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Thursday, July 17th, 2003

Subject: boreddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Time: 3:36 am. Mood: blank.

You're Jif! Which brand of peanut butter are you? brought to you by Quizilla Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is concerned that it may not get a second term. Therefore, we are going to change the rules so that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2 votes because Democrat is a shorter word than Republican What threat to the Bush administration are you? brought to you by Quizilla lol so true. I got two cds today, Vendetta Red- Between The Never And The Now and Dropkick Murphys - blackout. theyre both really good. i go now, bye bye. -Amy-

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Subject: whoa... i am lame Time: 12:43 am. Mood: lame. Music: deftones.

i have reached an all time low... online dating. me and this one dude gave each other our emails and stuff. if he looks anything like his picture, hes... actually he looks a lot like kyle. but better. he lives in mn so if he doesnt seem like a total pshycho killer, i might actually meet him eventaully (im a public place of course, im not THAT stupid) lol. and now for your viewing pleasure, a quiz The Twenties. Which Decade Are You? brought to you by Quizilla well, i have to go get pictures framed. whooo hooo (sarcasm). maybe i can convince mom to go to target and get ME some paints because my stuff is all used up. -Amy, the desprate online dater.

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Subject: mailio Time: 5:43 pm. Mood: bored.

my permit came in the mail! it actually looks decent. i got to drive a little yesterday, but then the road we were supposed to go on was closed so mom took over and we went back on the main road. i dont like driving very much. i mean, its easy and all but i keep thinking im going to hit something. lol paranoid amy. speaking of paranoid amy, i keep thinking that theres this creepy guy in my room. i know hes not there, but i still have to turn on the lights and look under my bed. which makes me feel like a total jackass. but i cant get any sleep untill i do. lol. sackett was half decent today, he gopt tired because of the heat and was being lazy, but thats was okay because i was a tired amy from not sleeping the night before because of the non-existant creepy guy that lives under my bed. i think ive been having too much caffine and then reading murder mysteries a little more often than i should be. i found this horse that looks almost exactly like sackett online. so me and mom might be going over to hudson and looking at him. in 40 min im going over to kyles. i didnt really expect him to invite me over, but im not complaining. im guessing i should change out of my barn clothes. theyre covered with white powder from the supplements. i look like a drug lord. lol. last night my mom after constantly bugging me about my guitar, told me to bring it downstairs so she could tune it for me (i have no sense of tone) and she broke my A string. >BAM< im bored. i will go read my book now. bye bye where do all the letters you delete go?

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Subject: whoa.. lack of updates... Time: 7:08 pm. Mood: chipper. Music: jake howling.

ill type about yesterday.. once i can remember what happened... whoa... i have no idea. i woke up, read fearless #16 from cover to cover. it took me like an hour and a half. went downstairs, had breakfast at 2. i know kevin had a lot of friends over, but i dont remem.... oh! around 430, gina called me and asked me why i wasnt at the movie me and my nerd friends were supposed to go to. me and brittni had planned it and she was supposed to call me if she got other people to go. well i guess she "forgot" to call me. stupid. a few hours later mom decides were gonna go to a movie. so i walk over to the computer to get the times of the showings. kevin had left the computer online with an email up, so i read it... "hey...((stuff))... kiss kiss, kevin" whoa. that child is only 12. it was quite pathetic. i go to moviefone.com and i get the times and start printing them. kevin comes into the computer room says "GET ON YOUR OWN NAME, YOU STUPID BITCH!" rather foul launguae for a 12 year old... i said no, because i was already on the site and it was printing. kevin goes over to mom and starts crying. i can tell hes faking, but appaerently mom cant. he tells her that i was "going thru all my email and then she yelled at me and told me to go away, and then she hit me, and i hate her, she always does this to me" WTF? obviously he doesnt want amy to go to the movie. eventually i figured out that there were two different movies starting at about the same time. so i said "look you stupid gullible idoits ((not really but i was thinking that)) go here, do this, be happy" i saw pirates of the carribean with mom and kevin saw league of extraordinary gentlemen with dad. we ever had to drive sepreate cars because kevin was "too afraid (more crying)" to ride in the car with me. jesus. the movie was really good. and the movie theater had a DDR!!!! it was a different theater than we usually go to so i was rather surprised. i tried one game with my vans. vans and DDR do not work nicely. i failed the first song. i took, off my vans and did pretty good for not playing in a long long time. then i went home and looked at more horses. since i dont wanna do the link thing.... ill just post their pictures behind this beautiful ( journal linkage ) Im getting really excited about this because its probably going to happen. Weeeee! lets see... tomorrow im going over to kyles. so that will be like.. interesting. today... i woke up, read the third princess diaries book, the whole thing. took me about two hours. then i had my one oc'clock breakfast. went to parker hughes, got a shot. ate at mcdonalds. came home. felt guitly about mcdonalds. did 50 situps. felt better. got online. now i am currently petting my brothers dog who smells like a dusty fish. oh well. hes cute, and when you go "are you a good boy?" to him, he howls. which is very very cute if you ask me. and i cant stop looking at this horse lol thats all for now. bye bye -Amy-

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Subject: wow... Time: 12:18 am. Mood: happy. Music: Fly from the Inside - Shine Down(band).

i talked to my mom and were probably going to get a third horse. i would be "my" horse. im really excited about this because it isnt going to be like some old dead-broke one. its going to be a baby. the really cool part is that i will be training it. not just like "you go here" "you do that" but when its old enough, i will be saddle breaking it. im really wired even at the thought of it. we have two prospects picked out. if you wanna see, here are the links: http://dreamhorse.com/show_horse.php?form_horse_id=292242 http://dreamhorse.com/show_horse.php?form_horse_id=294101 what do you think? if it does work out, i will be getting them in august. im so happy!!!!! i've talked to my mom many times about getting another horse, but shes actually listening to me this time. i will probably have to get some sort of job, but thats not bothering me. my idea, with this colt, is to get him used to everything. i mean everything. i will pony (lead while riding another horse) him on the trail so he can see deer and pheasants and turkeys. i will sack him out everyday with various items. i will teach him to lay down on command (its almost impossible to teach a full grown horse). ill take him along with me to the shows we go to and pony him around the grounds. i want him to have seen and gotten used to everything by the time hes old enough to ride (two). if a horse has been handled enough, they will hardly react to being saddled. its like theyve been doing it their whole lives. ill stop talking now. goodnight, Amy

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Subject: well, ive been very bored lately.. Time: 9:00 pm. Mood: bored. Music: Ball and Biscuit - White Stripes.

i did nothing today. caroline ((riding instructor type that sold me sackett)) still hasnt emailed me back. erg. well, id type, but i have nothing to type. lol. ttyl -Amy-

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Subject: hee hee Time: 7:45 pm. Mood: happy.

look at what i made!!!! lmao isnt he cute? i can make icons now and i am a happy camper! yay!! -Amy-

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Subject: Whoa... pervert moment.... Time: 11:07 pm. Mood: lonely. Music: A World So Cold - Mudvayne.

it seems like everyones avoiding me. everyones busy. all the time. oh well. i feel like ive made a big mistake about the whole talking to jeff thinger. stupid amy. but hey, what can i do, whats over is over. or is it...im so confused about a ton of things and its just making being stuck at home even worse. but i really want to like go somewhere with some of my "friends" but theyre all busy. i think im going to stay up late and clean my room. yep, thats how lame i am. it doesnt help that my brother has had at least five (no shit) over every day since school started and has two sleeping over right now. I HATE THIS SUMMER. ( Dylan the Pervert )

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Subject: Ha! I took quizzes i knew i would pass to make myself feel better about myself! wh00t! Time: 6:44 pm. Mood: blah.

Soon, i shall make another quiz, in the mean time, i will take these.:.:.:. Piebald/Skewbald: you're so different! Everyone loves you, you have a great personality, funny sense of humor, you can be sarcastic but its all good! Many people like you even though you aren't too popular :) ..::Which Color Horse Are You::.. brought to you by Quizilla Congratulations! You have adopted Rio, the Andalusian! Adopt a Horse brought to you by Quizilla Oh my gosh! You're incredibly smart! You must have spent a lot of time studying to know these answers, maybe you should spend more time with your horse... And you thought you knew everything about horses... brought to you by Quizilla You like Mr Ed don't you. I can tell. You speak Mr Ed's kinda horse language... which is basically English... so... yeah... well done... Can you speak horse? brought to you by Quizilla You are a really good rider! Why don't you go to Vienna to visit and perform on a Lippizaner? This quiz was way too easy! How good of a horseback rider are you? brought to you by Quizilla WOW!!! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HORSES!!! YOU RULE!! :D How horse crazy are you really? (now with pictures) brought to you by Quizilla Well, children, that comes from giving up my social life... Why did i do all these horse themed quizzes? to make me feel better about myself of course.

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Subject: Andy's Sites Time: 11:14 pm. Mood: happy. Music: Fine Again - Seether.

my friend, andy makes awsome music, here are his sites: IWNBTRIIS ((first site)) IWNBTRIIS ((second site)) Visit, download and spread the joy!

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Subject: amy's big day out Time: 10:19 pm. Mood: calm. Music: Holding On - Saliva.

today was busy i had another transfusion. i was feeling pretty good by the end tho. i had about 3 cokes. so im still wired. after wards, i convinced mom to take me to best buy. i really really have wanted saliva and disturbed for a really long time. when we got there i was like "whoa" and got deftones too. the saliva cd is awesome. i think everyone should get it. not rip it off online because that is slightly lame and non-digital always sounds better. its got two of the best songs ever written, "rest in pieces" and "always". i love those songs. best songs ive ever heard. if you do download them online, go get the cd too. its awesome. i could listen to it forever. always really describes the way i felt after kyle broke up with me. its an awesome song. i love it. deftones is good after the firet few songs. but you have to be in the mood for it. disturbed is awesome. i was in a very saliva mood today tho. afterwards, we went to the barn. sackett was full of shit, but i got it out of him. canter, stop, backup, 180, canter, stop, backup, 180, canter, stop, backup, 180, canter, stop, backup, 180, canter, stop, backup, 180, canter, stop, backup, 180... etc. it was rather fufilling. i met the new person at the barn. im still undeceded about her, i mean she rides boring stuff. but she seems nice. her parents are a little odd, but theyre cool. after that, we went to the saddle club meeting, as usual, im making the hi-point forms and stuff. i also get to pin matching numbers together. woo! at least it gives me something to do. i really want a cheering section at the show. its july 26th at the washington county fairgrounds. please please come and cheer me on! woo! you know you want to! you know what? ill put a picture of my pretty pretty pony here, let me find one...arg, cant find the posse's site... lol. i have some on my website, let me go steal it... ah ha! ( my baby ((sackett)) ) pretty, pretty please with sugar on top, come! this is my time to shine! and you should be there. there will be food on the grounds. bringing fold-y chairs is NOT a bad idea. talk to me for directions. im going to get as many people as possible. if sackett isnt homocidal, i will allow "pony rides". have a nice day and visit me! -Amy- ((sackett says hi too))

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Subject: lmao lmao lmao Time: 9:12 pm.

1 More Dizzy Loser - Run Around in Circles

Subject: Albatoss Time: 8:28 pm. Mood: happy.

i just thought this dude was cool-looking... hes from a mario game yay! bye bye -Amy-

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Time: 1:43 pm. Mood: blah. Music: Whoops, I OD'd - NoFX.

today sucks have no where to go ( shelly's suvery thinger that i never did, but now i have done it ) -Amy-

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Subject: horse show Time: 8:14 pm. Mood: bitchy. Music: Ka-Boom Ka-Boom - Marilyn Manson.

today i got up and got ready to go to the horse show thinger. dad goes "oh, mom said shed call when she wants you to get to the barn." i told him that hes supposed to bring me to the barn at eleven so i can get sackett ready and stuff while mom brings the truck and trailer so we can switch horses. of course he insists that what he knows is right and at 1230 mom calls and i answer. i tell dad that mom called and he finally brings me to the barn. when we get there, i get sackett ready, moms been waiting for me for quite a while. dad goes into this whole thing. god, cant he ever admit that hes wrong?? so then we go to the show grounds. when we get there its in the middle of egg and spoon. so ive missed my first class. i go and get registered for my other class thingers. then i got sackett out of the trailer. he was a total shit for poles and key. when ring race finally comes around, ive tired the shit out of him. he was afraid of the rings, but not as bad as it could of been. i get three rings at a very slow pace because he doesnt want to run past them incase they suddenly suck the life out of him or something, and my new rein breaks! i drop the stick thing and get off. stupid rein. mom ended up returning the rein. i mean she JUST bought it at the show. arg. speed dash went decent, we went fast, but he didnt try to kill me, so im good with that, no? then we packed up and went home. when i walk in the door, dad start accusing me of deleting all of kevins games off of the computer. i bet the little shit did it just so that i get blamed for it. this is pissing me off, so ill do a survey! ( i steal from sadie. ha! ) -Amy- i really want some eggs right now... i guess its cause i had so many french fries... that makes no sense. oh well, thats me.

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Time: 10:30 am. Mood: bored. Music: (s)AINT - Marilyn Manson.

( more quizzes i remembered to hide! )

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Subject: matches Time: 10:26 pm. Mood: anxious. Music: Your Star - All American Rejects.

around seven, i ordered a pizza. when it came, jake (dog) started barking at the pizza dude. the dude ((old)) goes "what are you barking at me for?" except he said it kind of funny and i couldnt tell if he was playing around with the dog or actually expecting an answer. creepy. but anyways, i got my pizza and cinnasticks. then i went back to the computer and talked to reesie and kyle... i think. the pizza was really nasty-like and tried to cover my poor keyboard with grease. it tasted pretty good tho. the cinnasticks were good too. mom and kevin and dad got home from a restraunt. i didnt want to go because kevins been pissing me off and i doubt i could of eaten. mom started a movie. it was one of those annoying movies. why do they even bother making them?? but i wanted to see the end of the damn thing so i sat thru it. CIA movies almost always suck. after the annoying movie, i got online and im looking for some blurty codes. ive also used half a book of matches. i just light them and blow them out. i can actually light them in one try now, which is something to be said, considering how hard those damn things are to light. do you have any idea how fucking annoying KoRn can be if youre not in the mood for it? i think im going to break that damn cd. -sigh of relief-All American Rejects, finally. i havent listened to them for the longest time. not since kyle laughed at me for listening to them. well im laughing at you now! ha! actually, he sounds kind of depressed lately. i wish hed talk to me or something. im going to go to sleep and dream wonderful sex dreams. goodnight, -Amy-

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Subject: quizzes Time: 7:47 pm. Mood: blank. Music: Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park.

Primary Ability: Empath Empaths posess the ability to feel the emotions of others. They are gentle people, who encourage and nurture others. They percieve the world with their hearts and not with their minds. Empaths make great friends because they understand people. Secondary Ability: Beastspeaker Beastspeakers are gifted with the enviable ability to communicate with the animals around them. Most Beastspeakers are genuine people, and tend to enjoy time in the open air, instead of inside doing mundane chores. In general, Beastspeakers love the environment almost as much as they love their animals and friends. What is your Misfit Talent? You are Marilyn Manson. Who are you? brought to you by Quizilla So, not only do i talk to animals, but i kill them for my own amusement. yay! The Jackal What sign of the Black Zodiac are you? brought to you by Quizilla I wouldnt mind having that job schizoid Which Personality Disorder Do You Have? brought to you by Quizilla sounds about right... Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange darkness and sadness lurk about you. What element would you rein over? (For Girls) brought to you by Quizilla You are Pyrokinetic! What's Your Magic Power? brought to you by Quizilla Thats what i thought id get.... maybe im really psychic. Raver Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla im not sure if iver taken these before or w/e. well, i gotta go watch a movie with mom. bye bye -Amy-

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Subject: and now i type Time: 5:20 pm.

I have nothing to do for the rest of today. i guess thats normal. hmmm. i feel like typeing a lot but i dont ahve much to type about. god i hate leeches. i have to give up the computer to fuckhead. it seems that whenever i finnally think i can type, it takes the damn computer away. now i have nothing at all to do. Amy

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Subject: the boom/blip... Time: 12:53 am. Mood: tired. Music: Fireball CD.

fireworks were awesome. but i feel so damn jealous. there was this unlit part of one and i started picking at it and i got some powder on my hand so i couldnt light any more. i didnt want to catch fire. the guys from MDS were there, and everyone knows who they were. i liked it better when i was one of the few who did. i see the lead guy. i have a fraction of a second before the person im talking to goes "OMIGAWD!!!! thats the dude from MDS!!!!!!" me and lila walk a little farther along. lila gets ice cream things and we walk back. all four guys are standing off the sidewalk. totally surronded by girls. i want to hate them so badly. i wanted to go, "hello! ive known about your band longer than all these shitheads. why dont you talk to me for a change?" if jeff was online id go "jeff, if hes not taken already, set me up with mike bishop" but since hes not... i guess i type here. god, im getting desprate for male attention. im probably gonna end up calling steve by the end of the week. arg. well dis B wer i leve u. -Amy-

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Subject: hmmm... Time: 7:07 pm. Mood: bored. Music: CD i got at the Fireball.

i went to lila's tapioca thingy. most of it was pretty funny, but a lot of the randomness was repeated. there was this thing about swiss cheese and clouds attacking people... but it was good. leslie and her sister were there. i felt like her sister was like.. constantly judging me. it was weird. bad vibes, bad vibes. i saw steve there, hes like.. grown out his hair and is actually... very decent. i think ill call him sometime over the summer and be like "hey... im bored. lets do something" and yeah. god, im bored. i hit an old lady on accident, i was walking and i like, whacked her with my arm. oops... i figured out a way to keep kids off of drugs. instead of saying "oh, its a bad thing, dont do it." they should just show this one episode of cops where theres this heavy drug using person, shes like... its hard to tell, but i wanna say, around 40? and shes got this ugly whole body tattoo. she cant sit still and shes wobbling all over the place. and then for no reason she takes off her sweatshirt and falls off of the bench she's handcuffed to. its just really sad that people do these things to themselves. shes got these nasty, nasty infected needle marks too. speaking of needles, i have another IV on tuesday. im so fucking sick of it. makes me want to kill people. i wonder if theyre gonna run out of places to poke me. lol. i guess ill leave you here. think of this, next time you see me ill probably be covered with horrible burn marks because i just HAD to touch the glowing wire... lmao. -Amy-

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Subject: hello again Time: 2:52 pm. Mood: sore. Music: Naked - MDS.

i found a ton of cds i thought id lost. it was a good thing. i listened to rammstein for the first time in a while. it was kind of weird. but i dunno. Battle of the Bands was fun. i got there and met up with people. watched some of the first band, they were pretty good. the lead dude was hot. as was the bass player. someone brought those puffcorn things. i dont really like them because... well, theyre like eating styrofoam. something id like to pass on, if you get what im saying. then the second band came on, they werent as good. everyone went over to the drinking fountain and stuff. we got into this water fight and my pants were wet the rest of the day. but it was fun. the water from the bathroom was warm... like almost hot. the stuff from the drinking fountain was nice and cold tho. interesting. finally the modern day supplement came on. they keep getting better. their bass player (mike bishop) is like... lmao. i wonder if i can get jeff to set me up with him, since he knows the band. lmao. the last band that came one, eleven bravo, i didnt like. they sounded exactly like stuff id heard before. and i kept thinking "josie and the pussycats". when they did the placings, MDS won ((of course)), eleven bravo got second ((i think that this is because they let some dudes little sister play bss for one of the songs)) and the first band got third. i think that they people that went first should of gotten second and eleven bravo third. the other band really wasnt that good. then today i woke up, ate breakfast, played guitar, played bass, and got online.

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Subject: [[nut[my day]shell]] Time: 11:56 pm. Mood: blank.

woke up a few times before i was forced to go down stairs. had a decent breakfast, then went to parker-hughes. i got another transfusin of stuff. it was boring as always. its my fifth IV stab. the first time they couldnt get it into the vein, so they had to try agian. god that hurts. finally they started me on the iv. i think i had about 4 cokes and $15 worth of vending machine food. i guess being forced to sit in a chair for fivehours will have that effect on you. after, we stopped at schimidt music to get some bass music. we walked out woth a fender stratocaster amp and case. all for amy. i also got a book on how to play guitar. i finished it and memorized a few thingys. its much less painful than bass. im still gonna be playing bass tho, guitar is for me. im going to get a few other things to play and ill be set for mext week, im getting another transfusion and they said i could bring it along as long as i use headphones :) some one sent me a really really nasty email. if you have any info as to who did it, email me. -Amy-

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Subject: meh Time: 12:03 am. Mood: blah. Music: Bodies - Drowning Pool.

today was like.. weird... kyle as it turns out changed his mind about coming over. but i did convice him to invite me over to james'. it was nice, i talked to him about stuff i havent told anyone and he just didnt totally freak out or anything, which was nice. lets see... before mom dropped me at james', we went to the fireworks store, i got some spark-shooting things and three boxes of sparklers. i got to james'... i just sat around and followed kyle, cause i really wanted to talk to him about this thing. at nine, i got fed up and called home. kyle reminded me that it was me that was leaving, not him. and i hung up. i talked to him. i kind of leaned on him, he was laying down and i sat and basically used his -self- as an armrest, he didnt seem care. after i told him, he gave me a hug. then me, him and james went to go set off my fireworks. the two dollar ones were pretty. then we all climbed up the rocket thing at the park across from his house. we talked about stuff. i felt really shitty, i usually do after any physical activity. on the way back to james, i kept grabbing for kyles hand out of habit. so id apologize. eventually he goes, stop apologizing, its just a habit. when we got back to james', the went thru one of kyle's cds that he brought along. Engel by Ramstein came on and kyle turned it off. that was the song we first... yeah... he goes "ive heard that song too much". of course my eyes had already got all watery at the first second of the song. im actually kind of glad i lost the rammstein cd... but i wish i could have it so i could remember stuff. but i do agree with him a bit, ive only heard that song what... 50 times. then we sat around, kyle played this one PS2 game and i watched. i callled mom and she cae and got me. she totally bitched me out on the way home. i made her feel guilty tho. i said how she didnt even notice how depressed id been. she goes, "oh i knew that was because youre sick" arg! she didnt even know that kyle broke up with me! so i didnt tell her the real reason ive been so depressed. i told her she didnt deserve to know. that got her off my goddamned back.

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Subject: yayyy Time: 1:36 pm. Mood: anxious. Music: just the voices....

this is so cool. kyles coming over tomorrow. eeee. i cant wait. today is pointless, i doubt ill have to change out of my pajamas. there arent any good cop shows on untill five. so i have nothing to do. wait.. since today is sunday, maybe therell be something on... hmmm... well now i have to go check. i wishwehad some decent food in this house. im tired of being stuffed with eggs and bananna bread. both of which i liked quite a big, but now im not so sure... oh well.

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Subject: wow :) Time: 1:27 am. Mood: happy. Music: none, its 130 in the morning.

i was talking to kyle about an hour ago. hes going to come over on monday and hes actually going to pretend that the whole blurty thing never happened. if you dont know what im talking about, dont ask. ive never been happier in my life. :)

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Subject: cow porn! Time: 11:46 pm. Mood: amused. Music: St. Anger - Metallica.

PosingJaneice: LOL what would you do with a cow pencil? Fire Fly3456: id write cow porno Fire Fly3456: lmao PosingJaneice: LMFAO PosingJaneice: "he gently swept his moist hand accross the velvety black spot on the cows gorgeous side near her lovely 2nd stomach"

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Subject: brothers are unnessisary Time: 6:40 pm. Mood: annoyed. Music: brother talking about his "band".

"mommy, kevin's copying me" he keeps fucking around with my bass, so i have to re tune it every five minutes. now hes begging mom for a guitar. *involentary eye twitch*. do you know how much ass i had to kiss to get anywhere near that bass????? mom has already fucking found him a guitar. its like $150. and theyre gonna buy it, right now. he doesnt have to take lessons or shit. and im guessing that im never going to be able to touch it. garg! it was my secret ambition to learn bass, then teach myself guitar. he keeps going on and on about how hes gonna be in a band and shit. cause one of his friends plays drum set. "mommy, he stole my dreams" now im never going to hear the end of how he played guitar longer than me. course knowing him hell quit before i have time to save up for a decent guitar and ill be forced to use the one thta kevin spilled grape jelly on ((and yes im pretty sure this will happen)). i know i should be glad for him, but jesus. amy hates that child. amy is mad. amy needs a hug. amy needs a life.

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Subject: a quiz and some of my ramblings... Time: 12:27 pm. Mood: blah. Music: jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

I learned how to play jingle bells on bass! wh00t! im like.. happy... sort of... im going to see finding nemo with some of my nerd friends. itll be nice to talk to them. ( useless )

Run Around in Circles

Subject: wow Time: 2:00 am. Mood: chipper. Music: mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb....

you know what ive just realized? when ever im with kyle and hes got his arm around me or something, my stomach stops hurting ((this is a constant for me, because of what i have)). then when i leave, it always seems worse, and i realized thats because when im with him, i dont feel it. its awesome. a revelation. lol. i blame endorphines. right now im sitting in the computer chair with my bass on my lap and im playing the G-major scale from heart. ive also figured out all of the other notes on the damn thing so i can play "snake charmer" "mary had a little lamb" "hot crossed buns" and various other basic piano songs. needless to say, i am very proud of myself. this is what my rental bass looks like, although, the yellow is much, much brighter. i also have a matching cable. its yellow! oh and, if you can think of any basic piano songs, feel free to tell me. ive figued out that for some note there are three different places you can play them. but, most have two. they are five up and one string over. since there are 22 frets and 4 strings, there are three notes with four different fingerings... yes ive realized that im talking boringness, but there is NO law that says you have to listen. at the DMV, there was this guy with short blackish hair, but he grew out his bangs and had them dyed purple and braided ((one on each side)). me and mom got into another guy/girl argument. it was obviously a guy. a girl would of made the braids even. she would also not... sound like a guy! wow, i love my bass, it makes me feel all happy inside. i love my hair, its hanging straight and not frizzy. i love my permit, although i have yet to use it. mom wanted me to drive back from the hair place, but i decided that this would be a bad place for my first drive on a public road. as there were... well, people. im supposed to get a call about behind-the-wheel soon. i love knowing that even if this guy doesnt feel totally the same way about me, hell still be there. you know what? for once everything is going half decent, and i have a bunch of metal strings attached to a piece of wood to thank. wow, i feel good, this is unusual. oh well, not everything new is bad :) -Amy-

2 More Dizzy Losers - Run Around in Circles

Subject: for once, it works out... Time: 9:20 pm. Mood: happy. Music: sounds of my happy yellow bass.

today was really cool. i got woken up by mom. she said that when i got out of bed we'd go to the DMV and i could finally take my permit test. when i eventually did come down stairs i ate some food and we left. I PASSED! since the line was so long, we had to go directly to get my hair cut, she was kinda rough but it looks cool. its about an inch and a hlaf shorter and a liuttle longer in the front than the back. its deffinatly less frizzy too. we went home for a few minutes. went to my bass lesson, the rent me a yellow bass with a matching yellow cord. its a happy bass. my lesson was cool. my teacher dude looks kinda like mr. fredine. after the lesson we ate at blimpies and mom drove me over to kyles. im not gonna go into what happened, cause i dont wanna jinx it. lmao but life is good and i think that, well i dun wanna say it or jinx it. but im happy -Amy-

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Subject: Quiz Time: 6:46 pm. Mood: blah. Music: Lila talking on the fellytone.

Heres a quiz i did when i got bored. peace. Anger [ x ] Who did you last get angry with | Mom [ x ] What is your weapon of choice | something on fire and pointy [ x ] Would you hit a member of the opposite sex | yes with a crowbar [ x ] How about of the same sex | yes with a crowbar [ x ] Who was the last person who got really angry at you | Kyle [ x ] What is your pet peeve | bad breath [ x ] Do you keep grudges or can you let them go easily | keep grudges Sloth [ x ] What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time | make my bed [ x ] What is the latest you've ever woken up | 3pm [ x ] Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't | Yiffee [ x ] What is the last lame excuse you made | i feel off my horse [ x ] Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through | yeah, it was for funniest home videos, they kept showing a cow humping someone and at 4 in the morning it was very very funny [ x ] When was the last time you got a good workout in | not for a LONG time [ x ] How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today | its summer... Gluttony [ x ] What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice | i just like coke [ x ] Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat | dark [ x ] What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event | not a lot [ x ] Have you ever used a professional diet company | no [ x ] Do you have an issue with your weight | no [ x ] Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods | salty [ x ] Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought | yes Lust [ x ] How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family) | totally.... 1 [ x ] How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family) | totally.... 1 [ x ] Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation | lmao not answering [ x ] Have you "done it" | with what? [ x ] What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice | man-boobs, just ask james [ x ] Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute | lmao n [ x ] Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy | wouldnt you like to know ;) Greed [ x ] How many credit cards do you own | 0 [ x ] What's your guilty pleasure store | mrs. fields cookies [ x ] If you had $1 million, what would you do with it | buy a life [ x ] Would you rather be rich, or famous | when your famous your most likely rich [ x ] Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks | yes [ x ] Have you ever stolen anything | yes [ x ] How many MP3s are on your hard drive | 60 or so Pride [ x ] What one thing have you done that you're most proud of | not much [ x ] What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of | haven’t been arrested yet [ x ] What thing would you like to accomplish in your life | happiness [ x ] Do you get annoyed by coming in second place | depends [ x ] Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the others | no [ x ] Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score | yeah its called high school test [ x ] What did you do today that you're proud of | nothing... Envy [ x ] What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own | id want... andy's computer [ x ] Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with | i dunno [ x ] If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be | no one [ x ] Have you ever been cheated on | im starting to think that i have been [ x ] Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own | i want a bra size! [ x ] What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself | persuasion [ x ] Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin | all of the above LILA FUCKS HAMPSTERS!!!!

Run Around in Circles

Subject: effin eff Time: 11:43 pm. Mood: blank. Music: New Beginning - Trapt.

they seriously messed up on my hair, its basically black with different tones, some is copper-y and some is blueish. it looks like i used an expired black dye. maybe itll lighten up a little or something. what happened: [1] they bleached the highlights [2] put the blue dye ((stuff i bought)) on the highlights [3] put the brown dye in between the highlights [4] the blue didnt cover everything, but it was a fucking awesome color, it was all... light turquoise. [5] they use a different ((darker)) blue color to fill in the empty spots [6] rinse and dry [7] its really dark and ugly now i look even paler than usual. i hope the doctor doesnt go all "too pale, needs more pills" or something. i did an "official" pill count, i have to take... 28 pills a day. eck. and thats not counting the sleeping pill i usually have to take. one of them is squishy, i was squishing it for ten minutes before mom goes "its not going to help you if you dont take it" i beg to differ. it made me laugh, laughing makes endorphines and they are good. i think that really really sick people should have to take squishy pills because they are quite...squishy. and... squishy. hmmm... i start bass on friday, i cant wait, im gonna do 6-string so i can play some guitar stuff if i get bored and want to. and yeah. i might be going over to kyles on friday... if i didnt totally scare him. lol Sleep tight... Amy ( ...M.a.n.s.o.n... )

Run Around in Circles

Subject: i made a community! Time: 7:48 pm. Mood: productive. Music: Spade - Marilyn Manson.

bugzapped go there, it is my own beautiful creation. bugzapped join it and entry-afy it. bugzapped those who do will get extra presents from santa. bugzapped once again: bugzapped thanks! bugzapped -Amy PS, its bugzapped

Run Around in Circles

Time: 10:58 am. Mood: happy. Music: mOBSCENE - Marilyn Manson.

Today im getting my hair dyed. yay! its gonna be dark brown with blue highlights. yay! im also getting my eyebrows waxed. i wonder if you people will even recognize me. well you probably will, but thats not the point now is it? ( Look, a Dylan! ) Have a nice day, all you non-blue haired people. may you be beaten to death my orphans. -Amy-

Run Around in Circles

Subject: nyeitch Time: 10:04 pm. Mood: annoyed. Music: Conga Feeling - Vivian.

its just a sound... dad's mad at me for spilling sprite on the "new floor" hes really mad. the funny thing is that i dont drink sprite. -Amy?

Run Around in Circles

Subject: what did they give me this time? Time: 8:21 pm. Mood: depressed.

when we got to Parker-Hughes, they asked me all these invasive questions again. i asked mom if we could just go home because i didnt want to be there. she just gave me that oh-i-care-but-not-enough-to-do-anything-about-it look. didnt make me feel much better, thats for sure. so they take out the IV thingy. i felt sick to my stomach. im sick of being poked by needles for my own good. they put it in the back of my hand, it hurts more than the other ones did. They give me some sailine ((0.9% sodium chloride)) soultion to keep the vein open and stuff, its pretty cold, like always. i bet its because they refridgerate it. then they starts the *stuff*. but first they hook my up to a monitor that watches my, heart and resperation rate. they tell me if i feel at all short of breath to tell the first nurse i see. comforting. i wasnt hooked up to that whole thing before. I start reading harry potter, every 20 minutes or so the IV thing beeps and they nurse pushes buttons to tell it to keep pumping in meds. she tells me all about her 6 foot son. i was half expecting her to set me up with him. While im getting my *stuff*, this guy comes in for chemo. i dont see his face but he sounds like he's about 45 or so/ they put him in the chair next to me. he tells us that the mayo clinic gave him 6 months to live because he had 2 inoperable tumors. obviously, he didnt like it obviously and switched here. one of his tumors has gone and they other is reduced greatly in size! wow! i get up to use the bathroom, i have to drag the stupid IV with me. i see the guy, he looks aroung 65. its scary how different his voice and self are. in the bathroom, everything is labled "biohazard". this doesnt make me feel very good. mom's doing her computer work, i do a litle of it for a break from harry potter. im reading it for the second time, the first time it took me about 7 hours for 870 pages, its slower than i usually read. when mom's done with her stuff, i start going thru her computer, looking at stuff and making beautiful art with Paint. i also re-do her color scheme, she likes it. around 430, the *stuff* is doneso they run some more sailine while mom picks up new perscriptions for me. i have 23 horse pills to take everyday instead of only 15. they also are making me drink all these protien shakes. we have about 10 lbs of free samples. im guessing ill have to eat them all. on the way home, we stop at the local nutrition center for iron and potassium ((read:: McDonalds for burgers and fries)) i get home, check caller ID, and call kyle, it seems that now weve broken up, he actually DOES call when he says hes gonna... odd isnt it. speaking of which, i found out online that the some of the stuff ive been forced to swallow -since its a steriod-, gives me really bad mood swings and makes me "overly agressive". and 100000 to one, its why i got so pissed off at kyle and wrote that in my blurty. im not even my own person anymore. at least Dr. Whats-Her-Name is starting to take me off of it. ((you gotta do it gradually tho, cause you get withdrawl from long term use of steroids)) Kyle, im jusst hoping that if you read this, you realize that it wasnt me. im sorry. -Amy-

Run Around in Circles

Subject: bah! Time: 3:15 pm. Mood: anxious.

there is much of nothing to do here, there is literally no one to talk to and stuff. i need to talk to *someone* who will remain un-named but probably doesnt need to. but yeah. not much to do. i have tons of nervous energy from sitting around all day. i need ddr or something. but yeah. now, i f i could only find something to do. at five theres this make your own t-shirt teen bond-y thing that moms making me go to. oh joy. i should of pulled a dad and not come. meh. hee hee, im costing my family money :) mom also DID win 27$ on the video poker. i need a hug. i also fee like im going to wake up any moment and be.. like... awake. there were these really sucky vegas-style dancers who kept seaking bad french. it annoying. lol. i think im going to cost my family some more money. i want to be jetted back to minnesota on a private plane full of guys who want to give me hugs. lmao. now lets see... oh i heard people trying to decided if i was a guy or a girl. that wasnt fun. and i have all these funny sunburn spots because i didnt "evenly apply" my sun block... oopsy. "wow, that one looks like a turtle" some random short guy grabbed my side, thats the only interaction ive had with anyone this whole time. i swear... if so-and-so were here id be such-and-suching... lmao ;) and since obviously no one seems to notice what i write in here, i think im going to write something, im just not sure what... now if only i could say that there were some people on the ship that i talked to and stuff, and like 50,000,000,000 guys hit on me. i need sex.. lmao. hmmm.. "hey you.. with the hair" i shoud be going or something so ill be on later.. ttyl -Amy-

4 More Dizzy Losers - Run Around in Circles

Subject: hungover from benadryl Time: 8:29 pm. Mood: blah. Music: Better of Two Evils - Marilyn Manson.

i went and saw a movie with my "friends".of course they didnt tell me that we changed where we were meeting so i sat by myself of course outside of the movie place for an hour. but i guess that they dont care. when they finally came they pretended to care. but i could tell they didnt by the way they didnt even ask where i was last night. ((a bunch of these "friends" had a big end of school sleep over)) i only came so i could see kyle once more before i go on the ship from hell. during the movie i started to feel really shitty and fell asleep on kyle's shoulder. it was nice. like nothing had happened. when i woke up because he was laughing at the movie, i honestly thought that everything was alright again. then the movie ended and so did my happiness. none of my friends could even tell that we broke up. amber was the only one who knew. because she was there... at least i got a hug. god i miss him. kyle and james walked over to kyles grandmas to get a ride home, she wasnt there or something. so i ended up giving him one. but then when he got out of the car i went after him. i dunno. i feel so lost. i keep thinking im gonna wake up and none of this happened. the really sad thing about the cruise is that i have no one to write postcards to. not like anyone would care. heh. i have an idea. i feel... like that icky feeling you get inside when youre not sure whats going on, but youre pretty sure its not good. maybe there'll be some people on the cruise that i can talk to. i doubt it. i dont get along with people ive just met very well... but i do look dead sex-ay in my swinsuit ;) heh. the only entirely good thing that happened today is that dad bought a old keyboard for $10. now i can make happy techno... or whatever i want to make :] ill be back on like... sunday next week. i have to leave at 400AM tomorrow, so this is basically my bye-bye thingy. if anyone wants to email me, i might be able to check my email some time thru the trip... firefly3456@cs.com bye-sie bye-sie -Amy- Stuff for kyle: *when can i fall asleep on you again? :) *email me yur new name thingy *i still need a decent hug *even if you dont miss me, im gonna miss you *and as of tonight, i am offically late

Run Around in Circles

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