Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in *Honey*'s Blurty:

Thursday, March 27th, 2003
12:36 am	First of all, I've been drinkin and smokin... Today is Mariah Carey's birthday! Yaaay!!! Shout out to my fellow lambs!!! :) Yesterday (actually, for me, it would be today...) I was 2 minutes away from dumpin my boyfriend. Fuckin, he wanted me to go to his house, so I got there, and he was busy the whole time helpin his boy move. I'm not pissed about the fact that he was helpin his boy, I'm pissed because he asked me to come over and then didnt even spend any time with me. So then I had to go to a meeting, and told him that i'd be back at his house at like 8:45, and he saidhe'd be home. So I got over there, and his sister and neice said that he was with his boy. So I went over to his boy's house, and his boy's girl told me that they'd just left, but they wouldn't be gone long. So I was PISSED. I was pissed because he wasn't home when he told me he'd be there. I waited for 10 minutes, then decided to smoke a cigarette, and if he wasnt back by the time I was done, I was leaving and not coming back for a long time...if ever... So like right before I was about to put my cigarette out, he came up and tapped on my car window. But I was still pissed... Because the past two times that he's asked me to come over and spend some time with him, he fuckin pays no attention to me at all. That's a fuckin waste of gas and time for me. But anyway, it's my bedtime. I'm about to pass out...lol Current Mood: unsober Current Music: I'm listening to Ignition by R. Kelly (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
12:15 am	I feel so confused... my boyfriend's retarded. I want to love him, but I just can't. I know that I need to end this and find somebody worthy of me, but I'm so afraid. And I don't know why I'm so afraid... I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm an attractive woman, I always catch guys checkin me out. And sometimes they'll be so bold as to tell me that they wanna fuck me. But that's just it... they dont want committment, they just want a piece of ass. Like "wham, bam, thank you ma'am." I mean, one night stands and fuck buddies are nice once in a while, but in the end I usually feel used... and I know I'm so much better than that. I'm attractive, intelligent, funny, kind, and I've just got a great personality. I'm really a good person... a great person... and I know this. But most guys dont even care about that. I sometimes get the impression that my boyfriend doesn't even care... He says he loves me, but sometimes I dont know if I can believe him. He doesnt treat me as well as I deserve to be treated. I almost cheated on him today, and in fact I think I would have if I'd have had more time. Because I really like the guy, but he's got a girlfriend and doesnt seem to have any plans of breaking up with her anytime soon... And even if he did, there's no guarantee that he'd hook up with me. He just likes the booty. But he tells me I'm hot, and calls me "baby." I think the fact that he calls me "baby" is kinda fucked up... like I don't think somebody should give somebody else a cute little "pet name" unless they're dating. But I feel so fucked up because I have a boyfriend, and I tell him I love him, and i do try to love him, but I don't. I mean, sometimes I think I do... It's like a fuckin emotional rollercoaster ride. Ha, that's the story of my life... But anyway, I'm depressing myself now, so I'm going to bed. (Comment on this)