| Well, boring routines came haunting again... |
[15 Jun 2004|02:54pm] |
Yep, college life has resumed. Still quite relaxing, coz so far teachers are only giving back our results and discussing our test papers.
I have been thinking, humans really need a break, a holiday, to set their priorities right again. Everybody in my condo, Phillip, Yong Hsin and Daryl...*even me* are determined to study harder and smarter, and will try to complete all our homeworks. Breaks and vacation, even the time of doing nothing is essential to human life. We need to kick back, relax, and refresh the mind. I love such breaks. We are not robots, we can't work and even play 24/7. We need breaks. We need to be out of our routine once in a while. Now I just hope that our timetable will change as soon as possible. I am sick of this routine.
Now, about my results. One thing that spur us to work harder, is our results. It was bad. So far, my chemistry got a D (51) and a B (73) for physics. About maths, I dun dare to talk about it. So far my paper 1 got a 24/50. On the other hand, Daryl did quite well, despite of his really last minute efforts. Good for him. He got a shocking 47/50 for his paper 1 maths. And he got the 3rd highest for chemistry, and an A for physics. He whooped my ass in every subject. In times like this, I feel very 'ordinary' and under-performing. Deep down in my heart, I know I can do better, but I just dunno how. It is because of my laziness, or my study method. But most probably I think its my former which lead my to my 'downfall'. I mean, all my lifetime, I am only an average scorer, although major exams results are good, but I seem to loose my confidence this time around. Things aren't working that well for me, esp. my maths. If there is one thing I am weak at, its definitely my maths. Why? I wonder, normal homework and I can do, but I under-perform during exams. I still yet to find out why this is happening. After missing the JPA scholarship, I seemed to lost the goal of life. What do I want to do in the future? What course am I interested in? What am I capable of? For my lifetime, I tot engineering is my only hope, *as in the only course I think I can do well in*...but now, that hope seemed to blurred and getting dim. Why, you ask? Well, I didn't do well in Maths and Physics, the 2 most important subjects for engineering, that's why.
What is life for anyway? If life is to seek God in His kingdom and to make disciples of all nations, why am I here? Am I here so that I can gain my power and influence in the future? Am I here so that I can earn big bucks and live a luxurious life? I just suddenly lost the aim of life. For the past 1 year, I was quite sure I am gonna pursue Aerospace Engineering. But now, that hope seems to be gaining a lot more weight, thus making it a 'fat hope'. *sigh*
Besides that, my chemistry teacher is going to transfer to UTAR. Congrats to her, heard she gonna be an Assistant Prof there. But why, in times when we need her the most? And I heard we are going to be under another teacher, which I heard is fierce, strict. Well, I dun mind that, but it seems she is also very discouraging. Already my results are bad, and if somebody add more fuel to the fire, I might have a breakdown. *sigh* Humans, mighty in achieving feats, but weak in worrisome thoughts. According to a sermon by a Singaporean pastor, the feeling of worriness can cause stress to a human being. Stress is the source of all physical problems, and stress can lead to a bad health. But with more and more obstacles in our life, how can one avoid stress? Yes, we need to avoid stress, but it is always easier said than done.
This weekend, I am coming back. Make sure you guys held a 'Yum Cha' session, I really need you guys to cheer me up. And this Sunday is Father's Day. Make sure to prepare something cool for ur dad.
Another thing, Harry Potter is very disappointing. *shakes head* I am rather sadden by the poor storyline. And at least I get to see Emma! I am in the mood again. But I dun show it that much. Although in the show she was a bit snobbish, but I still love her! Haha!
Okla, I gtg do my homework. After that, probably will watch some animes or play some games. If anyone read till this part, I thank you.
Ciao,
Love,
Zhou.
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Damn cute leh??? Reminds u of anybody? hahahahaha....