 |
Journal | Friends | Calendar | User Info | Memories |
Melissa's Journal
well lots has happened.. good.. bad.. but all in all.. i am still single grrrrrrrrr... slept with a few guys.. frank.. ugh no fun..
paul... TOO FRIGGIN HOT IN BEDDDDDDDDD!! best sex in a long time!
and a few others...
lots of traveling for work.. kansas ( i won an award for manager of the year.. yea!) hartford.. atlanta.. lansing.. grand rapids.. tenn.. ohio.. and lots more...!!
i am talking to a few guys right now.. mike.. he is awesome.. older 40 year old.. very sweet!!..
keith he is a fireman in queens good kisser...
john he is very nice a lil geeky..
Current mood:
sleepy.Current music: nina sky spanish song.
ok lets see.. me and brian are still hanging out.. hmm i like him a real lot... he just got home from vegas today and i am talking with him right now.. ok guys
lets see we have Jose.. a cop in bronx.. met him last friday (23rd i believe or 22nd) we had sex in my store lol bad bad bad.. he is hot though.. then saturday night the (23rd or 24th) i met a new man...
went to a family reunion down the road from my house.. tara's house.. me and my sister were the only two white chicks there everyone was black or spanish :-P.. hehe well i got volunteered to be the bar tender.. which was a lot of fun and well by the end of the night i was WASTED and had 12 new numbers in my cell phone.. phone book.. hehehe one of which is dan
dan is hot.. spanish.. PR.. HOT we keep trying to hang out.. but we have bad timing.. we never get to hang out because he is always getting off work like 1am or later.. damn i am usually sleeping.. so it sucks.. but we will and he is soooooooo hot..
ok then we have Walter AKA Butch.. he is ok.. i guess.. decided he isnt my type.. he is a motorcycle dude.. he works for harley davidson.. hmm soooooo not me.. we fooled around a lil.. nothing special.. i think i wont ever see him again...
last but oh so not least is Ben (he is spanish also.. lol three of them this week.. damn thats more then i have ever had in my life time.. woo hoo me..).. met him last night (7-31) at Genie's sweet 15 *they are el salvadorian* HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIGGIN HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! omg... we did lots of kissing and snuggling and cuddling.. hmm he is hot.. i wanted to do him so bad last night.. but my niece and nephews were around.. blahs....
ok thats the guy update for the week.... this week should be more quiet then last hehehe no more men for me!!
Current mood: 
horny.
Current music: whateve spanish music you can find.
Ok Lets update.... Brian! hmmmmmm! I want him so badly!!!!! we have hung out twice.. the first time lots of sex.. second time (he is great at oral) we didnt have sex because he was too nervous doing it in the car outside.. because we were just tooo horny to get anywhere.. but then i dont hear from him for a week or two..?!?! explain that.. same thing happened last time.. we go out.. go out to dinner.. do stuff for hours.. then we make out or have sex.. and then i dont hear from him for a week or two.. i hate that.. he is so hot and i know he is going through a lot of shit.. but god damn it.. i dont like not hearing from him at all.. it pisses me off... makes me hate men all together!!!! ok i guess thats it for now..
oh and draggie gave me a reading.. all good news.. everything is going to change for me it said... positive stuff going to be happening in my life.. all the bad will turn to good and i will soon find the one man of my dreams.. YEA! hehehe ok i think i need to go back to bed now.. :-P buh byes i sleepies
Current mood:
sleepy.Current music: lullaby and goodnight.
ok since karl and i broke up early may.. kimbers fault i have dated several men... here we go..
Kevin.. enviromental scientist knew him from parsnips from back in the day. slept with him once he is way to big for me.. his dick is huge!..
Tom.. he is a cop.. vice cop in gambleing again same issue as with kevin.. his dick is too big for lil ol me..
then we have Tony.. Tony come on guess what he does.. he is a cop in brooklyn we hung out he was an asshole.. had a nice sized dick though lol..
next we have Sean in insurance.. nice guy.. we hung out a few times.. he treated me like gold.. one issue.. he has no dick at all.. its literally the size of a tampon if that.. and once he cums it goes back inside.. if i wanted a chick i would suck on a clit.. i wanna dude with a dick!
lets see then we had joe.. another cop... too possesive.. wanted me to be at his beck and call 24/7.. yea.. no! not me!!!...
then next to last is brian.. what can i say.. i could definitly fall in love with him if he didnt have so many issues.. brian was a cop.. retired and just divorced last month with two small children under the age of 4.. not ideal... and he has issues.. BUT AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME in bed.. did i say awesome? just issues.. sadly! we went out so romantic.. took me to dinner and to the mall to walk around and to the beach were we kissed until the cops kicked us out.. and then went back to his place and had amazing sex. he didnt cum for 3 hours... (constant fucking for 3 hours) amazing!
ok finally we have the hottie.. Mick straight off the boat from ireland and into the NYPD! gotta love him.. he is the hottest guy in the world.. and a damned good kisser but seems kim fucked this one up too.. so we will see where this leaves me.. oh
and from what i hear from kim.. karl wants to get back together.. he realized (a lil late) that he loves me and wants to be with me.. guys are jack asses sometimes dontcha know...
Current mood: horny.
Current music: do me baby!.
sorry i havent written in quiet sometime.. life has been insane.. grandpa died which has totally devasted me and made me really depressed and such.. and well my ex killed himself.. and la la la.. well I am seeing this guy karl now.. he is amazing in bed.. and again as always i cant figure out how to tell him i want more.. as always i agree to no relationship.. because i dont want one.. but then a few months into it.. I want permant! le sigh.. i just give up i guess.. i really dont know.. and as for john.. phht.. well! there ya go.. i havent talked to him since a few days after valentines day (karl and i hooked back up on feb 15th)
i just wrote john a letter.. and yes i am pretty damn drunk.. so i hope it makes sense
posting it here.. someone let me know if it does..
I miss you :-D miss talking with you.. i adore you as a friend.. and loved that i could talk with you about stuff..
could still use that sometimes.. :-D lol.. my friends that i see everyday are driving me insane.. and your honest and a good person..
I just dont know what i am saying lol drank way too much.. and just wanted to whine to someone.. cry to ya :-D or something alone those lines.. but guys suck royally!! and piss me off.. LOL as my friend anita says "I would become a lesbien but i dont like girls all that much and girl, girl problems are more intense then girl, guy problems cause guys are easily fooled by sucking their dicks..." LOL isnt that the truth!!! no clitty cats for me.. I am strictly dickly..
I went to a metallica concert last nite at nassua colliseum and thought of you and how you would have loved the show.. It was good.. godsmack was there also.. (the opener) i just hated that everyone was smoking pot (not my style) but me and my friend had fun and he paid for the tickets which was a huge bonus! LOL..
well yes i miss you and well i guess i will stop saying that.. hehe cause i never hear back from you and i know we are both busy and i dont wanna bother you with my bullshit.. just me being drunk right now makes me icky and wanna cry and so i do and then wanna talk to people i care about..
i still consider you a good friend.. and yes like you a lot as a friend.. does this letter make any sense at all..??
i feel so blah.. the beach was beautiful tonite as me and my friend went down there to go drinking and stuff.. (was very cold though.. didnt like that fact)
ok i am gonna go shut up now and go to bed cause i have work early in the morning :-D and blahs to that..
much wove..
lol.. oh and i was just thinking about the amazing sex we had on top of my old car after the poision show.. good shit doll..!! your cool!
wove
Melissa...
god knows.. as for karl.. he gives me sexually what i want.. (every day for hours..) but other then that its pretty boring yea we go to concerts and games and stuff.. but never out to dinner.. or to a movie.. or anything like that.. mainly sex and i sleep there almost ebery nite..
he is awesome in bed also! meow!!
Ok thats it for now.. I am gonna try and update this thing more often.. I think its important for me to get my feelings out.. OHHHHHHHH
I did a spell and it wasnt very bright and
I hope karl didnt cum in me last nite (I was a lil fucked up) cause i am not on BC and if he does.. he is DEAD!!
Current mood: 
drunk.
Current music: nothing.
i am so lost.. so depressed..
I feel like i have lost everything!
my heart.. my soul.. and the only man i have ever loved in my entire life..
he raised me and my sister.. he was everything to us!!
and to see him how bad he was these last few months killed..
but he kept telling us he was strong..
when did he ever give up he said
and now he is gone!!
and they let him die..
he said he wanted the nose feeding tube.. grandma said no
so when he couldnt feed himself anymore they let him starve..
no moniters no nothing.. she signed hospice! he said he wanted to live.. to fight.. i hate her for this
and i am so angry they are making it like a party!
grandma is glad he is gone.. she even said it.. she couldnt wait.. she bought a new house in florida and a new car.. and is spending money like crazy now that he has passed away.. she is a bitch.. a miserable bitch
i miss him so much.. and all the stuff he said in the hospital when i last saw him keeps haunting me.. because he was fine.. now he is gone.. less then a week! and then i feel bad.. could i have done more.. could i could i could i.. its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so angry and lost! i dont know what to do! i have never lost anyone like this.. hell i saw my best friend killed before my eyes and didnt take it as hard as this.. this man was my entire universe...
here is the link from the funeral home.. his video thingy..... its so heart breaking
http://www.mem.com/movie/movie.asp?ID=432383&mm=0
i made a beautiful picture.. i just dont know how to get it on here to show it
ok now i am a blabbering ball of tears.. so i am gonna stop!
Current mood:
depressed.Current music: lou monte's i have an angel in heaven.
ok lets update this thingy heh its been awhile.. lets see.. love work.. love life.. like john way toooo much for words.. and ugh.. hmm yes.. i feel icky today i have a soar throat.. and i drank.. hehe whatelse is new.. michelle still being a bad influence on me.. of course.. and le sigh.. i wish john would commit.. i finally got him to admit we are dating.. thats a step in the right direction... :-D i just like him way to much.. lets see if maybe one day the feeling will be the same.. for now.. gods knows...!! and grandpa is very sick.. the only man i have ever loved and i am lossing him.. he seemed so depressed the other day when i went to go see him in the hospital it tore my heart out.. I hate to see him like that.. and he is such a strong man.. i hope he can beat this.. no no no i KNOW he can! he is strong.. he is my staple in life.. and there are so many things i have promised him.. and he better be around for me to fufill them :( like he was going to walk me down the aisle if and when i got married.. if anything was to happen to him i dont know what I would do.. and and.. my children if i have any will never know how an amazingly great guy grandpa tom is! aand just hundreds of other lil iddy biddy things.. he will not be there for.. it kills me and i am so heart broken and heartsick over it.. :( gods he will never meet the man i am going to marry... he will never give him his blessing.. i will never get his approval on the man... just breaks my heart into so many peices.. and makes me so depressed.. oh well.. next
had to add something else here since well i added it twice... so :-P
Current mood:
sad.Current music: back that ass up!.
ok well I really really like john.. I dont think the feeling is all tha mutual.. i dont get that from him for some reason.. I just might be acting paranoid.. he says he likes me.. he says he likes hanging out with me.. but we dont hang out often.. but he did introduce me to his friends.. which i know is a big thing... sigh i dont know!!!! yes me and mike are over finally.. and i am so happy.. though i feel bad for how it happened i am glad its over.. i was such a wreck though.. i hit a car on the way to go have sex with john.. hehe we went to see elf it was so good...!!!!! I like him a lot.. and i wanna tell him.. but we both agreed no relationship :( what the heck to do :( horrible.. i can go sit in the corner and cry now boo hoo hehehe
Current mood:
sad.Current music: back that ass up!.
me and john finally had sex!!!! october 18-19th for 7 hrs.. hehe absolutly amazing he is the best i have ever had.. we first went to go see bret michaels from poison he looked a lil old.. lol.. and john was all over me..I like him so much.. he kept saying how beautiful i am and such.. and met his friends.. we drove his friends home and he kissed me.. hmmm very good.. first soft then harder.. and fingered me.. i came so fast.. he is amazing.. then we had a lil sex.. and moved out of the car onto the trunk that didnt work so well.. then back in the car.. then onto the hood of the car.. that worked well.. oh he fucks so good..!! then back in the car.. then back on the hood.. he is amazing..!! really is!!! I can not get enough of him!! he is so sweet.. and he is kisses aweome.. MEOW.. finally we had anal sex.. heh cant even tell you how many times i came.. it was too many and none stop..!! he is the best!
Current mood:
flirty.Current music: who cares we finally slept together!.