Blurty for ªm¥.
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| Monday, June 9th, 2003 |
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so far, today has been the worst day of my life. i have a shit load of homework to do and i couldnt concentrate because of the whole kyle thing. i knew he was at james' so i snuck out and biked over. it was twice as long as i thought it was going to be. i also knew that i would be grounded for th whole summer. but i thought it would all be worth it because id open the door to james' trailer, kyle would be standing there and i walk up to him and say that i was sorry, and that i didnt want this to happen. then wed hug and everything would be better i get there, totally exgausted, james and sean are playing ps2, kyles sitting there on the couch and ignores me. i wait thru 2 games of ps2 football and finally sit by kyle. he moves. i try and play the game, i cant do it because my eyes wont focus. i give the controller to james. kyle wanders over to the computer. i follow, sit on the work-out thing and kyle goes online. i just sit there, i have nothing to say. he says something about it "just being awkward now" i sit there, trying not to cry. i give up, head out the door. kyle just leans on the back of the couch and says "later". i get out the door, realize that this whole thing was entirely pointless. start crying. collect myself and go in and ask james if he has any pop. wtach another game of ps2 football. i still cant talk to kyle. i leave, this time for real. same reaction from kyle. get on my bike. bike about 2 blocks. im crying so hard i cant see where im going. i almost get hit by a car. i give up on biking the how-ever-many miles it is home. go back to james, lie and say that my bike got fucked up. try to call home. mom is gone, kevin cant find her cell number, hes also asking where i am. i yell at him, james, sean and kyle look at me. i sit around. watching more games of ps2 football. finally kyles parents come to pick him up, i get a ride home from them. it was the longest five minute car ride ive ever been on. kyle talks about how hes doing something with james on wednesday. i guess it really is over. he mentions wanting to go swimming. i say i have a dock. he doesnt listen. we get to my house, get my bike out of the back of the car. i keep waiting for kyle to come over to me. it never happens. i just stand there. kyles not even entirely in the car ((he got out to get my bike out)). i start crying even harder than i had before. drop my bike on the pavement. and sat down here. i really should be doing my homework... but im done with this blurty. it ruined what me and kyle had. that something i dont think i can ever get back. kyle, if youre reading this, im sorry and i love you. -Amy- |
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Blurty for ªm¥.
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