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today was like.. weird... kyle as it turns out changed his mind about coming over. but i did convice him to invite me over to james'. it was nice, i talked to him about stuff i havent told anyone and he just didnt totally freak out or anything, which was nice. lets see... before mom dropped me at james', we went to the fireworks store, i got some spark-shooting things and three boxes of sparklers. i got to james'... i just sat around and followed kyle, cause i really wanted to talk to him about this thing. at nine, i got fed up and called home. kyle reminded me that it was me that was leaving, not him. and i hung up. i talked to him. i kind of leaned on him, he was laying down and i sat and basically used his -self- as an armrest, he didnt seem care. after i told him, he gave me a hug. then me, him and james went to go set off my fireworks. the two dollar ones were pretty. then we all climbed up the rocket thing at the park across from his house. we talked about stuff. i felt really shitty, i usually do after any physical activity. on the way back to james, i kept grabbing for kyles hand out of habit. so id apologize. eventually he goes, stop apologizing, its just a habit. when we got back to james', the went thru one of kyle's cds that he brought along. Engel by Ramstein came on and kyle turned it off. that was the song we first... yeah... he goes "ive heard that song too much". of course my eyes had already got all watery at the first second of the song. im actually kind of glad i lost the rammstein cd... but i wish i could have it so i could remember stuff. but i do agree with him a bit, ive only heard that song what... 50 times. then we sat around, kyle played this one PS2 game and i watched. i callled mom and she cae and got me. she totally bitched me out on the way home. i made her feel guilty tho. i said how she didnt even notice how depressed id been. she goes, "oh i knew that was because youre sick" arg! she didnt even know that kyle broke up with me! so i didnt tell her the real reason ive been so depressed. i told her she didnt deserve to know. that got her off my goddamned back. |
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blah.