HMac's Blurty

(Thinking too much again?)

Subject:	I am in Circa. I am procrastinating.
Time:	10:37 am.
Mood:	caffiene high!.
Music:	tap tap tap of the multitude of keyboards.

It is 10:30. I have been up since 7. I am running on 5 hours of sleep, one large coffee, and one espresso, the latter having done me in. I am jittery and sleepy at the same time. I am having a difficult time typing straight.

However much i complain about it, i enjoy being up early. There's always something nice about the morning; the way it looks, how people walk around all sleepy-like, watching people sleep and snore on the bus. You just don't get these things when you catch the bus at 11 every day. So far this morning, i have learned extensively about the Machivili family and 15th century italy, and how to get from rome to florence.
This excites me. Maya and i will be going on an adventure. The only thing that would excite me more would be if i was taking this adventure by myself. Here's how it works:

Arrive in roma.
Get luggage, go through customs, ect.
Use ATM to get major euros.
Buy tickets to termini and florence.
Find the train to termini.
Take train to termini, find train to florence.
Go to florence
Find taxi, attempt to convey where we want to go.
Arrive at hotel in florence, with hopefully all luggage, and sanity intact.

Keep in mind, when we get to italy, we will have been traveling for 24 hours and neither of us can speak italian. We will be the fabulously dumb american tourists. Fabulous.

Viva Italia!
Love,
Heather

(1 nagging thought | Thinking too much again?)

Time:	9:16 pm.
Mood:	weepy.
Music:	The Cure.

As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

I found out that i have about 230 Euros to spend in italy. My stomach is in knots and i've got the shakes.
I'm sad and i don't want to go anymore. I don't know if that's even enough money to live there for a week, let alone buy the fabulous things i want to for people. There's no point in going anymore. I don't even know if i can send 5 goddamn postcards! I should not be going.

I am sick sick sick of depending on my parents for money! It disgusts me. And my mom! I know the look and the attitude she's gonna give me and i don't know if i can take it. I know she's gonna say something horrible and then i'll do one of three things:
a) sob
b) comeback with some equally mean remark
c) do all of the above
And don't just tell me to get a fucking job! Between failing school, guard, and providing entertainment for you people, i don't have any damn free time as it is. So don't just say it like it's as easy as that! Bastard.
And then!....And then!...Ahhhhh!
Don't get me started.

I'm selling my goddamn eggs! I swear to god, i'm selling all of them to the highest damn bidder!
I never want to worry about money again!