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"love will keep us together...STOP CAUSE I REALLY LOVE U..STOP IVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU...:D FOREEEVER!" haha..[its an oldies insdier with karla]
grr okay so last night i didnt go to bed till like 4:30ish woke up at 5:30 al ldispriented then fell bak asleep at 7:00 woke up at freaking 12:30. :/ ugh so ya didnt get much rest but thought about it & was liek forget it im over it, im thankful for the rest i got! so ya while iwas up all yesterday mronign i made a list of things theat help me sleep, things that keep me awake & what i need to try. CALM DWN ok sooooo its all in myh ead..basically. its sooo stupid, liek if u read my life ull be liek OK ADRI UR NOT GONNA DIE! lol...ugggggh. idk what the hells wrong with mebut i feel liek if i go to bed im not gonna wake up for some reason?! liek its beyoooooooond ridiculious it sounds stupid, even i think its dumb, but its real to me, when im lying down fallign asleep, its liek BAM i wake myself up to know im stil lalive! LOL...its funny but its not its annoying..idk man idk!! like its just ugh. whatever theres other reasons but its all mostly like based aroudn that..i just start thinking to much. ugh. so anyways i made the list which is good cause from what ive read u need to kno WHY ucant sleep, thats a biiiig help in being able to get over insomnia. blah ok newys point is, all day i was online doign my stupid tabc thing for work, cause ya i stilll have not worked! lol then i called work wen i got it & hes liek ITS TOO LATE TO COME IN, CALL ME TOM WE CAN DISCUSS IT IM REALYL BUSY. liek um ok. honestly liek i do not care anymore if i get fired. there sooo ugh. whatever. anyways so the ni decided to just take life one day at a freakign time. the way i used too!!! before...i DONT EVEN KNOW BEFOR WHAT!! thats just it thats whats soo damn annoying! like where the hell did my strength go and my not giving a shit bout nethign and just LOVING LIFE nad being so FREAKING OPTIMISTIC BOUT EVERYTHING?! like im still all those dont get me wrong like the majority of the time, id say a good 85% of the time i am. i try reallly hard to just put everyhtign past me, and just smile and be ahppy but i guess im annoyed at the rest of the 15%. its like GRR GO AWAY! ugh ok im annoyed right now but earlier today iwas actually incredibly happy and calm!! ..ok so then i got dressed got in my car and went to buy my moms gift then i piked up subway cus everyone to busy to eat with me! THATS ANOTHER THING IM ALWAYS ALONE WEN I FEEL LIEK SHIT! like wen im all WHOO ALL HAPPY like all of a sudden everyoens free andwere hanging out but WHEN IM ALL LIEK FUK THE WORLD I HATE EVERYTHIGN IM SO DEPRESSED..everyones liek at work and shit! like okkk i call my aunt! LOl literally i call my aunt cause im all loner & shes real badasss & incredibly optimistic so we go workout. so anyways i picked up subway came home and started watchign princess diaries which is beyond funny for real..well i ahad the giggles so ya and i was sooo incredibly tired i wanted to just NAP! but all the articles say NOT to nap during the day..so i didnt, ended up at karlas. calm dwn on the way over there they were giving badass oldies on 107.9. HAHA iwas danving awayyyy like and some guy had liek roleld dwn his window and was watchign me like laffing & i was liek WHOOOO haha..idc!! :D he was like laffing with me not at me..for realll!! like u culd tell. haha aywass so then em & karla take off to the guys house early cause iw anted to come home early & AT LEAST TRY to get some kind of sleep cycle. so we i was there at the party for like 2 hours , calm dwn it was getting packed..but i decided to come home at 12:30! CALLLLM DWNNN! i walked in & my parents were up & i was like ITS SAT. AND ITS 12:30...IM USALLY GOING OUT AT THIS TIME OR GETTING DRESSED..NOT COMING HOME :D..i was all happy. lol.. so i come home like take a hot bath, freaking make my bed all cozy, my dad makes my tea. WHICH IS NOT THE TEA I USUALLY DRINK ITS THE TEA FROM FREAKING 2 SUMEMRS AGO THAT JUST REMINDS ME OF THAT SUMMER AND WHATEVER..BTU HES LIEK noo its the same thing its better, its realyl calming..OK NO ITS NOT! IM ALL WIDE AWAKE..LIKE I DRANK THE WHOEL THING I MOVED FROM MY ROOM TO MY BROTHERS, BAK TO MY ROOM..TURNED OFF THE LGIHTS, TURNED THE LIGHTS BAK ON, WOKE UP TOBY...UGH.im voer it. idc nemore about sleeping i just ugh. if i cant get a sleep cycle by the time school starts this sumemr i need to drop my mornign class. theres just no way i can do it!....idk what to do anymore. like i got curad de susto from my grandma already cause i thought maybe it was form my accident and the trip to the hospital, and it worked for like the first week, i was fallign asleep...but its like it comes and goes, like two weeks ago i was falling [just heard my dads alram..great another night of fallign asleep with my mom!] asleep by like 1:30 every night for like 3 nights!..annnd if i drink i knokco ut! BUUUUUT i do not like to drink and i WILL NOT drink to fall asleep. it shortens ur life, annnd alll the tips on sleeping day not to do it! :sigh: ok i need a freaking massage! i need ...a massage. thats what i need right now, im gonna just stay awake and not go into work i DO NOT care, like ive told him time and time a...OK WHY AM I TLAKING BOUT 2MRW!! ...no more 2mrws. right now im annoyed but im gonna get over it & wrap my mosm gift & drink some water and try fallign asleep again..if not then ill just wait one mroe hour till five go to my gramsa [apparently here going at five o celbrate mothers day? wierd i kno but whatever..im gonna be up] and ask my aunt for a massage. :D...there thats wat im doing. i do not care bout 2mrw..even tho its already 2mrw. i need to take each day as it comes ALL THE TIME..not half of the time or 85% of the time. ALL THE TIME.
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