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Blurty for HMac.
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| Friday, April 7th, 2006 |
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I wish i wish i wish I didn't have to worry about money. How nice it would be just to buy things without regard to how much they cost! Why does it feel like all good times must revolve around having money? You're getting so expensive. Maybe i just need people in my life who are just as poor as i am. |
| Sunday, March 19th, 2006 |
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I think dogs can sense things. This is making me happy right now. Mitzi jumped into my bed around 11 this morning and she's still chilling there. I think she knows. And understands. Mitzi is my friend right now. I'm very disappointed in myself. How can i believe that i have such strong feelings for someone, only to have those feelings disappear a month and a half later? What can i really believe about what i feel for someone? How do i know when it's really real next time and not something that's gonna fade after a month? Did i only date brad because i wanted just to be in a relationship? I thought i was past all that high school crap. How fucking immature am i? I don't believe that he really liked me. Dan says i was probably his security blanket. True, he's never really been without a girlfriend. I'd be filling in his loneliness. It's funny how your perspective can change in just a few weeks. I have such a clearer idea of what i want! I think i'm actually getting into something with someone because i actually like him. Or, we actually like each other. I feel like this time it's not about loneliness or 'filling a void' or even just hot sex. I feel like this could be the start of something that's gonna change my world drastically. Fuck, he already has. But things are gonna change, in a good way. I'm a little scared. But i think it's more of the excited scared. Like i'm about to go on a rollercoaster. I think it'll be ok. I think i've vented everything. I feel better. Looks like i'm by myself today. I'm gonna go enjoy it. |
| Friday, March 17th, 2006 |
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This is the first day of my life I swear I was born right in the doorway I went out in the rain Suddenly everything changed They're spreading blankets on the beach Yours is the first face that I saw I think I was blind before I met you I don't know where I am I don't know where I've been But I know where I want to go So I thought I'd let you know These things take forever I especially am slow But I realized that I need you And I wondered if I could come home Remember the time you drove all night Just to meet me in the morning And I thought it was strange You said everything changed You felt as if you just woke up And you said, "This is the first day of my life I'm glad I didn't die before I met you But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you And I'd probably be happy" So if you want to be with me With these things there's no telling We just have to wait and see But I'd rather be working for a paycheck Than waiting to win the lottery Besides, maybe this time it's different I mean I really think you like me |
| Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 |
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i am waiting for something to go wrong i am waiting for familiar results i am waiting for another repeat another diet fed by crippling defeat and i am waiting for that sense of relief i am waiting for you to flee the scene as if you held in your hand the smoking gun and on the floor lay the one you said you loved |
| Monday, March 13th, 2006 |
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I have been looking at all the pictures of my life. It makes me think, how could i not be ready? |
| Friday, March 10th, 2006 |
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This year's love had better last Heaven knows it's high time And I've been waiting on my own too long But when you hold me like you do It feels so right I start to forget How my heart gets torn When that hurt gets thrown Feeling like you can't go on Turning circles time again It cuts like a knife If you love me got to know for sure 'Cause it takes something more this time Than sweet sweet lies Before I open up my arms and fall Losing all control Every dream inside my soul When you kiss me On that midnight street Sweep me off my feet Singing ain't this life so sweet This year's love had better last This year's love had better last 'Cause who's to worry If our hearts get torn When that hurt gets thrown Don't you know this life goes on Won't you kiss me On that midnight street Sweep me off my feet Singing ain't this life so sweet This year's love had better last |
| Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 |
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My legs are wobbly. I'm all shaky. I can't even type straight. :) |
| Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 |
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So far, today has been glorious. Hell, life in general is just glorious. Alright, maybe not for everyone. Dad just accidently called me and told me that my cousin asked him to cosign on the apartment that he's moving into, and now he's decided not to live there. I've never heard my dad so livid. I'm glad it wasn't me who pissed him off. Looks like my brother might be moving into an apartment now. Ok, but my life is going alright. I'm going to see Coldplay and Fiona Apple on sunday. Kickass! And i'm going with a guy that i kinda have a crush on. Kick-even-more-ass! Can you tell i'm psyched? Stubbie's is working out wonderfully. I've never been so excited to work somewhere. Farah's is going ok. Looks like i'll have to take the GRE instead of the GMAT, because in order to take the latter, i'll have to offer up my ass. Spread 'em! Ugh. Moving on. The weather outside is officially fantastic. Today is officially the first day of March. I am officially done. Feels fantastic. |
| Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 |
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I found out today that i'm not dying, so that's pretty kickass. Not that i was worried. But there's always a slim chance. Probabilites are endless. Yeah, i just finished reading A Brief History of Time. Sure there's parts of it i don't come close to understanding (particles and antiparticles? quarks? neutrinos? I think someone could be making these up as some dorky inside joke). I'm more about just pondering the abstract thoughts that it presents. Ask me to mention some of these sometime. They're pretty trippy. I started studying for the GMAT today. Perhaps it's a little preemptive, but i think i did pretty well on the diagnostic test. 610 out of 800! Higher than the entering class's average! Of course, it is just the diagnostic, and it only has a third of the questions on the real test. But i'm feeling very positive about taking the real thing. I could kickass on it. I plan on taking it in a month. I think that's a reasonable goal. I made dinner for myself tonight, for the first time in I-seriously-can't-remember-how-long. Seriously. Probably not since sometime in October. And it wasn't just a hot pocket either. I made a lemon-pepper chicken boobie with black beans and rice. Of course, i made the black beans with my generations-old, super-secret, fantastic family receipe. I ate it all too! I won't be able to eat for another week. That'll save me some money. Birthdays coming up! Since when did it get popular to have your birthday at the end of february? Good news: lots of kickass parties and fun times. Bad news: buying birthday presents. Not that i don't enjoy spending money on people, i really love giving someone a gift they'll really love. I just hate the anxiety of figuring out what to get people. But alcohol always works. In fact, i don't think i currently know anyone who doesn't drink. Except for jenn. And doug. But they can be swayed. Certain songs make me stop and think. I'm tired of this. But then again, i've always been this way. Called To see If your back Was still aligned and your sheets Were growing grass all on the corners of your bed. But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves. It has too much to do with me. And secretly i want to bury in the yard The grey remains of a friendship scarred. You told us of your new life there. You've got someone comin' around Gluing tinsel to your crown. He's got you talking pretty loud. Berate, remember! Your ailing heart and your criminal eyes! You say you're still in love. If it's true what can be done? It's hard to leave all those moments behind. Called To see If your back Was still aligned and your sheets Were growing grass all on the corners of your bed. But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves. It has too much to do with me. And secretly i want to bury in the yard The grey remains of a friendship scarred. You tested Your metal Of doe's skin And petals While kissing The lipless Who bleed all The sweetness Away. |
| Monday, February 20th, 2006 |
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I heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do you? Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth The minor fall and the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah Well your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to her kitchen chair She broke your throne and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah Hallelujah Baby I've been here before I've seen this room and I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you I've seen your flag on the marble arch But love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah Hallelujah Well there was a time when you let me know What's really going on below But now you never show that to me, do you? But remember when I moved in you? And the holy dove was moving too And every breath we drew was Hallelujah Well, maybe there's a God above But all I've ever learned from love Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you It's not a cry that you hear at night It's not somebody who's seen the light It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah Hallelujah |
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Blurty for HMac.
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high.
ecstatic.
confused.