Forgotten Little Soilder's Journal

Forgotten Little Soilder's Journal

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

8:13AM - Im worried........

its about Nick. i think hes trying to avoid me or something...everytime i called today he wasnt home. and yesterday night, he said he would call me back and he didnt. ive been calling ever since about 6:20 and its almost 8. this is kinda making me mad. i wonder if he really is ignoring me or is just gone. well i called his line and his little brother picked up and said he wasnt there and he was coming home from the lake. ok i dont know if i should believe this or not....i dont want Nick and me to break up...just the thought of it tears me appart...well i was jsut talking to travis and he said "maybe he really is gone and u just think hes there" that might be true but i dont know. RIP, SLIP, BRUSH, AHH!! man thats a cool commercial lol ive tried those b4 they are cool. well at 8:30 im going to call and if he doesnt awnser im just...going to...cry. thats it. im just gonna cry. because i miss him so much im willing to do anything to see him again before friday. i know thats pathetic of me for saying that but oh well i dont care what you think. ok in 15 mins i can call. i want it to be 8:30 because if he awnsers im gonna ask whats up with this. I dont want himt o break up with me if thats what gonna happen. and you know what else is bothering me? THAT ALL THESE STUPID RAPPERS HAVE PEOPLE PLAYING GUITARS IN THEIR MUSIC VIDEOS!!!!! GOD THAT P!SSES ME OFF!!! ok see isnt that stupid? i hate that it annoys me. Guitars are for rockers. and blues and jazz ANYTHING BUT RAP!!!! i mean come on, seriously man, who wants to hear rap with guitar in it? I SURE AS H3LL DONT BECAUSE I DONT LISTEN TO RAP!!! ok well you know what? i need to take a bath or something...but i will take it later or something. DUDE 50 CENT JUST SAID "DUDE" IN HIS SONG!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOW THEY ARE TAKING OUR WORDS?????????? WHAT NEXT!!!! ARE THEY GOING TO START WEARING BLACK AND EYELINER AND SKATEBOARD TOO??? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! i dont know bu everything is bothering me. i jsut wanna crawl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. i wish i didnt have to go to school tomorrow. i dont feel like it. i dont feel good. i hate everyhing. i hate everyone. well almost everyone. now my foot is asleep...this is just peachy keen isnt it? god isnt my life just SO wonderful?well my foot is numb and i cant feel it. 5 more mins...i want to find out whats going on with him. this is driving me insane...i dont know what to do. one miniute to go.......time to call! NEVERMIND MY FRICKIN MOM HAD TO GET ON AND CALL MY STUPID AUNT WHICH MEANS THEY WILL BE ON FOR FRICKIN EVER...ok dude now im crying...this is ticking me off so much right now i could punch a whole in the wall. ok now they are off so im going to call....GOD HES NOT AWNSERING!!!! i dont know what im going to going to kill myself. not really but i want to. im gonna go cry myself to sleep now. later

Current mood: infuriated
Current music: Opium by Marcy Playground
1 Help put it back on Guitar string broke

Monday, August 9, 2004

7:49AM - Yeah guys...

hey guys guess what i can play now? A Cloak Of Elvenkind by Marcy Playground. i can play along with the song and everything its so awsome lol. yeah well nick should be calling me back any miniute now...i wonder if hes gonna call me back.....yeah hes gonna call me back. he asked me to go to youth group with him on wednesday but i said i cant because of guitar lessons....should i skip lessons and go with him? or what? i don't know what to do. yeah i remember going to youth group on wdnesdays it was fun lol. that one time i got in trouble because i was passing notes and i was trying to get it back so i jumped over a whole bunch of people to get it and they saw me and they had an adult come sit behind me so i wouldnt 'misbehave' anymore LOL. thats funny. well hm im bored. i wish Nick would call me back! i love talking to him. hes the most coolest person to talk to in the whole world. why does it always rain when im sad? i dont get it. im sad right now and it started raining. thats weird. oh well.i had so much math homework today i thought i was going to die. lol. and i did the wrong problems on this one page so i called steph and asked her and she said "yeah you were suposed to do 3-51 multiples of 3 not 5-51 multiples of 5 hahaha" and i had to erase all of it. it made me so mad. i wanted to scream. but i didnt. and then my little stupid brother has to run around in my parents room playing with the dog making her bark while im on the phone with Nick. hes such an idiot. ok i called him back and hes like "ok im almost done but u dont have to go" so were on the phone now. later

Current mood: energetic
Current music: A Cloak Of Elevenkind by Marcy Playground
Guitar string broke

Sunday, August 8, 2004

5:04AM - Mhm....

hey guys.......right now im watching the 50 most awsomley bad songs on VH1 its funny cuz theres alot of songs on here that i like. LOL. well i cant find a background for this journal and its annoying me. i wana find one if Jimmy Page. but i cant find a big one that looks good. yeah well anyways. im bored. that would be cool if my parents would let me hang out with Nick at his house. its weird that they think were going to do something. Just because he is my boifriend doesnt mean im going to do anything with him. hes a really awesome guitarist. and we got our guitars at the same time. but his dad plays too and hes really good. i want to go to Nick's house and get him to teach me some stuff on the guitar. oh yeah in my last post when i said "touched and held hands" i didnt mean like touching anywhere else i ment we touched hands. nothing else. everyone that read my post was like "ew you guys touched!" and im like "yeah. hands." i hate when people are sick like that. its stupid. anways now its 7:40pm srry i left and then came back well i just tried calling Nick back and no one awnsered...maybe he doesnt want to talk to me? or maybe hes eating or something. i dont know. right now im watching Scary Movie 2 on comedy central. i love this movie lol. ive seen it so many times. but it bleeps out when they say fuck. its kind of annoying but oh well i will live. yeah well im going to call him back again in 5 or 10 mins. if he doesnt awnser then im gonna call his cell because i really need to talk to him. ok he awnsered now i gotta go later

Current mood: flirty
Current music: Enter Sandman by Metallica
Guitar string broke

Friday, August 6, 2004

10:55AM - Today was cool.

hey i went to the mall at like 4:30...and we met Nick and his friend Cody,Wyate(spelling?),and another guy. i forgot his name LOL. well Damion was there....Sages ex. and oh god hes hott. he has a peircing on his eye brow in the middle of his eye brows and his lip and his cartalage. hes so hott man,aaaaahhhhhbbbbbbbbaaaaaaa. he checked me out so many times i felt like just saying "yeah your really hott" but i didnt. im chicken. well anyways Nick was there so, i started liking him again. and i told his friend and his friend told him and Nick asked me out. i said yes. of course. well the last hour or so i was there we just touched and held eachothers hands. hes really sweet and affectionate. hes not the type of guy that wants you to have sex with him. he doesnt care about that. all his friends thought i was hott. yeah well i like Nick.well obviously, im going out with him lol. these girls he met there were all pissed when they found out. lol it was so funny. she was like "are yall going out?" and i said "yeah" she looked like she was gonna cry or something. LOL. oh well. i dont care. i got my man thats all that matters lol. i cant call him because its too late. so im not going to. and my throat hurts because i was yelling at Joe because he was getting in a fight at the mall in frount of little kids and he kept saying fuck so i was like "JOE STOP IT THERES LITTLE KIDS AROUND HERE!!! STOP IT" but anyways yeah so i was screaming at him and now my throat hurts. yeah well hey im gonna go to bed now because im dead tired. later

For the first time in awhile im really happy...I cant wait to get to see Nick again!

Current mood: happy
Current music: Enter Sandman by Metallica
Guitar string broke

Sunday, August 1, 2004

9:48AM - Whats up!?!?

man im so f*cking bored. i wish my dad didnt read my stupid journal so i could cuss. im so sick of not cussing on here. its so f*cking stupid that he reads this. i mean its a journal...its where my personal thoughts go. im suposed to be able to cuss on it and he shouldnt be able to read it. i mean you guys can because i dont know you but him....thats pisses me off. anyways. well i IMd Chad today...i dont think he was to happy about me IMing him...oh well. he'll get over it lol. yeah. so. im bored. dude i wish i could put music on this thing. oh well. well we go back to school on thursday! so im excited about that. i have to find a boyfriend. i need one badly. lol. this one guy asked me out but i dont like he wont do lol. i need to find sumone that likes me...hmm...i dont know. CHINGA TU MADRE! dude my friend just told me that ment "go fuck your mom" dude thats so awesome im gonna tell everyone that now. ok i just got done yelling a this dude and i said it and hes like wtf and then hes like bye. ok well you know what? im bored as f*ck. i love saying f*uck. f*ck f*ckedy f*ck f*ck f*ck!!! lol yea im weird...i knoe. man im bored. im gonna go lol. later

Someone please post...I hate when no one posts.

Current mood: anxious
Current music: All Kinds Of Time by Fountains Of Wayne Guitar string broke

Thursday, July 29, 2004

9:14AM - hey guys

hey i dont know if you guys have ever heard this song before, probably not, but its really awesome...and the lyrics are so f*ucking just now trying to memorize them so i can sing alone with it ya know lol here it is

Psycho Love

Check out Clementine
Cleanin' needles in her wine
Face down in her one-eyed world
With her brain-dead valentine

She'll be your zombie, your livin' dead
Her sweet corruption
It's gonna make you, gonna break you
Ohh yeah, she said...

Haunt my house of pain
And feel my psycho love
We'll shine and pray for rain
To heal my psycho love

Legs at ten and two
Chain her down that's what you do
King Tut and snake-eyed slut
In the pink but screamin' blue

I'll taste your crazy, you smell insane
I'm just another ghost
Inside your spirits hall of fame

Haunt my house of pain
And feel my psycho love
We'll shine and pray for rain
To heal my psycho love

As the warm smooth soul
Chases through the cold silence
of a body
A body of touch not feel
One question is she a stone in the
devil's garden
Or a speck in an angels dust
Ashes to ashes
And lust to lust

She'll teach you true love
Watchin' you turn blue love
She'll wrap you in a chokehold
And suck your symptom dry

dude isnt that awesome??? im going to bring it to school one day and read it out loud because its so awesome lol...yeah cyle read my journal...and i think he saw the convo with travis...well yeah he did because he talked about it. oh well. i love that song man. yeah im bored man....i think im going to straighten my hair but i dont know lol. im kinda just blah. i wanna curl up in my bed and go to sleep but i cant bc im going to brittanys house tomorrow for the whole weekend. so i have to get ready. man cyle and kyla sure have been going out for a long time. its been what 2 months? something like thats. thats cool though. i know this couple thats married and they are like in their 30's and 40's and theyve been dating ever since middle school...isnt that cool? yeha im reading all my poems to myself....some of them suck and some of them are really awesome. i'll show you one if i think its ok hold on yeah this ones stupid but im gonna put it down anyway lol hold on again

no title
by me

when you lie to me
it fills me with pain
im so dead tired
of playing your game

you know what you did to me
you also know as well
what im going thru
its a never-ending hell.

ok thats all i have on that one lol. heres anotyher one ( i like this one )

by me

you broke my heart
i cant take the pain
i hate standing out here
in the rain

my eyes are wet
as i sit here crying
you need to stop
all this lying

i cant take it anymore
im going insane
im sick of this life
always taking the blame

my days are short
so dull are grey
i want to lay like this forever
and stay

i hope you're happy
you've caused so much pain
you made me miserable
im going insane

the person i wrote that about knows who they are and if they dont then f*ck them. man i wanted to go to Warped Tour so bad man...........i say man too much dont i? lol. oh well. yeah i need some of them anti-depressant pills...or a ginormaous cup of coffee. i think im going to grab my guitar and practice stairway to im gonna go. later

Current mood: devious
Current music: Iron Man by Black Sabbath Guitar string broke

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

2:43AM - Just got back....

hey guys! wut is up homes? as my idiotic little brother would say...well anyways i just got home from the beach and i have to go to the stupid dentist in..*looks at clock and counts on fingers*'ll get it soon....hold on....uhh....ok i got it....i have to leave in 45 miniutes. yeah im not that good with counting time...haha. well Mark called to tell me where the new guitar place is gonna be. so yeah. its all good.....i hope his Bells Paulsy is gone...i dont want him to be all sick like that....hes probably better....he better be..if he dies im going to kill someone....seriously i will...and then i will lock myself in my room forever until i die. im dont think i wont do it? yeah well i will....oh yeah guess what? he leaves LONG messages like moms like "no wonder you like him. he leaves long messages like you!" yeah well im bored...and i dont wanna go to the dentist....OH MY BOB WE START SCHOOL IN 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH oh well lol i'll be fine well i start on a thursday and my bro starts on monday haha...and we get out at 2:25 haha but i have to wake up at 6am because it starts at i dont wanna go to the this year i hope i meet a hott skater guy who likes me.......alot. man im bored.......i seriously dont wanna go to the dentist....i hate the foamy stuff they make u put in ur mouth for a miniute and the toothpaste stuff thats all gritty...and stuff...yeah anyways. i think im going to die because i cant get this friggin acoustic in tune. i dont even know how to tune these...i wonder if its different from how you tune electric guitars......oh well....i'll bring it to Mark and he'll show me lol...yeah im im gonna go...and straighten my hair so i can look good for anyone who i might see that i might like lol....just kidding. i always gotta hair straight hair or i get pissed. well later

Current mood: bored
Current music: This Photograph Is Proof by Taking Back Sunday Guitar string broke

Friday, July 16, 2004

6:10AM - stuff about me...

ok im writting what i want you to know about might not be much.

1. even though i look happy most of the not.
2. i usually get annoyed by you whoever you are easily, even though i dont tell you.
3. i wish i could kill anyone and everyone who ever made fun of me.
4. i watch the wiggles. its such a good d@mn show. watch it sometime.
5. even though Mark says im very good at guitar for a beginner, i dont think i am.
6. i dont like being tall. at all.
7. i DON'T like being in charge. not one bit.
8. i am the laziest person you will ever talk to, meet, or whatever.
9. i hate anyone who tries to be something they are not.
10. i HATE when people copy me.
11. i can't stand snobby people.
12. i despise gym class.
13. i think rap is the most annoying-ist music, wait i take that back its not even music its just words, well like i said i cant stand all.
14. it annoys me that almost all of my friends listen to rap.
15. anyone who makes me listen to rap...i secrectly wish to kill them.
16. yes i have cut myself before...but not bad.
17. i wish that i could be 16 so i could work at the guitar place i go to.
18. i absolutley LOVE hanging out with Mark,Denver,and Terrel even though they are all alot older than me.
19. sometimes i wish i was dead.
20. i dont see why my parents made me go to didnt work.
21. everyone knows i will never get the money for the guitar i want. but i will get it so SHUT THE H3LL UP.
22. i want the people who talk about me to know this...thanks for making me the center of your world.
23. i am OBSESSED with guitars and music.
24. if someone took my music and guitar away, i would kill myself.
25. i really hate mexicans. no offense. i just do.
26. i cant stand posers.
27. i want to kill all of the preps to make the world a better place.
28. i know the words to almost every sone ive ever heard before.
29. i cant stand it when people forward me stuff.
30. i hate the color pink.
31. if i could, i would walk around in a big blanket all the time.
32. if my parents would let me, i would move in with Mark because he is the coolest person in the world. hes just like a teenager lol its unbelievable. no i dont like him like that.
33. i i had enough money, i would adopt all the homeless kids and give them all food and clothes and make them all happy.
34. if i could i would pick up every homeless person i saw and take them home. then give them money and help them get a house or something.
35. if i could eat/go to the bathroom/drink/ect. in my room, then i would probably never come out.
36. i dont like flowers.
37. i hate it when people ask me how tall i am and if i like it. no i dont like it.
38. the worst think you could do to me is take my music and guitar away for longer than a nano-second.
39. i still watch the disney channel. all the time.
40. i love computers, i am a computer geek.
41. i cant stand people who ask too many questions.
42. if i had enough money and a place to put them all, i would have every kind and model of guitar in the world.
43. you dont think so now, but one day i will be the greatist guitarist in the world.
44. even though i dont look strong, i could beat you down in a miniute.
45. i dont like fighting, it just takes up my time to play guitar.
46. i dont like when people argue with me or in frount of me.
47. when i go to olive garden, i re-arrange all the little sugar packs so they are in the same color categories. then amanda messes them up. then i do it again. then she messes them up just keeps going on and on.
48. i wish i had someone who loved me as much as my parents do.
49. i am in love with Mark Hoppus from Blink 182.
50. at one time in my life i ran into a fire place, and i think thats why im so messed up now.
51. i dont like the fact that my hair is wavey. i hate making it straight every night.
52. i dont take a shower everyday. because i stay inside so i dont get dirty. i take one every other day.
53. people in general piss me off.
54. no one will ever know how depressed i really am inside.
55. no matter how much help my parents try to get me, it wont work. ever.
56. i dont tell anyone but travis how i feel.
57. sometimes i wish that i was a boy so that if i was ever in a band i could make it big time and no one would make fun of me for being a girl. but trust me im not gonna change into one lol.
58. i have a hermit crab named after a guitar brand. Gibson.
59. i dont like being alone i just tell people that.
60. when i say im not thinking of anything, im always thinking about guitars.
61. boi's are just a waste of time. they are only here to help make babies and annoy us.
62. i couldnt live without playing Halo ever again.
63. if i could pick one place to be all the time, it would be at the guitar place.
64. i get embarrassed to play infrount of Mark because i think he is cute. and because hes alot better than i am.
65. i dont like younge black people for some reason. they just annoy me.
66. i wish this song would end and get on to Stairway To Heaven.
67. i never liked travis as much as i said i did.
68. i absolutley hate burger king.
69. im not as stupid as you think i am. i just act like it because im scared of what people would say if they knew i was smart.
70. i dont plan on going to college even though i told my parents i do. i want to go to a musicians school, not college.
71. i love the song Stairway To Heaven.
72. when i turn 21 i plan to go out and get so drunk i cant stand up.
73. on almost everyone i see i pick a part of them that i wish i had or looked like.
74. i think Ricky Ulman is soo incredibly know? the guy from Phil Of The Future
75. I love Spongebob Squarepants.
76. i dont like wearing bikini's.
77. i hate getting my hair wet , besides the shower.
78. i hate guys with hairy chests.
79. if i could change one thing about myself it would be my confidence.
80. i dont really like coke. i love pepsi though.
81. i dont like spicey food.
82. most of the scary movies i see i say arent scary, but really i stay up at night bc i cant
83. i hate when people pick on other people. its not right.
84. no one but me can hurt my brother. no one.
85. sometimes i stress out way to much that i just start crying if something doesnt go right. like if my sock doesnt go on right....i wish i didnt have them.
86. ive wanted to try drugs. but im not going to.
87. im not as mean as i look if you dont know me. im pretty nice. i just look like it so no one will bother me.
88. i get nervous around around old people..and babies.
89. i wish i had beautiful skin, no matter how much i wash my face it just wont go back like it was. i dont have it bad just acouple here and there.
90. no one knows but, i secretley love shopping.
91. i dont like my face most of the time. sometimes i do.
92. i hate rainbows.
93. i hate when i snoop around and find out what im getting for xmas...even though i dont want to, i do it anyways and i hate it.
94. sometimes i feel like i could just runaway. but i dont. instead i just go for a walk down to the lake.
95. i dont like vans...they annoy me.
96. i wish no one knew that we had alot of money.
97. i love giving advice to people.
98. i think the only things on my body that i like are my eyes and lips.
99. i can never find the right things to say when im mad.
100. one day, when you see me on TV or in a concert on stage rocking out with my guitar, your going to wonder why you never asked me out.

Thats what i want people to know. i know i said i wasnt going to put alot...but i did. LOL. well im gonna go. later.

Current mood: discontent
Current music: Black Dog by Led Zeppelin 1 Help put it back on Guitar string broke

5:33AM - *Sighs*

i wish i had wings...i wish i could fly away from all of this....why cant god give me stupid as this sounds....i wish i was a bird...i could do whatever i wanted...i could go where i wanted....i wouldnt have to worry about anything...why does god hate me? what did i do to him for him to make me fall in love with someone i cant be with? im not going to tell you who it is, but it would never work hey look at this quote...its so beautiful " Somewhere theres someone who dreams of your smile, someone who finds your presence worth while, so when you are lonely, remember its true: somewhere someone is thinking of you." i think that is so awesome...but too bad its not true for me lol...oh well i'll find someone soon...maybe in high school i'll find someone who i can care about as much as i do about the person now. oh man im bored...i went to the movies myself. i saw white was pretty funny. well im gonna go play to you later

Current mood: depressed
Current music: Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin 1 Help put it back on Guitar string broke

Sunday, July 11, 2004

11:23AM - hey im back...

hey guys....i got back from Missouri at 1am this morning so yeah i just woke up like an hour ago...or 30 mins i dont know. but i know that my coffee is cold as ice and its annoying me i want it to be hott!!! well the whole time i was there i didnt get to see Jackson or Jacob : ( so my vacation SUCKED!!! all i did was go to walmart everyday for 8 days and i got some new CDs....lets see i got The Killers : Hot Fuss, Fountains of Wayne : Welcome Interstate Managers..(or something like that i for got the name LOL ), Spiderman 2 soundtrack, and my mum got the Joe Dirt sound track, but its in my CD case for as long as she cant tell that i have it LOL. and thats it. before we left my mum got me a new cd player because my old one didnt work it kept messing up. so she bought me a new one!!! and um i broke up with cam...i think i told u that, i dont know but i did. and i havnt talked to him since. well i just got home lol. ok im on the phone w/ Amanda now!!! i missed her so much!!! i hope she hangs out with me sometime LOL. well um i think im gonna go now....later

Current mood: amused
Current music: No Music. 1 Help put it back on Guitar string broke

Saturday, June 26, 2004

11:01AM - Sooo....

yeah so wuts up guys? ok who ever is reading this please post on it. i dont care what you say, just post please. im sick of no one posting!!! lol well bored as h3ll....can u guys tell yet? probably not. well we leave on thursday 0_o so im happy about that. i finally have something to do this summer rather than just sit around here all day and do nothing. up there i can hang out with Jackson and Jacob. and i can go in the creek. and if im lucky, it will rain just a little bit so we can go muddin!!! have yall ever done that before? its so much fun you should try it sometime. when it rains, you go to a place where theres alot of mud and if u have a four wheeler you can use that to drive around in it and sling mud but, if not, you can use a truck or something. its so much fun. or u could just use a hose to make it muddy lol. 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o!!!! have you guys ever put soap and water on a trampoline and slid on it?? ive never done that before, b ut i really want to. lol. next time knox comes over we'll do that. or if any of my other friends come over we will....oh yeah knox is amanda. i just started calling ppl by there last name.....its really weird. but oh well....ok well im bored now. i just have to think of something else to talk about.... oh yeah! did you guys read those questions i put up? they are cool. hey i wrote a new poem....well only part of it. and i cant tell you why i wrote it b/c no one is suposed to know, but u can read the poem here it is

Didn't Mean To

Im hidding
behind my fears
this pain
is truley worth my tears

Im sorry that
I hurt you
I promise it was the last thing
I ment to do.

I sware
I didnt mean to
You do believe me,
Dont you?

ok that is all i have so far. if u guys or someone thinks its good or bad or whatever just post and tell me what you think of it. dont lie to me. i like when ppl tell me the truth. it makes me stronger in a way. thanks for not lieing to me about my stuff! oh hey look at this its so cool <^> <^> i learned that a long time ago i think its so cool.

<^> screw you <^>

ok i think thats so awesome i jsut had to do it with a marquee. lol yesh i know im easly amused but its ok, because im speacial like that lol. well im really getting sick of this user name. maybe i will get a new one and put all these posts on that one....that would do wouldnt it?? i think so....well im gonna go make a new user name lol. later

\m/ ROCK ON!! \m/

Current mood: amused
Current music: When I Come Around by Green Day Guitar string broke

Friday, June 25, 2004

8:34PM - A conversation

a convo i just had with travis....i ment every word.

XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: hey
Tinfin 1331 [8:01 PM]: hey
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: how was the mall
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: ?
Tinfin 1331 [8:01 PM]: cool
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: nice
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: how r u?
Tinfin 1331 [8:01 PM]: good u?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:01 PM]: shitty
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:02 PM]: :-(
Tinfin 1331 [8:02 PM]: whats wrong?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:03 PM]: my head is killing me and im trying to be strong, but its not working this time. i still gotta do it if i wanna be happy
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:03 PM]: i feel like hell
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:03 PM]: i think im getting sick
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:03 PM]: but its cool, i'll get better tomorrow
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:04 PM]: :-)
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:04 PM]: so wut all did u do at the mall
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:05 PM]: ?
Tinfin 1331 [8:05 PM]: did alot of sittin walkin
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:05 PM]: wow lol
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:05 PM]: who went with u
Tinfin 1331 [8:06 PM]: mitch tom
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:06 PM]: nice
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:06 PM]: y didnt sealy go?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:06 PM]: oh yeah thats cyle
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:06 PM]: lol
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:06 PM]: dont tell him i made fun of him, he just IMd me today....i kinda wanna stay friends
Tinfin 1331 [8:07 PM]: wanna stay friends what?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:08 PM]: well i always feel like he really hates me and it kills him to be around me and he talked to me today and he was nice to me. i kinda want him to stay nice to me instead of always yelling at me
Tinfin 1331 [8:08 PM]: o okay
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:08 PM]: so um hows life
Tinfin 1331 [8:08 PM]: i had alot of fun today
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:09 PM]: thats really cool
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:09 PM]: im happy that u had fun today
Tinfin 1331 [8:09 PM]: yeah hows life for u ?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:09 PM]: i guess its ok
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:09 PM]: nothing is going the way i want it to
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:10 PM]: theres always something im doing wrong
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:11 PM]: and someone is always yelling at me or critizing me for something i did or am doing....
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:11 PM]: i just dont know what to do or feel or say
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:11 PM]: im numb
Tinfin 1331 [8:12 PM]: then sleep it ouit
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:12 PM]: ive been trying
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:12 PM]: its not working
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:12 PM]: something is really wrong with me or something
Tinfin 1331 [8:13 PM]: no man
Tinfin 1331 [8:13 PM]: thats not it
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:13 PM]: i dont know what to do
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:14 PM]: im getting so depressed
Tinfin 1331 [8:15 PM]: well do whatever takes ur mind off of things taken shower playin ur guitar whatever
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:15 PM]: i tried everything
Tinfin 1331 [8:16 PM]: hmm
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:17 PM]: thanks for trying to help
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:17 PM]: it means alot
Tinfin 1331 [8:17 PM]: yea
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:17 PM]: so
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:18 PM]: i'll take some sleeping pills and sleep for a long time....maybe i will feel better someday
Tinfin 1331 [8:18 PM]: just find happieness
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:19 PM]: how am i suposed to do that. everything that used to make me happy is gone. its out of reach
Tinfin 1331 [8:19 PM]: how come
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:20 PM]: its slipping from me....i cant do anything right anymore. i cant make people happy anymore. i cant make them laugh. i miss something.
Tinfin 1331 [8:20 PM]: shit
Tinfin 1331 [8:20 PM]: why should u make ppl happy
Tinfin 1331 [8:20 PM]: stop carin about other ppl care about urself
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:21 PM]: i do care about myself. but i love making ppl happy. i like the feeling when they are happy with what i did. like they're proud of me or makes me feel better
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:21 PM]: but im different now...
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:22 PM]: maybe when school starts i'll be better
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:22 PM]: im so alone
Tinfin 1331 [8:22 PM]: if u dont want to be alone y did u break up with ur bf
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:22 PM]: b/c i cant stand him
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:23 PM]: and theres other reasons that i cant explain
Tinfin 1331 [8:23 PM]: yea
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:24 PM]: i dont know what to do anymore
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:24 PM]: and im really sorry im pouring my feelings out to you, ur probably annoyed.
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:24 PM]: sorry
Tinfin 1331 [8:24 PM]: .nope actually im not
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:24 PM]: oh ok
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:25 PM]: but like i lost and i dont know wut to do anymore
Tinfin 1331 [8:26 PM]: i know how that goes
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:26 PM]: theres almost nothing to be happy about
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:26 PM]: yeah
Tinfin 1331 [8:26 PM]: make somethin
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:26 PM]: i dont jknow what to make
Tinfin 1331 [8:26 PM]: urself happy?
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:26 PM]: im trying
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:26 PM]: i dont know how anymore
Tinfin 1331 [8:26 PM]: yeah
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:27 PM]: oh well
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:27 PM]: anyways
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:28 PM]: so hows life
Tinfin 1331 [8:28 PM]: good urs
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:29 PM]: lol u already now how mine is
Tinfin 1331 [8:29 PM]: yeah
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:29 PM]: wut made u so hapy all of the sudden
Tinfin 1331 [8:30 PM]: lol i quit carin about what made me sad
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:30 PM]: lol
Tinfin 1331 [8:30 PM]: hey im wicked tired im gonna head to bed r somethin
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: me too
Tinfin 1331 [8:31 PM]: im sry i cant help u to much
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: no
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: wait
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: ur helping me more than anyone ever did.
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: and i wanna thank you
Tinfin 1331 [8:31 PM]: yeah
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:31 PM]: thanks
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:32 PM]: well um sleep good
Tinfin 1331 [8:32 PM]: yeah u to dont let things bother u so much just relax and forget
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:32 PM]: i am now
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:32 PM]: thanks for everything
XxHaLoRoCkSxX [8:32 PM]: night night

Current mood: crushed
Current music: Somebody Told Me by The Killers Guitar string broke

5:49PM - So Little Success, So Much Time...

well now i have $135 and i need $515 happy man....well umm im gonna go because i need to go divide how many more hours i have to work to get $515....probably alot lol....later

Current mood: pleased
Current music: Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional Guitar string broke

Thursday, June 24, 2004

2:39PM - Hey....some questions

this is gonna be a long one....

1. Name: Kayla
2. birthday: September 12th, 1990
3. sign: Virgo
4. age: im 13 right now....but i will be 14 soon!!
5. sex: Female
6. location: Florida
7. school: Im a freshman @ MDHS
8. glasses/contacts: none
9. braces: I dont need 'em
10. fat/skinny: Skinny
11. tall/short: Incredibly tall for my 6 feet
12. do you like ketchup: yeah
13. do you like mustard: no
14. do you like mayonnaise: yeah
15. do you like pickles: nope...well i like the bread and butter pickles they are mm mm good!
16. do you like boys or girls: boi's
17. do you like pickle relish (yuck): no
18. do you like chicken: Dude i love chicken....*drools*
19. do you like spinach: yup
20. do you have any siblings: yeah a little 11 year old brother and two half sisters
21. what are their names: Sam ( my real brother ), Lauri and Barbra ( half sisters )
22. how old are they: 11, and i dont know how old my half sisters are....i forgot lol
23. do you have any pets: yea
24. what are their names: Gus,Little Bit,Lu Lu,Dipper,Newt,Magoo,Carl
25. what kind of pets are they: first 3 are dogs. dipper is a prarie dog, newt is a cat, magoo is a daygoo (spelling?),and Carl is a bird that hangs out in our we named him lol
26. do you like school: It keeps me from being bored
27. if you could choose anyone to rule the world who would it be: Me
28. do you like pokemon: I used to
29. do you talk to voices in your head:
30. do they tell you to do stuff: Mmmmhm
31. do you listen: Yup
32. are you a freak: Yeah....proud of it BIA BIA!!! lol
33. how often do you talk on the phone: Im on the phone all the time. Im never off.
34. how often do you surf the web: All the time, unless im eating.
35. how often do you hang out with friends: When im in school, ALOT!. When im out of school, very little.
36. do you have a bf/gf: yes
37. do you love them: no
38. have you ever loved anyone: Yea....unfortunatley
39. have you ever made-out with someone: I forgot 0_o
40. are you loopy: loopy as in insane? if thats wut you mean then, yes i am VERY loopy.
41. have you ever broke any bones: no
42. if so, which ones:
43. how often do you shower: almost everyday, if not then every other day.
44. which group do you hang out with at school: I dont hang out with a group. I hang out with everyone.
45. do you get good grades: sometimes...but then not sometimes
46. do you always get in trouble: im always getting yelled at by teachers, but nothing major
47. do you get along with your parents: Yea...I think. i just dont hang around my family alot. Im always in my room.
48. are you gonna go to college: Well, im going to, but its only gonna be part time because im gonna be a Musician. Dont laugh. It will happen you stupid idiot.
49. who is your best girl friend: amanda knox
50. who is your best boy friend: Travis, and Mark ( guitar teacher )
51. who do you talk to the most on the phone: Cameron
52. who do you talk to the most on the net: Anyone who IMs mostly Travis.
53. do you like email or snail mail better: I like email better
54. do you like gold or silver jewelry: Silver
55. have you ever prank called a 1-800 number: yeah...willy wonkas chocolate factory nerds rope place lol
56. have you ever tried to impress your crush and ended up embarrassing yourself: Probably
57. what are you most afraid of: it has to be SPIDERS!!!!!! dude i hate those things...i have mini heart attack things when i see them
58. are you weird: Yes......Very.
59. how long does it take you to get ready for school: 30 Mins
60. do you have a crush: Im not sure...
61. what are their names: Dude i said i wasnt sure
62. do you sleep with one pillow or two: one
63. do you like coffee: H3LL YEAH!!!! i drink it every morning and sometimes at night! lol
64. if not, how come:
65. what is the longest you have went out with someone: um I dont know. Maybe a month or two at the most
66. do you regret it: nope
67. how do you know the person who sent this to you: She read my journal when i made it and we've talked ever since


68. do you want to live? California
69. is the most fun place to go? Probably Cali, but ive never been there
70. do you want to meet your husband/wife? California
71. do you want to go heaven or hell? Heaven
72. do you want to get married? I wanna get married on a roller coaster.

73. Do you like to do? play guitar
74. was the most fun retreat/trip you ever went on? I dont know. theres too many to remember
75. friend is always there? None of them. Well Amanda when she has nothing better to do.
76. relative sends you the most money for Christmas? I dont get money for Xmas...i get presents stupid
77. do you like about your church or school clique? Everyone laughs at me all the time. I love when i make people laugh
78. do you want to be when you grow up? i know wut im going to be....a musician.
79. do you want your wifes name to be? dont you mean husband? im a chick not a boi
80. is your favorite sport? Soccer or 4-square LOL
81. is your favorite piece of clothing? destroyed pants from Hollister

***have you, in the last 24 hrs...***
82. Cried? no
83. gotten in major trouble? no
84. cut your hair? no
85. ate a meal? yeah like 15 lol
86. hugged someone? no
87. kissed someone? no
88. made a new friend? no
89. lost something? no

***have you ever...***
90. Been so drunk you passed out? no
91. gone out in public in your pajamas? yup
92. had an imaginary friend? yup, millions of them
93. cried during a chick flick? yeah
94. owned a new kids on the block cd? no
95. gotten in a car accident? no
96. liked someone so much you cried? yeah... : (
97. cussed when your parents were around? yeah
98. told your sister/brother he/she was a *****? yeah....billions of times lol
99. sung in front of the mirror? all the time lol
100. made faces in the mirror? all the time lol
101. spent more than one hour on your hair? straightening it only takes 30 mins so NO
102. sleep- walked talked in your sleep? yeah i talk in my sleep all the time.
103. watched a scary movie and couldn't sleep all night? yup yup....lots of times
104. gone caroling? If i did, i sure as h3ll dont remember lol

105. what is the funniest movie you ever saw? Jackass
106. what is the stupidest movie? any of the Terminator movies......god i hate them
107. which movie could you watch over and over? The School Of Rock
108. what was the last movie you saw? um i have no frickin idea...
109. who do you go to the movies with? who ever wants to go
110. what movie made you cry the most? The Never ending story....the part where the horse dies ( dude this was when i was little!! )
111. did you like titanic? yeah....pretty cool movie

***if you were stranded on an island***

112. who would you take? Everyone at Jem Guitars,Amanda K.,theres so many more people I cant even think of them right now lol.
113. who would you take if you only had two people you could bring? Mark and Amanda
114. what three things would you bring? My Guitar,life-time supply of food,and a life time supply of tampons lol
115. what island would you want to be stranded on? one that had people on it. lol
116. what animal would you kill for food? Cows....mmm mmm beef
117. would you write on the sand "help"? no because there is people on my island remember? silly...
118. would you panic or relax? I would relax. As long as i had my guitar,Mark,and Amanda i would be ok.

***would you ever...***
119. Jump out of a plane? H3LL YEAH! im gonna do that for my 18th birthday.
120. kiss your best guy friend (or if you're a guy girl friend)? Yeah.
121. go bungee jumping? Umm....Maybe...
122. stay in your room for a whole day? long as i had food and pepsi i would be ok...oh and a toilet, bc all of that pepsi would make me have to pee!
123. go in the snow without clothes? yeah
124. skinny dip? Ive done that before. its fun you should try it. just make sure your best guy friend doesnt live right next to you so he can see like mine did....scary lol
125. drink salt water? Ive done that b4
126. touch road kill? much would you pay me?
127. take a job even if it meant you'd be away from your guy (or girl)? Im not sure....probably not.
128. smile at your worst? yeah. i do that all the time
129. play 8,000 bowling games in one night? yeah but it might take a while lol
130. go to Reno to get married? no
131. gamble? yeah
bring shorts to Minnesota? i dont wear shorts, but i would bring them
132. have a make-out party? sure why not
133. throw a party without your parents? hell no. they would shoot my a$$
134. go to a foreign country? yeah
135. fly a plane? dude i do that all the time

136. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? Amanda Knox
137. if you had to go live in Borneo for the rest of your life and you could take one person who would it be? Amanda Knox
138. on this earth, who would you take? I dont get it.....
139. who is the one person that you could stand spending a straight 24 hours with and not get the slightest bit annoyed with? Mark, he is like my second best friend even though he is 35 and im only 13.
140. if you woke up one morning and noticed that your leg was missing who would be the first person you would call? i wouldnt call anyone....i would just get up and get in my car and drive to the hospitol
141. let's say your dad came in your room one day and told you that you had to get married in the next week but you can pick the person but you have to stay with them for the rest of your life no getting out of it, who would you pick? I would pick Mark Hoppus from Blink 182.
142. what if you woke up tomorrow and you were someone else completely, who would you be? I would wanna be Mark Hoppus's wife. lol

143. is your favorite thing to do? play guitar
144. if all of a sudden you had the ability to do one thing better than everyone else, have one amazing talent, what would it be? i would pick playing guitar.
145. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change(personality and looks)? i would change my hair from being black to blonde, and in my personality i would make me funnier ( even though i dont need it lol )
146. what is your dream career? A famous rock musician....but its gonna happen so its not a dream
147. what is the one thing you just have to do before you die? play a show in frount of millions of ppl where it just me and my guitar...
148. if you could be a member of any band that has ever exsisted, what band would that be? Blink 182 with out a doubt
149. what is the thing you care about most in your life? being a great guitarist, and finding someone to share my life with.

***which one......***
150. Winter or summer? summer
151. The beach or the mountains? beach

152. pop or punk? punk
153. rock or rap? ROCK......YA CANT SPELL CRAP WITHOUT RAP
154. new york or LA.? LA
155. milk chocolate or dark chocolate? milk chocolate
156. dogs or cats? dogs
157. britney or christina? none....they both should die
158. leno or letterman? letterman
159. jackson or prince? Prince
160. country or classical? country
161. day or night? night
162. lake or ocean? lake
163. waffles or pancakes? pancakes
164. soccer or football? soccer
165. baseball or swimming? swimming
166. chocolate or vanilla? chocolate
167. sugar or spice? a little bit of both
168. grisham or canyon vista? what are those?
169. eminem-please stand up or please shut up? please stand up....even though thats rap i like that song

170. If you could be in any movie as the lead role what movie would it be? um the school of rock, but jack has to be a chick lol
171. if you could design your perfect mate what would he/she look like: It doesnt really matter to me just as long as they ont have bad acne or bad teeth or a bad personality
and be like? sweet,caring,kind,funny,strong,very hot,fun to be with....ect
172. if you won the lottery what would you do with your, let's say, 18 million dollars? i would buy all the guitars i wanted and i would buy a new house to put them all ine ( bc theres gonna be alot ) and i would buy my parents some stuff and i would shop and i would buy a H2
173. what is the single most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? I dont know....theres way too many

***have you ever.....***
174. Fallen in front of someone you thought to be quite good looking? yup
176. sleep walked? probably
177. gone skinny-dipping? yup
178. kissed someone of the same sex? no
179. snuck out of the house at night? no
180. gotten in a car wreck where you are the driver? no i dont drive
181. laughed so hard that what you were drinking spewed out your nose? haha yeah i did that with coffee the other day lol
182. started laughing really hard so you just spit out what you had in your mouth cause you couldn't swallow? ya
183. swallow a bug? probably
184. have you ever actually kept a new year's resolution? yeah.
185. if so what was it? playing guitar better...its happening
186. anything you'd like to say? i love you

~*~*would you ever*~*~
187. eat bugs purposely? yeah
188. commit a crime? sure
189. change your religion? no
190. lie to your parents? ive done it already
191. jump over a waterfall? yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
192. change clothes in front of an open window? yeah do it all the time
193. dress up as the opposite sex for an important event? ive done it b4 and will do it again.
194. go out at night dressed in something like a black trench coat and sunglasses? yeah
195. sing a harmonized duet in front of 500 strangers? sure
196. tell someone that you liked them if they were much older than you? yes

~*~*have you ever*~*~
197. lied to your parents about something really important? yes
198. have your life threatened? i dont know
199. stumbled across fbi secrets online? no..i wish
200. stayed up until the morning light talking online? yeah all the time
201. made people give you really weird glances? yeah....all the time
202. if yes, how? im just weird and they look at me bc im weird
203. read a Shakespeare play? nope
204. talked in your sleep? yeah all the time
205. what did you say? too many stuff to remember
206. sung at a karaoke bar? no

207. who do you have a crush on: no one
208. who do u like: no one
have you ever gone out with them: no
209. have you ever kissed them: no
210. do you wanna kiss them: no
211. what is the farthest you have gone with a guy/girl: i dont have to tell u that, and trust me its not far


Current mood: angry
Current music: Vindicated by Dashboard Confessionals Guitar string broke

2:04PM - God im bored...

dude im so bored right now. me,amanda,landrie,and my mom went to the Altamonte mall today. Amanada got sick...well she didnt hurl but she felt like it. and i felt bad for her. and i got two pairs of pants and three shirts. i got the pants from Hollister, and a shirt from Hollister, a shirt from Hot Topic, and a shirt from Ambercrombie & Fitch. now im watching The School Of Rock. well i've been watching it over and over again b/c i love it so much. that little kid Zach, hes really good at guitar. hes only 10. i love him already! not like that, but like an idol love. b/c hes so good at guitar lol. i guess im just obsessed with guitars....i cant help it...i told u i was saving up for a Gibson SG....its $649....and i only have $88 lol....i will get there soon enough. i only wanna use the money i earn so when i get it it will feel good to me. god this is gonna be so awesome if you guys wanna see it my screen name is and its on my profile. its so awesome. i love it. its gonna be my baby!!! LOL well im officially bored. theres nothing to do around here except play guitar, and thats fine with me. but i just wish i had a car. dude if i had a car i wouldnt be here. you know where i would be? i would be at Jem Guitars. ALL the time. i mean if anyone ever needed me i would be there. Jem Guitars is so awesome. its so awesome. im gonna work there someday.....i hope lol.....they will probably get tired of me by then and want me to leave just kidding. they are really nice. oh Mark got a hair cut. it looks really good. but he doesnt like it that much, and i told him he looked like Mark off of Blink 182 ( which he does even though hes 35 ) and hes like really? and i am gonna bring him a pick of Mark to proove it lol. well i leave soon. we leave next thursday. were gonna go to Missouri to see our family like we do every year. im gonna miss going to guitar for....well im only gonna miss once!! WHOOO HOOO!!! im so happy!! well im gonna go b/c im gonna post this question thing next so hold on! later

Current mood: blah
Current music: Chop Suey by System Of A Down 1 Help put it back on Guitar string broke

Saturday, June 19, 2004

2:38AM - Yea Anyways...

I am so incredibly bored im going insane. I sware I am. My mind is turning into paste and is slipping slowy away. If I don't go to someones house or have a friend over or something soon, im going to die. Oh yeah I got the new New Found Glory CD the other day....and its already scratched...that ticks me off so gonna take it back b.c it was scratched when I got it...they BETTER give me a new one. IF they don't im going shove the CD down the persons throat until they give me one. Don't under-estimate me. Cuz I will do it. I think im going to die. Im SO bored. I was screwing around and I un-tuned my guitar, and I can't get it back in tune now. This annoys me. I think im going to shoot someone something. God I wish I had a gun. I would be outside shooting random things. I wanna go Dove hunting. Have you guys eer done that before? Its fun. You should try it sometime.

Im going insane. Literally. Someone save me.

OK....I really think im going insane now...Just a second ago I busted out laughing, and there's nothing funny around me or that im looking at. Im mental. Well I have $35 out of $640 or something like that. Well the Gibson is $649 and the Epiphone is $360. I want the Gibson....I dont want a copy of it. I want the REAL thing. So now I have to work longer and harder to get more money. Just for $360 I have to work for 61 think of how much i will have to work...This really sucks. But I want it. I think im going to sell some of my stuff on ebay to make some more money. Yeah I might do that. It also says you can make monthley Payments too. I think im gonna do that also!! ok im all set. I just gotta find another job to do...Maybe Mom will let me wash cars or something I don't know. I'll find something though...soon. Im gonna go look now, Later.

This better work...Stupid people who make it so much money...Stupid....

Current mood: bored
Current music: Gimme Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynyrd Guitar string broke

Friday, June 11, 2004


omfg Cameron asked me out!!!! we take turns thinking bout sumthing to talk about and he was like "ok i have sumthing to ask you.....hold on i gotta get in the zone" and it took him forever and finally he said "ok i got it.....will you go out with me?" and i went "yeah" and hes like "cool" hey i gotta go....later

Current mood: happy
Current music: No Music. Guitar string broke

Thursday, June 10, 2004

2:00AM - Hey guys........ : ) : ) : ) : )

omg ive never been this happy!!! I just got off the phone with Cameron. and he was talking about how his friend called him a "pussy" because he hasnt asked me out. and Cameron told him that he said he wanted to get to know me first, and that he was probably gonna ask me out at guitar lessons on wednesday!!!! OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!!!!!!! im so happy you guys!! and like i said hes not a thats good too!!!! maybe this time my mom will let me to go the mall by myself! its not like im gonna do anything. im only 13 man. thats dumb. oh did i tell you i can play the intro of Wild Thing? well i say Wild Thang lol....yeah sooo.....anyways....if Cameron asks me out, then i think im going to faint. but i'll be ok. because i really like him. we have SSOO much in common itsn ot funny!!!! like we both love guitar ( thats a givin ), we both love south park, we are both lazy lol, we both like the same kind of music, we both like going to the movies, and theres more. lol LOTS MORE. oh yeah and i dont think i told you, but i bought Mark a pad of paper ( well a binger and a pack of paper lol same diff!! ) and hes trying to pay me back. and he said he was gonna buy me this CD that i want. thats so nice. but i guess he told Cameron about it and Cameron said that he was gonna buy it for me!!! ISNT HE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he is, so it doesnt matter what you think. IM SO HAPPY!!!!! can you tell that im happy? lol. well he had to get off the phone because his sister wanted him to go the bank with her. shes 18 and shes married ( or engadged (spelling?) ) and shes pregnant. anyways.....and and another thing we have in common is that we both say "cool cool" lol....its just the littlist things....but it counts. hes so sweet. i could talk to him forever. or just hang out or be with him, it doesnt matter. he is so incredibly nice and sweet and hes SOOOO funny. and he plays guitar REALLY REALLY REALLY good. hes been playing for 5 years. ive only been playing for 5 months LOL. but i dont care. i WILL get better. no matter what im going to MAKE myself get better. anyways....hey well im gonna go and watch tv until he calls me back. wait omg guess wut? he told his friend on the phone "man im fixing to call this really awesome girl" i was like AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok now i really have to go lol later


Current mood: happy
Current music: Always by Blink 182 Guitar string broke

Wednesday, June 9, 2004

12:29PM - Omg.........Im so happy right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey guys......omg i like cameron alot.....he likes me too......i think......he said i was really pretty. and he also said i have beautiful eyes, it was either beautiful or pretty....i dont care....he still said it. hes so sweet. omg. im gonna die. ive never met anyone like him before. hes so incredibly sweet!! i feel like im gonna float away ( as corny as that might sound, its true ) i really hope he asks me out.....i like him alot.....and you know wut else he said? he said "your like me dream girl" how sweet is that??? im so happy right now. and when i told him my last bf cheated on me, hes like "is he nuts?? your really pretty why would he do that" omg.......hes so sweet!!!! and this is a bonus, hes not a perv all the time like all the other guys. i really like him. i hope he likes me the same way as i like him. well if he said all that stuff to me.....maybe he does like me....i hope he does....well i gotta call him tomorrow at 12 or 1.....thats when i wake up lol. but im gonna wake up early so i can call him! im gonna go to bed earlier than i already do.....i go to bed at 2:30 or 3 in the i think im gonna go to bed at 12 or 1....its 11:25 right now so im gonna go to bed in 30 mins so i can call him tomorrow......i wish you guys knew how happy i am right now.....i think im going to float im not high....well yes i high on being happy. im gonna go to bed now....later

Current mood: happy
Current music: Nothing but the sound of me being happy.
Guitar string broke

9:00AM - I DID IT!!!

I GAVE CAMERON THE NOTE!!!!!!!! well i gave it to Mark to give to such a wuss when it comes to guys that i like lol. well at least he knows my number and my email address now, so he can talk to me. i hope he does.....i wanna talk to him soo bad!!!!! yeah he can play guitar really really good..... : ) thats a bonus lol.....Mark said he would be really happy lol...i hope he is....*crosses fingers* omg i am so nervous, everytime the phone rings i freak out and turn off my music and breath and then pick it up slowly lol. god i want him to IM me or call me so bad!!!! GOD!!!! oh guess wut?? Mark gave me the tab for the intro of Wild Thang!!!! haha!! i LOVE that song man...its all good....good times good times lol....i swear im gonna live there, i LOVE that place so much!! yeah....i can see it they wont hire me. maybe they will. well when ig et old enough to work we'll see if they do, and if they dont then i guess thats ok....and if they do then im going to be happy for the rest of my life. lol. hey well i will update when Cameron calls me or IMs know i will.....later

Current mood: excited
Current music: The Party Song by Blink 182 Guitar string broke

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