| Holy crap, I'm back. |
[31 May 2007|08:42pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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music of my head |
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If anyone reads this I do not care. I just have to get this offa me.
So she did it. She has a perfect fucking little life. Well good for you, fat fucking whale cow blimp bitch. You were always gay for me anyway. You may have everything you always wanted, but you'll never be pretty. You'll always be a bloated pink pig. May you fucking choke on your *gag* boyfriend's fat.
Yeah. I did fuck up. I really am the loser. I dropped out. I don't go to college. I got my GED. I got a shitty job. I picked up dirty fucking diapers the other day. I still live with my mother. My boyfriend decided today to either run away or kick himself out, I don't know what you would call it. I have never in life had an orgasm, but have had multiple partners. Not an obscene amount, just 5. I find out next Monday whether or not I have HIV. My best friend has herpes and wants desperately to have a baby at the age of 19. We are the fucking scum and underbelly of society.
My ultimate goal is to be able to live out in the woods off the fat of the land, or at least off a meager crop of vegetables, herbs, and herb, knitting scarves, mittens, and hats to exchange for worldly goods, then returning to my log or brick shack in thick of the forest to live out my peaceful life of herbby bread and my honey, My Sugahbutt.
But right now I'm a piece of crap who points at cars and bakes in the sun all day only to smoke weed and drink 40's for pete's sake with my best friend.
I who met a fucking slimy producer who wants to turn me into a fucking sex symbol and it's my life.
That is my life.
and you.
You,
Bitch.
You have your wonderful job with your wonderful boyfriend and your wonderful apartment and your wonderful college and your life is just so wonderful because you will never see me again.
I wonder how life would've turned out if I'd stayed friends with you instead of Nicole. Would I be on the right track now?
Danny and I should just run away. That would solve everything.
We could just get jobs in another city, another state. Just fucking move.
Colorado... Nicole's supposed to be going on a trip there. We could move there, do whatever the fuck we want. Buy a plot of land and just do some shit man. Do whatever the fuck we want.
T.D. Jakes is yelling at me. Everything he's saying makes sense. Let go of your past.
Go forward.
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