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[16 Nov 2004|03:47pm] |
I am using another journal for now.
If anyone wants a Scene Journal, lemme know. I have a ton of codes.
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[13 Nov 2004|12:21pm] |
Just so everyone is aware, I will not be doing again what I did last night.
No worries people.
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[02 Nov 2004|11:47am] |
I voted.
My mother was so proud.
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[20 Oct 2004|10:49pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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music |
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Word as a Virus - Tonight We Don't Come Back |
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I don't know why i'm bothering to write in this. No one reads it, and those who do only read it to be nosy and don't actually care. Eh, o well. Might as well.
Lately, I have just been breaking down in tears for no reason whatsoever. It sucks.
Me and mom got into a fight last night/today. I broke down crying and told her whats been going on. Then she started crying. I think we are both worried that she's going to die. God, i don't know what the fuck I would do without her. No one else cares about me. She's all I have anymore.
Ugh.
I'm so fucked up.
I honestly am. I don't know anymore.
I really truthfully don't.
I have no one to really talk to about shit.
Maybe Sarah, but I'm kinda scared to talk to anyone because i don't want to scare them off.
Ugh like WHOA.
All of my friends are too busy with their own lives to take time out and talk to me anymore. It kinda sucks. The only person i talk to ALOT is Sarah. haha. It's like the good ol days again, minus all the pot.
Oh man.....i think i just need to sleep alot. Maybe eventually, things will go away on their own.
So i am going to go on as usual, pretending that everything is fine and dandy, because i KNOW that no one wants to hear me whine and complain.
I will learnt to adapt to this.
I always do.
I learned from many years of experience.
fuck. I think im gonna puke now.
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[14 Oct 2004|02:05pm] |
THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998
Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.
~ Shel Silverstein
Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.
What will you do to end the silence?
Click here to post this on your own page or weblog
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[30 Sep 2004|11:19pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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Watching FAMILY GUY |
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I went to Massena for a few days while the parental was out of town.
I didn't really do to much. Stayed at my grandmothers and hung out with Charhoe and Aaron. Oh yeah, Joe too.
There was fun to be had.
Oh yeah, hung out with Joe too.
Monday I go to Montreal for Rilo Kiley.
I'm scared that I'm going to get lost. If I do, I am pulling over and crying.
I'm such a girl.
Mike and Jeff both just IMed me and told me that i would have bodily harm inflicted on me if I don't go to the show in Norwood on Saturday. Fuck that. They can come here and see me. Assholes. And I mean that with love.
Sorry boys, maybe some other time.
I'm freezing.
I need someone to light themself on fire and run here to my house.
MMMmmm heat.
My birth control patch has left a very odd rash on me for the past 2 weeks. I have 2 weird lil squares on the upper part of both of my arms. It's hot.
MmmMMmM the heat just came on.
I do believe I am in heaven.
Watched the presidential debate tonight while talking to Sarah.
Bush looks like a monkey.
Kerry looks like a gay man with a dildo in his butt.
If either are elected, we will surely be killed in the apocolypse (sp?).
And that is what I am ending this entry on.
Kerry and Bush are the Anti-Christs.
Dreams torn to pieces, broken like glass
Hope faded away, withered like leaves
Not knowing is blessing, ignorance the only protection
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[08 Sep 2004|11:48am] |
Ok, I need someone to go with me to see Rilo Kiley, Tilly and The Wall, and Now It's Overheard.
The show is in Montreal, Monday October 4th, at 9:30.
The ticket will be about 20 bucks Canadian, so I'm not sure how much that is American.
We will most likely be back late that night, since most people have school the next day or whatever.
Any Takers?
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| Name This Movie and You Win A Cookie |
[07 Sep 2004|07:25pm] |
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[07 Sep 2004|05:38pm] |
Went to find out my blood work today.
Not good news.
I'm diabetic.
Well, borderline, but same thing.
I have to do the whole diet, and such. And most likely, when i go to my doctor in a week or so, I will have to start the insulin therepy.
Megan is not a happy person at the moment.
I've seen what diabetes does to people.
Fuck it.
I'm gonna go chug a gallon of soda and eat pizza.
Maybe after, I'll KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[01 Sep 2004|10:53am] |
I called my doctor back about my blood work.
The nurse put me on hold. When she cam back, she said that she couldn't tell me the results on the phone, and that the doctor wants me to come in and talk.
Yup, tad bit scared.
I called my mom right after and she flipped and kept saying that she will take the day off and come with me.
Her being a nurse, and she knows that this means it's something pretty bad, it made me freak out even more.
I go in September 7th.
As long as they don't tell me i'm dying, then it can't be too bad.
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[23 Aug 2004|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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Dunner and Chris came up yesterday and we went to Plattsburg.
Dunner baked me cookies again <3
rock.
We picked up Derek, and hung out at the mall for awhile.
I made Chris call PSU and call Kayla's room for me.
Went up and saw her and Alexa for awhile.
That was good times.
Derek told Dunner to push me off a ledge we were sitting on.
I hate them both.
Dropped Dunner's boytoy off, then came back to Malone.
Got drunk with Chris, while watching Nip/Tuck.
I hit my head AGAIN.
I'm so damn clumsey.
Got ditched today by Chris so he could go get booty.
The jackass.
He said he will be back tomorrow.
If he is, I will be killing him.
I feel really shitty today. Not to sure why. I'm not hungover one bit, but I think the factt hat I havent been sleeping well, is finally catching up to me. It sucks.
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[18 Aug 2004|05:49pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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music |
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<3 Food Network <3 |
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I'm not in the mood to update this to much.
I'm worried about my cousin. I hung out with him for the majority of the day yesterday, and just talked. His parents are getting divorced. I feel horrible. He feels so helpless and feels partially responsible. He wants to make his dad stay, but also doesn't want things to continue the way they are going.
Damn, i feel so bad.
He kept saying how he wished he lived closer to the family up here.
I wish he did too. Me and him are so much alike.
I just wish I could help him and reassure him that everything will be alright.
ugh.
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[12 Aug 2004|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Steve Burns <3 |
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YAY!
Tomorrow, Christopher and Dunner are coming up to see me! Dunner baked 5 dozen cookies. MMmMmM after sex cookie binge. When they get here, we will most likely head to Plattsburg. W00T!
On Saturday, We will all head to the Malone fair with my mommy. Joan Jett concert. HAHA. It amazes me that she's playing the Malone fair.
I'm off to bed, since i don't sleep anymore.
Maybe, just maybe.....I will tonight.
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[11 Aug 2004|08:54pm] |
There are certain types of people in this world that just piss me off to no end. The type of people who come up to you and ask you for advice, and then when you give them advice they don't take the advice. They just come back to you a week later and they're like (altered tone of voice) “I can't believe how everything turned out so wrong”
You wanna no why everything turned out so wrong? Because you didn't take my advice and you're fucking stupid. That's what went wrong, you didn't listen to me. I know all.
The other type of person are those insignificant peons, who just have to validate themselves by being in a relationship. You know what! It's pathetic, it's weak minded and you show no inner strength whatsoever. Get over the girlfriend, get over the boyfriend or whatever the fuck your yearning for and live fucking life.
People who stalk their ex-girlfriend particularly piss me off, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Don't you have better things to do with your life than be emotionally attached to someone who hates your guts? Do something with your life, find a hobby. You know... geez... do you know how many video games are out there that you could be playing? At the very least shoot yourself (in a joking tone). Get yourself out of society, nobody wants to deal with a stalker.
Other types of people that I hate; people who ruin your favorite diner, you know the type of person that you’re usually friends with until they go to the diner and start dating a waitress there and then have some kind of wierd rocky relationship and everytime you go to the diner here-after there’s that weird vibe in the air.
People like this, really need food poisoning, I am so sick of these fucking bastards ruining my favorite spots.
Another type of person I particularly hate are those fucking slime-balls with the slick black hair, that usually end up going to bars and shit like that on friday, saturday, sunday night, to see if they can pick up chicks. And all they do is walk around with these fucking stupid velvety shirts with their dumb-ass fat hairy chests exposed to the world, as if they were the sexiest thing on the face on the earth. You know what!, you're a middle aged loser, nobody wants to see your hairy chest. Either; throw yourself in front of traffic or overdose, please!. Nobody wants to hear this bullshit anymore, time for some revaluation of ones life.
I also dislike people who all they do is talk about their problems with their insignificant other... you know what I don't care about your fucking relationship problems, you can just shove them up your ass for all I care! Nobody wants to hear about how your girlfriend doesn't like you or how your boyfriend is ignoring you... Nobody cares! It only pertains to your own little world, which in the grand scheme of things is minute and pathetic and nobody ever really ever wants to hear it. Shut your mouth, choke on your food, and die!
You ever have a good friend and then you go out some place and they always have to bring their fucking girlfriend; and their girlfriend turns out to be somebody you just want to kill... I mean really kill, like jump up and down and kill. And then chop up their body into 15 different parts and flush various parts down the toilet and bury the others and others get thrown in the sewer.
You know the type of person whose parents should have had an abortion before they even walked the earth. You know that kind of crap, these type of fucking pieces of crap really just need to be killed with some piano wire around the throat. I can’t take it anymore.
I also can’t stand people who stay at home and listen to "every rose has it’s thorn" like it’s the world’s most depressing song.
1. The song sucks
2. You’re fucking pathetic for listening to it
Take the CD out crack it in half and then slit your wrist with the broken pieces. It’s over!, they’re done, you’re done, kill yourself.
And in closing, you know it’s shit like this that pisses me off it’s just these types of people that have no “inner soul” no nothing, they just revolve around their own pathetic little world with no consideration for what’s going on around them. They have no sense or grasp of reality and really need to be taken off the face of this earth, they have no substance, they have no control over themselves...
And they really need to be put to sleep...
permanently.
Thank you for listening
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[11 Aug 2004|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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Some kids are so dumb.
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| .no.matter.how.far.i.go.my.heart.remains.with.you. |
[11 Aug 2004|04:47pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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Magnetic Fields |
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So, last night was interesting.
Grabbed Christopher and went to Massena to see Mel. Got to Mel's and dyed her hair bright blue. rock. I did a damn good job. I only got a tiddly bit on her face. After that, we went into town. Went to eat at Tony's of course, then were supposed to hang out with Charity, but she changed her mind about hanging out with us. So we drove around for awhile, waiting for the time to go get Thomas.
Visited the accident site. There is still glass in the ditch. HAHA.
Got to the bus station and waited. It started raining and I began to flip. Of course, being the moron I am, i left my car windows down back at Meltards. It started to pour, and of course, the bus was late. As soon as he got off the damn bus, we raced back to Mel's and me and Chris closed my windows.
At 9:30, in the middle of a major storm, us cool kids decided to take a drive to the rez for ciggs. Thomas drove Mel's car, cause it was waaaaay to bad for her to drive. I got insanely nervous at one point and grabbed Chris.
Got back to Mel's and the power was out still. Dandy time that was. Smokin ciggs on her backporch while the boys talked about the city.
Left Mel's and went back to Chris's.
Watched Nip/Tuck and slept in the camper.
Woke up this morning, waited a bit, then off to Dori's.
Stoned out of my mind by 10:30.
jointXcore
That women rocks. HUGE garbage bags full of dunkin donuts. MmMMmMmM.......so obese.
So that was pretty much it.
And now, I'm back home.
Awesome.
I think i'm gonna take a nap. I ate way to many donuts and Jax and Pizza. HAH.
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[05 Aug 2004|11:43pm] |
I just learned that on August 15th, they shall air the final episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
My life is over.
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awake
