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[15 Oct 2004|07:08am]

The new chronicles of my life... or something?
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[09 Sep 2004|09:07pm]
Shit son, I don't really update this anymore. I'm all about the diaryland. SCENESTA WHUUUT. Haha. Anyways, I'll try and update this more?
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HOMO SWEET HOMO. [27 Aug 2004|05:25pm]

What an amazing time.
Even though it wasn't anywhere near as enlightning and life changing as last year, and it kind of felt like a job where you didn't get paid yet still worked your patootie off... I had a blast. We had a rad group of 25 kids, and I already miss them dearly.

I'll write more later about everything, I might type up some of the journal entries from there, but yeah... I am back, and in withdrawls already. PEACHES! MITTENS! I WANT TO GO BACK!
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So long, suckaaaaaas. [31 Jul 2004|09:17am]
I couldn't sleep a wink last night. All I could think was that I packed too many clothes, that I needed new sandals and that I'm forgetting something important. I'm actually going positively mad. And now I'm so tired since I didn't sleep. Tonight will probably be worse.

Anywhooo.... blah blah, I'm off to camp for a month, so... goodbye everyone!
I'll be back with plenty of stories on August 27th.
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Be more dynamic. [30 Jul 2004|12:13pm]
Last night was so much fun. What a way to see all my friends for the last time. Frig, I love them so much. I don't care if people say they're stupid, that they smoke too much pot, that they drink too much, that they have no ambition... because when I', with them, I have so much fun. And last night was a blast. Everyone came over and we had a bbq, and then we went over to the scout hall and played soccer, and sooooo many more people came! It was just so much fun. And then Andrew, Kane and Dernyn came back and we played cards till like 2:30 in the morning. I wish I got to spend more time with these people. They really truly are my good friends. Fuck the scenesters, fuck the pretentious kids who think they're too hardcore for everyone else, I've got my friends right here thanks, and they're ten thousand times better than you! And I am totally going to miss them like crazy. Ah man. I'm so lucky, seriously.
Deana slept over last night then this morning when we woke up we took the bus and I went to the mall and bought her this reallllly nice sweater she wants. Tonight we're gonna celebrate her birthday dinner.
I should be packing right now since I have to be allllll packed by tonight, but IM LAZY AND DON'T WANT TO!
Well... I guess I'm off!
I'm so happy. Frig, I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Did I say that? Best people ever. Blah blah I'm a loser. I'm going to miss them.
Now I'm really off!
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OKAY YALL. [27 Jul 2004|11:31pm]
Shit all, this week is hellish already, and its only tuesdayyyyyyy.
So much to do, soooo little time.

I'm such a nervous, stressed wreck.

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[25 Jul 2004|12:15am]
I can't believe how much I am going to miss him.
Why didn't I realize it?
He wrote me the nicest letter of all times, and I bawled my eyes out at the train station.
This sucks.
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bbq whaaaaat! [24 Jul 2004|06:08pm]
Going to Rod's going away bbq tonight.
It probably wont hit me that he's leaving until I get there. It still hasn't registered. Its nuts. Sam has been a wreck about it all week, but for some reason it hasn't really fazed me yet. But yeah, its going to be sad. I've only known him for a while, but he's been nothing but nice to me, and I think I will definately miss him. But I wish him the best of luck in everything, and I'm proud of him for making decisions that I probably never could. I hope to see him again.

I'm so tired, I played for some women's team today in the boiling hot sun, and now I'm drained. I hope I don't fall asleep at the bbq.

Shit son, 8 days till camp.
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Pickitupup. [23 Jul 2004|06:30pm]
God, I need to get over myself and grow up.
I need to gain more responsability and stop being such a twit.
I need to stop moping over nothing, and do something with myself.
I can't just keep being me.

This summer has been such a bust. It totally hasn't been what I planned. I'm so disappointed in it.

9 days till I'm out of here.
It wont solve anything, it will just put it all on hold. I like to procrastinate. Who knew. I want to forget about everything for a while.

I'm so grumpy now.

And to put the icing on the cake, I lost ONE of my teeva sandals, which I desperately need for camp, and paid a lot of cash for. ONE. Might as well have lost both, because what fucking good does one sandal do me? NONE.
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[22 Jul 2004|02:06pm]
Why am I petrified of the telephone?
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[21 Jul 2004|07:03pm]
I totally have my chance to scream at him and tell him how much I dislike for what he did, but I'm not going to.
I totally should, because I think I deserve to.

But I wont.

I'm above and beyond that. But still. Ugh.


And I know that I shouldn't want to escape, because I know what happened last year, but I DONT CARE.

Anyways, my summer is so dull. I want out!
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[19 Jul 2004|04:05pm]
Boys are so lame.

I've been busy, but I don't even know what with.
All my time keeps disappearing.
Less than two weeks till camp. I seriously can't wait to get out of here!

I got Daryl Sutter's autograph. ALL IS WELL IN THE WORLD, AHAHH.
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[19 Jul 2004|04:05pm]
Boys are so lame.

I've been busy, but I don't even know what with.
All my time keeps disappearing.
Less than two weeks till camp. I seriously can't wait to get out of here!

I got Daryl Sutter's autograph. ALL IS WELL IN THE WORLD, AHAHH.
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[13 Jul 2004|04:39pm]
This fucking blows.
I'm bored to tears.
There is seriously not a thing to do lately. So lame.
And this boy is confusing me. Like big time. And I think I'm starting to think too much about everything, and I don't know where he stands anymore.
I need to get out.
Of here.
Of town.
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[12 Jul 2004|10:50pm]
Liking a boy is really hard work.

I want to spend time with this new boy.
I'm feeling that whole "thinking about him so much and can't stop" thing... which I haven't felt in a while.
We've thought of such extravagant plans.
But we don't seem to have the time to follow through.
Our scheduals conflict majorly.
And that totally rots.
Plus, we both go away in three weeks.

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Mmmmkay! [11 Jul 2004|03:54pm]
I am so utterly bored today.
My butt is actually getting sore from sitting on it. You know you're lazy when.......
I really need to get out and do something, but the weather is just kind of blah, and I am super tired still.
Nice boy left me a message today, we might go to the Stampede tomorrow. I'm looking forward to doing something with him, but in all honesty, I am no the biggest fan of the Stampede. It has lost most of its attraction to me. Plus, I hate rides. I mean, if he just wants to like, go down there, walk around, hang out, etc. then thats cool with me... but like, I don't know. Personally I'd like to go on a picnic! Cause I'm a twit-ass! Hahaha. I don't know, I'd like to do something that didn't involve thousands of drunk/dirty/annoying people crammed into a place with rides and gross food. Ah well, I'll take what I can get, cause he seems like a nice boy. Shannon keeps telling me how wonderful he is, but I wonder if she is just saying that cause they are friends! I mean, if I wanted to set my friend up with someone, of course I'd be like, "Friend is sooooo great, so wonderful, nice, good looking, more bulllshit..." Whatever, I guess we'll seeeeee!

As much as I want a relationship, I'm scared. I'm leaving August 1st for a whole month. Thats a long time to be away from someone. I mean, look what happened last year when I went away... mind you, maybe Will was just a special case. Anyways, I am probably just getting too far ahead of myself, maybe nothing will even happen with this guy.

Hahahah, I watched the wedding singer today. So cheesy. But I like that movie. When he sings the song to her at the end, and they live happily ever after, I can't help but wonder, "Why doesn't that actually ever happen?" WTF!

Okay, I'm just getting delerious. I'm out!
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[10 Jul 2004|07:29pm]
Weddings truly do bring out the best and worst in all people.

So... to start it off, I was getting ready, and I thought I was looking fairly nice, until I realized, I sat in fucking makeup... leaving nice brownish spots on the ass of my white dress. And then I realized the dress made my boobs like HUGE. My boobs are a 36-B... thats pretty average. But I seriously looked like I had KNOCKERS. Ick.

Anyways, we did a whackload of photos and shit, and then there was the ceremony. Ken accidently had a dog bone in his pocket, don't ask why, and my dog kept like, jumping on him during the ceremony. And I laughed.

Anyways, all my friends came, and we got nicely drunk, and had a nice time. Chocolate fountain and all. Rod and Trina stopped by and we all hung out in my room. Laura and Rod pushed me off my bed and I smacked my face on a table. It hurt sooo bad, and now my face is blue and really swollen.

Anyways, my mom was quite drunk, and decided she didn't like Rod... because of ridiculous reasons. So once him and Trina left she screamed at me saying I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. She has no fucking idea! I was quite angry, so I went down into my room and cried.

My cousins Adam and John came down and talked to me, and they took me and Laura outside, with my sister Sam. We went to the field with two cases of beer, and got even more drunk. We accidently set off the alarm at the scout hall and we had to run home, and I fell out of my shoes cause it was so wet. So funny.

Anyways so we sat in the backyard and Adam and John told stories, while my sister knocked back the drinks. She is 13. Throughout the night she had champagne and whatnot, but when we were all out there later she had 3 beers, and FIVE rum and cokes. I was like, yo wtf Sam! She was laughing so hard, and kept asking John to give her a donkey ride like he would when they were young. Then her feet started to bleed, it was soooo weird, I was laughing so hard. John told us about when he used to be a coke addict it was weird, I learned a lot about my cousins. I wish I knew them better, but its hard because they live so far away. But I like them.

At 530 in the morning my mom came out and screamed at me again, saying I was a horrible kid, and I was grounded forever and all this shit. I was like... err okay? And went to bed.

She appologized this morning, thank god. She was just drunk. But I was quite embarassed.

Anyways, the wedding was good for the most part.

Will didn't show. I guess I am not surprised. But I am disappointed that he didn't call me like he said he would. Fuck that. He's done. No more chances, I'm through. Seriously, this was the test, and its over.


Okay cool.
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[08 Jul 2004|07:02pm]
I forgot to write that yesterday I went to a movie with Will!
It was pretty cool.
I called him.
We went out.
It was awkward a bit but still okay.
Some things reminded me of the way we used to act.
I invited him to come tomorrow.
I hope he does!
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[08 Jul 2004|06:59pm]
Holy crapface.
I don't like when 209345575 people are at my house.
And this isn't even the wedding. Its the night before.
Scary. I just.... blah don't like a million people in my house.
I always hide in the office or my room.
Any minute my maaam is gonna yell and be like, COME VISIT.
I don't wanna.
I hope Will comes tomorrow.
The end.
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I don't even know why, the truth seems like a lie. [07 Jul 2004|11:49am]
Its so rainy out, its ridiculous.

I want to cuddle with someone.
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