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Thursday, May 15th, 2003
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8:17a - morning glory
well, tis yet ANOTHER day in this tireing,boring and gay school. 2 day WILL be good thou, i no i said that last time (like yesturday) ! but sam should be in school 2day and i really cant w8 2 c him, i havent seen him since last thursday when he was a compleate cock and i was gutted! but nevermind, we were txin last nite and although he duznt text anything like what he used 2, and i no it'l take him a while to remember how gr8 i am, but ill be reeeeally nice 2day an c wat happens! i just got a tx frm brownie, HOW GR8 IS HE?! hes well fit but in my mind he's 2 good 4 me, but ive fancied him 4 aaages.Like, i met him and i sed "oh my god. . . how fit IS that guy?" then i met sam an didnt see brownie 4 TIME and then just recently ive bin seeing a little more of him, and hes GR8! wat a beautiful morning eh? im sat at my "claimed" computer and i just opened the blind so i cud see the sun an feel it 2. Its propa hot and it was fucking thunder stroms yesturday! but who cares?! its beautiful 2day, and thats all that matters! ooh! the first bells just rang! just then i went and marveled at one ov my m8's (jamie)'s tape that hes made!,trust,yeh, hes guna b fucking famous! how ANYONE can play the guitar and sing like he duz is propa beyond me! how talented is he?! propa jelous now! I really made an effort 2 look nice 2day, but 4 sm reason i feel slightly raucous! TWATTY! anywayz, im guna go, but i'll update a bit later on an tell u how things went wen i saw sam! loadsa love and kissies! LIBMISTER! YeAh! Oh mY GoD I ThInK Im gOiNg dErAnGeD! . . . . gOiNg? I HeAr u cRy! X X X X
current mood:  cheerful
current music: OASIS-DEFINATELY MAYBE (comment on this)
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12:54p - media is where im at
so, im in media with brad and ad and sam. . . sam. . . bein fuckin well fuckin strange mann. I saw him at brake and i nodded so he nodded back and i felt like a bit ov a fanny 4 sm reason but wen he was chattin 2 our friends he seemed like he was acting,u no, i no him well enuf 2 no wen hes not bein himself and he was seeminly being really arsy! so i just left it at that. went up 2 media, and i knew hed be here so i was a little nervous. . eeek! and he was like. . . well, vacant-he gave me my tie that id left at his house and i was like "oh thanx! i 4got bout that, yeah.cool" and he didnt say anythin but he gave me this half smile thing as he was lookin in his bag as if 2 say "yeah this is silly and im finding it awkward 2!" and i just tried not 2 giggle. so i sat at a computer . . .and thats where i am now. No more corsework left 2 do, i got 23/24 4 both pieces , so thats an A for both yey! hes sat behind me facin the opposite direction at his computer and im scared hes guna glance at my screen an c his name. . . . so . . . im guna go! wish me luck wit this situation, how am i guna get out ov this one and get back 2 normal?! i dunno how 2 talk 2 him anymore! i dunno how 2 start convo. . . sSOOOOOOO unusual 4 me! i can talk 2 a stick if i no its not goin anywhere! omg, im babbling, see! ok, im going now!..................................................ok..................................yeah, i am guna go....................................................................................................................................................................................rite, imready ..................i tink.............................OH MY GOD JUST STOP TYPING AND GET OFF THE PISSING COMPUTER!
current mood:  indescribable (comment on this)
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1:03p - MUSIC!
same as-
current mood:  anxious
current music: oasis-def maybe (comment on this)
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1:45p - :( oh god!
well, things didnt go well with sam. After i got off the computer, i asked him if he wanted to go 4 a smoke an he was like "oh, so u gonna talk 2 me then?" an i sed "well, i didnt think...u WANTED 2 talk" he didnt say nethin, he just shook his head an got his fags out,brad came 2 an i wished he hadnt coz then i would have been able 2 talk 2 sam about, u no, stuff. So we were walkin and they were doin most of the talkin and i took it that sam was in one of his thoughtful, reclusive moods so u no, he didnt really wanna talk. We got to the smokin spot and sally,gemma and gayface were there, and he was bein well nice to them so i was a bit gutted then really! We didnt talk sept 4 me sayin "u alrite?!" an he nodded. Propa fanny makin me feel this shit! then i.um.yeah, so we went back up 2 media an that was it. I went 2 lunch and saw his sister waiting where we all meet up 4 lunch and ive never REALLY spoken 2 her so i thought id, u no, get 2 know her. We spent all of lunch 2getha and shes a preety heavy girl mann, well safe! we were just chattin general shit bout her bloke, sam, the bloke on saturday and u no all that shit. All we got was propa evils and sam just kept giving us propa STARES. But i wasnt guna stop talkin 2 her just coz HE didnt want us 2, so we had the rest ov lunch havin a wicked convo' coz u no, i felt wicked coz wen i was tellin her bout how we both treated each other she knew EXACTLY wat i was on about, u no, the whole time it was nice 2 have sm one to tell me it was guna b ok, and it means something coming from her because she KNOWS him, u no, not in the same way i do but u no wat i mean, she knows his moods and the way he is with people. So i dunno wat im going to do. Im guna not try anymore, i think thats the best bet. As we were sat there he looked at us both, and we both smiled-not in a nasty"oh lets rub ur face in it" way it was just-u no- a smile! and he goes "haha,well funny" in a really sarcy nasty way so at that point i just thought "well fuck u then!" and it helps 2 write it down coz i havent told anyone the story ov my day yet coz all my m8s r in an art exam except 4 a few ov them but i cant be arsed 2 say it-find it easier 2 write it. Coz i WELL still wanna b m8s, if we cant be best m8s like we were ( which i tink is out ov the picture) then i still wanna b m8s at LEAST! I LOVE THE FUCKER! despite all the hurt and confusion hes caused me-i still love him and i ....god, i just do. And i hate arguing with him./ Usually i provoke arguments with people i dont like coz then i can blow them out and laf at them but with my friends it compleately different. This chair is hurting my arm, each time i type on the right hand side of the keyboard, my arm mooves back and scccccrrrrrrapes the side ov the chair! oww! changing chairs, hang on!
nice one! inabit, prob write sum more in bout,like, 2mins
current mood:  discontent (1 comment |comment on this)
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