I think dogs can sense things. This is making me happy right now. Mitzi jumped into my bed around 11 this morning and she's still chilling there. I think she knows. And understands. Mitzi is my friend right now.
I'm very disappointed in myself. How can i believe that i have such strong feelings for someone, only to have those feelings disappear a month and a half later? What can i really believe about what i feel for someone? How do i know when it's really real next time and not something that's gonna fade after a month? Did i only date brad because i wanted just to be in a relationship? I thought i was past all that high school crap. How fucking immature am i? I don't believe that he really liked me. Dan says i was probably his security blanket. True, he's never really been without a girlfriend. I'd be filling in his loneliness.
It's funny how your perspective can change in just a few weeks. I have such a clearer idea of what i want! I think i'm actually getting into something with someone because i actually like him. Or, we actually like each other. I feel like this time it's not about loneliness or 'filling a void' or even just hot sex. I feel like this could be the start of something that's gonna change my world drastically. Fuck, he already has. But things are gonna change, in a good way. I'm a little scared. But i think it's more of the excited scared. Like i'm about to go on a rollercoaster. I think it'll be ok.
I think i've vented everything. I feel better.
Looks like i'm by myself today. I'm gonna go enjoy it.
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