Dangerously Boring's Blurty -- Entries

Dangerously Boring's Blurty Entries

Dangerously Boring

[ website | My Livejournal ]

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]

[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

(2 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

If you've done this before, do it again. [17 Jul 2004|12:58am]

[ mood | quixotic ]

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

(4 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

I'm Open for Business... [11 Jul 2004|02:54am]

[ mood | Exhausted and horribly stupid ]

[ music | Those girls in the background...Yeah, them ]

I'm updating my journal at Kelly's house. This is a tad bit sad.

Alright, so I'm 16 years old, entering my Junior year in High School. Please correct me if I'm wrong but I've been frequently told that this is the time of my life and that I should try my utmost to take advantage of it. So I've been following this advice, expanding my social circle, and attempting to have an enjoyable summer. And I've been more or less successful. Except for the interim which I'm no longer in the prescence of my friends, or are experiencing those bouts of....bad feelings. (?)
(Alli just exclaimed "Waaaaah", adding to the irrefutable depth of my claims) So, yes, what was I getting at again?
MMmmm...something about my mother being cross with me about actually developing a social life...Erm...Yes..it's gone.

I didn't get home from the Halo overnight until 5. Sleep? It's for the weak.

I think this entry makes so little sense because I'm so sleep-deprived.

(8 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

We have...Five....Five Thousand! [06 Jul 2004|11:13pm]

[ mood | discontent ]

[ music | Phantom Planet-First Things First ]

Despite all the wonderful things in my life right now, I can't help but be sulky. Teen angst much, Kate?

I always wonder what it's like to have someone deeply care for you . And then I wonder if such a deep affection can be ever directed towards me. I desperately wish it was possible. I think about it constantly. But for some reason it just doesn't seem feasible. How do I say this without sounding like the complete imbecile? Well, I've gone on this tirade before with several people and I'll attempt to articulate it to the best of my ability.

Life, parents, and society teaches us that the only logical thing to do when one comes of age is to pair off into a couple and propegate your kind. Sure, this is normal. After all, human instinct urges us to fuck like rabbits and have babies. We can't help it. But perhaps this isn't the best and most logical course for everyone? Maybe not all people are intended to be one of two. I don't believe that all people should spend the rest of their days with a mate. No matter how hard I try, it's simply impossible to imagine myself in a happy and functional relationship. Emotion-wise, I'm a solitary person. Yes, I know, I'm fairly extroverted. But I'm content to spend the rest of my days reading, muttering to myself, reading, and running around naked when nobody's home. Which is certainly not to say I don't crave companionship. in fact, it's something I pine for constantly.

But.....

I'm too much of a third wheel,which is another major source of dismay for me. When I'm in social situations I can't help feeling like I'm merely dead weight. Or the sarcastic sidekick. Initially, I blamed others for this. But I gradually realized that nobody was at fault but me. It's my own personality, actions, and lack of pizazz that contribute to such a status. Never can I be the center of attention. My niche in life has already been carved for me. I exist to deliver bad one-liners and less-than-funny sarcastic comments.
And, as any self-respecting sidekick would desire, I wish to escape my seemingly unavoidable destiny: To be a foil to someone who shines brighter than me.

And here's where I heave a heavy and sad sigh and say something utterly childish and depressing like "Such is life".

(3 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

[26 Jun 2004|12:45am]

[ mood | Lonely, in an insane way ]

Sometimes when I leave a large group of people or a party I become really melancholy. It's as if I've peaked and the only logical progression would be a decent into a childish and sulking lonliness. It happens alot, too. When I have a blast I end up feeling like crap afterwards.

Now I need someone to be here. I need someone else's physical presence right now. It's the sort of lonliness that's maddening. Because really, the feeling is akin to insanity.

If you read this, walk to my house now. I'm seriously contemplating walking down the street and just waking someone up to talk to me.

I'm crazy. Truly and certifiably crazy. Sorry, that was emo.

(5 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

High Aspirations [15 Jun 2004|10:26am]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

This was my entry for September 5, 2003. These are the things I wished to accompish this year. Let's see how close I came to attaining these goals......(All reflections in italics)
( GOALS FOR THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR )

(poke me with a stick)

"And I Wonder If He Ever Has Cried, 'Cause His Kitten Got Run Over and Died." [05 Jun 2004|03:43pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

[ music | Fountains of Wayne-Leave the Biker ]

Ah, Blurty, how I've missed you.

I was checking this thing when I realized that I hadn't updated for about a week. Shame on me. My livejournal keeps me occupied, I suppose. It's much faster.

Wow, June 5, 2004. How'd I make it this far? Here I am, end of Sophomore year. Only two more remain. I don't know about you, but this simple fact baffles me. Soon I'll have to leave my comfortable little seaside shack in Marshvegas and enter the real world. I hope that by then I'll be prepared to wake myself up in the morning, do my own laundry, pay bills, and drive.

I know that I need to make this Summer count. Please help me make it not suck. Everyday should be spent swimming in my pool, reading, lazing about with friends, and running amok in Brant Rock. Everynight should be spent tiptoeing around the beach, or some other Summer-time location.

Just so you know, I want lots of unexpected visitors this Summer. Stop by my house, I don't care who you are, or if I invited you. I'll be overjoyed to see someone. : )

(4 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

Thoughts are Slow [30 May 2004|01:38pm]

[ mood | embarrassed ]

Sorry for the past few days. I seemed to have developed a flair for melodrama. Who knew?

Today hasn't worked out well thus far. I intended to go to the fair, but that didn't exactly pan out. Now I'm sort of bored and useless. I have a million things for school I could do, but I don't think I will.

I'd love to do something fun or wacky today, but I doubt that will happen. Seriously, someone just drop by my house and take me away. heh. I don't care who you are, I just don't want to spend the entirety of my Sunday in my room.

(10 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

"To Me, You Are Perfect" [29 May 2004|05:11pm]

[ mood | Sadly Stupid ]

[ music | Coldplay-Green Eyes ]

Movies always get to me. Perhaps that's one of my greater weaknesses. Whenever I see one and observe the characters grow, overcome adversity, and find their special niche in the world, I cry. But it's not because of my attatchement to them. No. I find that it's because that's such a glorious and beautiful accomplishment, something to strive for. Namely, something I can't have.

And I finally admit that deep down, in my heart of hearts, it's what I want more than anything in the world. Maybe. Yes.

I realize that the movie is just a movie, an idealized, watered-down, and sweetened version of the truth. But somewhere along the line my subconscious has clung to that ideal. I want something to work out for me, just once. I want something to go perfectly right. I want to slay the dragon, win the admiration of the village people, and save the prince.

But movies are shit. I'm never going to meet the man of my dreams, and in a series of wacky mishaps that result from my oh-so-quirky (but loveable) idiosyncrasies, fall madly and hopelessly in love. Never will I win the big game, despite my blantant and impossible underdog status, win the big game. I won't win the battle for Middle Earth, either.

While all these facts are self-evident to both you and I, I have these versions of happiness in my head. And despite my best efforts, they refuse to leave. It's hard, knowing that you'll never attain that special perfection. Maybe other people are the same way and don't know it. All their lives, never satisfied by their less-than-perfect status. All because of some bull-shit movie. You tell yourself that such a thing doesn't exist, but that doesn't help.

Watching Love Actually last night had a similar effect. It was a fairly realistic movie, as sappy romantic flicks go. And, as few movies fail to do, it upset me. I just watched all these varying versions of love and wanted it. Wouldn't that be nice? Someone to love and pine for you, despite all your flaws. Someone to come to your house on Christmas, and tell you that you're perfect. Someone to learn portuguese for you.
I don't know if I'll ever have that. It just isn't feasible for someone like me.

(8 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

I Can't Help It, I Was Born This Way [26 May 2004|04:14pm]

[ mood | melancholy ]

[ music | I'm humming ]

Apparently, it's not a good time to be female. We're dropping like flies.

It's difficult to be happy when everyone around you is so sad. Their melancholy dispositions and problems weigh down on you, forcing you to draw parallels between their situation and yours. I usually do exceptionally well at feigning happiness, though, so it's not an issue for me.

I desperately want to stay home, but I have fencing in an hour.

But we all have to pick up and go about our business. I hate knowing that I'm just another stupid girl, and I'm that easily won over by a few kind words or flattery. The other day I honestly think I discovered first hand why teenage girls and women are so unbearably stupid. We desperately fish for meaning in places where there are none. We obsess. We cry. We worry. I deeply resent all of this, yet I'm guilty of every single one of these crimes.

We've decided we need a third option. Boys? No! Girls? PSH! Asexual reproduction? Sounds absolutely marvelous.

I love Martha and Laur, and I hope they feel better. The pity party will be fun.

(3 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

[19 May 2004|08:57pm]

[ mood | sad ]

It's amazing how one trivial, insignificant thing can totally destroy an entire day of happiness.

(3 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

Sleeping Beauty [14 May 2004|05:20pm]

[ mood | amused ]

Check out the wonderful new icon.

I am now officially Dangerously Boring.

Look at me, poised to leap into action. My sleeping is just a ruse to lull you into a false sense of security. I'm tricky like that.

(1 gouged-out eye | poke me with a stick)

[11 May 2004|03:05pm]

[ mood | guilty ]

I love the warm weather.

And it's true, my mood is profoundly affected by it's fluctuations. We went outside in gym today and played ultimate frisbee. Our team consisted of Tina, Taylor, some over-enthusiastic freshman girls, and me. Tina, Taylor, and I mostly sort of stood there, allowing the other team to make an endless stream of scores/touchdowns/whatever. However, the fact that I was in gym couldn't even dampen my spirits. It was so enormously gorgeous out that I was still chipper.

After long bouts of butchering fine piano music, Ms. AHH took us outside to play MORE ultimate frisbee. It was significantly more enjoyable this time around, and I continued to marvel at my good fortune. 80 degrees and I'm out in the field playing ultimate with Ms. R! Golly gee! (Mock Ms. I! MOCK HER!)

Of course, Bino's class was a total wet blanket. She couldn't find my Dickinson poster, and when she finally stumbled upon it, asked if I had another picuture of Emily's house. SHIT
Yeah, sure Ms. I. I'll conjure up another picture of the Dickinson Homestead that I never visited. No problem.

Mr. C talked to us about the looming disasters in Iraq and the inevitabilty of the draft. That, in combination with my other quasi-sticky situation was enough to make me slightly grumpy.

Now I've worked myself up and am slightly disoriented. Perhaps it's because I can't go into my room, on account of the window replacement in the works. All I want to do is be calm and serene, but it's not working out as I planned.

I think I'll sleep so I can forget about that and all the other petty little issues that are plaguing me.

What would the world be like if we all spoke in iambic pentameter?
Comment with your thoughts.

(poke me with a stick)

Plorp [08 May 2004|11:50pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

[ music | Dave Mathews Band-When the World Ends ]

The Pops is the best music event of the year. I was going to write a long and drawn out description, but I'll spare you the details. Most of you were there anyways. Everyone looked wonderful and Martha was 'the hottness, yo' in her new cherry dress. I finally 'met' Sophie's Jimmy, whom I guess I had already met. Dibby, who is my favorite mother in the world, payed for me and bought me a slew of cokes. I <3 her.

Things are going spectacularly lately. I can only hope that it continues to go so well for me.

(1 gouged-out eye | poke me with a stick)

Don't Shoot my Bitches! [06 May 2004|05:58pm]

[ mood | touched ]

[ music | Guster-Happier ]

I should be studying right now. But, as we all know, staying on task is not one of my many talents.

But I'm glad I went online, because I got an e-mail from Mr. C. which was so sweet it made me let out an audible "Awwww!"
He's been such a wonderful teacher and I feel priveledged to be in his class. It's the only thing I'll actually miss about Sophomore year. It's such a peculiar enviroment, though, because every student has formed a somewhat of a bond with the teacher. We all know him, he knows all of us. See what you did? Now I have the warm fuzzies.

An excerpt: "You know a lot more than you think. Remember, in the multiple choice questions, CAPITALIZED WORDS ARE IMPORTANT!!! Such as EXCEPT, DID NOT, etc. ahem, Kate Noyes, not to mention names."
-Mr. C
I laughed and then began reminiscing like crazy. "God creates out things!", "Are you a bino?", games of star, candle, and toilet, "You're so domestic!". They're all such funny times.

(2 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

Hmmm.... [03 May 2004|08:27pm]

[ mood | quixotic ]

For the first time in what seems like a while, things make sense. Or as much sense as things can make in my life. I've sorted myself out.

I'm happy and left with a lingering hope for the future, whatever may happen.

::cue cheesy music::

(poke me with a stick)

Bad Country Music and Marshalls [01 May 2004|12:15am]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

RABBIT RABBIT

Rabbit rabbit brings back intense memories and makes me miss the good old days when I'd come home and Grampie would whip up a PB&J with corn chips.

I was the worst granddaughter ever.

Sophomore years is almost over. That's a regular "WTF" moment.

(1 gouged-out eye | poke me with a stick)

[29 Apr 2004|10:26pm]

[ mood | angry ]

Things are a mess.

(poke me with a stick)

Making Noyes [26 Apr 2004|09:06pm]

[ mood | confused ]

There's far too much going on in my brain to do this fucking project.

I need me time, but Emily Dickinson (or Mrs. I) stole that.

Bitches.

I need to sort all this stuff out.

Now's not the most opportune time.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

My friend's thing on blurty is broken. Only Martha shows up. Maybe that's because I'm her favorite.

I need to be sedated before my tiny brain explodes.

Craaap.....

(3 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

An Ugly Boating Mishap [24 Apr 2004|02:00pm]

[ mood | worried ]

[ music | Ozma-Eponine ]

I haven't updated this journal for a few days, which is unusual for one such as myself. I blame livejournal. It's wonderfully fast.

Hmm....yesterday....

Martha, Kelly, Gina, and I partook in the usual Friday activities at the Mall (Honestly, we need to find a better way to waste our time.) Sadly, I didn't have a single cent to my name. I would have, had my boss (Gina) been in the country so she would have been able to sign paycheck. No signature? No money.

I bummed three dollars off of Kelly for a Mocha Freeze. We ended up chatting with a aesteticly pleasing young Cafe clerk concerning subjects such as Mallrats and the subtle difference between pig and cow gruel. Personally I prefer pig gruel. I don't believe my palate is refined enough for a delicacy like cow gruel. (I've been told it's an acquired taste..)

We trekked back to Kelly's around 9:30 to watch Mallrats and Clerks, as well as take incriminating/embarassing pictures. I'll have to post some of them here if I can get Kelly to put them on a disk for me.

Oh, don't read The Losers by David Eddings. Not good. Not that any of you read David Eddings. Though I figured it was my civic duty to warn the masses about such a heinous mistake of a book.

(4 gouged-out eyes | poke me with a stick)

My Daily Lament [18 Apr 2004|10:02pm]

[ mood | bitchy ]

Errr.....My parents were a thorn in my side today.

When I claim my father is annoying, most people assume that it's a teenager's angst speaking; That my only reason for possessing such an opinion is the fact that my father doesn't grant me permission to do whatever my childish whims dictate. If only that were the sole cause of my agitation.

This man goes out of his way to chafe at my temper and sanity. He bangs at my door in the morning, turns the TV up to incredible decibel levels (which have most likely caused mild loss of hearing on my part), interrupts me during the climax of a good movie, intrudes upon my solitude when he knows I need it most, nags (like you'd expect a grandmother to do), places my laundry in the one place I've courteously asked him not to, eats the food I've expressly asked him not to eat, makes snide and negative comments to me in public, leaves annoying messages on the machine, and (to add one last childish remark) is a complete asshole.

That's not to say he lacks redeeming qualites....It's simply difficult for me to recall just what they exactly these are at this moment.

On a lighter, less whining note, I'm going into Boston tomorrow. We'd like a third party,so if you have any interest, give me a call. (Though it's past 10 and we're heading out tomorrow morning. Heh.)

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