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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Schizophrenic Problemchild's Blurty:
| Wednesday, August 6th, 2003 | |
| 10:32 pm | ...Urban Loner... I am pissed off at you Mikael, thanks alot. You really made me happy, fucking damnit. Current Mood: Extremely cranky |
| Thursday, July 31st, 2003 | |
| 10:09 pm | ....Wait for me heaven, I'm coming soon.... I've waited this for a long time, now he finally did it. Damn I love this stuff. Why would I be disappointed? Promises are made for making them empty. Hehe, this is tragic but also comic. I really tried to believe him. I think I wasted my time. 8 months of being together, for these over three months I waited that I'd see him again. Heh. I will die anyways... Current Mood:  disappointed |
| 10:06 pm | .....Times of pain and cry..... It's time to fulfill that what I haven't done a long time: Cry. Current Mood: Suicidal |
| Sunday, July 27th, 2003 | |
| 4:44 pm | ....I am nothing.... ... Current Mood: Empty |
| Friday, July 25th, 2003 | |
| 3:21 pm | ....Seek for the land from the endless sea.... Another drunknight this will be. Nighty night. Current Mood:  cheerful |
| 12:06 am | ...A disgusted devil in disguise.... I'm drunk and I hate being myself. Blah go to hell with all your fake smiles or your fake friendship Current Mood: Eeny weeny drunk |
| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003 | |
| 3:02 pm | ....Following the old traces.... Does really anything matter? Is anything real anymore? If you loved someone as a friend or as a partner, it seems it doesn't matter. In the end, why it should make a huge scene in your life? The highlights of life: being in love? And what the heck is being in love? Lyrical inspiration... -F.O.O.L- Running around Like the final day has come Everything has to be ready Everything has to be done Ten years before, this was for Santa Now, this all is for her You sit calmly and waiting Lady Nothing. Fuck up Out of the sight Out tearing Lay down a while and piss off. Current Mood: Untouchable fuck up |
| Monday, July 21st, 2003 | |
| 8:41 pm | ...Narrowmindness, a gift or not?.... Are there any ''good'' claims to explain the human behavior? What kind of world is that where the Robocop can express his feelings better than the humanbeing? Tired sigh of the weak humanbeing. Current Mood:  confused |
| Sunday, July 20th, 2003 | |
| 8:52 pm | .....How to choose the right solution?..... Who can be the judge? The one who knows the rules and regulations or the one who feels what is the right thing to do? Justice for all? How to use them? As Gandalf said (don't know if it's the right translate but forgive me that) ''Even the wisest can't see in the end'' Blah,bored if I start to play with quotes.. Current Mood: Bored and suicidal Current Music: Lollipop Lust Kill:Ted |
| 4:32 pm | .....I cry, when angels deserve to die.... Ok, I must be a wrong person to live in this world I assume. Remember, never EVER again get involved with ''friend's'' ex teenage girlfriend. Never deliver a message from her, you just might ask the wrong question. It's ridiculous..In my opinion... Blah. More next time. Current Mood:  angryCurrent Music: None. |
| Saturday, July 19th, 2003 | |
| 2:25 pm | ...Shine will not come my way yet, I don't know if it ever will.... I love my negative feelings, hehe. Nah, it's ridiculous, cause I only make it worser and blame others. I think it's people's way to make yourself a better person, not guilty. Unfortunately I have still my conscience. Life is this, life is that. So self-defeating I am. Self-immolation, tempting but so painful. That sounds ''rather gothic''. I'm tired to getting hurt (well who wouldn't but this is my moment to vent). Silent voice which shows my vulnerable mind and the eyes of anger which tries to protect the inner self. I once was something, now I claim to myself to be nothing to me. Nothing to anyone. Beautiful personality, my ass. I really don't believe in that, that just can't be possible to have. The outside can be beautiful, but mind, full of weakness and dreams which are rip apart,taken away possibilities to develope out innerself. When you become cynical, you really don't have any better feeling. You just suffer from ''when dad gave me disillusions''-symptom. Someone took your lollipop when you were 6 and you bawled your eyes out. Time hurts everyone. Current Mood: Guilty but critical Current Music: Blutengel:Warriors of destiny |
| Wednesday, July 16th, 2003 | |
| 10:47 pm | ......A distance to my trust there is..... If I truly hate something, that is weakness, day by day I have to follow my own mistakes/weaknesses and I become more angry. I just want to be forgotten, forever. And yes, for these few days, I don't do any longer entries. Current Mood: Wants to be forgotten Current Music: PoisonBlack:Love infernal |
| Tuesday, July 15th, 2003 | |
| 11:40 pm | ....Sighs of the desperate voice..... I want to die. Current Mood: Extremely suicidal |
| Monday, July 14th, 2003 | |
| 11:53 pm | ....The scent of the necrophilraper.... Today is the day when everything goes wrong. Today is the day when I regret that I ever borned. Today is the day when I want to puke everything out. Today is the day when I don't want anyone in my life. Today is the day when I don't take my drugs. Today is the day when I see a dream that the world crumbles down. Today is the day when I don't want to see tomorrow. Today is the day when I want someone creative person to slit my throat and throw my body to the fire. That I could burn peacefully. Can't beat the feeling Can't feel the beating Current Mood: Extremely suicidal Current Music: Apocalyptica:Somewhere around nothing |
| Sunday, July 13th, 2003 | |
| 11:48 pm | ....Lyrical Inspiration.... -For her- Her eyes seems to glow in the dark... As I open slightly her lonely..waiting lips... Once she was declined Closed to being loveless.. This was her moment now... I yearned on her ear... Whispered the word of mourn to her... ..the same time I slide my tongue on her throat.. feeling the cold sphere in her.. Holded her hand in mine... My passionate lover... My sweet decadent Cleopatra. Current Mood: passionate Current Music: Black Tape For A Blue Girl:Wings tattered, fallen |
| 9:34 pm | .....Lyrical Inspiration..... -Under- Down the foundation... Under the mess and corruption... Diaries of the loner... Torn and rip apart... Mother Misery... Father Loser.... Hollow romance... Nothing lasts forever. Labyrinth of lust. The time for you has adjusted. Hellcome to the future. Current Mood: Mysterious Current Music: Apocalyptica:Somewhere around nothing |
| 12:30 pm | .....My cover, my shelter..... And still I'm as vulnerable as I was before. ''Smile- and the world smiles with you. Cry- and you cry alone'' Sad but true. I don't exactly agree with the smile part. Smile and immediately you're stupid or snob. Am I really that negative? Current Mood: Dark Current Music: Metallica:Sad but true |
| Saturday, July 12th, 2003 | |
| 8:15 pm | ....Lyrical Inspiration.... -Runner- Between the lines.. of normal and sick... shallows my shape... my mouth shut with black tape... I don't know which is the right side.. Hanging there... As the moonbeam hits to the water... consuming a tide... Lurking silhouette... exhausted.. can you feel the poisoned breath? can you hear the distorted us beneath? what did you see? A flash beyond my eyes... A new dimension... I took my drugs... I still didn't change I can't lose anything with this... Schizophrenic's life anyone won't miss. Current Mood: True angst Current Music: Paradise Lost:World pretending |
| 5:04 pm | Dull people need sharp objects. Individualisti-käsite. ''Hei! Olen punk, olen erilainen'' ''Hei! Olen gootti, olen vielä erilaisempi'' Hei, minä olen ihminen, omaan aina erilaisia typeryyksiä. Massaihminenkin on luultavasti keksitty teenage-foorumeissa tyydyttämään pikkuisten luulot itsestään. Kuka helvetti voi määritellä täydellisesti massaihmisen? Jokainen omalla tavallaan on näkymätön. Toiset vain koittavat tehdä itsestään isoa numeroa ettemme vain erehtyisi unohtamaan häntä. Tosiaan, minähän aion muistella ihmisiä jotka kävelivät ohitseni n. 2 vuotta sitten vain koska heillä oli irokeesit. Elämä on jännää eikö totta? Saatan jopa nähdä ihmisen joka on TÄYSIN erinäköinen kuin minä, joten hänhän on todella erilainen ja erikoinen. Tässäkin voimme todeta, elämä on jännää. Eniten minä inhoan baarissa iskijöitä. Se on niin säälittävää ja surkuhupaisaa. En väitä ettenkö itse olisi, mutta kuka sanoi että liikun baareissa tai sen tapaisissa paikoissa. Voi olla että kriittiset näkemykseni johtuvat ihan siitä kun itse pidän omasta rauhasta. Universaali rakkaus ei ole näköjään luotu minulle. Current Mood: dark Current Music: PoisonBlack:Love infernal |
| 2:49 pm | ....I need no saving. I like to stay no one.... Rakkaus... Väärä sana kuvaamaan sitä. Väärä tunne kenenkään tuntea. Solidaarisuuteni alkaa olla todella vähäisessä määrässä kaiken suhteen. Mitä väliä itseasiassa rakkaudella ikinä onkaan ollutkaan? Ainoa hyöty mitä olen siitä että voin uskotella olevani jollekkin tärkeä. Vaikka sen jälkeen kun kaikki loppuu, ei millään ikinä ollutkaan mitään väliä. Suututtaa niin julmetusti se että minun pitäisi leikkiä mukavaa tyttöystävää vaikka oikeastaan tahdon vuotaa kunnolla loppuun asti, kyllä vähän dramatiikkaa elämään. En malta odottaa kun tietouteni kehittyy siihen suuntaan mihin sen pitäisikin. Repaleinen on mieleni, eksyksissä ovat silmäni. Tahdon poistaa kaiken mikä satuttaisi minua. Kukapa toisaalta ei haluaisi. Olla rauhassa. Tuosta Sullivanin biisistä voisi tehdä hienon coverin. Tai sitten ei. Current Mood: dark Current Music: Gilbert O'Sullivan:Alone again (naturally) |