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Monday, August 2nd, 2004
2:33 pm - cms AND what?!
fun weekend:

bob and ryan picked me up at like 6:30 and hit the road. we stopped in bourbonnais to go to steak and shake where i was ever so happy because they gave me cucumbers to put on my burger. then ryan slept and bob and i chatted. we stopped at the rest area outside effingham and bob started on this effingham salad kick, then he decided he wants to buy the effingham cross and turn it into the brothel. we finally got into carbondale, went to walmart, picked up deann, met up with matt, brad, and grant at the apartment. then deann wanted to go home but she needed to get us booze first so we went in bobs car with bob and brad, picked it up, dropped her off at home, and then I had to drive back to ryans. i was the only sober one so it was all good. then i went to take a nap and listened to matt's amsterdam prostitute as i tried to crash. i woke up when ryan came in to go to sleep ( he'd been up since 4 am) so we laid down for awhile then he fell asleep and i went out to hang with the guys. grant wanted hamburger helper so they asked me to drive them all to kroger. so i did, and if i wouldve gotten pulled over, i wouldve been fucked because i'd had a beer and everyone else was pretty damn drunk, except for bob who was obliterated. so we went to kroger, went back to the apartment, ate and talked to almost 6 a.m. then we all decided to sleep, except i couldnt and ryan felt really bad and then id get pissy and try to sleep on the floor and hed like drag me back into bed. so we didnt really get out of bed until noon.

then we went to the chinese buffet and bob and ryan got chinese and i was afraid that i'd fall asleep so i didnt. so we hung out and talked about ingrown hairs ( bob and i) and bob needed to stew so we sat there for an extra 15 minutes while ryan and i just laughed and ryan fed me cake. then we left, the guys got me mcdonalds, and went to matt and brads. we decided to watch the "flashpoint" featuring the fine skills of jenna jameson, who plays a fire fighter, trying to find the arsonist framing her, and getting her freak on in the meantime. it was great. then we went back to ryans, we hung out for awhile. got ready, planned for the bar, and went to pk's.

so i was going to wear the cms hat cuz it matched, but then i didnt. i shouldve because my hair frizzed when i went outside. anyway we went to pk's and it was fun. these two guys were hitting on me mad style and buying me shots and drinks. i drank like a fuckin champ, i didnt even chase. so this one is hitting on me mad style, and ryan loved it because this kids talking about who it seems like i have such great boobs, and he'd like to see more, and he's sitting there rubbing my thigh and kissing my neck and this guy DIDNT GET IT. anyway we eventually left all drunk as hell. then we got bagels, and bob managed to scam his way into sidetrax and get a bloddy mary. so he had his dream dinner. then he broke some of the windows. then we went home in a cab and bob got realy surly and asked if he could talk into the drivers radio. fabulous. then we slept. until waaaay too late. i had to drive home with brad, which was fine. good times in that car. i was sad about leaving ryan but we stopped at two rest stops and we got to see eachother then. fuck im such a loser. i CANT WAIT till im back at school.

current mood: anxious
current music: sublime

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Thursday, July 29th, 2004
12:50 pm - i dont like to update anymore
n f o r m a t i o n
1. name: colleen
2. status: i go to class, i make pizza, i make out with my boyfriend. i guess that covers all the statuses
3. sex: chick
4. birthday: july 3
5. sign: cancer. it sounds so bad
6. siblings: two brothers
7. hair color:brown. some days it looks darker than others
8. eye color: green
9. shoe size: 8 1/2 -91/2
10. height: 5'7
11. favorite foods: cucumbers, saltines, cheeseburgers, ummm chocolate?
12. hometown: chicago
13.do you like where you live: its okay. sometimes the people arent

r e l a t i o n s h i p
1. who are your best friends?: i never know how to answer this question. but the two people i think i can trust the most are marcus and ryan. its always boys
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yes i do
3. did you send this to your crush?: i sent it to no one
4. did your crush send this to you?: no one sent it to i
5. longest relationship:almost 11 months
6. how many actual relationships have you been in?: ummm i dont even know what constitutes anymore but ill say 3...technically it could be 6 but ill say three
7. how many people have you kissed?: lets not get into it
8. are you shy around your crush?: nope. im actually a little too brazen sometimes
9. do you indulge in random hook-ups?: no more
10. still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with?: not romantic ones
11. do you know what it feels like to be in love?: indeed
12. would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends?: depends on which friend

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: express, the gap, vs
2. have any tattoos or piercings?: yes
3. what is your favorite thing to wear?: im comfy in a tank and jeans
4. what is a must have accessory?: my ring. i hate to take it off. but you should always have a cute purse to go with your outfit
5. how much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing?: way too much. triple digets
7. who is the most fashionable person you know?:sadly, ive got to say bob. in his own way. gotta love the fred perrys and birdmans
8. who is the least fashionable person you know?: lets just say everyone at work. but then again we really dont care.
9. do you match your belt with your hair color?: no.........im not that queer.
10. what is the worst thing you've ever thought looked good?: remember back in the day when we all wore huge sweatshirts with our tight stretch pants and work boots?
11. what are you wearing right now?: jeans and a black polo
13. what is the worst trend you see today?: ive seen some really ugly prints this summer

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs? no
3. what are you most scared of?: being poor this year
4. what are you listening to right now?: naked raygun
5. who is the last person that called you?: ryan when he got home from work
6. where do you want to get married?: i guess a church
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 30
8. what would you change about yourself?: ive got big thighs
9. what are essentials in your life?: chocolate, lip gloss, cute undies, tshirts stolen( borrowed because youre lonley, is that better?) from boys, and something cute to cuddle up with when its time to sleep, whether its a boy or a bear.
11. what nationality are you?: irish, polish, and english
12. do you send out holiday cards each year?: my family does. i sign my name. so sure.

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. given someone a bath?:.........sure lets go with yes.
3. bungee jumped?: hell no
4. made yourself throw up?: yes. and it saved me from throwing up later.
5. skinny dipped?: no that i havent
6. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: kinda but not really. more just a pouty face
7. cried when someone died?: im not a friggin robot
8. fallen for your best friend? kinda yeah
9. been rejected?: kinda yeah
10. rejected someone?: kinda yeah
11. used someone?: nope

c u r r e n t
1. hair: puled back in a ponytail. its surprisingly straight even though i didnt straighten it
2. music: sublime
3. make-up: none. i used moisturizer.
4. annoyance: trying to think of how i can explain why i need 50 bucks
5. scent: lavender flowers covering the faint smell of smoke
6. favorite artist: van gough...im such a little shit
7. favorite group: coheed
8. desktop picture: rick james, beyotch
9. book you're reading:i finished sushi for beginners this afternoon
10. cd in player: a bunch of mixes
11. dvd in player:i dont leave those in the dvd player. i actually put them away
12. color of toenails: ballet on ice

Have you Ever...

Hiked a mountain?: not that i remember
Walked a mile?: yes. many
Really walked a mile in someone elses shoes?:well i dont think it was a whole mile
Been in love?: yes
Stayed up all night?: yes
Broken a bone?: yes
Pulled a muscle?: yes
Fractured something?: same thing as breaking a bone really
Sprained something?: yes
Watched the show Happy Days?: omg i wanted to marry the fonz.
Cried because you've missed someone?: absolutely. im such a queer
Had a party?: not one at my house. but ive had them thrown for me
Had a food fight?: probly. nothing out of hand
Jumped on a trampoline?: yeah but not in like......i dunno 10 years?
Played spin the bottle?: actually no
Been in a fist fight?: ha i wish!
Been in a hospital?: yes i have
Had a falling dream?: kinda. i hate it when its as your falling asleep and you reallyfeel like your falling
Played baseball with a bunch of friends?: no i havent played in a long ass time. i watched the widb peeps play. that was sweet.
Took a Bubble Bath?: yep
Been in a car accident?: yes but it was never my fault
Driven a Car?: yes but i dont like it
Laughed so Hard that you peed in your pants?: no but ive come awfully close. especially that time coming home from the metro
Lied?: no, ive NEVER lied
Fallen asleep in class?: omg in plant bio i did it like every day

Do you have any pets?: my doggie
Who is your favorite family member?: i dont even know anymore

How are you liking this survey?: kinda long
What's the last thing you ate?: a carrot stick
What would you like to eat right now?:cake
Do you believe in God?: yes
What do you think about Diet Coke?: so great with lime
How many pieces of pizza can you eat?: depends on what kind and how big they are and how hungry i am
How much chocolate can you eat?: to omuch
What kind of shoes do you wear the most?: flip flops
What grade are you in?: sophomore in college
What's the best part of the school day?: breaks
Why?: because it makes me feel all cute and safe.

last time that you...

Laughed?: seinfeld like an hour ago
Danced?: sunday afternoon
Stayed up past midnight?: yesterday. couldnt fall asleep till three
Been happy?: today
Been sad?: today
Drank bottled water?: yesterday
Went swimming in a lake?last summer
Been to the beach?: i was by it on sunday
Hung out with some friends?: saturday
Took a shower?: few hours ago
Went for a walk?: umm saturday night. the liquor store was closed at 10:25. wtf.
Been bored?: today
Eaten Birthday cake?: ummmm for my grandmas b-day in june. i didnt have cake on mine because ryan forgot

Do fish have feelings too?: sure. little fuckers
Should ants be kept in ant farms?: id say yes but then its too many in one little area and if it breaks theyd be swarming you
What do you think of black nail polish?: a tad tacky
What do you think of pink nail polish?: a staple
Are people who talk to Animals crazy?: if they are then call me nutty
Are you a good person?: sure
Are mice cute?: adorable
Is black even a color? yes
What do you feel about the color blue?: its nice and calming
How many chocolate chips should a cookie have?: 12
Is bottled water really better than tap water?: sometimes. depends on where your at
What pizza place has the best pizza? wisegusy when your drunk is the shiznit

*. . . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue? nose
2) be serious or be funny? funny
3) drink whole or skim milk? 2%

* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated? pretty simple

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels? flowers.......thats kinda a weird pairing
6) grey or gray? gray
7) color or black-and-white photos? both
8) lust or love? lovin
9) sunrise or sunset? sunrise, then sleeping all day
10) M&Ms or Skittles? m&ms
11) rap or rock? both
12) staying up late or waking up early? stayin up late
13) TV or radio? tv
15) eating apples or oranges? apples

* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *
16) Do you have a crush? yes
17) Who is it? kane

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R. . . *
18) being hot or cold? cold
19) tall members of the opposite sex? yes
20) sun or moon? moon
21) emeralds or rubies? rubies, although my ring does have an emerald in it
22) left or right? i like lefties
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 10 acquantances because then you have more peeps to hang with
24) sun or rain? little drizzle in sun is good
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
26) boys or guys? guys.....?
27) green beans or carrots? carrots
28) low fat or fat free? low

* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world? fish
30) Kids or no kids? kids....just not now
31) Cat or dog? woof
32) Half empty or half full? empty
33) Mustard or ketchup? mustard
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books? i like them hard
35) Newspaper or magazine?magazine
36) Sandals or sneakers? flip flops
37) Wonder or amazement? amazement
38) Red car or white car? red
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich? rich can always buy you a dog
40) Singing or dancing? dancing
41) Hugging or kissing? both
42) Corduroy or plain? plain........?
43) Happy or sad? hapy. duh
44) Purple or green? green
45) Blondes, brunettes? brunettes. or hairless

What time is it? 7:12
Nicknames: colls, cock, babydoll, colly
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? 18..i didnt have cake this year
Date that you regularly blow them out? july 3
* . . . W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . . *
Where do you want to live? chicago is nice
kind of job do you want? itd be nice to never work....but ill settle for the funeral direction thing
Do you want to get married? yes

* . . . W H I C H I S B E T T E R . . . *
2 doors or 4 (on a car): ummm im going to say 2 even though i hate trying to get out of the back of them
Coffee or ice cream:ice cream
Shampoo or conditioner?conditioner?
Bridges or tunnels? tunnels
One pillow or two? four

* . . . W O R D A S S O C I A T I O N . . . * (first thing that comes to mind)
Rock? paper, sissors
Green? tea
Crying? me
Peanut? butter
Roses? abuy me flowers
Summer? girls ( ohhh man i know someone else remembers that song!)
Winter? ice ice baby

* . . . F A V O R I T E S . . . *
Salad dressing? umm usually none
Color of socks? socks? like i wear socks? okay but ill say white
Toothpaste? colgate total
Food? i like soup too
Toothbrush? my pink spinny one
Drink? snapple iced tea
Character? dr. zoidburg

* . . . R A N D O M Q U E S T I O N S . . . *
When was your last hospital check-in? april?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? ummm married with a very nicely paying job and 3 dogs.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? no
What do you do most often when you are bored? sleep
Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away from you? ummmm.....danny
Are you open minded? yes

(1) Your gender: chick
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: nope
(4) want to be?: NOPE
(5) Age you act: sometimes
(6) Age you wish you were: 21
(7) Left/right/ambidextrous?:right
(8) Your living arrangement?: with my parents here, at school its the dorm and the house
(9) job?
(10) Tattoos?: i keep changing my mind
(11) Obsessions?: lots
(12) Do you speak another language?: none really fluently
(13) Have a favorite quote?: yes
(14) Do you have a webpage?: im on myspace.........

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it

(38) Do you live in the moment?: yes
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:yes
(40) Do you have any secrets?: YES
(41) Do you hate yourself? no
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: its fine
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: a few.....i try to stop
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: nice smile/ nice eyes
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: too bad pretty in pink is already taken
(46) What's your biggest fear?: fish
(47) Can you sing: nope
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:not really. i couldnt pull it off if i tried
(49) Are you a loner?: no
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: sure
(52) Are you a daredevil?: not really
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: sure
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: it kinda depends on who im with
(55) Have you got a ?: .......no.
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: im really polite.....i think thats both
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? i would try harder with some stuff
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?:love
(59) How do you vent?: throwing butter....seriously try it
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: i try
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: sure
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: sure
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: be your own person
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: my freckles
(65) And least?: my freckles
(66) Do you think you are good looking?:not super great but i could be worse
(67) Are you confident?: sure
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like? wouldnt it be great if i could say elle woods?
(69) Do people know how you feel?: not always
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?:occaisonally


(71) Smoke?: yes
(72) Do drugs?: no
(73) Read the newspaper?: usually
(74) Pray?: not so much
(75) Go to church? not so much
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: to try to figure out who they are, yes
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: boo boo
(78) Take walks in the rain?: not usually by choice
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them? i hate very few people
(80) Drive?: yes
(81) Like to drive fast?: eh...im not too great as it is


(82) Liked your voice?: it could be better
(83) Hurt yourself?: ummmm sure
(84) Been out of the country?: yes
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: im so obnoxious when i eat mustard
(86) Burped?: ......no ive been holding it for 19 years
(88) Been in love?: yes
(89) Done drugs?: kinda
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: nope
(92) Had a surgery?: no
(93) Ran away from home?: not really
(94) Played strip poker?: no
(95) Had sex:yes
(97) Been picked on?: probly
(98) Been on stage?: yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: ............. what?
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: many
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: sure
(108) Killed someone?: oh yeah me the murderess
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: no. thats just lame. know them for an hour at least first! okay and thats a joke.

mmmm lets go back:

james's grad party was on saturday. i was pissed i didnt get to go see dgb the night before, and then to top it off, ryan got home at 5 that morning, and overslept, forgetting to wake up to come and get me. it was okay. i looked damn goodand he apologized and then was all cutesy. so then we stopped at airware to get his 3 eyes. i waited in the car. then we went back to the house wherewe napped. when we woke up, it was beginning to drip, and mrs kane was freaking out. but it didnt really do anything but drip. so it was fine. so i met his familyand all their friends. his grandma liked me, so i think thats a good sign.so i was casually drinking of course, thenmrs kane suggested i have a glass of wine. then it all hit me and i got drunk kinda quick. then mrs kane and i got into a discussion about how we all knew that ryan and i were sleeping in seperate places that night just because she'd feel bad if my mom found out that we slept in the same bed. so after that, ryan and i snuck upstairs so i could change out of my dress and make out for a few minutes. so then his mom walks in and catches us. she was showing a friend around the house and thought some of his cousins were playing hide and seek in the room. she felt bad. we just laughed our asses off.so tehn we went back downstairs where i yelled at mr cooney and fell in love with braeden, sean and nicks 15 year old brother. greatest little kid ever! anyway it was fun. then i had a bad time falling asleep. so ryan stayed with me.

sunday i woke up too early and hung out with the dog. then ryan finally woke up. then we just kinda hung out, even though i really wanted to get to the zoo. so eventually we did, after we went to the mall to get more weapons for him. anyway it was so crowded there was no place to park. i was kinda mad, but then again i couldve told him to get his ass in gear earlier. so we went back to airware. i was dressed for the zoo, not the skinhead store so at first i was feelin a bit weird , then i didnt care. then we went to this amazing moroccan place down the street and i got lamb and it tasted sooo yummy and ryan got couscous on his lipand was completely oblivious for like 5 minutes. eating with him is great. then we came home.

so im so ready to leave work. cant stand it. i hate having to work weekends. i coulda gone down to school this weekend, but sadly cant. ARG TO WORK!!!!! oh well ill be there in like 20 days. cannot wait.

someone buy me flowers.

current mood: bouncy
current music: sublime~ april 29, 1992

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Monday, July 12th, 2004
12:37 pm - i'm way too into the simpson family and all of their associate friends
name = colleen marie lillian oconnor kolasa ( or cock if you prefer)
piercings = ears trag and thats all until i have $
tattoos = well if it call goes my way, by the end of the summer i will have the flamingo on my back, ladybug on my upper glute( not my ass), shamrock on my ankle, and claddagh symbol on the back of my neck. ( i know i know, but the neck one is tiny and my hairs usually down anyway)
height = almost 5'7
shoe size = 8 1/2-9 1/2
siblings = i have two
movie you watched = a little princess
movie you bought = secretary
song you listened to = pretty baby by vanessa carlton
cd you bought = coheed....like in february
cd you listened to = my depressing mix full of counting crows and tom petty no longer skips!
person that's called you = brian last night
you have a crush on some 1 = yes
you wish you could live somewhere else =that wasnt my house? hell yes!
you think about suicide = not so much
you believe in online dating = hey i guess it works for some
others find you attractive = possibly? i guess as long as the one that counts finds me attractive i'm good
you want more piercings = yes.but only like one
you like roller coasters = not so much
you write in cursive or print = both. sometimes both in the same word

long distance relati. = im for them, if both parties feel like putting in the effort. otherwise one just ends up looking like an ass
people = ......im....for.....the people
smoking = i must stop

ever cried over a boy = waaaay too many times
ever cried over a girl = yeah, but more like "grrrrr why am i fighting with my friend?" rather than "why does she make me feel this way?"....ya know?

ever been in a fist fight = no

shampoo do you use = herbal essences fruit fusions and aussie 3 minute miracle deeeeep conditioning
shoes do you wear = lots......mostly flip flops in the summer
of times you have been in love? = twice
of times you have had your heart broken?= once
of hearts you have broken? = i'd say none......but i most likely broke the heart of the person who broke mine
pretty = no
funny= ive heard...sometimes its not intentional though
hot = jesus no...although it is quite warm in here
friendly = id like to think so
amusing = everyone is amusing. except for like two people
loveable = sure
caring = absolutely

these are a few of my favorite things
11 letter word= assassinate
Actor/actress = the wilson brothers/ and.......i dunno im liking kirsten dunst more now that she actually was pretty good in spidey 2
Cartoon = simpsons...futurama...family guy.....fairly oddparents
Cereal = cheerios..plain...no milk
Chewing gum = orbit wintermint
color(s) = pink black periwinkle
Day of the week =friday
Least favorite day = monday
Jewelry = my claddagh ring. i only take it off for work and i feel weird without it
Summer/Winter = both?

[Person who last.. ]
Slept in your bed = me.....i could sleep though...thats why im down here
Saw you cry = ryan... i felt retarded
Made you cry = myself. i cry for no reason sometimes. well i guess theres a reason. i just think too much
Yelled at you = umm i think brian

[Have you ever.. ]
Said "I love you" and meant it? yes
Kept a secret from everyone? yes
Cried during a movie = yes.....not recently though
Cried during a TV show= probly.not that i can remember
Been on stage = yes
Been to New York = no
Been to California = yes
Been to Europe = not yet
Wished you were another gender=maybe for like a day. and id most likely spend the entire day getting it on. just to know what it was like for guys.....and i know im not the only one who thinks this way
What time is it now? = 1:54

[This or That? ]
Apples or bananas? = apples....although now i do have a craving for a fried pb & b sandwich. its the elvis in me
Spring or Autumn? =both

What are you gonna do after you finish this? = go to sleep. but most likely before ill have to drink something. i wish it was a beer. it will most likely be coke or milk though.....damn
You bored? = eh...its 2 am .......what do you expect?
Last thing smelled? = garlic. i cant get the smell off. and its kinda pissing me off.

i did this like a few days ago and never posted. so now its posted.

my post just got deleted so now im going to be really vaugue.
saturday work= bogus because the fridge went out and dough exploded on me. and michael didnt show up and brittani quit and now i will most likely not get ska fest weekend off. blah!
met a private investigator on the train. well he works for the firm. we walked together until he got to his building. fun guy.
creepy old indian man with a bike came up to me. almost sprayed tear gas at him, but decided hitting hm with my big ass purse would be better, being that tear gas spreads rather quickly and i had big shoes that i would break my leg in trying to run in them.

i slept more than anything at ryans. i woke up to go to lunch and watch groundhog day. seriously....sleeping in his room...sleeping on the couch......i was just sleeping everywhere.

then he dropped me off and basically went upstairs to sleep. with boo boo. he fits under my arm perfectly.

now im bored. out of my mind.

current mood: mellow
current music: ryan cabrera~ on the way down

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Thursday, July 8th, 2004
6:34 pm - now lets see what colleen can recall from the weekend
so this is how im going to break it down.

i woke up being all nineteen and whatnot. its not a big deal. i kinda keep forgetting. i guess its just one of those b-days thats kinda like "eh". i mean it'd matter if i was in carbondale what with the whole being able to "legally" go to the bars. not like i didnt do it when i was 18, but now its legal. eh. anyway my dad worked and my mom and brothers went to the movies so i basically was by myself all morning. so i took my sweet ass time getting ready,and danced around my house in a tank top and undies to britney and christina while getting ready. hey it was my birthday and if i want to dance around in my undies to britney then god damn it i'm going to! so ryan and bob call telling me theyre getting on the highway then so i'm thinking "Sweet ive still got like 40 minutes". yeah that didnt happen because as im in my parents room straightening my hair ( with the britney still cranked) ( oh and by the way i WAS dressed at this point) i hear the dog starting to walk around all fast. so i walk out of the room i run right into ryan and screamed. this was like 15 minutes after he had called. so anyway bob ryan and i went and got gas in indiana and went by some of bobs old friend's house. they live right there on wehatever that street brainard turns into when it becomes indiana. it was kinda funny/frightening. apparently theyve murdered nazis and cut off their nazi tattoos before they hung/ burnded them alive. i dont wish to meet these people. then we got wendys, got stuck in blue island for like 20 minutes b/c of bogus traffic, then made it to westmont.

so then we met barb and andrew at the grand opening of the westmont skatepark, where the closet squatters ( bobs brother danny's band) were playing. so theyre good. i met inga. she seemed nice. definitely would be good for bob. i'm going to keep my fingers crossed. anyway i kinda felt pissy all the sudden so i went and sat in the car. and boy was that a good idea because it started to POUR! so bob ryan and bobs dad all ran to the car and then we went and got drinks for later. bobs dad is awesome. so then we went back to bobs and the and all tehse kids where there. so after all of them dried off and plans were made, we ended up at bennigans because it was some other kids b-day too and he wanted to go out. so there were eleven of us. and the younger ones almost got us kicked out. ryan threatened to belt them all, and bob called his mom, asking for advice on how to handle them. then all the waiters came out and obnoxiously sang for that kids b-day. i was glad non one told them it was mine, even though ryan asked if he should mention it was mine too. i was VERY GLAD. so then we went back to bobs and i was still in a pissy mood. so then we hearded up to ryans.

and when we got there monika, jeff, ally, jim, and dawn were already there. i went upstairs to lie down for a bit because i was tired, then came down an hour later and the party was basically in full swing. i got really pissed at ryan for not coming upstairs and getting me. i dunno what my problem was. then it was all good. some highlights:

all the girls and i hung out and decided to give the guys all really hard times for no reason. i think the best part was when we all decided we all wanted tiffanys and if we didnt get it there were going to be problems. five girls yelling across the room "we get tiffanys or you dont get any" was awesome.
all the guys ended up taking off their shirts. and then they never put them back on.
bob told me he loved me like a sister.
john made me do a b-day shot with him.
monika yelled at ryan for not making me cake, so she took all the girls outside and we lit sparklers in honor of me.
jeff told me happy b-day 37 times.
ryan licked me. i dont know why.
i told sherman that if he pissed me off i would kick him out of the house and i didnt care HOW long he knew james, i would still kick him out.
nick initiated "happy birthday" to me and i had 20 something drunks screaming/singing to me.
james called me "cholera". tha made up for him throwing out my sandwich.
i passed out at like 130. well i went upstairs. then i felt i was going to be sick. and i was. so i took care of it ( i almost made it to the bathroom) and monika, who was so gone she could barely stand, kept asking if i needed help. then jeff came upstairs and wanted to see. then i went downstairs and told ryan what happened. then i walked right back upstairs and passed out.
he came upstairs at like 430. i was still sleeping the first ten minutes he was up there with me. he flet bad but i was responding with mumbles so he just assumed i was awake and game.
then later i was having trouble breathing and he ended up grabbing me and yelling at me about pistols for about ttwn minutes. he had this scarey as hell face and i kinda freaked out. then in the middle of yelling at me he looked like "whats going on?" he was dreaming. it scared the hell outta me. but its all good.
after that i couldnt sleep to well so i kept going downstairs to talk to amanda and jim, who never slept, and then id wake up ryan. it was a fun way to not sleep.

i finally slept in the morning and i woke up and ryan brought me lunch in bed. then we took a shower and watched finding nemo with bob. then he left. then we went to johns for his party. his dad is awesome. then we went to my aunt irenes and watched the game with my family. my uncles love ryan and annemarie asked him if he had a crush on me. it was the cutest thing ever. so we hung out there for awhile, i had taco salad which made my day, and ryan had a burger that he accidentally put hot sauce on. ral nice. then later on we went back to johns and hung out some more. my stomach hurt still so neither of us drank. jim and kim showed up and jeff and ally came back from loopfest. it was fun just hanging out and talking. as we were leaving i introduced myself to kim, and i was super sweet. i like jim and im glad ryan and he are cool again, so i figure why not be nice to her too. so then we went back to ryans and watched tv with james for a bit, tehn crashed.

woke up late. went shopping for ryans hammer holder, and i bought undies at vs. then we had lunch. then we came home and ended up at target developing my weekend pictures. then we came home and went for a quick walk before he left. i didnt want him to leave. i cried. i felt retarded. it sucked having to leave him after the whole weekend. ic ant wait till im back at school.

ryan and i had some good talks this weekend. its nice to know where we stand. i lurve him.
it was a good b-day. here's proof.

current mood: hot
current music: stand by me~ pennywise

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Friday, July 2nd, 2004
10:25 am - like i need another one of these. but its too g-d funny
1) When you're kissing your boyfriend, what's the thing that's usually on your mind at the time?: i don't deserve this
2) Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?: closed. but you hafta peek sometimes
3) Do you enjoy it when he kisses you?: yes
4) When was the first time he kissed you?: the first night we met. so i guess that means i hafta tell the story.

jackie came down to visit so we all went to stix. jackie wanted to leave to find an after party so begrudgingly we did. as we were walking to the car, chinch saw a friend of hers who invited us to an after party a block away. it was at the emo house and it was basically all radio station kids. we're dressed for the bar and theyre in tees and jeans. whatever. so i go up to the bar, order my screwdriver, and he came up next to me and ordered his rum and coke with the last of the rum. we said something or other to eachother but neither of us can remember. i walked away. about 5 minutes later i lit up a cigarette in the doorawy because i needed to put my cup down on the table. he walked up to me and told me people werent supposed to smoke in the house, but he liked that i was a rule breaker, so he'd smoke with me. we talked for like a half hour in the doorway, then we moved outside for air. talked more.he was still drinking his drink, ( they were big cups) i was thinking about whether i would end up kissing him, when he says "you know after i finish this drink, i think i'm going to have to kiss you" so i smiled, and he smiled, and said "hell i cant wait that long" threw his cup off the porch, pulled me in and kissed me. wow.

5) Ever thought about having sex with him?: yes
6) Have you?: yes
7) If not, do you want to?: already stated
8) Has he ever tried to pressure you in to having sex: nope
9) Has he ever tried to pressure you in to ANYTHING?: nope we're pretty much game for the same things
10) Is he gentle with you?: yes. and he knows when i dont want him to be
11) Does he intimidate you in any way?: not me personally. but when he gets into skinhead mode, i wouldnt wanna pis him off. its cute the way he can be all "were going to beat that motherf-er down" all while hes holding me on his lap being all cute
12) Do you intimidate him in any way (at least, if you have no idea, do you think you might)?: like i could intimidate anyone
13) Is he caring?: very much so
14) Does he ever belittle you?: never
15) Do you find him attractive?: yes
16) Sexy?: yes
17) Cute/adorable?: very much so
18) Does he turn you on?: yes
19) What's the one thing you like most about him?: the way he can adapt to my moods. i really like that
20) Is there one thing you would change about him?: well no one can be perfect, but the other day he couldve gotten me a beer when he got one for himself. or at least asked if i wanted one
21) What does he do to show you affection in public?: holds my hand, hugs me, kises me. we're so retarded in public
22) Does he kiss you all the time in public?: well not constantly. but hes never embarrassed about it
23) Do you like it or prefer to keep it private?: i like it. no ones ever told us to get a room, so i'm assuming no one else cares
24) Is he a good kisser?: yes
25) Does he tease you?: no thats my job
27) Does he seem like he really enjoys being with you?: yes
29) Is he romantic?: in little ways, and that means a lot
30) Would you rather want a kiss or a hug from him?: both
31) What's your favorite way to stand with him?: with my hands on his chest and his around me
32) Sit with him?: depends on the seating area. on the couch i usually lean or lay down on him. otherwise its just regular sitting
33) Lay with him?: with my arm laying on his chest, holding his shoulder, his arm in the crook of my neck
34) What's your favorite way to hold him?: that way
35) Does he like holding you?: yes
36) How/in what ways?: as long as i'm near him ( thats what he says)
37) Which one is your favorite?: he and i are in agreement. but i like the way we are just before we fall asleep
38) Whenever he's not around, what's the first thing you think about when he enters your thoughts?: how great it feels waking up next to him
39) Ever think negative stuff about him?: no
40) If you two are having problems, or are far apart or something, do you ever wish you'd never met him?: absolutely not
41) Do you love him?: yes
42) Do you respect him?: yes
43) Do you like his friends?: i adore his friends especially mouse.
44) Is he with you right now?: no hes most likely sleeping. he went out with bob for an hour or so after he dropped me off so he didnt get home until 530
45) When's the last time you saw him?: 2 a.m
46) How long have you been together?: little more than 3 months
47) When's the next time you'll see him?: tomorrow. he's taking me to the fireworks and throwing me a b-day party
48) Does he love you?: yes
49) How long do you think you two will go out for?: hoping a long time
50) Do you want to marry him?: i suppose i could

The Easy Stuff:
Name of Significant other: ryan patrick kane
Status (dating, serious, testing the water, married, on a break, etc.): seriously dating
How long have u been going out?: little more than three months
Who asked who out?: i asked himwhat we were. he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend. so him
What attracted you to this person?: he's cared since the beginning and it hasnt dropped off at all
When did you first meet them?: end of march at his friends party
How long were you "Crushing" (liking) the person b4 you started dating?: well we started dating within three days of meeting so.......i guess
What is "your" song?: i dont know if we have one. we both have a song that reminds us of the other, but the first song we danced to was pennywise's cover of "stand by me" one day in his room. it was so random and sweet hearing him sing the song into my ears. god im such a dork
Do you like to kiss this person?: yes
Do you kiss a lot?: pretty much


On them -
Colour?: black
Outfit?: he looks good all skinhead-ed out but when he wore his dickies to ron of japan, he just looked so yummy.
Physical feature?: his eyes and smile

Together -
Place to hangout?: whever. we always seem to find steak and sake, but just hanging out in his kitchen is fun
Movie to watch?: at school we used to do this thing where wed watch the same movie like 3 days in a row. we watched back to the future a lot.
Food to eat?: bastard always makes me eat. and he tries to be all cute and feed it to me. again we are so retarded.
Music to listen to?: we listen to a lot of ska, punk, oi, but yesterday i made him listen to ludacris. we were driving in the meijer parking lot both singing roll out. it was ridiculous

Questions that require a little more thought:
Do you consider them your best friend?: yes
How serious are you about this person? (ie. one night stand, summer fling, longterm, marriage, kids, etc.): hopefully long term. we joke about kids. they'll most likely have green eyes, because we both do, and really good eyebrows, because we both do, and either wavy brown hair ( like we do) or bright red hair ( like his brother and many people in my family). and they will play hockey.
Do you ever get jealous? Honestly?: sometimes i'd like to see him more. f-ing northsider. but i'll see him every day in school and i'm moving in with him next may so i guess i can wait.
If you could promise this person anything, what would it be? Why?: we talked about it last night. i promised him something and i hope he knows i was completely serious
On a scale of 1 - 10, How much do you trust them?: probly a 10. we both know quite a bit about eachother and eachothers families
What do you most want to get out of this relationship?: i've already gotten it. he taught me how it feels to really be loved by someone
What do you enjoy most about your relationship?: knowing he's around
Do you like them or love them?: i love him. hell, i lurve him!
Are you scared to say you love him/her?: no
Have you ever told them that?: yes
Did you mean it?: yes
Could you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?: it could happen. i guess anythings possible
Even if your too young, or not ready, is your significant other --- Marriage material? First time material? Kids material?: he's all the above and more
Most romantic thing you have ever done for this person?: visiting him in the hospital after "dating" for only 2 days
Who is the most important person in your life right now?: he's important. he means a lot
Say anything... meaningful, something you've been holding back, wishes, hopes.. whatever!: we dont hold anything back. i'll always tell him it evntually

What is your current boyfriends name? ryan...wasnt this already on here?
What does he look like? 6'0 shaved head, green eyes, great smile, barrell chested, three tattoos...plus hes got a cute booty
How long have you gone out? again this is already on here but 3 months
Do you love him? yes
Do you love him but are not in love with him? nope
What is your favorite thing about him physically? the smile and wink. always gets me
What is your favorite thing about his personality? he's never embarrassed to act teh same way he does in public as he does in private ( i mean to an extent. you knwo what i mean)
If you could change anything about him physically, what would it be? i love him the way he is. he's always bitching about his weight but i love his body.
If you could change anything about his personality, what would it be? nothing really although sometimes he gets agitated in traffic, but i scratch his neck and tell him to calm down and it helps a little

-Stuff He Does For You-
Does he seem to enjoy kissing you? yes
Do you kiss in public? yes
Do you enjoy kissing him? yes
What is your favorite way to kiss him and why? when i havent seen him in a few days, and he just pulls me in and its all "old hollywood, sweeping me off my feet" style
What is your favorite thing that he does to you waist up? as long as he knows thats all that matters
Do you have a horny spot? yes
Anything weird that you enjoy ? (sucking toes, licking ears, ect.) yes
Anything kinky? .........yes

-Stuff You Do for Him-
What is your favorite thing to do to him waist up? kiss his ear
Does he have a horny spot? if so, what is it? ear..definitely the ear
Have you let him go up your shirt? Do you like it, dislike it, or does it even matter? yes...all i'm saying
What is your favorite thing to do to him waist down? this shouldve been friends only. or better yet, private.
Have you given him head? Did you enjoy it? Are you spits or swallows? yes
Does he have any weird things he likes you to do? Anything Kinky? yes

Is he sexy? yes
What is his sexiest feature? the smile

Do you like his...
hair? or lacktherof? yes
eyes? theyre green. glasses or not, theyre still very sexy
lips? i love looking at his lower lip while he sleeps.
pecs? his chest is huge. his ribs are so big its insane. i love it
abs? i love kissing his stomach. or doing other things with it. you dont need to know about it though
back? i havent had much time with his back. but after last week i need to spend some more time there
shoulders? i love his freckly shoulders. when tehy get covered up with more tattoos i will be sad
butt? its so cute. he's ticklish there. but dont tell him i told you.
legs? theyre good
Feet? i dont really have an opinion. but theyre his so theyre great

-Scentimental Stuff-
When did you first meet? at the party. read the story. im not saying it again
Was it love at first site or did you think he was rude, weird, gay, ect. wel....we were both drunk. by the end of the night and the "colleens lost keys" fiasco we had sobered up. but i thought he was amazingly sweet.
What was the nicest gift he ever gave you? he's held my hand when i needed him to
Nicest place he ever took you? we've gone to some pretty good japanese places with his parents a few times. thats always fun. i adore his mom.
What was the worst gift? (if any) umm none?
Do you think he loves you? yes
When was the first time he said he loved you? besides the three drunk times i kinda brushed off, it was about a month ago. he called while at the pool hall, and just said "i needed to call to say i love you" i cried.
First kiss? night we met
First French kiss? night we met
When was the first time that you knew you loved him? when i saw his face when i couldnt breathe

If you havent had sex already, do you plan to lose your virginity to him? not applicable
Will he lose his to you? again not applicable
Will you wait until you are married, or just whenever it feels right? it felt right
Do you plan on marrying him? it could happen
Do you think he plans on marrying you? not sure. he's a 20 year old guy, i doubt its number one priority. but we casually talk.....i dunno ask him.

current mood: pensive
current music: vindicated~ dashboard confessionals

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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
2:16 pm - ryans dad will be upset. he wants boys to carry on the kane family hockey tradition
Colleen and Ryan
  • Will conceive a pair of adult girls.
  • Elect to almost elope for the foreseeable future.
  • Harbour intense love for each other.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

current mood: okay
current music: rancid~ who wouldve thought

(comment on this)

12:42 am - blah!
Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1. i get pissy easily
2. i screech
3. i rarely give my opinion
4. i wont eat your food even if you force me

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1. a car
2. another dog
3. tiffanys dragonfly earrings
4. a beer

Name Four Scents You Love:
1.cocoa butter
2. some kind of shaving cream ( if i knew the brand id tell you)
3. cookies
4. dkny( which sadly is discontinued)

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1. socks with capris
2. pants with pleats ( i mean lets make my hips bigger PLEASE)
3. frosted lipstick
4. pigtails

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1. skinheads
2. saturday
3. sleeping
4. smoking

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1. ate an oreo
2.talked to my roomate
3. went to work
4. played in mozzarella cheese

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
1. cigarettes
2. chicken mcnuggets
3. gas
4. train ticket

Name Four Bands/Groups/Singers Most People Don't Know You Like:
1. judge dredd
2. britney
3. cursive
4. skrewdriver
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. water
2. lemonade iced tea
3. milk
4. beer

Last Song You Sang?
the mars bar song

Last Person You Hugged?

Last Thing You Laughed At?
he just burned a spider. hes retarded

Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?
two seconds ago

Last Time You Cried?
like three weeks ago

What's In Your CD Player?
a random mix. right now imlistening to the adverts

What Color Socks Are You Wearing?
ummm none

What's Under Your Bed?

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
830...then i went back to bed at 945 and woke up at one

Current Hair?
messy bun thing

Current Clothes?
cargo shorts and green tee
Current Annoyance?
needing nicotine

Current Desktop Picture?
conan obrien

Current Worry?
i will run out of money by the weekend

Current Hate?
working tomorrow. hoping its slow so i can leave early

Last CD You Bought?
coheed. like in march

Least Favorite Place To Be?
somewhere thats sticky and uncomfortable

If You Could Play An Instrument?

Favorite Color?

Do You Believe In An Afterlife?

How Tall Are You?

Favorite Season?
all for different reasons

Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:
my aunt patty

Favorite Day.
of the week? or in general?

Where Would You Like To Go?
right now? to westmont

Type A Line You Remember From Any Book:
i am a princess. all girls are ~ a little princess

A Random Lyric:
who would've thought that dreams come true? and who wouldve thought i ended up with you?

current mood: giggly
current music: the stranglers~ get a grip on yourself

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Monday, June 28th, 2004
11:31 am - so my entire entry just got erased. now im not going into detail just for spite.
work is good. people are good, brandon is the best i think. paycheck was sweet.

boys are good. ryan and i are retarded homebodies. except for when we go out with bob, who by the way needs a leash. but friday all we did was sleep and then we went to dinner with mrs kane and james where we drank massive amounts of green river. then we went back to sleep and woke up to watch the end ( the last hour) of return of the king. then we went and got mrs kane a coconut cream pie from bakers square and we ate it and watched dane cook. fun times.

saturday is my b-day. and im not working. and mr. & mrs kane are going to the cottage. we will be having another party will the whiskey will flow freely and hopefully no underage punk kids throw up all over the bathroom.

brians b-day was saturday. i made him dinner and he wasnt even hungry. then i threw a tantrum and made him take me to steak and shake b/c i wanted a milkshake. he did. and then we made fun of the high schoolers who were sitting behind us calling their friends and telling them to come over because they had "seven beers"!

i think thats it. someone come over and help me clean.

current mood: pissed off
current music: the clash ~*~ white riot

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Saturday, June 19th, 2004
12:21 pm - i do surveys because it keeps me from actually updating. ...maybe i should do that too
_______What is your favorite_______

1. gum: eclipse wintermint
2. restaurant: i dunno but god damn i want panera right now
3. drink: iced tea
4. season: i like them all for different reasons
5. type of weather: sunny and warm...but i like cloudy and drizzley sometimes too
6. emotion: giddily retarded
7. thing to do on a half day: ummm go back to sleep
8. late-night activity: phone calls or just sitting around and chain smoking with fun people
9. sport: baseball and hockey
10. city: chicago
11. store: express

_______When was the last time you_______

12. cried: two wednsdays ago
13. played a sport: drawing a blank
14. laughed: yesterday
15. hugged someone: yesterday
16. kissed someone: yesterday
17. felt depressed: maybe like 4 months
18. felt overworked: every time i go to work
19. faked sick: like last year most likely
20. lied: i was selective in what i said yesterday to ryans mom. she wouldnt be happy if she knew we were going to jays to get inked

_______What was the last_______

21. word you said: "nothin really" in response to my ma's question "so what are you doing?"
22. thing you ate: a waffle
23. song you listened to: dropkick murphys~ the new american way
24. thing you drank: diet root beer last night
25. place you went to: besides my house. jays house
26. movie you saw: carrie was on last night
27. movie you rented: chasing liberty. havent rented in awhile

_______Who was the last person you_______

28. hugged:ryan
30. kissed: ryan
31. danced with: ryan
32. shared a secret with: good question
33. had a sleepover with: ryan like last week
34. called: marcus
35. went to a movie with: brian
36. saw: my ma
37. were angry with: i seldom get angry
38. couldn't take your eyes off: ryan. yesterday. he makes me feel so retarded sometimes. in the good way
39. obsessed over: ummm no one?

_______Have you ever_______

40. danced in the rain: we were drunk but it was still cute.
41. kissed someone: yes
42. done drugs: eh
43. drank alcohol: yes
44. partied 'til the sun came up: you know it
45. had a movie marathon: a great cure for hangovers
46. gone too far on a dare: most likely
47. spun until you were immensely dizzy: i sit in the swivel chair and spin till i can barely stand when i get up. great times
48. taken a survey quite like this before: its been a few days

_______My life_______
49. name: collen
50. gender: chickie
51. birthday: july 3
52. relationship: lurver
53. occupation: skinhead's girl and sausage queen....plus the school thing


55. i'm feeling: energetic
56. i'm listening to: pinhead gunpowder
57. i'm doing: a survey
58. i'm talking to:red online
59. i'm craving: some cookies
60. i'm thinking of: whats going on the rest of the weekend
61. i'm hating: whats going on the rest of the weekend


62. love is: a retardedly great feeling
63. my first love: brian
64. my current love: ryan
65. love or lust: love....you can be lusty in love though
66. best love song: faithfully by journey
67. is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time:in certain ways i suppose
68. when love hurts, i: become a huge bitch
69. is there such thing as love at first sight?: kinda
_______Opposite sex_______

70. turn ons: confidence, smile, the feeling of absolute comfortable-ness
71. turn offs: ignorance and indifference
72. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: thats a gigantic no
73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: short as possible
74. what is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you?: act the sae way he does in public with me as he does in private.
75. where do you go to meet new people?: right now i dont need anyone else. but usually i find people when im not looking
76. are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?: no

_______Picky picky_______

77. dog or cat: woof
78. short or long hair:in the middle
79. sunshine or rain: sun
80. hugs or kisses: both
81. summer or winter: summer
82. written letters or e-mails: any type of mail is fun
83. playstation or nintendo: atari
84. car or motorcycle: car
85. house party or club: both but house parties have a more intimate feeling
86. sing or dance: i cant do either. but i guess dancing
87. freak or slow dance:slow


88. how are you today?: i've been better. kinda wish it was time for school again
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: gray booty shorts
90. what shirt are you wearing right now? ryans dropkick murphys shirt
91. what does your hair look like at the moment?: back and up and messy
92. what song are you listening to right now?: paint it black
93. how is the weather right now? kinda cool....actually lots of cool
94. who was last person i talked to on the phone?: ryan called when he got home last night. he left at 11:30, got home at 2
95. last dream i can remember?: lsat night i had a dream we were going to see dave chapelle and kim catrall was parking cars and elaine from seinfeld was sitting next to me talking about mipple piercings.

dont ask.

this took longer than i though. guess ill just really update later.

current mood: cheerful
current music: green day ~*~ waiting

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Friday, June 11th, 2004
11:27 pm
001. name : colleen
002. nicknames : colls, colly, cleen, cock, babydoll,
003. sex : yes please ( sorry i couldnt help it)
004. birthday : july 3
005. candles : 19
006. star sign : cancer
007. place of birth : oak lawn il
008. current residence: chicago for the summer
009. hair colour : dark brown....its kinda the color of coffee...that might be b/c i rinse it in coffee...just maybe
010. eye color : green
011. height /weight : 5'7...thats all you need to know
012. writing hand : righty

013. do you bite your nails : nope
016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : i never really tried till now.....and the answer is no
017. can you blow smoke rings: no...but then again ive only attempted when i was drinking
018. can you blow spit bubbles : i guess
019. can you cross your eyes: yes
020. colored hair: well........i dunno...i guess you could say yes
021. tattoos and where : jay will laugh at me
022. piercing and where: ears and trag
023. do you make your bed daily : at school yes, here hell no
024. what goes on first bra or underwear : undies
025. which shoe goes on first : ive never really paid attention. whichever is closest to me
036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone: not that i remember.
037. how much money is usually in your wallet? : right now its 4 bucks....plus the plastic
038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : my claddagh ring and my trag ring
039. whats sexiest on a guy : a really big smile
041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : i rarely have this problem. im great with time management
042. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : little bit o both
043. how many cereals are in your cabinet : maybe 5. i dont eat cereal so it doesnt really matter does it?
044. what utensils do you use eating pizza : usually just my hands....sometimes knife and fork
045. do you cook : i have become a grilled cheese master

046. how often do you brush your teeth : twice a day
047. how often do you shower/bathe: once a day.....at school it ends up being more sometimes....cuz the shower is nice sometimes...wink wink....
048. how long do these showers last : depends on what needs to be done..wink wink...
049. hair drying method : depends on my time. i think it looks better air dryed but sometimes there just isnt enough time
050. do you paint your nails : my toes always
051. do you swear : like a sailor
052. do you mumble to yourself : not often
053. do you spit in public : no
054. do you pee in the shower: ew ew ew
055. whats in your cd player : coheed, my ghetto princess mix, and i think the other one is brand new. my portable one has my sappy love song cd
056. person you talk most on the phone with: ryan
057. what color is your bedroom : carribean blue
058. do you use an alarm clock : not at home no. i have my ma yell up to me
059. name one thing or person you're obsessed with: lipgloss
060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : no
061. ever sunbathed in the nude: no...theres no fence in my yard
062. window seat or aisle : window
063. whats your sleeping position:usually my side with my arm flung over ryan
064. what kind of bed do you like : ummm.......im not too picky with this subject. i can sleep most anywhere
065. in hot weather do you use a blanket : sometimes
066. do you snore : when i first start going to sleep, yes
067. do you sleepwalk : no
068 do you talk in your sleep : mumble is more like it
069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal : yes. dont laugh at me fucker
070. how about the light on : no. im anti light
071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : my headphones sometimes

072. had sex : too long! no really, dont listen to me.
073. were kissed: monday
074. watched bambi: probly like 8 years
075. cried : a little on wed but it was "omg im so happy"crying
076. talked on the phone : like 2 hours ago
077. read a book : i was reading anne frank the other day....i dunno dont laugh at me fucker
078. punched someone : the onely one i punch is brian

079. is music important to you : yes
080. do you sing? : sadly sometimes. but you shouldnt listen
081. what instruments do you play? play? or play well?
082. what do you think of Eminem : creativeness+ not to damn bad looking= colleen likes

083. pop music : sadly
084. rock music : sadly
085. punk music : sadly...well some of it. gc blows dogs for quarters
086. rap music : sadly
087. hip-Hop/RB : sadly
088. country : sadly.....okay you try going to school where i do!
089. jazz : somewhat..cass made me appreciate it more
090. classical : somewhat
091. new age : what does this actually constitute?
092. what is one band/singer you like that no one has heard of: skrewdriver.....if you dont mind the white supremacy thing, theyre really good. just dont sing the "white power" parts very loud, and youre all set!
[ Current Clothes ] black tank, black scrubs
[ Current Mood ] little bit sleepy, not wanting to wake up so early but at the sme time giddy
[ Current Music ] happy campers news at 11
[ Current Taste ] .. ....spit
[ Current Make-up ] absolutely none
[ Current Hair] pony tail with bangs all falling
[ Current Annoyance] the early waking up
[ Current Smell ] dog food..its right behind me
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] sleepin....or doing my nails
[ Current Desktop Picture] a kurt halsey drawing
[ Current Favorite Artist ] i wanna see dr. ringding!
[ Current Favorite Group ] coheed

[ Current Book you're reading ] ummm i guess the ann frank one since technically i started reading it...although ive read it like 35 times
[ Current CD in CD Player ] this was on here already
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] rainy day red
[ Current Refreshment ] man this spit is tastey
[ Current Worry ] tons......but when you consider how i get when i drink a lot and considering the party tomorrow is open bar, i'm really worried i might make an ass of myself as i did when i first met dan....you've all heard that story. oh yeah.

current mood: sore
current music: slc punk soundtrack~*~ never promised you a rose garden

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Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
4:04 pm - and to think that before, i laughed at the idea of skinheads fighting about me.
i am terrified of meeting the 77's.


on a lighter note, my hair is darker. so is my skin.

it is wonderful.

current mood: nervous
current music: twista~*~ overnight celebrity

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Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
1:09 pm - i think i o'd on msg.
i would just like to say that having a sweet not embarrassed of me boyfriend is wonderful.

so we went from my michaelenes house back to glenview and got there just in time for james's graduation. so james is a high school grad. sometimes i forgot he wasnt already cuz he looks much older than 18. its weird were the same age and he could pass for mid twenties. so he graduated. then we went to ron of japan (the place where you sit with people you dont know and your chef cooks your dinner like right in front of you and its awesome) for dinner and it was crazy amounts of good and i had really good steak and i ate shrimp with egg sauce, and the best fried rice ever. so we sat with this older couple and their grandson and the woman was this biological and organic scientist for the government. it was extremely strange and yet entertaining. she was talking to me about forensics and james about college and ryan about the army ( i said if he enlists ill knife him just like a dirty hippie) and mrs kane about france b/c she was stationed right near mrs. kanes mother lived. crazy.

but the best part was the ride there where we pulled up next to this really sweet classic car ( i forget what kind) and the driver is drinking a mixed drink. mr kane laughed his ass off then rolled down the window and asked for a sip. the man and his wife looked somewhat offended and mrs kane floored it away from the light.man his parents are awesome.

then i got dizzy and had a migrane and apparently ryan thinks i fainted when we were taking a nap. i dunno i obviously dont remember. anyway we woke up at 11 and went out and had a backyard party with james and a few of his friends. we drank a bottle of jameson, which i discovered is magically delicious when you mix it with 7 up. then i got bit up like crazy and went inside and crawled into bed with ryans old teddy bear that he lets me sleep with. but then ryan came in twenty minutes later and i figured "teddy bear or the real thing?". so the teddy bear went on the night stand.

then we slept till noon, came up with a plan to run away to mexico, ate lots of hummus, watched the last samuri with james, then grilled.

then we saw deer in burr oak cemetary.

then we watched the little richard movie while the rest of my family played scrabble. then we watched calgary lose. but its okay.

then we took a walk to smoke and we went on the swings at the park. and he got off his to push me. it was so god damn cute. then he left and i immediately fell asleep.

i need a job so damn badly. but i dont wanna start till next wed b/c of all the fun times that will happen this weekend when the shaws are here.

so hungry.

current mood: hot
current music: blink 182~*~ peggy sue

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Sunday, June 6th, 2004
12:08 am - this usta be on my info page...but i moved it here. sue me.

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

ummm....yeah thats a lie

Trading Cards
Free Account Edition
User Number: 268790
Date Created:june 5
Number of Posts: 13?

not an easy one to describe....cuz colleen like changes every few days ( just like her hair.) cuz some days shes all cute and girlie, then shes all like wishing she was hardcore, then she gets all emo. its like dealing w/ 20 peeps in 1 person!
Strengths: ridiculous amounts of cuteness, sweet enough to give you a toothache
Weaknesses: getting flowers (not sayin what kind.....cuz wheres the fun in that?), boys, when boys make her cheesy eggs for breakfast
Special Skills: makes kick ass cupcakes....and other skillz...that wont be mentioned here
Weapons: the knife she'll use to slash your tires, squeaking , and her lucky 13 rich bitch crew- you wish you were one of them.
Quote to Live By: Conner MacManus: How far are we going to take this? Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?

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current mood: excited
current music: donfrio giving me a shout out on ncc radio.oh yeah.

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Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
10:45 pm - nigga wha?
i want brass knuckles.

i mean, cant you see me as this little ghetto princess skinhead who's ready to jump people at the drop of a hat? yeah i cant either.

i just did something i never thought i would, especially considering who was at my house.

oh yeah.

current mood: giddy
current music: 50 cent~*~ many men

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1:35 pm - wasting time till kane gets here
[my name is]: cocky
[in the morning i am]: sad waking up alone. then pissed that i hafta get out of bed.
[love is]: the best when everyone tells you that its obvious youre in love. thats the way it should be
[i dream about]: key lime pie. funny thing is i dont even like it.

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]:voice and mouth
[last person u slow danced with]: ryan on thursday. how we managed to slowdance to brassknuckle boys is beyond me, but anytime a guy can twirl you to oi, in front of his friends no less, is adorable.

-W H O-
[do you have a crush on?]: irish skinheads whoo whoo!
[easiest to talk to]: all of my friends are really awesome to talk to.

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: marcus i still adore you. even though you told ryan about my "permission to come aboard" undies.

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: "i'm on my way baby" ~*~ ryan
[hugged]: my gram yesterday. it was her birthday. 77 whoo whoo!
[you instant messaged]:donfrio my favorite playa
[you laughed with]: brendan. something about his hair.

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: eh........i guess but id be extremely PISED.
[what's your favorite food?]: right now i really want panera. BAD.
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: strawberries or kiwi
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional like whoa.
[trust others way too easily?]: i try not to. if david duchovney taght me anything it was to "trust no one"

-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: 1 really
[of hearts i have broken?] : 1 MAYBE
[of boys i have kissed?] : 15-20...dont really remember...whoops
[of girls i have kissed?] : dont ask
[of tight friends?] : theres never a set number
[of cd's that i own?] :like i count
[of scars on my body?] : the bastard freckle and the blade cut on my leg are the worst.
[of things in my past that i regret?] :again like i count.

[i know]: i need to find a job
[i want]: to be done with school
[i have]: 31 days until my birthday
[i wish]: death 'pon you
[i hate]: my haircolor
[i miss]: the good pillows
[i fear]: werewolves
[i hear]: adrenaline rush
[i search]: for my hoodie
[i love]: a lot of things apparently
[i ache]: from riding my bike
[i care]: man the care bears were cool
[i always]: make an ass out of myself
[i dance]: when i have consumed alcohol
[i cry]: waaay too much
[i do not always]: drink diet root beer
[i write]: evil emo stuff
[i confuse]: everyone. im a dumbass like that
[i can usually be found]: in bed
[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: not that i remember. and if i did, i obviously won
[favorite place to be kissed?]: yeah lets not get to into details here
[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: yes. we'll leave it at that.
[wuss]: aw hell no
[druggie]: no.
[gang member]: apparenly i'm a skinhead according to the unofficial rules. but i dont run with anyone. although i do have cms on my back.yeah, fuck with me now.
[daydreamer]: believer.
[alcoholic]: no. i dont go to meetings
[freak]: ryan told mouse i was. some things said that night should not have been said..especially the stuff about me.
[brat]: i guess i can be. i whine like a mofo
[sarcastic]: no...........
[goody-goody]: not anymore.
[angel]: absolutely
[devil]: absolutely
[friend]: foe
[shy]: not anymore
[talkative]: not to the annoying extent.
[adventurous]: eh.
[intelligent]: i try. but its funnier when i act dumb.

[biggest mistake you've made this far]: i dont know what constitutes mistakes anymore
[describe your personality in one word]: duh
[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: "whoa youre eyes are cool"
[height]: 5'7
[a smell that makes you smile]: certain deoderant
[a city you'd like to visit]: anywhere in ireland
[a drink you order most often]: iced tea
[a delicious dessert]: cupcakes. i make 'em good
[a book you highly recommend]: beautiful girls
[the music you prefer while alone]: the postal service
[your favorite band]: lately its coheed
[a TV show you watch regularly]: joan of arcadia
[you live in a(n)]: currentlt a bugalow in chicago. 3 months, its back to the biggest public school dorms in IL
[your transportation]: whoevers driving
[your cologne or perfume]: ralph by ralph lauren lately
[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: shoes
[something important on your night table]: pictures and jewelery. and a heinekin bottle. oh yeah.

love this song:

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you'd agree

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need

I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me

You're the only one who
Hold my hair back when I'm drunk and gets sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need

Exactly what I need

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground

damn im still bored.

current mood: devious
current music: cassidy ~*~ get no better

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Monday, May 31st, 2004
10:51 am - man hearing this reminds me of like 7th grade
yesterday i passed out at 9. i was tired. plus id had a tad too much to drink at my grams. note to everyone, do not let my cousin erica tell you that d.l.'s is open on sundays cuz its NOT.

uncle georgie asked if i was "serious" with the boy.

according to bob and jay i'm a skinhead....something about it being a default thing.

i think im going to watch amelie.

and yes i know this song is ridiculous but this is what happens when im left up to my own devices. i dont have any skrewdriver on my computer so im forced to listen to this. dont laugh.

current mood: drained
current music: mase~*~ welcome back

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Saturday, May 29th, 2004
2:11 pm - all skinheads are closet homosexuals- OH MAN!
so i havent updated in awhile.

so we'll start with random stuff:

* first off, no one can call me on my cell phone for the next week because i have to pay my bill. apparently i used all of my minutes in a matter of 8 days- this doesnt include all the night and weekend calls. i think at& t can kiss my ghetto onion.

* next thursday im having an unbirthday from brian. he realized that last year he didnt get me anything or even come by or even call me on my birthday and i guess it made him feel a little bad. so hes making me cake. i think its adorable that he would actually make me cake and make sure the frosting was pink. should be fun times.

* still no job.

* i had gone sunday-thursday without smoking. i was hard but i was doing it. and then thursday and friday happened and it all went out the window. damn.

so now i should explain thursday and friday: WARNING I GIVE LOTS OF POINTLESS DETAILS

ryan came and picked me up and we went back to glenview. i thought we were picking up bob on the way ( damn dui means he cant drive still) but he was going to have his mom bring him out. so we were at the house and we got ready for the show. bobs mom still wasnt home from work so ryan went to get him. so i hung out with james and his ex girlfriend who was over, and shane-dog. we watched movies and made strawberry daiquiris. it took ryan an hour and a 1/2 to get to westmont then he picked up bob and it took another hour and 15 minutes to get home. so we got to the show about 2 hours late but it was all good. i smoked like a chimney- outside of course cuz the show was in a theater and they had the side door open for us. so bob and i are hungry so we decide to get burritos to feed me him, and the parsite in his stomach. it was a good ass burrito considering i handt eaten all day. jeff john and jim's band was really good and so were the groadies. however the best part of the show was when ryan and bob walked away and these three guys start talkeing about how they dont get skinheads and this one kid says "ive always thought that all skins are closet homosexuals" geoff, who happened to be standing there too starts laughing his ass off and is like "colleen would you agree?" and all these guys look at me like "wtf is he talking about?" and i was just like "no im pretty damn sure my skinhead boyfriend over there is straight as an arrow".

so then back at the house were waiting for everyone to come over and sharon shows up. so its me ry bob sharon and james drinking the last of the daiquiri stuff, the half gallon of jack daniels and beer. we started playing circle of death with the beer and i started to not feel good. so i excused myself from the game, and made myself sick before i did it later that night. damn burrito.

then i went downstairs and these kids jay keith and junior showed up. then i went upstairs to take a nap. i woke up an hour later and there was a full blown party downstairs. so i grabbed a beer and my cigarettes and started talking to ally and mouse. then like 10 minutes later ryan realized i was back and came over and was like beingf all cute and yelling "my girlfriends awake now!" so then ther was anohter 5 hours of partying which involved drinking all the beer, going to find more beer, barrel of monkeys competitions, the keith kid, who we found out was 15, getting sick all over the downstairs bathroom. then people slowly started passing out, and at teh end it was me and ryan, mouse and james. then ryan and i went to bed and about 20 minutes later an M80 goes off as its passing ryans bedroom window. thank you james and mouse.

so we all eventually woke up, technically i never did because i was the one who heard sean come over to get sharon at 7:15 and let him in, and i was also the one who heard james ride to school come and ring the doorbell and then realize james was not going to go to school.

so then all the guys and i got up, showered, and around 1 went out for breakfast. then jay came and met us.
then we went back to ryans and me and him took a nap and the rest of them watched mars attacks. then we attempted to go to elmhurst to pick up bobs check but traffic was insane so we just headed to westmont. oh and we saw the flooding des plaines river. it was crazy. anyway we get to bobs after like 2 1/2 hours in the car and his dad goes and get us beer. so ryan, bob, jay ( our d.d- how i love him), ryan hall, and this kid whos name mighta been dave are standing in bobs backyard getting drunk off of old style genuine draft and mickeys. then we headed to gaelic fest in the shaggin wagon and ryan and i got to sit in the back and i think we talked about peanut butter twix and flowers. then we got there, and the first people i see are kuch , the packs, phil cherry, steve koenig, and tony cella. me being drunk off my ass just walked right up and started talking. then we met up with sharon and sean. i kept going in and out of the pit cuz i could barely stand because once again i couldve stopped after 3 beers but no i had 6. anyway the tosers were okay but i guess it was one of their worst shows. bobs little brother got to play bass for a song or two and sing so that was funny as hell. then sean, sharon and ryan dropped me off at home, i got a leftover cheeseburger and laid in bed and ate it. i fell asleep still chewing.

for not going out all week, those two days sure made up for it.

current mood: exhausted
current music: nsync~*~ okay yeah i watched "on the line" the other day.

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Thursday, May 20th, 2004
9:54 pm - its always good when you and your bf's mom bond over food.
so i had sushi on monday for ryans 20th b-day. well okay i didnt he did but i had japanese food so yeah. his mom and i got the teriyaki chicken dinner and it was sooo good and i love california rolls now. then we listened to irish folk songs in the car cuz his dad was all into the tape he'd just found that he bought like forever ago. fun times.

tuesday brian came over to give me back the cd he lifted from my room. he bought me reeses sticks and lipgloss as well.

wed. ryan came over and we developed pictures and went to teds. then took a walk around the wonderful-ness that is hegewisch. then he got to meet the dobdas. then we snuck out of my house and went and played pool with his friends and then went to steak and shake as always. john got his root beer spilled all over him by the new waiter. it was AWESOME.

today i watched footloose.

tomorrow i sneak out of my home and spend the day in glenview. oh yeah. so if you happen to be walking down jackson tomorrow and you see a girl in flip flops and a skirt running like crazy towards canal, please move out of my way. people that walk slow piss me off cuz i have like 15 minutes to get to union and last time i was a minute late. damn taxis blocking the road.

this is all

oh yeah retarded pictures

current mood: hot
current music: rancid~*~ daly city train

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Sunday, May 16th, 2004
11:43 pm - i stick out my tongue at updates
You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

tell me this surprises you

current mood: blah
current music: coheed. like i said at least once a day

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Friday, May 14th, 2004
10:55 am - the gloominess makes me smile
damn i could update on soooooo much stuff. im going to keep it somewhat brief.

*went out on tuesday night with b. it was really nice to just hang out and talk. i missed it. and i missed him.

* wed. ryan picked me up in the afternoon and we hung out at his house for awhile. then went to dinner at this steakhouse and i got this super good chicken. yeah it was like a quarter of a friggen chicken and yet i ate the whole thing. plus a piece of ryans calamari. that was weird. i ate a water thing. then we went and picked up bob and they went to go talk to their tattoo guy. if i had the $$ id be getting one on saturday but im poor so no. then we went to steak and shake and it was super fun times with like mouse and geoff and ally and jeff and sean mailey and just random people. then i started to not feel good but it was cool. took bob home and i got home 3 hours late. oh well.

* yesterday i took the train to his house. let me tell you running down jackson in the rain to catch the connecting train was ridiculous. but it was all good cuz i caught the earlier one that way i didnt wait for another 45 minutes. then i got to his house and woke him up. because he was sleeping at 7:30. then we picked up mouse and went to steak and shake and met up with geoff and i finally met monica and jim, and i didnt think monica would like me but she invited me to their girls night and i was like "umm guessing thats a good sign". then we went and hung out in beverly with marcus and it was sooo much fun because i missed that kid ridiculous amounts and he and ryan got along ridiculously well. the second we got back in the car ryan was like "GOOD KID!"then he dropped me off an hour late but this time it didnt matter cuz colleens family is outta town! well not my dad but he could care less.

* tonight better be more fun times.

current mood: chipper
current music: postal service~*~ suddenly everything has changed.

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