|
|
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
| |
9:53 pm - Soulmate
|
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'Cause someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
current mood: empty
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
9:39 pm - Fuck...
|
I've had about enough of blueberry's girlfriend. if i see her again, i will stab her in her eye. blueberry and i are no longer friends because of her. according to her, we weren't friends. whatev. she's a bitch. and i wouldn't feel a bit sad if she died. i know that sounds mean, but i don't care. she's fucked with me for the last time. i'm not dealing with it anymore. i'm not in high school so she should just save the drama for there. start it with someone who cares. cuz i don't anymore.
as for todd, whatever with that too. i text him one day, and did i get a response? no. i don't know what i did to him but whatev.
work is pretty good. pretty much the only good thing going for me. without work, my life would be a black hole of meaningless abyss.
have i mentioned i hate blueberry's girlfriend?
okay..here's the story.
we haven't hung out for awhile. so one night he asks if i wanted to hang out. so i was like sure. we went to walmart, then to the park, then to dunkin donuts where we just talked. we talked about everything. we talked about how he wanted to break up with her because he wasn't happy anymore. so i get home around 2 am, i had to wake up at six too! so i get home around 2 am, 230 comes and i get a text saying she broke up with him, so i talked to him until 3:45, then i fell asleep. i get a text around 6 saying that she broke up with him because he was with me. how lame. anyway, that following night, he came over my house and we watched the notebook and ate ice cream and the entire time he had his head on my shoulder. so friday comes around, i just got out of work and i get a text from the bitch. she started being all rude, asking what we did, implying i slept with the kid. which i didnt. so i just shrugged her off. the next day, blueberry text me saying that they were back together, i told him that i didnt appreciate her texting me being rude and implying i'm a whore. i then signed on to facebook where i saw her status saying she wanted to kick ass. and i'm thinking that was aimed towards me. she can try if she wants. but i can guarantee she won't get far. i'm tired of all their drama. so now i'm not talking to blueberry, which might be a good thing considering i'm flippin' in love with the kid. it'll give me time to move on. it's sad too. cuz at one point he was my best friend. i told him everything and then he turned into my everything. which is probably why i feel so empty. like a piece of me is missing. it sucks.
current mood: empty
current music: Natasha Bedingfield- Soulmate
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, January 1st, 2009
| |
8:16 pm - Life And Love.
|
This woman came through my line today at work and she looked so sad. You can see in her face that she wanted to give up. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she just had a divorce and this was her second marriage and she was hoping this one would last forever. I felt so bad for her. She doesn't believe in love of any kind anymore. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking. So i told her that there's still time. Maybe she'll find "the one". She said, honey, i'm 65. There's not much more time for me. I told her that love finds you in the oddest of times and to never give up. Someone is out there for her. She smiled at me. And at that moment, there was light in her eyes. Like her hope was renewed. All because of what I said. It made me realize that i still have time to find love. I'm not 65, i haven't been through two divorces. I mean, yes, i've been through a lot of shit. But i still have a lot to live for and a lot to look forward to. But i can't help but think what if i lied to her? All that hope is gone. Her eyes will be dead again.
I didn't have anyone to cuddle with or kiss last night on new years eve. But maybe next year i will. I'll still have hope. My new years resolution is to find love. And in finding it, prove it's existance to myself. And pray to god that i don't end up as miserable as my sister and her fiance. Who are fighting as I type.
Blueberry was in the hospital because he had meningitis. He lost his phone.
There's this boy i've been talking to. But he plays hot and cold. Like one day he'll be all flirty and the next it's like nothing. So i dunno. I want something to happen. I'm not sure why. I just have a good feeling about it. He plays hockey. One day he said i was like his twin. One of my best friends kinda introduced us. He seems like a funny kid. He has this weird way of making me laugh. He finds my clumsiness cute. I just have no idea. I wish these things weren't so difficult.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: My Favorite Highway- Bigger Then Love
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
| |
11:22 am
|
So today i was supposed to hang out with kaite. But she's sick so we're not hanging out. It's been like three weeks since we last hung out. Oh well. I guess we'll hang out another day. I haven't heard from blueberry in a few weeks. Everytime we do talk, he's always talking about his girlfriend. Not in a good way. I don't see them lasting much longer.
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Anberlin- The Feel Good Drag
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
11:14 am - Hello Alone
|
Is this where the interstate ends?
In coastal towns like this
Waiting for my world to cave under
We seem to invent ourselves (we seem to invent ourselves)
In the places left unknown
If hope could only find me out
Is this the end of everything we know? (We know)
This is the end of everything I am
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Broken hearts like promises, are left for lesser knows
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive
Depression is the unholy ghost
In the coastal towns ahead
Though I know a thousand names
I seem my only friend
I've got the gun
All I need is ten cents for the bullet
I feel helpless, sleeping at best, waiting for your return
Are you ever coming home?
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Broken hearts like promises, are left for lesser knows
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive on broken homes
Broken homes
Does anybody (Does anybody)
Do they ever listen? (Do they ever listen?)
Does anybody (Does anybody)
Care at all?!
Do they care at all?
Do they care at all?
Do they care at all?
Do you care at all? Do you care at all?!
Is this the end of everything we know? (We know)
This is the end of everything I am
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Broken hearts like promises, are left for lesser knows
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive on broken homes
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
Broken hearts like promises, are left for lesser knows
Is anybody out there?
Hello! Alone!
From a lesser known.
Im here and there's hope.
There's hope.
current mood: bummed
current music: Anberlin- Hello Alone
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 15th, 2008
| |
1:18 pm - Life
|
I needed a place where i can write down my thoughts. I don't really like talking to my friends because they have enough to deal with. My best friend, her name is Kaite, recently had a baby. His name is tristin and he's adorable. She's dealing with baby daddy drama. She has this other friend named emily. She's always talking to her or talking about her or hanging out with her. She makes set days for them to hang out so they see each other once a week. We're hanging out for the first time tomorrow in three weeks. She's been my best friend since my junior year of high school. She just started hanging out with emily like six or so months ago. Emily has this super annoying voice. It's one of those high pitched squeals. I get the fact that they both have kids but still.
My next best friend is catherine. She's busy with school and her boyfriend. I feel like she doesn't have time for me anymore. She's either doing school work, which i can totally understand. But sometimes I think that she'd rather hang out with her boyfriend.
I've recently realized i'm in love with a good friend (who's code name is blueberry) of mine. He's always been there for me and i've liked him or awhile. He has a girlfriend who's a total bitch. She made her best friend get me to like him so i would leave blueberry alone. Well, me and blueberry stopped talking for a little while and we recently started talking again. And he told me that he's no longer happy in his relationship yet he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. So i don't know what's going to happen with that.
My sister has a way of making me feel guilty when good things happen to me. Which is not often. When i got my job, she was so mad whenever i talked about it. But yet, whenever something happens to her, everyone is supposed to be ecstatic. She has a finace who is so annoying. He's so negative all the time and he has no sense of humor. They fight constantly. Every night it's the same thing over and over again. She gets mad because he falls asleep. But he's here everyday, from like nine in the morning til midnight. It gets old, fast. She's a hypochondriac. She's convinced there's something wrong with her but I strongly feel it's in her head. She only gets "sick" when the attention is on someone else. Now apparently she needs a shrink for her problems. I wanna know what kind of problems she has. She has no job, so there's no stress from work. If her and her fiance spent a little time apart every now and then, maybe they wouldn't fight so much. I dunno.
But on a brighter note, i've been promoted at work. So i get a raise and all that good stuff. It's pretty exciting.
current mood: crushed
current music: Taylor Swift- Forever & Always
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|