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Blurty for Aldallia.
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| Monday, May 30th, 2005 |
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Yesterday's: A very exotic, very sensual new friend has just entered your world, and you're loving every minute of your time together. They may end up being more interested in you than a friend really ought to be, however, so if you're not thinking along those same lines, better mention that early on. Otherwise, you could end up having to come up with some explanations -- to yourself in the mirror, that is -- at a later date. Romance You've got a vision, and you've got a partner. Does your partner get your vision? Does your vision include your partner? These are important questions! Technical You'll feel like taking action, but step back and take time to plan out your next few moves. You can see the near future more clearly than usual. Today's: You've been bitten by the charity bug, and if you follow through on this urge the way you've followed through in the past, you may need someone who cares about you to physically restrain you, or at least grab your wrist before you toss the deed to your home in the collection basket. If you're in the black and you can afford all this giving, good for you. Just don't give more than you comfortably can, or you'll be looking for a handout yourself. Romance If you two encounter a snafu today, you ought to do these two things at the same time: 1) Don't take it too seriously, and 2) Take it just seriously enough. Technical You've got every reason to be frustrated, but be careful where you direct those jabs. Your energies will serve you better focused toward coaching others rather than treating them like your opponent. |
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| Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 |
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Found out Hugh wasn't made at me after all and that I was blowing the whole situation larger than it should have been. Then throughout 2nd per. did nothing, chatted with Allison, Hugh, good stuff. Showcase was alright, listened to music and reading my book, sat in front of Nata, in one of the breaks we get up and run to the bathroom to pee, had to run to the other one because it was full and came back to see that we missed the Indian dance made by Sandhya. Oh well, was listening to NIN-hot god anyways :) Then umm....well.....3rd--nothing, 4th--took quiz, got a C, fuck 4 question quizzes, 5th--listen to lecture--fuck I have my final tomorrow--shit. 6th--watched a movie about windsurfing, the guy made it look so easy!!! 7th--worked on physics project, made the car run but the switch disobeys the laws of physics--kinda ironic that it was made right after the chapter on closed v. open circuits, (its opposite its function) END 5:56pm |
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| Saturday, April 23rd, 2005 |
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 You are a maniac What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures] brought to you by Quizilla and since I was inbetween two or three questions the other one:  You kill for What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures] brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Sunday, April 17th, 2005 |
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HOLY CRAP!!! THATS WHAT I ACTUALLY SAY TO PEOPLE WHEN I DO SI!!!! (laughs) is amused :)
This really uneases me.  Gray: You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to follow you everywhere. The worst has always got to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable. What color do you see the world in? brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Thursday, April 14th, 2005 |
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Be extra careful not to let yourself become tired or run down. You'll need all the physical and emotional strength and stick-to-itiveness you can muster to get through today -- and, more importantly, tonight. Of course, if anyone has mastered the concept of the twenty-minute power nap, followed by a cool shower and a strong cappuccino, it's you. Go ahead. Show us how it's done and make this day work for you. Romance You'll be looking for an emotional outlet now, so find one. Exercise. Lose yourself in your work. Just make sure you don't take anything out on your partner. They'll support you if you just give them a chance. Technical Your boss or primary client might be a handful. Everyone will see their needs as much more intense than they really are, and you'll have to massage their egos just a bit. |
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| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005 |
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Got sick days? Well, you might want to think about cashing one in, because anything that even remotely resembles work will be quite the challenge today. Daydreaming, sighing and reminiscing about the past, however, will suit you just fine. If you do have to put in your time, be sure you're doing something you can perform on autopilot -- because concentrating will certainly be a tall order. Romance Slow down! Your partner may be as dedicated as they come, but even they can't read your mind. Explain things thoroughly -- then explain them again, just in case. Your honey will be grateful. Technical You've got a lot to say, but now is just not the time to say it -- especially if it's critical or outside the box. Think things through carefully before making any comment. |
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| Saturday, April 9th, 2005 |
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| Am so cold... | ||
| Devil's Insane? | ||
| Sunday, April 3rd, 2005 |
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Take the Dating Profile Quiz - Relationship Jokes - Relationship Advice |
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Take the Dating Profile Quiz - Relationship Jokes - Relationship Advice
Take the quiz at the Dating Diversions Site - Dating Jokes - Dating Advice |
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So umm, the last day I updated on was Friday I think...just about, it was the week's review. Saturday was pretty good, woke up around 8:30amish, and dressed and went with Father to PETCO to get my new tank exchanged because it had that crack in the side. They exchanged it and we also bought some new chemicals for the pH and stuff. Setup of the new tank in my room, the only problem we had with it was--I have very few outlets available in my room...actually none. We had to rework the cables and what goes where, and there's one outlet controlled by the switch and we don't want the fish attached to that one because they'll suffocate without the bubbles or filter running. But yea, Mother got it working again while I went with Tweetie to Sunset. At Sunset, went around 4pm but I got there 10 minutes early so I wandered around looking at books in the BN Cafe. I had brought a box of Alfahores (sp?) that Jaime brought us from Peru and gave them to Tweetie. We bought cookies from the cafe and went to get our tickets for Downfall: H. It was really good, I liked the movie, even though it was about Hitler's last hours, because it was from the German's point of view, the entire movie was in German with subtitles. I liked it, it made you sympathize with the way the Nazis went down, all the suicides at the end--really makes you want to puke, they showed the brains blasted out, and anyone would do it. Mass suicides, it was gross but the movie was excellent. And while it did make you sympathize for the German people who suffered the most during the bombing raids and the march of the Russians, and also for the Nazis....you remember that they are Nazis and that...they did so many horrible things that you can't afford to feel sympathy for them for their political views but as human beings, they didn't have to take their lives like that. But what can you do? Its in the past. The effects of that movie took a while to shake off, heheh right after it ends Tweetie and I are standing by the water fountains and she says "Ok, let's go shopping!" In the most airheaded voice she could manage, we laughed a bit then went to pee. Tweetie and I noticed that we were probably the only two people there under the age of 50, then I said maybe even 40, but now that I think about it, maybe even under 20! I saw a couple there that could have been about 25. We went to Hot Topic, I browsed but there wasn't anything I was willing to buy, maybe a shirt or two but nothing really. Everything was $20+ so ehh. Then we went into Urban Outfitters and browsed, I got a pair of pants and a shirt. I tried on this cool red skirt and I might have even bought it had I not looked at my scarred legs and realized I'd never be able to wear it without stockings of some color. That and it made my legs look chubby, even though I know mine are muscular from fencing...they just looked amorphous. Heheh, Tweetie and I bought the same pair of pants, different sizes but the same style, hehe it was great, I also got this cool green shirt, I wanted to get the other of the different color but it was $16 for one and the pants were $20 and it was already $38.50, so yea, maybe I can get Mother to come back with me and buy me some other stuff. Damnit I wish the scars on my legs would get lighter sooner. They're already alot lighter than before but I want them to vanish. I think I need to get more sun on them and then the skin tone will start to match up on them.--I hope so very much. Went to Virgin and found Tony, he smelled like cigarettes (sp), but he's cool, we talked a bit then went off, Tweetie and I went upstairs to look at the comics, I found this book on the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show and started skimming through. Then we went to get something to eat at Wendy's--shared a medium fries, she got a coke--diet. Unfortunately as we were getting up from sitting outside in the parking lot I spilled some that were near the edge, by then we'd eaten most of our fill so it wasn't that bad. We walked over to the drop-off/pickup area where Father was supposed to get us and drive Tweetie home. Tweetie doesn't want to drive because walking seems to be keeping her fit, so I teased her with "Oh so if you DO get a car you'll balloon out sideways". Lol, fun stuff, I don't have a car either, and Mother and Father don't let me use mass transit because they're fucking scared. Like I can't protect myself, ok, let me take some form of martial arts, that way I can defend myself extremely well and you don't have to worry about me getting kidnapped and raped. Besides, I'm far too ugly for anyone to want me--on the streets. But yea, maybe if I walked as much as Tweetie does I'd be thinner than I am now. Couldn't hurt, I like walking with her too. So yea that's my weekend, need to finish an essay for APUSH due tomorrow and Mother and Jaime want to go to christian rituals today at 5:30pm...fuucckkk. So yea, I've got some work to do before then. Its going to be about 10am when I eat breakfast so that means I have.....about 7 hours to write it, the length of a school day. Alright, must get to work. END 9:53am |
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| Sunday, March 27th, 2005 |
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| Saturday, March 26th, 2005 |
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Wow....ironic that I have no one now and am thinking of a certain ex.... |
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| Monday, March 21st, 2005 |
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So umm, lets see from last update I don't remember so lets go from Sunday, was Palm Sunday was forced to go to christian rituals got reprimanded for not wanting to take the fucking palm. Lol, I just knew Mother thought it would burn me if I didn't take it right then and there after the holy water had been sprayed on it. Heh, went to Brett's afterwards to see a movie with Tweetie and Ariel, Tampopo. I liked it, although I am still craving for a real Japanese Noodle Soup. The food sex in that one scene was crazy and surprised us when it came out. Wow...shrimp in a upturned bowl of soy sauce on the belly....crazy fun ;) Walked Tweetie home, went to her computer and she showed me the personal ad that one of her teachers had there, Mr. Bloomfield, was it? Dunno. Then came home and watched Adult Swim....so fun, I like the Chicken show that came on after Family Guy...I can't remember the name, damnit it was hilarious. Today I did nothing but was out my fish tank for the turtle to live in. The water was smelly and disgusting and ugg a real job to clean. I was wearing jeans and my black tank under my sweatshirt, and I just felt like I was cleaning a boat or something, really grungy type feeling, because I wasn't wearing much makeup, just concealor, tied up hair in messy bun, curly too didnt bother to straighten it and the fact that its muggy and humid now (spring) and I was taking a hose to cleaning the gravel in the bucket, the tank, etc. I just felt good about it, made me wonder if maybe I could just get some few degrees, but I don't want a desk job type of thing where I'd have to work in a lab all day, I want to own my own shop, or business of aquaria raising, salt and fresh. Just get paid to set up tanks and maintain them, have my own shop to sell my tank displays etc. I really enjoy that thought, and I could get a boat...nah scratch that...or maybe, that be nice, go live anywhere I want, fence part time, well not part time but you get it. I can do fencing for just whatever and whenever I want, to practice. That be a great life, it would be nice, I love raising fish, turtles, and I wouldn't mind giving a shot at raising saltwater creatures, I love bio, I know alot about marine bio, and just yea, that be really cool. I could minor in some genetics, maybe I could just get my biomed degree, get a major in genetics, minor in bio, could work. Do I really want to get a PhD? I guess I do but I don't like that there's so much work involved, but I'll do it if I have to, and I mean, if I get a PhD then I could do whatever I want and I'd be able to get a job teaching at University level, or even college. Yea That could work out well too. I've got what I want to do for my life down, I guess...and I could go travelling when I wanted, since I have my boat I'd be able to go cruising, or I could store it somewhere and take a plane and go elsewhere. Wow...this is starting to sound really nice. And I wouldn't have to worry about anything, at least not like now. I feel....good....real..good..I think I could actually do this for life. I could fence for fun, go to some competitions, going to the Olympics would be cool but not a necessity. This is a good plan. END 6:39pm |
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| Friday, March 18th, 2005 |
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Ok, so MAST Blast started out as a normal Early Release Thursday, meaning I had Enviro, where we just sat there, didn't have the laptops so I couldn't update on anything, and then went around to homeroom and reviewed for Ruppel's quiz on The Ambassadors. I think I got an A on it, I got an A on the makeup I took on Wednesday. AH! I must do Wednesday also, but Thursday first. Umm, well we started to talk about the quiz and then we went on to the cards that he had graded, I got an A miraculously, YAY!! I was literally holding my breath along with everyone else in the room, I still have to make up a new prospectus PSOI question, etc. Bell rang and off to 5th where I ran off to make up my Math quiz which I so totally bombed. Oh yea in the morning when I got to the school, I remember doing something...oh yea dropped off stuff in class, spoke to Sam about the Enviro project, walked around, went into the Library...yea something like that. OH! Jamey showed me her red sunglasses, so hot...I asked her to get me ones in blue if she ever found some, I'd pay her for them later. But yea, good stuff. While I was making up the quiz during 5th, it was in the class there with Chris SM, lol people were coming over and trying to give me help when the teacher wasn't looking, but it didn't help much because I forgot how to change the equation into fucking standard form...fuck. I ran out of the class before she had time to grade it. Lol Chris switched my calculator with his but still that didn't help me. Then I showed Oche the pics I had on my jumpdrive then Mrs. Reb came over and I showed her my favorites of Dulcie and she really liked them, asked if they were for a photography class and I said no for my own fun, she said they were great beautiful pictures ^_^ In 7th Oche and I went to Banazak's office with Annie to ask about summer courses at MDC, Internship, and jobs. As it turns out we came too late for that job at Miami Seaquarium this Easter weekend....$40 a day, two days...that was fucking easy money down the toilet because we were a 'week too late' according to that job specialist lady. FUCK! Angel was there to see Posse and we asked him about the job lady too, etc. Then we just went back and it was near time for the bell to ring for lunch, the one massive lunch were no one gets to eat anything if they want to buy from the line. I went upstairs with Jessica to that loft like place, and it would have been fine had no one seen us but Chris did, so he came up, and then he called over Dannia and as a group they come. Jessica and I were talking about how I could get away with the summer courses while taking my internship at the same time. At first Jessica and I walked around the school then we went into Reb's class where they were showing I Heart Huckabees, we stayed to watch a bit then we went back for our bags, I hope Jenny and Jessica Barreto got their bags alright, most likely as I told Chris and the others to watch him. We gave the other people the slip when we left, that was so cool. Then on the Metro Jessica and I rode together on the bus and went to the other end of the platform, right when we got off the bus we saw them get off the bus in front of us so we stayed back a bit, just long enough for them to get through and turn to the right while we sneaked over to the left. I read my book while waiting and on the train, nice cool AC, next to no one on the train, perfect. I got home and ate then went on the computer, then took a nap at 3:30pm and woke up at 6pm, it was refreshing and the rain was heavenly, thunder/lightning but then it was a Thursday! Fencing! I did not go because I was so dazed when I awoke, I had amnesia...temporarily. And really thirsty. Wednesday: Went to the Solar Forum Field Trip and it was pretty good, the only person I knew there that I really hung out with was Dannia *grunt* we found some neat things on one of the places where they hang flyers, I felt like I was showing her too much of what I would normally do with Tweetie. She was foreign and really didn't say much, just smiled and nodded...like some sort of deaf and dumb 'tard. Went into the Library upstairs which was neat, I couldn't really search it like I wanted to because we had to leave, I shouldn't have worn a jacket as we were outside and it was hot, but it was alright. Some crazy old man sat with us during lunch and began to ask what we wanted to do when we grew up. And then well on the ride there and back I was listening to my MP3 player, and Rosa and I were reviewing for the Ruppel essay make up quiz we feared on our return while we were waiting for the bus to come. When we came back Rosa and I went into Ruppel's 7th and asked if we could take it now seeing as how we came back just now. He said yes and gave us the 4 question quiz instead! Because we wouldn't have had time to see anyone to ask about the questions. I got an A, but one question was a place in an object quote and it was 'Paris' but I put 'Luxembourg Gardens' which was in Paris but yea, but he gave it to me anyways! Then went home, I saw the same thing 5 times, the bridge...the bay...US1. Yea so needless to say I had a headache and didn't go with the others like I normally did. I just went home and didn't go to the thingy at Swensons. END 11:30pm |
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| Thursday, March 17th, 2005 |
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| Tuesday, March 15th, 2005 |
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Hah, so I'm 100% Communist AND Democrat |
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| Monday, March 14th, 2005 |
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On Saturday, such a beautiful day, the very act of thinking and typing it now brings me a sharp jolt of pain coursing through my thumb as I hit the space bar (right hand) but I cannot think of that now, it is minimal. It was such a wonderful day, but as is always the result of such events of well-being, the very next moments are pure waste of such goodness. Later in the evening I was calmly doing the exact same actions as I have always done: Mother always forces upon my plate a piece of meat, claiming, in an ignorant fashion that I must eat meat to be healthy, that I cannot live solely off vegetables as an alternative....to this I tell her is wrong because there are now methods through which I can live without having to eat a single piece of meat. I can be a vegetarian and be healthy. She, for a few years now has toted the very same notion that being a vegetarian is healthier (although she is nothing more than a hypocrite because she stills eats fish and chicken). And I tell her that I don't need to eat meat, and its not even that that started the entire argument, it was the fact that I had left half of the portion of meat she always gives me. I always get the smaller of all the pieces and even then I never leave any more than half of that. Sometimes I would 'eat' the half, secretely giving my cats under the table the cut up pieces. And on occasion I did swallow a few pieces in front of her, and NOT throw them back up in the toilet a few minutes later. But its just today that she decided to break down on me and shout for all the world to hear that I am a stupid, insolent brat who thinks she knows everything in the world. I do not claim to know everything, I am FAR from knowing everything and yet she twists my words to sound in her favor. Father is no different and he irks me the most with that silly pouting look he gets when trying to be 'the father' figure. Well he starts in a very gruff voice "All that you're saying is bullshit, you know nothing." And then Older Sibling chimes in as usual with a yes-man opinion "Yea, you know nothing! You're stupid!" adding, as usual the claim that since he has a highschool degree he is smarter than me. Yea, sure you are, any doorknob can get a highschool degree if they persist at it long enough! I searched on the internet for a reputable source, and I found several nutritional value sites where it is possible to live without meat, and that I can do it if I work at it and plan out my meals carefully, it is more difficult but I can do it. Mother reads in the text 'young adults' and immediately jumps on it and says it does not apply to me because I am not an adult. I tell her that the definition of 'young adult' would be people in a certain age group, I went on to estimate that it was 16/17 to about 20, and when I searched for this I found it to be even from 15 to 20! I told her that the term 'young adult' is used nowadays to mean that age group and it is pretty much a widely accepted definition and many people use it for that. But nooo, Mother and Father have old notions stuck in their heads and cannot get it in their thick skulls to see past their old ways of thinking to how things are now. I am somewhat proud of myself for having debated with them thus far and not succumbed to crying with rage and letting my voice shake. But that did not last for long, something broke within me and I just started shaking all over, when Old Sibling went back to his machine I walked through the kitchen with clenched fists and paused ther a moment, waiting, thinking, blood pumping in my ears, I felt it, but I turned around and got a cup down to fill with water and walked away. Images were running through my head of me with my own fists beating his face in, somehow an object appears and I am stabbing. No one comes, I finish the deed and walk away clenched fists bloodied with the deed's own, but I am wild eyed and happy. They come back to speak to me and I just get up and walked away, after telling them I would not stay to listen to their babble. I went into my room and closed the door, sat on my bed picked up the blanket and let myself shake into it. The bubbling rage at that moment subsided when I did that but still it was no better. Then Mother starts to knock on the door and demands that I come in, she goes away to get something to unlock the simple closed mechanism that isn't even a real lock. I lean against the door and hold it back, I could have gotten the chair and blocked the door like last time but I didn't and just stood there letting my mind wander. When she began to speak I just went with the flow and turned on the radio raising the volume. Mother went ballistic and forced the door open, I wasn't even trying to hold it back, just was listening to the music and grew calmer still. But Mother entered and that calm dissipated, I sat on my bed, Mother began to prattle on about my 'apparent problem' and how it all has to do with a 'boy at school'. Father again is pouting and trying to be all authoritative, I chuckle and laugh, telling them through sarcasm that they are free to their opinion and can talk all they want, assume all they want and I will just go through with it. Even if it contradicts I don't care. Mother starts to take my cds away then Father goes and takes my radio away so Mother left the CDs, although I still have my other clock radio that has a CD player in it. But I doubt that it will be there when I get back to the house today after school. Although I need an alarm to wake up in the morning, so it might still be there. I get up and go about my business all the while they are hovering nearby and are prattling on still, I had started to rip off some posters that Mother had put on my wall and threw away the framed picture that was behind the curtain of that silly white dress for chruch Mother was so worried about getting right. She starts to cry and saying "I see what the problem is, I've treated you like my little girl for too long--" I walk away and go to the computer and start searching the internet aimlessly, Chris SM started IMing me when I had on my away message in the largest font and bright red 'Fuck Off' asking what was wrong, I told him as much as I could before Mother came and demanded to know what that said. I have to go now as class is over and I need to return the laptop. END 9:00am |
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| Saturday, March 12th, 2005 |
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[Note of Sarcasm] For the Title and possibly for the rest of this piece. So yea, I leave and say nothing on the other locale where people I know are most likely to read it and no one reads, no one even comments on the fact that I am missing and have not updated in the longest time. Only when I at last update and say that I have been 'neglectful' does someone respond. So yes, I am a bit flustered at the fact I am ignored, but that is what most living things crave, non? Some sort of attention, even the smallest amount works wonders! But no... I just want to sum up my events that have been memorable and be done with this. Yesterday, Friday, I went to the movies with Angel and Dannia and we watched The Jacket, Adrian Brody is hot and I'm in love with his thinness. He's so adorable I want to hug him and never let go. Well we were there after school, unfortunately for me it was a swim day and Moreland had us swimming in freezing water, and enjoying the fact that she doesn't have to go in with us. She told us this too. We did Dolphin kick, scissor kick feet first diving, etc. Allison and I jumped out of the water when we finished to warm ourselves on the pool deck. I got a tan, yay! I have to do 4 more embellished pieces for Creative Writing, then two artworks, and then I have APUSH notes to take on two chapters, then AP English L&C research paper to do, Enviro project now that I don't have a partner for so I'm screwed if I don't do it all myself now. Shit. Umm, turned in a field trip form for Wednesday for the Solar Forum with Khalil, I have to make up the Ruppel quiz on The Ambassadors before leaving. Shit. And then took various quizzes and tests this past week, so far am doing well on the Ruppel readings. Hmm, Math I am slipping in, must do the work and pay attention more, but just a little more. I already did this stuff in middle school, pfft, screw them for not taking my French credits. And well let's see after I turned in my stuff for Ruppel on the 9th my days went downhill in work loads from there, but still they are starting to mount again so I must work to keep them down. On Thursday Reb was not here so I went skipping (literally and the other meaning as well) through the halls and asked Angel for a review on the movie we are watching because his 3rd period already did it and just turned it in, and I didn't feel like watching it, Swing Kids. Then umm, well physics we learned a new chapter and as always Khalil favors me because I actually know the stuff that she teaches, I understand better and faster than the rest. Today I was outside for about 4 hours taking pictures of whatever took my fancy with the digicam and at the same time, sunbathing and letting my pretty kitty Dulcie run around in the grass since she's an indoor cat. Brothers came home and got me a Slurpee which was nice, I really need to get a tan on my belly, its so freaking white its blinding. And I feel that I wouldn't look too bad in a bikini, I'm not that fat, I mean, I work out, I do DO fencing adn all...lift weights, and now that we are swimming again in class (we finished CPR during the winter) I should be getting stronger too. Oh well I'm done for the day. I think I will use this one more often again. Let the others worry and ponder. And also raise my comments received number, yay! I will post some pictures later when I upload them onto photobucket or something like that, yahoo maybe. END 6:14pm |
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| Friday, February 25th, 2005 |
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Field trip to FIU's Engineering GALA at the Engineering Campus, it was pretty interesting but I knew none on the bus that I felt comfortable walking around with so my day was only half alright. Andrew sat on the seat next to me, he's alright but I am an odd person and as such I like to be alone when feeling odd so as not to bother anyone. Went around the building, saw different areas in engineering, still am interested in biomed, but materials and mechanical aren't that bad either... This strangeness occurred throughout the day and by the end I had a massive headache that would not go away, I figured it was from all fumes but then again there were none. Then it was from dehydration, but even after I drank water when I got back I still felt like crap. I ate a protein bar and that seemed to help for a while, but then I took sudafed which was better, clearer head when I went outside to walk Dulcie (my cat) in the backyard. While I was out there things seemed...calmer. The gray clouds against the more sky-turning-blue-setting-sun-gray sky color, I remember the reason why I used to, as a child go outside in the backyare more often than now. It was quieter outside, the scenery was constant, the water in the canal held things, new things to acquaint my fancy with. It was easier being on the swings, slowly moving forward and back surrounded by my cat(s), ducks, what have you. As I sat there up on top of the monkey bars watching Dulcie prowl around in the grass I realized this. When I lay in the grass things seem better, I can deal with things better, but not quite as much. It just clears things but not completely, its more guiding than anything. And its just, things, not all things, but things at the moment in time become nicer. I stared up at the sky and felt more at ease, I saw spiraling waay up high vultures and vaguely wondered whether they were there for me. It was passing, not even considered, I only mention it now because that image came to mind of the circling birds so far above that it took me time to realize their presence. I did not want to go back in, I wanted to stay out in the dwindling light and spend eternity in that inbetween state, thinking... but I had a responsibility to perform and that was keeping Dulcie from wandering too far and escaping into the neighbor's yard. I could have gone back outside but then Mother would have become suspicious and start asking me questions, which I would prefer not to answer. She always does. And then that would start unnecessary commentary, leading into more hidden suspicion. The field trip was alright, made acquaintance with Jung, who reminds me of Kevin Tan the way he stares at you without any kind of facial expression making one uneasy in his presence--till you become accustomed to it. And he started smiling near the end so it was all good. I still have this odd feeling, I am sick as well, and freezing, sneezing,etc. Online chat room people wanted to talk to me but I would not speak much. I do not want to speak. On the metro I moved away because my headache was that great, and I really didn't feel like talking to anyone anyways. Carrice came over when the Northbound train came and I told her I wasn't feeling well, so she said her goodbyes and left. Soon after the Southbound came and I got on, unfortunately the car was short so I was still in the one of the others so at the next stop I jumped cars but that one was filled with all the other people I've stopped talking to, or do not like at all. Even though this day may not appear like a good day to others, in fact I much prefer these sort of times. I enjoy the feeling of melancholy, because, I am a being of melancholy. Happiness can only go so far for me, whereas sadness tends to overrule and underlie everything. walk in the rain sit on high promontories ...and watch the clouds roll by the chirping of birds at night delightful the sound of slow flowing water deep and down into the cool fragrance to the brillant light shining below... END 11:18:30pm |
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| Devil's Insane? | ||||||||
| Monday, January 31st, 2005 |
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Yes I am updating though no one reads this I do not care. This will be my mental note area and LJ my 'I want to hear opinions or just IM random people through comments' a bit like shaking a hornet's nest to see what happens. Last night I started to write up--well it was Saturday Night but it was technically Sunday morning as it was 12:30am. Well I wrote up a sort of beginning for a story but was cut short thanks in part to dear Mother who comes barging in demanding that I sleep on a weekend....I can sleep when I want on these days, not like I have anything better to do. So my idea was cut off but I think I can get it back again because it was only the beginning that I thought of and not really the rest of the story. So far it is more like a sequence of events from this person's eyes but not quite, it is broken up between events during the day, daydreams etc all while listening to music so the lyrics of the songs play at that particular moment get embedded into the text in a comprehensive way. So they make up the story--parts at least-- all in all I think this is a very interesting project, never mind the fact that it means more things for me to do and more importantly I now must carry the binder I wrote it in with me everywhere (it is my story binder) as well as my AP stuff. Great. And now I have to do this damned Research Paper and I have yet to think of a good topic, something that I can analyze...I was going to go through the whole veganism thing and animal rights but am not sure if I can maintain that required analysis through to the 8 page minimum. Oh well, hopefully it is double spaced but then, he wants us to write down to the end of the last page (pg8) and then have pg 9 the Works Cited page. But for safety he said to just write it over on a page 9 and have the WC on pg 10. Damnit, so he wants a ful 8 pages no way you can get out of it. Shit. I must find some research on my topic for now and then bring in 5 sources. The Resident Evil soundtrack I got from Natasha is wonderful, I love it ^_^. Especially Nymphetamine and Escape from Hellville...and pretty much the whole damn CD but those come to mind right now. I knew I shouldn't have told Angel about those songs. I get overly irritated at the fact that someone else downloads the same songs I like. Don't know why I just do. I suppose I am just easily jealous, I was thinking about this before I went to 'sleep' last night (meaning just drifted off daydreaming I don't really sleep anymore) and am meaning to become less so and just let him borrow the CD. But still it just bothers me so much.... Hmm, my day was alright, am looking for someone, I know they are someplace somewhere, I just need to find them somehow....someday.... I was doing that outside during lunch and asked Timmy to help me. Saw Calvin watching out of the corner of my eye and made contact only as I slipped through the door into the cafeteria. Jaime and the rest of Carrice's friends are cool, on the metro I was talking with Dannia and Raul about Family Guy we said our favorite episodes and lines....yeaa t'was amusing indeed :) END 5:06pm |
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| Devil's Insane? | ||||||
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Blurty for Aldallia.
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horny.
recumbent.
thirsty.
blank.