Thursday, May 11th, 2006
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11:22 am
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hey girlies, sorry i havent been around. i dont get net axcess in my house. i miss you and your posts terribly!
good news, ive lost 10 pounds!
<3 sarah
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
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10:49 pm
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Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
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11:34 am
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ok, im having a 700 calorie day.
doin good so far.
i seriously need to get back on track.
and it feels good to say no.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
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4:13 pm
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ive lost 5 pounds.
i recommend the book called Wasted - a memoir of anorexia and bulimia. im on my second round of reading it.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 24th, 2006
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4:10 pm
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yesterday:
ate 350 cals
burned 600 (about)
today:
ate 380 cals
burned 600 (about)
doin good. just no more than 400 cals a day.
and hour long workouts.
yay!
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
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7:42 pm - hotbody contest!
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so me and 4 of my friends are having a hot body contest. it ends may 31st.
which means i need to lose ohhhh 30 pounds by then. haha.
we'll see just how much i lose.
anyways, whoever looks the best at the end gets our celebration vacation payed for.
i go this one. its in the bag.
now i REALLY have motivation. a hot body and a payed vacation!?
why would i pass this up?
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(comment on this)
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4:08 pm
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look whos baaaaackkk!
fuck you ana. no wait, im kidding. i love you and i cant live without you. destroy me again, please.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, January 9th, 2006
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11:50 am
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Saturday, January 7th, 2006
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9:43 pm
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9:42 pm
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well fuck. i hate wendys for dinner.
oh well.
tomorrow is weigh in.
hopefully the food i ate will do something to boost my
metabolism since ive eaten so littel lately.
damn.
hahah ah well.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, January 6th, 2006
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9:49 pm
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most recent weigh in went really good. i was scared though. but ive lost about 5 lbs this month so far and my goal was 12. hah im sure ill get there. it feels so good to meet a goal.
today so far:
coffee - 20
soup - 120
orange - 85
apple - 100
total - 325
but im sure ill eat dinner to get to that 500..although 325 is a lovely number.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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12:37 am
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today:
salad - 110
soup - 100
yogurt - 100
apple - about 100
vitamins - 10
orange - 60
coffee - 20
total - 500
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, January 5th, 2006
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11:02 am
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my heart feels funny today. just not consistant or something.
weigh in today before i shower. im nervous.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
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6:48 pm - Subject: (optional, for use on longer entries)
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today:
apple - 100
diet coke - 0
noodle soup - 290
maybe a yogurt later? - 90
total - 480
and it feels good.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
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11:00 pm - beetterrr
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11:52 am - fuck me
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i cannot believe the number i saw on the scale today. i nearly cried.
and im going to make a list of things i need to do daily.
the amount of cals im going to eat or the amount i did eat
exercise (when my foot heals)
apply lotion
drink lots of tea
take vitamin C and a vitmain supplement
and im sure ill have other things to add to the list later
ok i think ill throw up now
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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1:22 am - got sleep?
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Friday, December 30th, 2005
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4:37 pm - its a new year so get with the program.
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Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
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10:29 pm - we all hate this part
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im not a huge reader. about...oh i dunno, maybe a year ago? year and 1/2. has it really been that long? it was around the time when i started this sick starving habit. but time has nothing to do with it...not that this entry really has a point anyway. and im already rambling. my mom does that. theres always at least one thing a girls mother does that she prays to God she wont inheret as the years pass. and for me, its the fact my mom rambles. i talk to her on the phone and what could be said in 30 seconds tops somehow ends up being drug out for 10 minutes. but its completely unavoidable. shes a talker, and i will be to. wait, where was i...shit.
about a year and 1/2 ago, i went through this reading stage. i only had 3 classes my senior year in high school so much of my time was spent either running, talking on the internet for hours, or inside the walls of barnes and noble. yeah, the books are over priced, but i liked it there; it was a good escape. and since all my friends, well, the ones i had left, were still at school, running into people i knew was almost impossbile. sometimes i simply hate bumping into people i know. i just pray that if i come across someone i know, i see them before they see me and i can just dodge the whole situation by looking down and quickly tip-toeing to the non-ficition section. id spend hours in that store walking up and down the isles for a good read. i must have bought 10 books and to this day ive only finished 2 of them. ive started them all, but quit after the first 2 unless i was intrigued.
i cant sleep tonight. maybe after letting it all out my brain will willingly take a break for a few hours. i went to my closet and picked out one of those books i bought a year and 1/2 ago. its called 'like the red panda'. not really sure what the title means, but maybe thats the point in reading the book.
i rarely drink. but when i do its like, oh heyyyy look, shot glasses full of alcohol. ill take 3. and on an empty stomach for that matter. eight shots later, you find yourself plastered half naked against your best guy friend, tounge down his throat, hand where it shouldnt be, and buzzed by not just the alcohol but more off the words we cant seem to get enough of, i love you. ive said that many times in a drunked stooper. it just felt different this time. no, im not in love with him. but i do love him. because hes my best friend. he must have told me 3 times that he loved me. and what girl doesnt want to hear those words from a guy thats kissing your neck and whispering in your ear and touching your hair and playing with your fingers. but we stopped because we knew our friendship meant more than fooling around, not matter how cliche that may sound. like i said, i love him.
i just cant get my mind off of last night. and i just feel lonely right now. mayeb its that my 3 roomates are all gone and im here alone. all of my friends have gone back "home." except one. my best guy friend who i cant get out of my mind.
blah. im really not trying to play the poor pitiful me card, really.
and this entry isnt about food even though its my "i have and ed and no one understands me so here i am, agree with me, console me, encourage me to be more thin" journal.
but it is MY journal.
so fuck you.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
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4:40 pm
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