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[02 May 2004|11:13am] |
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I am new here. I have never fit in, anywhere I went. I am meant to be alone, never meant to be born. I will die soon, I can feel it. Either by accident, or by my hand. I was unsuccessful the first time, but by my choice. I took the rope off, and couldn't find the strength to put it back on. The sad thing is, when I die, people will be angry probably, maybe sad...not for long of course. People will say "I never knew!" or "oh my god", or even "oh well". Some people may never know of my death, and think that I'm alive somewhere. What I want to be able to do, is to float around in the ether after death, and see all my old "friends" crying over their desk at work, or holding something I gave to them and weeping. So then I would know that I was missed. But I won't be able to see that. All I'll see is the barrel of the gun before the deafening sound. And then silence....thanks for listening.
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