libby's Journal
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Thursday, May 22, 2003
2:07PM - Whoa! WAT A WEEK!
WELL, I NO I HAVENT WRITTEN IN A WHILE, SO HERE GOES! SAM AND I ARE BACK 2 THE WAY WE WERE,After like propa missions on my part! as 4 brownie, hes gr8 but i feel gay. Afta all the missions of gettin back on track wid sam, i got caught up in it, as sams PROPA MISSIONS 2 resolve problems with! I really like him, and 2day we were suppodsed 2 go out an do stuff but i was really busy.I had 2 help sam get his coursework in or he was guna not get a grade and that was very taxing as wen brownie came i had 2 mission it ov on a rampage 2 do shit and left him waiting in media. As he duznt have a phone i cudnt ring him and i now feel savage 4 leaving him waiting 4 me coz thats just cod.Now i dont know wat to do! I cant go back up 2 media as. . .well heres the story!
i was just guna go back up 2 media wen sam and i decided 2 go 4 a fag. We went and sat on the wall of a guys house, who propa pulls egg everytime we stand anywhere near his house and have a smoke. BUT, his car wasnt there so, we sat on the wall. Just as we were leaving he came back so i told sam and we got up 2 go. I had unfortunately left my can of coke on the wall under a tree branch and he started walking up behind us saying, @oi, u, is that your tin on my wall? and sam was like, "naah, mate, we3 dunno wat ur talkin about," he goes " rite, well how many times have u bin told not 2 sit on my wall?!" AND WE JUST CARRIED ON WALKING, "OI, DONT U WALK AWAY FROM ME SUNSHINE!" we just carried on walkin and he was already well pissed by this time, "come 2 reception with me?!" and we were like, "nah, got lessons" and he was like "i dont give a shit whether u got lessons" and sam said, "i dont give a shit about wat ur saying so...." and he was like "u think ur REEEALLY clever dont you?!" sam sed, "nah, not really!" and so he kept buggin us as we were walkin, ov corse i didnt have a lesson but i didnt want to get rowed and taken 2 reception! So he follewed sam in 2 his classroom, and i just shouted, "sam,yeh, i'll c ya 2moro, give u a ring l8a yeh?" and he was like "yeah, safe!" and so now here i am in the library on a gay computer for blind people coz the screen is like MASSIVE and i can see al;l the little dots ov colour that make up the screen!propa gay ass mann, and so . . .cant go 2 media. . . . cant see sam . . .cant do nowt but sit here till the end ov school, when i'll get the bus home an mission it off 2 work! but hey! at least ive HAD MY ENGLISH EXAM! yeah! propa heavy! im well chuffed, coz even though i reckon imguna fail it, im just glad i wont have 2 do english EVER AGAIN! ive got my media exam 2 do, that should be ok but i need 2 get the shit 2 do it, like the tapes ov programs and stuff. Shud b ok though. If i settle down 4 a day im sure i cud do it then! 2moro im goin 2 sams and hopefully, ill just b able 2 sleep. which shud be good. Oh and im guna make him watch harry potter, chamber of secrets coz dats a heavy film and i aint seen it all yet! I wanna go c the matrix 2 soon, shud b gud 2. Well, im guna go search 4 pictures ov alicia keys. SHIT, LEFT MY STONE ROSES CD IN MEDIA, RINGING ADE NOW! SHIT!
Current mood: 
amused
Friday, May 16, 2003
8:28AM - learns his lesson
2nite im goin 2 a gig! yey! im goin 2 stratford on a bus with gresh,cassie and ME and we r gunna have another busnik! A BUSNIK! we invented them last time we went to stratford on a bus! and i LOVE gresh, hes gr8! Brownies in 2day! yey! so im hoping 2 c him! no more time 4 sam, ive decided. just gota let him do wat he needs to do. If hes not willing to 4give and forget and is guna carry on bein savage. . . wat can i do?! anywayz, matt just did a really loud fart and thats gross! loadsa love and kissies, libz x x x
Current mood: 
energetic
Current music: No music! thats a fucking first!
Thursday, May 15, 2003
1:45PM - :( oh god!
well, things didnt go well with sam. After i got off the computer, i asked him if he wanted to go 4 a smoke an he was like "oh, so u gonna talk 2 me then?" an i sed "well, i didnt think...u WANTED 2 talk" he didnt say nethin, he just shook his head an got his fags out,brad came 2 an i wished he hadnt coz then i would have been able 2 talk 2 sam about, u no, stuff. So we were walkin and they were doin most of the talkin and i took it that sam was in one of his thoughtful, reclusive moods so u no, he didnt really wanna talk. We got to the smokin spot and sally,gemma and gayface were there, and he was bein well nice to them so i was a bit gutted then really! We didnt talk sept 4 me sayin "u alrite?!" an he nodded. Propa fanny makin me feel this shit! then i.um.yeah, so we went back up 2 media an that was it. I went 2 lunch and saw his sister waiting where we all meet up 4 lunch and ive never REALLY spoken 2 her so i thought id, u no, get 2 know her. We spent all of lunch 2getha and shes a preety heavy girl mann, well safe! we were just chattin general shit bout her bloke, sam, the bloke on saturday and u no all that shit. All we got was propa evils and sam just kept giving us propa STARES. But i wasnt guna stop talkin 2 her just coz HE didnt want us 2, so we had the rest ov lunch havin a wicked convo' coz u no, i felt wicked coz wen i was tellin her bout how we both treated each other she knew EXACTLY wat i was on about, u no, the whole time it was nice 2 have sm one to tell me it was guna b ok, and it means something coming from her because she KNOWS him, u no, not in the same way i do but u no wat i mean, she knows his moods and the way he is with people. So i dunno wat im going to do. Im guna not try anymore, i think thats the best bet. As we were sat there he looked at us both, and we both smiled-not in a nasty"oh lets rub ur face in it" way it was just-u no- a smile! and he goes "haha,well funny" in a really sarcy nasty way so at that point i just thought "well fuck u then!" and it helps 2 write it down coz i havent told anyone the story ov my day yet coz all my m8s r in an art exam except 4 a few ov them but i cant be arsed 2 say it-find it easier 2 write it. Coz i WELL still wanna b m8s, if we cant be best m8s like we were ( which i tink is out ov the picture) then i still wanna b m8s at LEAST! I LOVE THE FUCKER! despite all the hurt and confusion hes caused me-i still love him and i ....god, i just do. And i hate arguing with him./ Usually i provoke arguments with people i dont like coz then i can blow them out and laf at them but with my friends it compleately different. This chair is hurting my arm, each time i type on the right hand side of the keyboard, my arm mooves back and scccccrrrrrrapes the side ov the chair! oww! changing chairs, hang on!
nice one! inabit, prob write sum more in bout,like, 2mins
Current mood: 
discontent
1:03PM - MUSIC!
same as-
Current mood: 
anxious
Current music: oasis-def maybe
12:54PM - media is where im at
so, im in media with brad and ad and sam. . . sam. . . bein fuckin well fuckin strange mann. I saw him at brake and i nodded so he nodded back and i felt like a bit ov a fanny 4 sm reason but wen he was chattin 2 our friends he seemed like he was acting,u no, i no him well enuf 2 no wen hes not bein himself and he was seeminly being really arsy! so i just left it at that. went up 2 media, and i knew hed be here so i was a little nervous. . eeek! and he was like. . . well, vacant-he gave me my tie that id left at his house and i was like "oh thanx! i 4got bout that, yeah.cool" and he didnt say anythin but he gave me this half smile thing as he was lookin in his bag as if 2 say "yeah this is silly and im finding it awkward 2!" and i just tried not 2 giggle. so i sat at a computer . . .and thats where i am now. No more corsework left 2 do, i got 23/24 4 both pieces , so thats an A for both yey! hes sat behind me facin the opposite direction at his computer and im scared hes guna glance at my screen an c his name. . . . so . . . im guna go! wish me luck wit this situation, how am i guna get out ov this one and get back 2 normal?! i dunno how 2 talk 2 him anymore! i dunno how 2 start convo. . . sSOOOOOOO unusual 4 me! i can talk 2 a stick if i no its not goin anywhere! omg, im babbling, see! ok, im going now!..................................................ok..................................yeah, i am guna go....................................................................................................................................................................................rite, imready ..................i tink.............................OH MY GOD JUST STOP TYPING AND GET OFF THE PISSING COMPUTER!
Current mood: 
indescribable
8:17AM - morning glory
well, tis yet ANOTHER day in this tireing,boring and gay school. 2 day WILL be good thou, i no i said that last time (like yesturday) ! but sam should be in school 2day and i really cant w8 2 c him, i havent seen him since last thursday when he was a compleate cock and i was gutted! but nevermind, we were txin last nite and although he duznt text anything like what he used 2, and i no it'l take him a while to remember how gr8 i am, but ill be reeeeally nice 2day an c wat happens! i just got a tx frm brownie, HOW GR8 IS HE?! hes well fit but in my mind he's 2 good 4 me, but ive fancied him 4 aaages.Like, i met him and i sed "oh my god. . . how fit IS that guy?" then i met sam an didnt see brownie 4 TIME and then just recently ive bin seeing a little more of him, and hes GR8! wat a beautiful morning eh? im sat at my "claimed" computer and i just opened the blind so i cud see the sun an feel it 2. Its propa hot and it was fucking thunder stroms yesturday! but who cares?! its beautiful 2day, and thats all that matters! ooh! the first bells just rang! just then i went and marveled at one ov my m8's (jamie)'s tape that hes made!,trust,yeh, hes guna b fucking famous! how ANYONE can play the guitar and sing like he duz is propa beyond me! how talented is he?! propa jelous now! I really made an effort 2 look nice 2day, but 4 sm reason i feel slightly raucous! TWATTY! anywayz, im guna go, but i'll update a bit later on an tell u how things went wen i saw sam! loadsa love and kissies! LIBMISTER! YeAh! Oh mY GoD I ThInK Im gOiNg dErAnGeD! . . . . gOiNg? I HeAr u cRy! X X X X
Current mood: 
cheerful
Current music: OASIS-DEFINATELY MAYBE
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
1:48PM - SHIT!!!!!!!
I tink that bloke either read my mind (highly unlikely) or read wat i just wrote coz he turned that shit off. . . . oooops!hehe well, a job well done!
Current mood: 
accomplished
1:40PM - lunchtime friends...wat the crack?
just bin 4 lunch and the highlight of it was...wait for it. . . having a fag. I mean come on, how sad is THAT! it was propa crap. I reckon its coz im used to havin a wicked day on wednesdays and coz this is like the first wednesday in TIME that i havent had sex, my bodys like expecting it. . . and its not guna happen! i propa gutted aswell coz i was thinking, im NEVA guna find sm1 as good at everybodys most fave extra curicular activity than him. Trust yeah, he was propa shockingly AMAZING! the things he can do man. . . indescribable! yeah, so back 2 the main point, we played the name game 4 entertainment . . . THE NAME GAME! it gets fucking worse by the minute eh?! i miss sam! well, i shud c him 2moro anywayz. . .that is if he comes in.i hope he comes in! oh my god this dude is playing THE shittest music i have eva heard and im sure its on repeat and its propa pissing me off! do i seem aggrivated coz now that im writing i dont really feel it. WAIT. . . . . . . .IT IS ON REPEAT!THE BASTARD! AND THERES ONLY LIKE 15 SECS OV THE TUNE, IF THAT! AND ITS SOOOOOOO FUCKING ANNOYING! AHHHHHHHHH!
Current mood: 
enraged
Current music: that shit that i dont no wat it is coz i didnt put it on!
11:14AM - WoO wOo! i decided 2 write my gay feet story
well, i no i was annoyed, but if this goes wrong again, im never writing it again, well i'll start on that subject and see where my randomness takes me shall i? Rnt trees gud? yesh, methinks. in fact im goin 2 write a poem
oh tree u r gud
u have green leaves and brown branches
u give us sstuff 2 do
on days wen we dnt have stuff 2 do, thats gud eh?
trees u can sit unda.wel impressive.
i hate feet. i no we need them but i dont like them. coz, like, if we didnt have feet then we wud just have stumps and thats gross, u know like those people in different countries where there are bombs and they stand on them.no thats mines, but yeah, they have stubbles so they dont go very far very fast eh? And THEEEN if we didnt have feet sooooooo many people would be out of jobs and made un employable coz they only have skills in working with feet, like, chropodists, and feet massagers and toe nail painters, an that wud b a shame, an d it would be bad as well coz in a way, twud bring the economy down, yeah, cuz people would be on the social and they wudnt have jobs coz people didnt have feet. but w8, if people didnt have feet in the first place then people wouldnt be trained to work with feet coz...they wouldnt exist.I know a story about feet, well its more like a woman who ate feet. shall i tell it? well,My friend was walking home one day from work and as he was walking he found something a little strange, and no it wasnt a foot,! he noticed that there was no one walking around or driving and on a busy main road in coventry-this is highly un usual.ANYWAY the atmoshere was almost eerie and this kind of freaked him out. The reason for no one being around was this- a crazed woman who loves eating feet had gone on a mad foot eating rampage and everyone who was a resident ov coventry was on her foot recipy list-which was just eating the foot raw-straight off the leg.so everyone was at home with no feet-just stumps-resting their little stumpys with bandages around what was left being all upset coz they had no feet left. She had eaten every1s feet except for his because he was at work- and with him being a resident ov coventry he was last and next on her list. This scared him slightly so he ran allll the way home and luckly he still has his feet today-to help him tell the terrifing tale of the woman who eats feet.. . .
Current mood: pleased
Current music: the donnas -who invited u?
11:11AM - i wrote a well good one aswell...!
oi, yeah, i fuckin wrote a well gud random gayness story about a woman who eats feet, maybe one day i'll write it again one day, but that WELL annoyed me ! grrrr! like tony the tiger, only not quite so orange! placeb
Current mood: 
pissed off
Current music: placebo-the bitter end
9:57AM - now my wednesdays r free. . . .
well, since sam and i so abruptly finished i now have free wednesdays. U c, wednesday used 2 b shag club at sams house an now im not allowed there anymore coz i got 2 "emotionally attatched" ! but. . . .when ur shagging someone who u fancied the ass off in the first place, ur gunna get attatched slightly?! arnt u?! well, i did but i find it hard to believe that he didnt even just a little,or we wudnt have fallen out in the first place! We only fell out because i shagged someone 2 get over him. besides the fact he didnt even know this person and we wernt even together in the first place according to him. . . why in the fuck wud this bother him?! so i know he cared...well, he told me that himself, but what he said was he wasnt emotionally attatched.......now u tell me that compleately goin spastic, not talkin 2 me, an bitchin about me 2 his friends. . . isnt getting emotionally attatched! coz he MUST have been to get so pissed off about the fact i got with someone after, so i could MOVE ON FOR FUCKSAKE! AND HES STOPPING ME FROM DOING THAT! none the less, i didnt want 2 loose him as my best friend, so i did what i NEVER do and decided to let him tell me I was wrong and say sorry, which is something, I DONT DO! but it was for the sake of our friendship i did it and its worth it because, i know we'll be friends for times now. I think this might make us closer,but i have agreed with myself,I CANNOT shag him again EVER, because the same thing will only happen and he'll just get scared ov wat he's feeling and back away saying he duznt want me. WHO wudnt want ME?! Im GREAT! inabit! x x x
Current mood: 
hopeful
Current music: The donnas-take it off
8:58AM
4 got 2 tell ya wat music!
Current mood: 
content
Current music: incubus- science
8:15AM - 2day i will make gud!
ello. Well, another day, another time with me sat at the computer i have claimed as mine in media! I made up with sam, i think. . .thank god! i was sick ov arguing, and when u were such close friends as we were fighting with each others feelings is not an option! I went 2 jamies last nite an had a nice old sing song and session on playin his guitar. I didnt play thou, coz weneva in his presence every1 feels slightly intimidated but totally in awe of his amazing talent! he really is one amazing guitarist and hes getting used 2 his voice now which is gud, coz he has got a gud voice and when singing, iu know that recognising ur skill is hard. BUt so long as u accept its there and learn 2 work with it instead of against it, tis all gud! no wat i mean?! He was slightly upset thou coz hes worring my ol pal sal is goin off him slightly so i spent every minute between singing an playing, reassuring him that she still feels about him the way she did wen they first started going out. Other time was spent texting sam, with him just purely rowing me or insulting me so jamie then had 2 b the one 2 reassure ME! me,! the girl who duznt give a shit about any1 but her self (apperently!) nice 1! and then i waited 4 the bus coz i JUST missed it, i watched it go past. . .h8 it wen that happens! So i waited 4 my bus but twas ok, coz i had my walkman and time passes faster when ur singing along 2 urself an lookin like a muppet to every1 who walks past! so the bus came an while listening 2 my music sam was still txin me and bein nasty, so i said, "it seems all u want to do is row me 4 bein me irte now, u need 2 stop bein bitter an just accept the way things r, and that we cant change waht has already happened, coz otherwise theres no point in wasting our time and credit.so until ur ready 2 start acting mature. . .i'll be waiting. . ." an then he rowed me a bit more but started 2 chill a little after that, so twas good! then, as i was walking home i got WELL close to `a bird and it let me walk,like, well close to it-virtually, right next to it. I was WELL pleased with that! As i careried on with my journey it started to rain really really heavy! i was like SHIT. ., . ITS RAINING! at first but then i was listening to incubus-anti gravity love song, and it was amazing! the sun was properly shining yet it was a massive down pour! and i walked along the road singing aloud walking slowely in the rain and i was so happy! it was one of those defining moments in your life, where things are all put into perspective and compleate satisfaction and bliss fills you and i was just. . . so content! it was so strange! and wen i got 2 my house, i wanted to carry on walking. . . . and i considered it, but i went in, coz it was gettin late then anyway and my dad was like " why do you look so happy with urself?!" an i just replied. . . "i like walking in the rain!. . . . ."
Current mood: 
contemplative
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
12:01PM - in media
Jim is here in media an we r listening to the SONE ROSES! yeah baby! we r so gr8,tis quite gud really, and i like "drinking" THATS good 2, but only one person called ade who is a bloke i met on sat. knows wat that means! in a bit! x x x x x x x x x x x x xd xoh, i put a d in it!
Current mood: ditzy
10:39AM - DECICIONS!
FUCKING HELL! I KEEP DOING THAT MANN! I KEEP writing the subject an then pressin enter coz im a spaz and then it submits. . . oh anyway! ive decided that im guna try an quit smoking, although not weed, just tabacco coz tis a dirty habit and its affecting my singing majorly! i cant hit the same notes i used 2! and THAT is bad, coz i can hit avril notes at full voice, certain mariah notes at full voice and all her others in a quiet tone, and all (even thou i h8 her i cant deny she has a fantastic voice) all christina aguilera notes at full voice and that goes 4 alicia keys 2. Now im finding it hard just 2 hit avril range notes! SO IM STOPPING±!. . . . . .but after this last packet of marlboro reds yeh?!. . . . !
Current mood: ambitious!yesh!
8:59AM - OH MY GOD!
im WELL annoyed now! grrr! i just wrote a big well random, well good entry and i pressed the wrong button. . . . . . . . . . . . and it all DISSAPEARED! FOR GODS SAKE! wat a retard! anywayz, it was gud, twas about cows and mushrooms! . . . . inabit! x x x
Current mood: 
awake
Current music: Incubus-redefine
8:32AM - WoO wOo! i have a journal!
Hey! ive been w8in 2 get one ov these 4 aaaages but my email was down until this morning, so here i go! oh,recently ive been having so muj trouble, this bloke i dumped the first person i ever loved 4 has been propa messin me about, its really upset me coz its all over now and thats pissin me off. We started 2 b friends a long time ago, well,actuallt it was like last year and now! wats happened?! yesturday nite, we had a blazing row and ended up sayin stuff i wish neither of us had sed and im sooo sad, songs i was listening2 were oasis-stop crying ur heart out and incubus-glass, WAT A COUPLE OF SONGS EH?! anyway, i cant explain the full situatuation till later! OH MY GOD! my friend just cut cut his finger open by STICKING A STAPLE IN IT! OH MY GOOOOD! I HATE BLOOD! deep breathing . . . .brown bag.. . . ! ahh! inabit! x x x
Current mood: anxious
Current music: The stone roses-waterfall,she bangs the drums
8:25AM - WoO wOo! i have a journal!
Hey! ive been w8in 2 get one ov these 4 aaaages but my email was down until this morning, so here i go! oh,recently ive been having so muj trouble, this bloke i dumped the first person i ever loved 4 has been propa messin me about, its really upset me coz its all over now and thats pissin me off. We started 2 b friends a long time ago, well,actuallt it was like last year and now! wats happened?! yesturday nite, we had a blazing row and ended up sayin stuff i wish neither of us had sed and im sooo sad, songs i was listening2 were oasis-stop crying ur heart out and incubus-glass, WAT A COUPLE OF SONGS EH?! anyway, i cant explain the full situatuation till later! OH MY GOD! my friend just cut cut his finger open by STICKING A STAPLE IN IT! OH MY GOOOOD! I HATE BLOOD! deep breathing . . . .brown bag.. . . ! ahh! inabit! x x x
Current music: The stone roses-waterfall,she bangs the drums