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go me...it's my birthday. [08 May 2003|12:15pm] [ mood | lazy ] i'm in school right now...sorry i haven't written in like 60 years!!! haha...i'm having such a good day. i woke up ON TIME to go to school this morning, it was amazing. i came to school, got out at the corner, and mike, jay, and manny were standing there. they gave me a balloon with a few cards, a pack of cigarettes, a dime, and a pack of safety pins. i love them!!! haha....i stood out on the corner until about 7:40 or so, then walked on in. i was greeted with my friends with a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! it was fun... when i went to first period, on the way up, little diane gave me this hug. she's so cute!!! she's 18, and only 4"11. she's so adorable.... then i saw manny again and he said happy birthday in a puberty-kinda voice. lol. everyone else i saw said it too, yay! mr. v gave me two birthday cards that the whole class signed. Nelson wrote, "Steph, I just want to let you know that I was to make love to you and get married and have little Nelson's and Steph's running around... Happy Birthday... Luv, Nelson." weirdo. haha, i love him though. i'm in 6th period now, i should be getting to work. i only have 20 minutes. EVERYONE sang happy birthday to me at lunch...it made me turn bright ass red. :/ oh well... i love you sex kittens... late. post comment

[29 Apr 2003|04:35pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | the great chatter of fellow employees. ] I'm at work right now...I just got a job at Planned Parenthood...so that's why I haven't written... I had to fill out so much paperwork to get on payroll.... That sucked. I really should tell in great detail about camping.... It was, mmm...interesting. I made a lot of mistakes, but had fun while doing them... I fucked Carey. I didn't realize it `till morning after... Yes, I am still with Jay, but perhaps, not for long. BUT--we must save that for later. My boss is about to come in and talk about this Thursday. See you kids.... Late. post comment

it's been a few days... [19 Apr 2003|12:30pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | riddlin` kids ` i feel fine ] it's saturday, already...of my spring break. the only thing i been doing is getting fucked up...and being stupid...i'll start with after school wednesday..pfft. wednesday: after school, i went home. i was tired and felt like going to sleep...but before i got to do that, tabby came over to see what i was doing. we sat there for awhile, then i called danielle to see what she was doing. she replied to me that her, marcy, and brian were in search of some reefer. she asked if i wanted to come over, and i said sure....so that brings us inside the camper outside danielle's house. marcy and brian left shortly after i came, because marcy's dad doesn't like danielle...so if she gets caught there, she's in shit. then carrey came by with hoagie. we sat there like a bunch of bums until we figured out where to score some cheeba. hoagie called andy (the most terrible fuck you agree to make deals with), and we drove to andy's...squished in the back sit of danielle's tiny beretta. andy, being the idiot is, makes it all obvious that he's making a deal. we quickly bought 2 dimes, and left. after we went back to the camper, we smoked...a lot. hoagie had 2 dimes and a nick on him that we didn't know about. it was before i knew that i was majorly fucked... i couldn't remember what i did because i smoked so much; i think it was wet. i remember bits and pieces, i remember tab lying on the floor laughing...and i kissed carrey! i didn't realize it 'till the next morning what i had did. i felt so dirty. i don't think i can ever tell jay... everyone was sprawled all over the place... danielle was on the little cushion by the table. tab was in the drivers seat of the camper. hoagie was on the floor..and carrey and i...were on the bed above the driver and passenger seat. blah. carrey is a cute kid, but i go out with jay...remember steph? JAY...YOU'RE BOYFRIEND?! ::sigh:: thursday: didn't wake up `till 2:30, i had that thinking dilemma...and after that was over, i called my mom. i forgot to call her last night, but danielle said she called her to let her know i was staying. after we all got up, tab getting up smiling said, "that was some wicked ass shit." heh...yeah, it was. we all went to IHOP to get some pancakes. yumm. i love pancakes. after that we all went home (tab coming with me). tab and i, walked up to my mom's work with anthony and jason to get some cash money flow. everyone sat and i asked my mom for money...she asked what for and i said, "to get some...ya know." she asked if i was going to buy from butary, i told her yeah. she says, "go chill over there for a second, i have better stuff than his...his is skimpy." hah, wicked. i love my mom sometimes. as we waited for her, some assholes sitting over at another booth looked like they were looking at eachother's cocks. i started making fun of them, and they started making fun of us. as they left, tab got up and gave them the finger...the guy came in and yelled at us...my mom told the guy to leave, and they sat out there waiting in there van. then they drove off, but as we were walking home the guy started running after us...we jetted to jay's, met up with markie, rolled a couple joints, and smoked them homies up. i went home around 10:30...my mom brought home some sublime which i drank with tony, adam, judith, tab, and myself. we stayed up and partied `till about 3:30...and went to sleep... friday i just got stoned with tab and white. this morning i got up and smoked a bowl and a cigarette. i gotta go for now...see ya kids. late post comment

the butt is always at the end. [15 Apr 2003|03:21pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | jane's addiction ` jane says ] hey there kiddies. how are all of you doing today? fine, you say? fabulous. last night was one of the funniest nights of my life. danielle and i popped kalief's weed cherry. little straight edge, church boy kalief...smoked 4 bowls with us. i was very shocked. it only took him about 5 hits before he was semi-high. he was acting way weird... he usually is a crazy kid, and it was great to see him high. don't worry, there was no peer pressure. i told him around 9 that danielle was coming over to smoke some doobage, and if he didn't feel comfortable around it...he was free to go home. but no...he was all, "i want to get high! i want to get high!" danielle showed up around 9:30 or so. she had to drop off marcy. it started off with me :] taking the first hit, then i passed it to kalief. he had a coughing fit, and i got a little worried. so i ran around, and then ran downstairs to get him a drink. a little while later, kalief just started saying some crazy shit. kalief: i need some tape. danielle: huh? me: why? kalief: to wrap around my fingers. i started laughing when he said that...i dont know why. his face was just so, retarded...and his eyes were already extremely blood shot. he then was looking around for awhile, holding the lighter in his hand. he started talking about how he needed a rubber band to put his hair up because it was in his face...i got a little confused. he went into some conversation about a dog he saw, and how nice it was. he finished the story by saying, "the butt is always at the end." i felt a little hungry after smoking the 20 (mostly because i hadn't eaten dinner yet, and i'm a food fiend), so i drove danielle, kalief, and myself up to taco bell to get some grub. it was nearly 11:30 by then, but that was okay. when we got in there, kalief told the clerk guy that he wanted a big mac; the kid looked at him like he was a nutcase. i ended up getting 4 softshell tacos, some little cinnamon thingies, soda, and a chalupa. yes, i do eat a lot! after that little adventure, i drove everyone home. i crashed as soon as i hit my bed. school today...kind of boring...but i will go through it as usual. 1st period: i got sent down to the office for saying "circus whore" randomly in the middle of class. i got to sit in the principal's office for 45 minutes, listening to lectures on how curse words and not good things to say. 2nd period: i was so tired, i was falling asleep while sitting there. mizz fix asked if i was alright...i told her to never get stoned late school nights. she gave me a strange look, then i realized what i had just told her. i shrugged, then the fucking fire alarm scared the shit out of me. i fucking hate fire drills. we spilled out of the school like a million lab rats trying to break free. we had to stand out there for 20 minutes.... 20 FREAKING MINUTES! i just stood out there with jay, mike, manny, and mark. i told the teacher i was going to fall asleep. she told me to stop acting like i was 12. i told her i didn't like her. she did not retaliate. 3rd period: nothing. absolutely freakin` nothing. 4th period: i feel asleep in calc and got kicked out. i'm usually NEVER the type who falls asleep in school, but i didn't get to bed till late...and i love my sleep. i was sent into mr. em's room. i didn't get sent into fine's today because she complained on how i talk to jay too much. so, i go and try to fall asleep in em's room, but my luck...i was placed next to manny; where i got poked the whole time. and she was showing me some funny shit with three letters (LAO)...haha. that was funny. 5th period: i was at the nurse because i was tired...and i got sent home. :] my mom was a little pissed, but i just fell asleep as soon as i got home. i kept calling jimmylee's cell (because him being the idiot that he is, leaves it on during school...and when he's in zenzel's, she'll answer the phone). so that was my day.... saturday i saw house of 1000 corpses....i didn't like it. they didn't explain stuff well...and this normal guy was alive one second, dead the next, and mysteriously escaped a coffin and ended up getting his head drilled. not that scary, i thought it would be killer. the chick's laugh was annoying. reminded me a LOT of texas chainsaw massacre. i complain a lot. i feel like i have mono, i'm so tired. late. post comment

school...fun [14 Apr 2003|02:47pm] [ mood | artistic ] Here I am at school...waiting for Jay to get out of detention. I'm just sitting in the lame library with Russo looking over my shoulder every 20 seconds...I'll write more at some point to explain my day and weekend. It was some good times. I'll just explain my day now, and weekend later. I only have 10 minutes. first period: boring as hell...i had a bad ass headache from drinking last night (smart; i drank on a sunday night). i was working with tabby-bee, who always bitches and moans about cramps. she has her period every fucking day. second period; reading a book called knocked out by my nunga-nunga's. shouldn't be a book that we have to read for school...very perverted...very sexual. i like it! i then wrote a poem about summer...::sigh:: couldn't show it to miss fix though. every time i try to write, it turns into something has to deal with sex and perversion. get these images out of my head. third period; absolutely no one was in class today. it's pretty much a study hall, and i am the ONLY junior in that study hall. all of the freshman went on a field trip to see some...submarine...museum...thing. i just chatted with jimmy about stupid shit. he said i act like a jackass, and it's funny most of the time...but he can't laugh because "it's not part of his job." he needs to learn to let loose...he's a very cool teacher when it comes down to it. fourth period; i yelled at mrs.chandler for calling me nadine. why the hell does she keep calling me nadine? i ended up getting kicked out, and sent into ms. f's room. there i plopped my ass right next to angel and manny. we talked about periods, which was WAY too confusing to them it appeared. jay tried to skip this class, but he got caught. heh...he ended up coming in 20 after, saw me, and his face lit up...i never see him during school on account of he is a senior. LUNCH; had some fun today...the whole lunch table quit the side conversations, and we all engaged in talk about Billy Madison...a great movie. the impressions mike was pulling had me almost piss myself. jay and i quit paying attention towards the end of the period, it was time for us to talk about something more personal. sixth period; back to ol` jimmy again...today we went over to the library to do some work on Warren D. Harding. we had to answer a list of stupid questions about his term, and write an essay on how he compares to bill clinton...yeah warren g. was a man whore...just like bill clinton. i wish i could of wrote that. marty kept asking me when i'm going to break up with jay...he was making me a little angry, so i moved and started convo with mark about stephanie and how she is ungreatful. some kick ass times. seventh period; i skipped seventh period today. i wasn't up for going. besides, mr.s is an asshole. instead, i went up to the italian class and told the teacher stancil told me to do some makeup work there. i went there because i knew jay was in that class...he wasn't feeling too well, and was sleeping on the desk. i did not wake him. i just talked to danielle about smoking some doobies, and some of our inside jokes...and some memories of when we first met, and smoked together. nadine tried to get into the conversation, but she's straight edge: therefore it was hard for her to understand. haha. LAST PERIOD OF THE DAY!: all we did was fucking book work, and review for an AIDS test...nelson thought it would be funny and tell mrs.jennigen that him and i had a bad sexual episode. uck. that kid is big-time fagg. i would NEVER go out with him. but he's still my friend :] well i'm being kicked off the computer now...talk to you kids later.... LATE post comment

`ello there. [11 Apr 2003|04:52pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | unsung zeros ] hey there kids. i'm writing twice in one day...score! i'm probably going to get kicked off this computer, because i'm at the library...and didn't sign it out. but oh well! i'm here with ana, one of my buddies who moved to puerto rico and came back. i think we are attending some school outing thingy, which might be fun. it only costs a dollar, and i'm not usually into that school spirit stuff, so i might as well give it a go! whoo! well after i last wrote you...it got kind of boring. i just headed on to stancil's class, and whoo hoo! stancil was there...so boxhead was subbing for him. i took my chem test, which sucked...really...sucked. i think i did alright on it though, probably mid 70's. hell, at least it's passing. eight period i got to go down to the gym and prance around...i romped and froliced with jlee for awhile, then went to play some volleyball. after i hit jena young in the head...i quietly quit the game, because i felt really bad...even though i don't like her. i helped nadine and nicole hang up some posters, since i had nothing else better to do...until my boyfriend came in... :] i jumped off the bleachers, and kinda jogged over to him...snogged him for about 30 seconds, then sat and chatted with him for about 20 minutes. we got some plans later, after i come home...good times. after school, i waited for kimiko and talked to charlie some. he wanted me to buy some chocolate from him, how could i back down?! then jay came around with the car, and we went to my house. he came in for awhile while i called ana, and scheduled some stuff to do...my mom left for work and said, "don't fool around to much while i'm gone." blah. you're stupid mom. her boyfriend kept calling form jail, and i just refused to pick up the telly. hail to ye old caller id. so ana came over, and jay was still at my house. she asked if i had a cigarette...ANA ASKED IF I HAD A CIGARETTE. the girl that used to harrass me and tell me not to smoke or she would kill me...little miss priss...haha congrats. heh. then jay had to go to work (he finally got a fucking job), and i snogged him for awhile...then he left. my sister stopped in to say hi, and she wanted to show me a poem she wrote. it was upsetting, because it was about her getting raped a few years back, then about it happening again. when my sister was 14, she was raped by this man...and she got pregnant, and chose to keep the baby...not to long after her 15th birthday, he came back...and got her again. she now as 2 babies at 15. sucks, huh? but i'm there for her all the way, despite what my mom, or ANYONE says. i love her to death. i'll post her poem up sometime. i hate her going through all of this...i know she thinks about it constantly. she cries herself to sleep at night because of the fact that her kids will never have a father to go to. and even that the fact is that she's 15, and has 2 babies already. she doesn't live with my anymore, because my lovely mother decided to give her the boot after ashleigh decided to keep the babies. my mom told her it was an awful choice, especially since she is so young...and won't even have a father around. she has me though, and i won't let my guard down for anyone. ::sigh:: that's enough for now, i should be getting my ass up and start walking back to school...tata my little sex kittens. late. post comment

damn... [11 Apr 2003|12:25pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | the lovely bitchings of ms. gadspy ] thought i would just say something randomly for a second...i'm in 6th period right now, supposed to be working on a project again....but ofcourse i'm not. just sitting here listening to mark and marty talk about sacred grounds, and them wanting to go. "sexy sex and the sex offenders!" good times. i've been surfing around on incubus sites, trying to get the 411 on why dirk lance left the group...or why he was removed...or whatever. if any of you guys know any specific reasons, please feel free to comment... well that's all from me for now...i think i may just talk to bruce since he's in here too. have fun kids. i'm getting bitched out for doing something else. stfu ms.gadspy, you look like a thumb. late. post comment

i'm only happy when it rains... [10 Apr 2003|11:59pm] [ mood | satisfied ] [ music | incubus ` are you in? ] first entry...don't expect much...just a life of a girl who makes wrong choices as a drunk, stoner, and smoker...i had one of these things before on ujournal, it didn't really work out for me too well. everyone from school just criticized my life and what i put on these things...if you rather not read, stop right here. but my first entry will probably mad long...and very boring...but i will try to update as much as possible. today was just a slow, boring day... check up for my weekends. i had school today, as usual...normal thursday i guess you could say. it's raining...i love the rain. i just hate it when it's so cold. 1st period : an hour of this class just kills me...just because the freshman had to take their pssa's. luckily, i came in late, and get to take mine tomorrow. the only thing velez was talking about the whole period was "manolete" the fearless bullfighter who got his gonads ripped by a bull...mmm...exciting. and i got to work with mark, which wasn't have bad. all we did was some worksheets, and look at some slides of this guy. 2nd period : finally, ms. moses is back. she was in a car accident which nearly killed her. she seemed happy to see us, but she pisses me off most of the time from her pointless rants...like we care. i got a pass and went to the library to just be there. surprise...my cronies were there being the usual jackasses. i love them. i plopped myself down next to manny and talked to him about jay for awhile. then angel, mike, and THE DREW came over for some chattage. angel took off his shoe, put the shoe up to his ear, and shouted, "I CAN HEAR THE SHOE STORE FROM HERE!!!" everyone laughed...he was trying so hard to get me out of my mood. it worked. good job angel. jay came in and wanted to talk to me...i like that kid so much, you don't even understand. we've had our breakups and makeups so many times...he's my best friend...i just love him. 3rd period : i had to make up a test that i missed from being suspended...back over to the library i went. i had to write a pointless essay on muckrakers and what they do to our society. i ended up using a full page, surprisingly... ::cheers:: hooray for raven and her "skillets." 4th period : watched the most boring movie of my life...calc sucks major cock. i thought i was going to die. 5th period : lunch! yes! my favorite part of the day! ;D i found out some interesting stuff from stephanie about mal. "people in this school are just so fake, i can't stand them." mal said that regarding steph. she really had the nerve to say that. one second she is prancing around in her nsync shirts (no offense to those of you that are into that), and the next second she's telling people how hardcore she is and that boy bands are "gay." steph? fake? please. get a life. well after that fiasco, i went to go to the neverending lunch line with jay. before that, we went out in he hallway to talk about us. it felt so good to hear him say, "we need to be together again...i just love you so much raven." aah...i wanted to cry. i don't know why i dumped him in the first place, that kid is my world. within 10 minutes of lunch, we were back together! and on top of that...cheese steaks today....yumm. i always sit next to angel and jay, but today i was practically on top of jay. after eating we engrossed into a makeout session of back togetherness. everyone thought it was about time. i just had a smile on my face for the rest of the time... 6th period : computer lab...nothing but being retarded researching The Sacco and Vanzetti Case for 45 minutes. i could have died, but mark and marty saved me from passing out of boredom. thanks guys... marty kept poking me, and rubbing my leg. i don't know what i feel about him. he's just my really good friend, and i want things to stay that way. he's really pushing his limits with me. then the bell rings! thank god. 7th period : i TRIED to cheer kalief up as much as possible. but stancil, being the asshole he is, just ruins things every time a student isn't having a good day. same thing when my dad died..."bring in that dead body and i'll feel some sympathy." i could have fucking shot him when he said that...but the chair was good enough to throw...so i did that. ashley kept being a bitch and arguing with him. kalief was mad upset about his cousin (he was missing, and they found him shot to death, and in the river)...and all she can do is sit there and bitch at him because she has no life. she should just QUIT LIFE. i want to slap her...i will by the end of this year. 8th period : i was kinda late on a count of my little intermission with jay in the hallway...i could have practically fucked him right there. i wanted him bad. hah, i'm such a pervert sometimes. i told him that i wanted him after school...he put that cute big-ass grin on his face. I LOVE IT!!! ms. jen bitched at me for being late, i told her i was extremely sorry. in return, i got detention for supposedly being a smart-ass about it. boo hoo. i told her i wasn't able to make it today and she said alright. we watched a movie about some kid getting AIDS. this school kinda sucks...every year in health you learn about the same thing. stds, sex, pregnancy, periods, cocks, cunts, aids, the whole 411. AFTER SCHOOL: went to go get my jay-dog. we went to his locker and quickly got out of the school. we held hands and gave little kisses on the whole way to his house, and i just wanted to hold him. we talked about our childhood memories, and when we first met (i've known him since i was 5). and our experiences in dating, and the first time we had sex and lost our virginity to eachother. we both wanted to have sex then, so it was our plan by the time we got to his house...we would do it. so we get to jay's house...good times...we dropped our books, bags, and whatnot...then ran straight upstairs. it started off with a lot of passionate kissing...and i enjoyed it so much. he is one of the best people i've ever kissed, and i never want it to end. he started kissing my neck...oh god...that is my switch. i wanted to just yell because it felt good, and i like that. i was kind just sitting on top of him, eager to just DO IT!!! (sounds like a porn story, huh?) he smiled out me lightly, and i smiled back. i took off his shirt, and started kissing his chest and neck...that would be his switch. :) he then took off my shirt, and just let me feel him up. then he undid his belt, and i slid off his pants. i then, slid off mine. i could kinda feel him getting hard already, which is awkward to feel...and i wanted to laugh. lol. i got off him, and layed next to him...waiting for him to wrap ol' jimmy up. he did, then ofcourse...it went from there. it felt so good. i'm glad no one was home. i bet the neighbors heard us, it was so loud. in the mist of it, he said..."oh god, i love you so much." i wanted to stop and just be all, "awww..." but that would be not so nice...so i replied in return. after we were done, i just layed in his arms...never wanting that to end. i kissed him on his forehead and told him i loved him. i slipped into a pair of his cute duckie boxers and a wife-beater...haha...i love doing that. i threw my hair up messily, and i got up...and told him to at least get some pants on before his mom and dad got home. he laughed at me...and called me a dork. i wanted to smoke a joint, but he doesn't smoke pot...and he kind of doesn't like me smoking anything...at all...so i save the partying when he's not with me. unless me and him get drunk together...but that's usually just us. so here i am, still at his house, staying here for the night. he ordered us some grub...aah yes...food. i love food... heh. i called my mom and told her i was staying...she sounded a little iffy about it, but was OK. she just told me to make sure i get up and go to school in the morning, and call her before i go...she's so cool when sean's not around. when he comes back to jail, i'll probably be kicked out again...and be back to being the old stupid bitch no one wants in the house... god that was long...sorry i bored you kids with that...that is if...anyone reads this. i'm not expecting anything. babble at you some other times... late. post comment

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