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Monday, March 15th, 2004
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2:00p - Intermission between scenes... I had to write this before it disappeared ;)
Of all the intriguing happenings in my life, it's always difficult for me to select which tale I will relate to you. Because the story doesn't stop with my entrance back into Normal Life. No; it has been continuing since my return, and I am very tempted to share with you the monumentous things that have been taking place in the sphere of the spiritual world. There has been a dark battle, and I regret to say that I was losing it... and the stakes were high. They were quite high.
But oh--the Lord my God, He is my Keeper; and He was there with me in the dark confusion of my own thoughts, refusing, on purpose, to answer my request. And it was days of this confusion and tasting the sour whispers of my Enemy until they were all I could taste. But then I began to see with my spiritual eyes again, and began to understand--He was not refusing me an answer, He was instead holding the answer behind His back. Because in my human-ness I had forgotten--He has no pleasure in giving impersonal instruction. His desire is to be intimate with the one He loves so deeply. And it worked. He made the darkness His secret place. As I stretched for the answer to my great problem, I found the warmth of His presence--so near and so rich in sweet lovingkindness and tender mercy. And it was powerful enough and personal enough to distract me from those insistent questions! How could someone so wonderful as this love me? How is it that He never gives up on me? How is it that He find me beautiful? And His Word is so rich, and His life in me is so full, and it overflows and saturates my heart until the joy is more than I can explain or contain. Thanksgiving was added to thanksgiving, and I’ve never seen the sun shine so brightly before. Of all the thousands of tongues upon the earth, what language can express the volumes of a heart in communion with its Savior? Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of Thy waterspouts: all Thy waves and Thy billows are gone over me... I find this amazing; how the depths of a human being can touch the depths of the Living God.
Not long after that, God very simply told me what to do... the answer was quiet, and simply, and carried with it great relief and greater joy. First, you see, He had to correct the way I was thinking, so that I would have a capacity to handle His answer. I love how He does everything the right way. I had already found contentment in His company, and it seems that I had to be in that place before He was free to direct my path. Relationship had to come before instruction.
I have been pouring over the pages of the Book lately, and one of my favorite passages--Psalm 139--has a verse that came alive to me.
"If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me..."
He is faithful to guide me, no matter the distance or difficulty... His hand shall lead me. That is a promise I intend to hold close to my heart through all the days of my wandering. He always has a place for me, and He will be responsible to draw me there. But oh... His right hand will hold me! That is what He calls more important. Lord, may I never lose sight of the ease and security I find only in Your company. Just to know You... may it be my only aim... and out of that relationship shall flow rivers of living water.
current mood:  thankful
current music: "Song of Freedom" by Darlene Czeck (comment on this)
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3:38p - Visual Aid number seveteen
Ok--I've finally uploaded my pictures! Come see!
Photos from our visit to Brachov, Romania
Photos from our visit to Budapest, Hungary
I hope you enjoy these! Several of them require explanations, I wish I could talk about each one as you see them! I actually left out quite a bit of the ones that might be considered embarassing. ;) Enjoy and tell me what you think! I'll try to continue my story more tomorrow so they will make more sense to you. ;)
Love in Christ,
Rita
[edit] PS--For those of you who don't know my face, I'm the dark-haired girl in the last Budapest picture.
current mood: happy
current music: "Highest" by Hillsongs Australia (comment on this)
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