit iin a miinute. eriithiinq chanqed. omq.. ok.. da shiit wiif dre been over !! lolz after dat ii went out wiif mark and he broke up wiif me coz ii diin`t qiive hiim head.. and denn ii staiid qettiin wiif hiim fer a whiile after datt doe.
now ii qot da best bf ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lolz.. hiiz name iis keviin black and ii love hiim. we started qettiin wiif e/o liike 2 monthz aqo. den he asked me out december 18th. and we stiill toqether. he was dere fer amber bka ber [mah newer best friiend + siister] wen she was MANGLED drunk and fer me too. omq.. dat was liike da worst niiqht of mah liife. ii was passed da fuck out doe forrealz. iit was fucked !!
but yea.. me and nana bka nataliie are stiill tiiqht as shiit doe.. dat aiin`t ever qona chanqe. and.. well yea..
ii chiilled at qrant fer a liiddle buh ii don`t ne more ii started chiilliin round ma waii now. iiqht ii`ma qo fer nowz. love ya`ll. iif ya`ll took me off yer friiendz liist FUCK YEWZZZZZZZZ !!!!
hollurz
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| confusion with andre.. sorry.. |
[27 Jul 2003|11:22pm] |
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well, this is how it is.. natalie talked to andre today. and she discovered that he likes me and tara !! and he can`t choose which one he likes more. i`m really upset about that. tom said that dre didn`t even qet wit tara yet.. well... he miqht be lyinq but i appreciate the fact that for once he cared about my feelinqs.
scott andre me and nat went into the woods to smoke aqain today. i didn`t smoke AGAIN !! lol. but they did. and andre said shit today like he can`t fiqure me out n shit. and then later that niqht he had to talk to me and we took a walk. and he said..
him ; it seems like ur mad at me
me ; wut makes u think that
him ; idk it just seems like that
me ; oh
then scott steve and qary fuckin came up to us. so he stopped talkinq. i asked him if that`s all he had to talk to me about. he said no and i asked him to tell me the rest. so we started takinq a walk but scott followed us. but yo he`s cool as shit. coz he was like
"if ya`ll need to talk then i`ma qo run some ball for a liddle then i`ll b bacc in like 10 - 15 minz."
and me and dre were like iiqht. then fuckin tim jeremy and tom come over. and tom was beinq iqnorent as shit. and he said he wouldn`t qet up or nutin. he`s like "they ain`t qota talk to now" and scott was lookinq at him like "that`s iqnorent as FUCK !!" and it is.. but yea. then andre had to qo and qet a fone call from work. so i prolly won`t even see him till like thursday. if not later. i`m fuckin in love with this kid tho i swear.. uqh...
iiqht i`m out h0llerz.
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| A SWEET STORY OF A PLAYER |
[26 Jul 2003|11:22pm] |
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ok well, today i was depressed as shit. i mean seriously. i was fuckin dead today. i was chillin wit tom lidiya kristie jeremy orlando and scott. then lidiya and kristie had to qo home. i didn`t fel like hanqinq around so i jus went home for a while. then i jus chilled for a liddle. and i called nat`s cell. she was on her way to her fuckin cousin`s aqain. she was like "y`d you qo home ?? andre was jus at the playqround." i didn`t kno so i was like o iiqht w/e. then i took a ciqq from my mom and i went to take a walk. that walk led me to the playqround eventually. i quess because i was thinkinq about andre + nat said he was there. so i walked over there..
he wasn`t there. and i jus chilled wit orlando tom scott avory and jeremy. still depressed as fuck. and then andre come ridinq up on his bike. he comes over to me and says hi and shit. and he handed me a pack of ciqqz. i was like "wut`s this?" and he`s like.. "i bouqht them for you....." i didn`t ask him to or nethinq. i said thank you n all that. then him and scott went to smoke or w/e. then they came bacc. and andre was all "come smoke with us" and shit and i said i didn`t want ne... and he was like "ur crazy" lol.. he`s so fuckinq cute. then they left aqain.. i`m quessinq to qo to the mall or w/e.
i was chillin wit kristie later that niqht. she is chill as shit. that qurl is awsome. she`s a really qood listener and a qood person to talk to. i jus met her yesterday. she prolly qona b chillin wit me tmrw too. that`s mah qurl =]
omq.. wen it was jus me scott and lidiya |[earlier that day]| scott was like "yea yesterday andre was like let`s qo knock for alissa and let`s qo sit in front of her house" they didn`t knock for me coz it was like 2 in the morninq and they didn`t want me to qet in trouble. i woulda qotten my ass beat tho .. for real. and then andre told me that they were jus sittinq in front of my house jus smokinq and freestylinq. aww lol i wish i coulda come out. =]
uqh.. i`m fuckinq fallinq in LOVE with him. seriously. i`m qona qo think...
bye.. to all my blurty qurls + boii... i love yous !!!
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| reminisinq + thinkinq.. |
[26 Jul 2003|11:40am] |
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ok well.. nothinq really happened. but the more i think about it the worse it hurts. well andre is a fuckin playa !! why him ?? i don`t fuckin understand. he is so perfect. he`s sweet n everythinq but it`s all jus really fucked up now. i hate it... i remember the first niqht i met him. omq.. i was chillin wit everybody and he was smokinq a ciqqerette. i went up to him and i said "u shouldn`t smoke.. can i have a ciqqerette.." or some shit like that. and he qave it to me. then i said thank you and i went on the slide which was like 2 feet away from him. he came up to the slide and we jus started talkinq.
i found out that he`s qoinq into the military. and we talked about wut he wanted to do with his life or w/e. we talked about me and my life and shit. and then we all started walkinq home. he asked me to qo to his house so he could take my number down. i worte it down and he qave me a huq.. and i walked home. then the next day we qot drunk toqether and we talked for a lonq lonq time and he kissed me. and asked me out.. like an idiot i said no.
and then we started qettinq with e/o. omq.. i like him soo much. i jus want him to myself. i never usually qet jelous wen it comes to quys... but with him it`s soo different. everyqurl i ever see fuckin likes him.. and i can`t help it but i want to beat the shit outa every sinqle one of them. like teresa.. omq.. i fuckinq hate her. i don`t hate a lot of poeple... jus her and my dad. and she`s qona qet her ass beat the fuck up.
i`m fallinq for this kid like fuckin crazy. i can`t stand it !! uqh i`m qona qo.. h0ller
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| smokinq dat la-la-la |
[25 Jul 2003|11:55am] |
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lol well, yesterday me and natalie qot hiqh. she was jus in float mode. i was hiqh as hell tho. it lasted so lonq. mitch + ryan smoked us up. they jus came up to me + nat and they were like "do u wana qo smoke with us?" i said sure. and we went to my smokinq bench. it was cool as shit. and then they qave me 2 roaches that i saved till a lil' later. and me and nat smoked them toqether.
that niqht natalie qot de-pruded. FiNALLY !! lol, i`m soo fuckinq proud of her !! lol. she said it was the worst thinq she ever had to qo throuqh. =[ poor thanq. lol i love that qurl soo much. i`m so happy she finally qot with someone. peter was the dude by the way.
anyways.. i want andre soo bad. i`m tellinq ya`ll he is the best kisser in the entire world. omq. i want him !! lol. i hope he comes home early from work today !! i wana chill wit him + i jus wana look at him. he`s fun to stare at. lol iiqht... i`m qona qo. i`ll update later toniqht or tmrw morninq. bye <33
i LOVE YOU`S !!
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| last niqht with andre <33 HEHEHEHE |
[24 Jul 2003|10:44am] |
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the last entry i worte.. iqnore it for now. so this is wut happened.. i went home for a while around 5. and i decided to come bacc out round 7 i quess. and i bumped into scott and me and him chilled and watched the rest of the boys play ball. then i see heather. |[peanut]| and i ran over to her and qave her a huq and shit, u knoo. then i was tellinq her about how sexy andre is. and she was like "i wana c diss kid" she saw him.. haha. i thouqht he had work yesterday, but he came bacc early i think. he looked cute as hell yesterday.
riqht so i walked with andre + scott to texaco. andre qave me a kiss on the cheek. and then we walked bacc to the playqround and we put toqether some money to buy a blunt. the whole way bacc to texaco andre was behind me with his arms wraped around me. |[ aww it looked cute ]| then we went to the tracks and they smoked. i TRIED turninq it down. they made me has a few hits tho. at one point andre was holdinq my arms bacc and told scott to put the L in my mouth. uqh i was scuurrreedd.. lol. i don`t like it wen he`s hiqh or drunk. wen he`s hiqh.. he`s paranoid.. he like thinks i don`t like him. and wen he`s drunk he`s THE MOST SENSiTiVE PERSON EVER !! and even tho i think that i should like that or w/e.. i don`t that much. but yo.. he`s really fun to look at. lol.. newayz.. after we smoked we went bacc to the playqround and chilled with jeremy, tom, tim, iqor + steve. and they were jus sittin there kickin beats and freestylinq and tellinq jokes and bustin on each other n shit.
then it was 9;3o and i had to qo home. i huqqed all mah boiiz qoodbye and andre qot up and walked me home. he asked me to qo down the shore with him this saturday + sunday. i want to sooo bad. but come on now... =[
it`s a fuckin shame too. it woulda been fun. it would just be me + him +his 2 brothers. but he said his brothers wouldn`t bother us. i WANA GO !! i`m soo fuckin pissed that i have parents like my mom and dad. actually.. my mom would prolly let me qo if i yelled enouqh. my dad tho.. he`d only beat my ass. i`m not even qona ask. i kno wut the answer is. but it`s ok. he said he miqht not qo this weekend so he can chill wit me.
so we were standinq in front of my house and we talked for a little and then he said he qona qo.. qave me a huq.. a lonq huq. then he was like "i`ma see u tmrw riiqht ?" i said yea and we started qettinq wit e/o. aww he qood as hell with his tounqe. lol. the first niqht i met him he told me that he was. lol. iiqht this is lonq enouqh. i mean that`s all that really happened. notice that natalie wasn`t in it tho. she was at this broadway show shit. poor thinq. ilu qurl !!
iiqht bye everyone. i`m qona qo comment yous
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| andre shit |
[23 Jul 2003|06:17pm] |
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well u kno wut. i`ve decided not to make my entries pretty ne more. i don`t really like the way it looks with this layout. so it`s all jus qona b like this from now on. riqht so i`m bored as hell. i think that maybe on saturday i`m finally qona qet to c andre. i can`t wait. ok, i kno i haven`t really bitched about nethinq in a while.. but herre i qo. i have to bitch about this shit.
ok well.. andre is like the hottest quy i`ve ever seen. |[besides eminem]| i mean he`s seriously sooo damn hott. let me tell you`s wut he seriously looks like. from head to toe.. he has the cutest dark brown eyes ever. usually i like the baby blue shit.. but his eyes are.. amazinq. he has a really really cute nose and his hair is buzz-cut and soft. his tan is like perfect. he`s tall, think and stonq. well, riqht.. so people tell me that he likes me and he tells me too. and the way he acts around me.. it jus seems like he does.. but then aqain. i was talkinq to scott on sunday and he was like "i think teresa likes dre" i said i kno. and i asked if he likes her. he said he didn`t no.. uqh buh o well.. i can`t talk about this now tho. my dad jus came home. i`ll bitch later.. lol.
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| eminem i fuckin love you !! |
[23 Jul 2003|05:52pm] |
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Yea your obsessed... haha
Are you obsessed with Eminem?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| my biqq fall.. haha |
[23 Jul 2003|11:03am] |
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lol omfq !! i fell today. haha, naatlie`s biqq ass pused me off the top of the bleachers and i went tumblinq down. it didn`t hurt or nethinq.. well the fall didn`t hurt. but now i qot bruises on my ass and my bacc and the bacc of my leqs. it hurt to sleep last niqht. but i`m iiqht. it`s all qood.
umm.. i had work yesterday. uqhhh... it`s sooo fuckin borinq. i qot two 5 minute breaks yesterday. jus to qo outside and smoke a ciqqerette. damn i hate this fuckin job. well iiqht i have to qo qet ready for work riqht now so i`ll h0lla later !!
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| work.. |
[22 Jul 2003|11:09am] |
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well. me and natalie finally qot work today. as unhappy as i am.. i need the money. it`s fuckin crazy tho. i heard it was supposed to be pourinq today. and we qota walk our asses home. =[
last niqht was rather interestinq. me nat ot tom jeremy + 2 others were chillin at the playqround at like 5. and nat`s dad comes and he like makes her qo home. of course i had to rescue her !! lol. and i did. i was like yellinq for 10 mins at her fuckin dad. they finally let her out. and everyone chilled some after that. iiqht.. so i`ll c everyone later.. i qota qo qet ready for work.
<3333 i LiKE ANDRE
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| jus updatinq.. |
[21 Jul 2003|11:33am] |
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yo whuz qood everyone. diss is qona b real short. i`m not even qona make it all perty or nutin. i`m simply jus updatinq to show everyone that everythinq iiqht wit me. and i`m qona qo and comment my friends. hmm.. i been spendinq a lot of time with andre + scott. [ lol i used to be scared of scott b4 i knew him ] i was pretty tiqht wit his sister kim tho. it kinda flipped. newayz. so me and the 2 of them been smokinq a lot. that is ffuunn !! lol. it`s been cool. andre keeps fuckin lookinq at me and shit and i`m alwayz like "what?" and then he says somethinq stupid like "i`m studyinq you.." and i`m like ok... ??? lol. he`s soooo fuckin hott tho !! damn <33 i like him a lot.
kk i`m qona qo. i don`t really have nethinq else to write about. i`m jus qona qo comment. mayb i`ll update later toniqht or tmrw morninq about wut`s qona happen toniqht. prolly nothinq tho coz andre has work really late. =[ i don`t want him to qo. lol, i like basically won`t see him till saturday. and i wana c him now !! haha.. iiqht i`ll b bacc !!
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| PARTY TONiGHT @ DRE`s |
[19 Jul 2003|11:41am] |
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well, last niqht [ call me a pathetic lil` qurl ] but i waited for andre to qet home from work. then i finally decided to qo in coz it was pourinq out. so i qot home all soaked n shit. uqh.. it sucked.
toniqht.. andre is havinq a party at his crib. can`t wait. lemie c. teresa is qona b there. and so am i + natalie. nat still wants her chance to talk to dre. and then we`ll c how teresa is qona b all over him n shit and the dirty looks... oh yea.. there`s deff qona b a brawl. lol. i think he`s havinq alcohol there !! hell yea.. i`m qettin fucked up. haha. i love beinq drunk + hiqh. it`s like one of the best feelinqs. it feels like ur jus floatinq !! lol, fun shit.
aww, yesterday tom left bacc to kenzo. =[
i`m qona miss that kid like crazy !! i love him to death !! damn.. i want him to come bacc jus for the rest of the summer. well, nothinq i can do about it now. he`s qone. i mean he has mine and nat`s number`s so wen/if he calls.. i`ll deff talk to him. <33
iiqht i`m qona qo. there`s really nothinq else to talk about. bye everyone <33 love ya`z !!
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| new layout + i qot wit dre... |
[18 Jul 2003|10:59am] |
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hey ya`ll. omq ain`t this journal hott !! props to natalie = she did this for me. she put the bq on herre + she made me the icon.. hott shit. eminem is soo fuckin sexy !! uqh.. i stare at my journal now. hehe !!
well kim is bacc from camp. which mean that mah qurl embiie is bacc too. qood qod !! i missed them soooooo badd !!! hehe.. and i don`t want either one of yous to qet madd at me for not writinq bacc. i did write yous a letter each but i couldn`t send it out. =] i love yous sooooo much !!
omq.. last niqht. i was chillin wit andre and i qot hiqh wit him + rachel +rachel`s cuz +her friends. it was fun !! then riqht after that. they all were qoinq somewhere. and i had to qo home coz it was 10;30. so we were standinq in front of my house and he qave me a huq. and he faced me and said "see you tmrw !!" and i said yea. then he leaned in and he kissed me. then we just started qettinq with each other in front of my neiqhbor`s. lol.. they`re qona tell mah momma.. haha.. siika nah.
yea so the niqht was iiqht. i`m qona see mah qurl`s and maybe dre aqain todaii.. tee hee.. can`t wait !!!
h0lla ya`ll
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| he qot with dat bitch // i`m boxin !! |
[17 Jul 2003|12:19pm] |
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yea well, yesterday me + nat qo to the playqround and tim tells us that the other niqht riqht after they all walked me home.. andre qot with teresa !! i was like whaaaa.... omq.. yo. i`m sick n tired of qettin played. yea arite.. andre said "teresa is jus mah niqqer.. i don`t like her like that" and then he qets with her. um.... that`s a liddle fucked up !!
i shoulda known some shit like this was qona happen. he too cute to not b a playa. but w/e yo. i`m sick of it. mayb tim was lyinq // mayb he wasn`t. either way the bitch teresa qettinq her shit fucked up. lol, i ain`t really da jelous type. [ well, i am but i don`t really let people kno ] and so i have other reasons to beat her ass. the first niqht i met her punk ass i tried to introduce mahself and say hi.. u kno be nice or w/e. and she was like "um do i kno you?????" i was about to hit her riqht there yo. i swear.
and yesterday i was qona do it aqain. buh, i fuckin HAD to qo home. well toniqht.. it`s on. and i kno my main qurl nat qot mah bacc. [ even tho i don`t really need it ] i`m sooo fuckin sure that i can beat teresa by myself. but i want natalie to do some damaqe too. omq.. yo if i qet bern up herre, she would prolly kill her !! lol. but i can take care of her. hahahahahahhahaha i can`t fuckin wait !!
iiqht i`m outiezz.. i love ya`ll ... and mah qurl is talkin to andre about all this shit too.... =\
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| quess who bacc ?? bacc aqain !! |
[16 Jul 2003|10:45pm] |
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hey everyone !! sorry i haven`t updated or commented in a liddle while. i`m bacc now. lol so this is wut happened yesterday. it won`t b that lonq i promise. ok, so i woke up and i wanted to qo online. =\
i qo online to discover that my AOL had been shut down. so i had to transfer everythinq to AIM. BUT !! i had to qet a whole new s/n and e-mail account. i was sooo pissed !! well just in case ne one wanted to kno.
my new s/n - ifuccinmamai
my email - eminemzjawniie@yahoo.com
i hate yahoo man !! lol, i miss AOL soo much !! ='[ but yea. so i`ve been chillin wit andre lately. he still didn`t ask me out aqain. but it`s all qood. i`m prolly qona c him today !! we`ll c wut happens. he is sooooo fuckin hott !! omq you`s have no damn idea. he`s chill as shit too !! um.. tom ain`t as qreat as me n nat thouqht. he deff dicked us over for this bitch yesterday. the bitche`s name is teressa. but w/e.
iqht i qota qo. bye everyone. ilus !!
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| da boiiz i like + da boiiz dat feelin me.. [?] |
[11 Jul 2003|09:33pm] |
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ok first off, LAURAqurl i jus read ur blurty entry and u kno i love you. i`m sorry to hear that cassie doesn`t call ne more. i miss you like crazy !! u mean the world yo me. and i hiqhly doubt max will say fuck it. if i knew ur # i`d DEFF call you. i miss u + love you !! don`t b sad.. ='[
ok so, this is wut happened.. i like andre + tom i think. tom keeps sayin that he likes me. + so does andre.. + diss boul tim said he feelin me too. =\ lol i personally don`t understand wut they see in me .. lol. but yea. so .. if i had to choose i`d qo with andre, he`s tall, taned, cute, sweet ect. tom miqht b a liddle shorter than me. [like an inch]. but he`s awsome to b around. he`s seriously like one of my closest friends. he`s the sweetest kid ever. + he reminds me of diss boii andrew i chill wit every once in a while.
so they`re all cool as shit. but i only like andre + tom. BUT natalie likes tom too.. and he likes her. but then i like him + he likes me.. [?] dude !! i`m sooo fuckin confused. yesterday some of us were drinkinq. [and i met rachel, tom`s older cousin.. she`s 18.. she`s cool as shit] and andre was sayin all this shit. i wrote nat an email tellinq her about it.. i`m jus qona copy + paste it into herre..
"then i said bye to rachel, tom, tim, + da boul [lol] and andre was walkinq me home. we were talkinq and he was jus tellin me about his life n everythinq. [and at that time i wasn`t really drunk ne more] and then wen we qot to my house i was like "this is it" and he`s like... "do u wana jus smoke a ciqq with me real fast b4 u qo in" i said sure and we went around the corner to that liddle brick wall thinq. and we were jus talkinq about him aqain + shit like that. and like every once in a while i would qive him a huq and he would jus hold me. and then u kno how i stand [like cassie.. the whole crossinq foot thinq] i was standinq like that and he bacced up from me and looked at me.. i was like "what?" he said "that`s cute.. i like the way u stand" then he came up to me and he held me aqain. then he smoked a ciqq and he looked at his watch and he said "o shit it`s 11;15.. ur not qona qet in trouble b/c of me are you..??" i said nah it`s cool and he was like, "well ur qona b out tmrw riqht?" i said yupp and he huqqed me + held
me for like a minute, then he kissed me on the cheek."
so that`s jus a liddle part of the latter and a tiny part of last niqht. ok, well this is lonq enouqh. i don`t wana bore ya`ll.
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| forqet about chad [?] |
[10 Jul 2003|11:45am] |
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well, the title sayz "forqet about chad" [lol with a question mark] .. but i think i miqht b qettinq over him.. finally !! see, i still like him sooooooooooo much !! u have noo idea. but, yesterday i met someone new.. =D
his name is andre, he a rican, he lives like riqht near my crib. he`s hott, and he`s 18. he`s not qona b in philly for lonq tho b/c he`s qoinq to the military soon !! aww im`a miss him.. hehe. i`m hopinq that he does like me. i mean so far i think he actually does.. he asked for my # and he was talkinq to me the whole niqht n shit.. so idk.. we`ll c wut happens.
we were walkinq home toqether last niqht and i went to his crib, so he can qet my #. and i wrote it down for him and he said he`s qona call me today. and theennnnnn.. he qave me a huq and told me i smell qood !! hehe.. i like him. and he looks qood + he`s nice !! he`s awsome.
i met all these new people yesterday. diss other black boii named... [?] wanted to qet wit me. and i met like 15 other boiiz. they`re all cool as shit and they mah crew now. me + nat also chilled wit maqee, monica + sarah yesterday. it was fun.
well i`m out. be qood !!
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| SO FUCKiN CONFUSED !! |
[09 Jul 2003|11:31am] |
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uqh, i`m tired of all of this !! in the last entry i said that chad doesn`t IM me or nutin ne more. well, that niqht he started to aqain. w/e.. u kno.. i`ma stop. lol. this is startinq to qet old. ya kno.. lol.
anyways. so today i had to qo to northeast hiqh to qet workinq papers for my job which by the way starts tmrw !! so if i don`t wake up and qo to northeast at like eiqht in the fuckin morninq then i don`t qet a job. which is pretty fuckin not qood.
i have to qo buy food for my hamster today. he has NONE left at all. i feel sooo bad for him. it looks like he`s qona die. so i`m qona qo do that today !! iiqht i`m watchinq "the osbournes" aqain. lol my b/f , robert is on this show.. damn he`s soo banqin !!
bye everyone i love yous !!
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| shortiie.. jus an update.. |
[07 Jul 2003|11:14am] |
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well, the past couple of days have been me and natalie jus chillin. she has an online quy. lol, she can qet a real one... but she`s jus sooo fuckin picky. adn she shouldn`t b.. w/e.. i`m tired of tellinq her that online friends are corney.
um.. the thinq with me and chad.. completely done i think. i`m jus qona qo find another quy. i`m just.. tired of it all. u kno [?] he doesn`t even fuckin IM me ne more. and actually, the last time i saw him online was like.. 3 dayz aqo. fuck him !! i`m sick of it.
a couple of dayz aqo me n nat went to neshaminy and we saw "leqally blonde" funny shit. i qot a letter from kim.. hehe i miss dat qurl !! can`t wait till she comes home from camp !!
qona qo now.. h0lla
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