| No matter what... |
[05 May 2008|10:57pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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Whatever I do...whatever I change...wherever my life takes me...no matter how I protray myself to other people...I'm still just the same me inside. All broken and tattered. Tired and raw. Nothing left to give. I can't sleep...I wish I was the me that everyone thinks I am...
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| Up Date My Razors |
[26 Apr 2006|12:33pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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If you hate every inch of you.
Then why tell me not to change me?
If you cut your body with the razor.
The pain will fade.
If you change yourself.
Then you are only becomming what you want to be.
If you cut out all the bad things about your body then you are perfect.
If you do all these things then you are perfect.
And every inch of you, you will not hate.
You will love.
Love your changes.
Love your good parts.
And alter your bad parts.
This is how we change the world....
... because this is never the end of the blade.
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[01 Apr 2006|09:32pm] |
I'm new here
dont know anyone
but im so lost right now
somebody to talk to
that feels the same
would be nice
I just want perfection
more than anything else
and it seems imossible
but I can't seem to let it go
all I want is to be wanted
and accepted..
and ...happy :-/
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| *b l a h |
[15 Dec 2004|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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hey i'm new here n this community stood out verie much... lately i jus feel so alone so mayb i can meet sum new people on here n we can help eachother :o)...
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| Love me Hate me Kill me---At least I'm still me |
[01 Jul 2004|12:33pm] |
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mood |
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suicidal |
] |
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music |
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In the Shadows by: The Rasmus |
] |
I understand what it's like to not fit in. I've never fit in ever. Everywhere I go there's always someone staring because of this body I've been put in. My boobs are to big and so is my asss. I have this disease Vitiligo that scars my flesh so I am much like a Dalmation....black with wi=hite spots. Mabye it's cause I'm a bi-sexual but really I don't know. I'll never understand why they all hate me so much. Mabye it's cause I'm different or mabye it's just cause I'm me.
Always Alone
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| all alone once again |
[06 May 2004|11:43am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
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music |
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"reason" - hoobastank |
] |
right now i feel so alone. it seems like everyone is trying to ruin me. i have done nothing to anyone and if i did im sorry. all the people in my life mean so much to me and one person especially, ryan. he means the world to me. i love him more than he will ever know. i wish with all my soul that me and him could be together again, but that will never happen. he has moved on without me. i have moved on but with him yet he isnt with me. he is with me mentally but not physically. i wish he could feel what i feel but he never will. he said he loved me but now i know that he never did cuz if he did he wouldnt of hurt me like he did. i have never questioned his love for me but now i do. i always had my doubts but now my doubts are facts. facts that shatter my heart once again into smaller pieces. crushing the remains to dust. if he only knew how much i love him and how much he means to me. i have only felt happy when i am with him. he is the other part of me and i dont want to lose it but i have made my attempt to fix my faults with him but now he needs to help and fix his faults with me. one person can not fix it all.
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[02 May 2004|11:13am] |
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I am new here. I have never fit in, anywhere I went. I am meant to be alone, never meant to be born. I will die soon, I can feel it. Either by accident, or by my hand. I was unsuccessful the first time, but by my choice. I took the rope off, and couldn't find the strength to put it back on. The sad thing is, when I die, people will be angry probably, maybe sad...not for long of course. People will say "I never knew!" or "oh my god", or even "oh well". Some people may never know of my death, and think that I'm alive somewhere. What I want to be able to do, is to float around in the ether after death, and see all my old "friends" crying over their desk at work, or holding something I gave to them and weeping. So then I would know that I was missed. But I won't be able to see that. All I'll see is the barrel of the gun before the deafening sound. And then silence....thanks for listening.
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[30 Apr 2004|12:24pm] |
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im new so yeah. my name is lita. im mexican and have a big butt which i dont like. ummmmm...well i dont know what else to say so i will put more later on.
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[25 Mar 2004|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
] |
Hey, I'm new to the community. I'm Cynthia...I'm not sure what to say right now other than loneliness has always been a factor of my life so I've gotten used to it. So yeah, that's basically my two cents until I can think of something else to say.
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| new |
[18 Mar 2004|09:59am] |
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Hi, IM Jess, I am new to the community.
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| laying in bed |
[29 Feb 2004|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Linkin Park |
] |
I lay in my bed looking at the ceiling, my heart is split between two wants, one whom I had the other on who I never had. My life sucks. I sit around so alone, no one understand the pain I feel. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in bed all day, and not move not have to face people, my fiends who have no idea the pain I feel inside. I tried of hiding behind fake emotion of happiness, and joy. I want to cry I want to throw stuff I want someone to understand this pain I have in me to understand things just don't go away. I want to be love for everything that is me not just a part everything, I can't even get that from my own family it just me typical Misty I will never change. I hate this world.
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| alone |
[02 Feb 2004|11:01pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
] |
This is me, I feel lonely all the time. I don’t belong even when a close person told me I just need to find my place it like I don’t have one nor can it be found. I feel as if every one looks at me, inspects me, and looks to hurt me. Sometimes I don’t even want to wake up in the morning not get out of bed just lay there. I never belong and I never feel as if I will.
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| let this colony know in the name of the dead, were comming. |
[31 Jan 2004|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
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music |
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wester |
] |
in the shadows. i know this is what everyone seems to say, but this is where i live. its where i have always seemed to live my whole life. just because im not the same as mainstream america, just because i have my own idea's and opinions, i get am labeled as an outcast or whatever. i'd rather be and outcast than someone who will change for everyone that doesnt like the way they are. but when you live your life oblivious to whats going on around you, its that much harder to see when your life is falling apart....if that makes sense to anyone but me. whatever
-ghost-
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| Geh... It's been awhile... |
[31 Jan 2004|12:28pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Do As Infinity- Good For You |
] |
Hey, I haven't posted on here for like... ever, lol. Geh, we just got our computer back a week or so ago, so here I am again. *Shrugs* Geh... I told a friend about my slight cutting problem, and he told his other friend, who put it up in her livejournal... Needless to say I'm having a bad day after staying up till 2 to get her to take it down, talking to her, talking to him, and such... *bleh* And now I feel guilty because I told him that I hate him, and he had already been having a bad day... Oh well, I'm sure you guys don't wanna hear my sob story, lol. By the way, good news for anyone who cares. I've stopped cutting, completely. No pins, no knives, no needles. By now it's just because too many people know... So I figured it's for the best. ^_^
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| fell during the crash |
[25 Jan 2004|06:39pm] |
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my world feels like it was just hit by a big metor. all of my friends are leaving me. im alone now. everything is being taken away from me. yet im still here having to live through the misery of life.
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| +new+ |
[24 Dec 2003|04:17pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
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music |
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bloodied up by ALK3 |
] |
hey everyone.. as u can probably guess, im new around here. im not gunna bore u to death with my life story, but i seem to be in the same place as all of you so for now we'll leave it at that. the name of the community is what made me venture further, in the shadows is afterall where i can most often be found. it seemed apporopriate and now here i am! its about time theres a place for freaks like us. i dont fit in anywhere, not goth enough for the goths, not punk enough for the punks, to stupid for the nerds, as for the popular people & the preps, i wouldnt want to fit in there even if i did which i thank my lucky stars that i dont. im messed up in just about every way possible. i do bad things.. u name it, i either do it or have done it at somepoint in my life. cutter, anorexic, drunk, druggie, etc. well ok i guess i'll elaborate some other time..
+amanda+
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[24 Dec 2003|02:35pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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Evanescence - Imaginary |
] |
Title: Sorry, do I know you?
Written: Thursday, 25 December 2003, 6:03:02 AM
Category: Angst, Life
Rating: PG
Note: Not sure who this is written about, it does relate to a few of my friend but not one in whole for the entire poem just parts of it.
( Poem, Sorry, do I know you? )
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[23 Dec 2003|12:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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stressed |
] |
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music |
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"Family System"-Chevelle |
] |
yeah. my names tess. this community is for people who dont really fit in. and well here iam.
because i definately dont fit in with anybody. i feel like i can't even fit in with any sterotypical crowd as some would say. preps;goths;skaters;nerds. i cant even fit in with anybody without feeling like so much of an outcast.
i guess i suffer from social aniexty. yeah.. ive been a cutter for 5 years. its only started to get bad where i cut myself and i bleed alot. im trying to limit my days when i cut. so i dont cut as much. people say i cut because i get "pleasure" from it. at least i dont think i do. eh im a freak whatcha gonna do.
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[23 Dec 2003|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
] |
Hi, I'm new here. Wow, a community for people who don't fit in... It really does come in handy, ne? Well... Throughout most of my life I was just the fat, geeky kid that no one ever liked... I mean, I suppose I have some good friends and stuff, and I fit in more now, but I still don't feel like I really belong. Most of my friends know nothing about the real me, and only see the show that I always put on, which makes it kind of easier on relationships, but not myself. Though I'm sure there are plenty of people like that, so I guess I can't complain much. I get really depressed often, and I used to cut (somewhat, but only rarely, and never deep because I was too afraid of someone noticing), but ever since my friend found out, I've been using hot wax to burn myself instead. Not as much pain, but it doesn't leave a mark... *shrugs*... Well... Um, I probably talked a bit too much... So I guess I'll just finish with, hi, I'm new ^_^.
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[21 Dec 2003|09:55pm] |
Hey well I just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas early cause I probably won't be here the day prior to it. I really don't know what the hell to say but take care and don't go crashing into anything drunk on new years eve.
::Justin::
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