| Saturday, March 5th, 2005 |
| 6:55 am |
its important to remember...
its not the man whose become redundant, its the post thats become redundant.
well folks, my post has become redundant. the old man sold the company for a cool $1.4 billion and as of june ill be working elsewhere. i think some of these people will get to keep their jobs but mine is a 'luxury' post that wont be needed when the new owners take over. im guessing its a lot easier (cheaper) to get new people than keep the old ones.
three years goes by fast when youre not paying attention. how do you measure three years anyway? income? social status? material goods? quality of ass? i hope its none of those or the past three years have been a waste. |
| Friday, February 11th, 2005 |
| 6:26 am |
i was recently told i have a 'superiority complex'. it seems i think im better than everyone else but i am in fact, not. it may be true that i think im smarter than most other people but 'better'? i dont think so. i should add that im bigger than the person who said this so next time i see them - its on!
Current Music: minor threat |
| Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005 |
| 5:59 am |
its my 'white whale'
ive had the last four days off from work due to illness. theres something about sitting around in underwear playing nintendo for four days straight. can it be so wrong when it feels so right? the only thing i missed was reading the newspaper.
it wasnt all fun & games. i dont want to give that impression. there was sleeping, coughing, mucus, and even a little blood. plus i did work on moving shit from the master bedroom into the second bedroom. my plan is to move everything from one room to the other a little every day. hopefully then ill be able to locate the source of the odor. i have a mystery smell in my bedroom. i cant be sure what it is or where its from yet but i WILL find it. one of us has to go and im not ready to leave just yet.
all this moving shit around made me realize how much crap ive surrounded myself with over the years. isnt that a mental illness? i remember seeing a TV show about people who keep all sorts if shit forever and just live in filth. the 'reporter' asked this one woman why she kept all that shit and she said 'i may need it one day'. there is some rationale to that if you disregard the fact that it was candy wrappers and empty boxes. she was hoarding trash. ive been toying with the idea of selling all (most) of shit to try to achieve a more minimalistic existence. ill probably just throw most of it out cos who would buy my junk? if i keep it ill have to live in that stank apartment forever because theres no way i can move it all. congrats if youve read this far. you must be totally bored. i almost fell asleep while i was typing it. ill try to include some celebrity sex-gossip in my next entry. |
| Thursday, January 27th, 2005 |
| 6:52 am |
im sick. AND im an asshole. but not for the reasons youre thinking. last monday there was an 'event' here at work. 15 kids aged 1 - 14 hangin around, bein loud, etc. a few these kids came into the office portion of the clubhouse and decided to use the phone/compter while coughing/sneezing up their fluids/diseases. now i was very busy at the time so i rudely asked the whore* hosting the event to keep the kids out of my office to which she gave some equally rude reply. now i have a sore throat and a fever.
* shes a whore for leaving her boyfriend of 6 years to bone a married man twice her age. |
| Monday, January 17th, 2005 |
| 7:38 pm |
happiness is knowing theres nowhere else youd rather be and no one else youd rather be with.
are you happy? |
| Thursday, December 23rd, 2004 |
| 6:56 am |
current events
margaret,
youre the only person who reads this!!! plus ive nothing interesting to say!!! i go to work everyday. whoopee.
have you seen the new Time magazine? ite the 'person of the year' issue with GW on the cover and the caption 'american revolutionary'. disgusting! there are a few good pics on the inside. my favorites are the ones that show GW at the bedside of some seriously fucked up soldiers. theres at least one guy whose missing a substantial part of his skull. i cant imagine coming home from iraq missing bodyparts/faculties and having to shmooze with the man responsible.
on the cover of todays post; "new rules issued for national forests". specifically; "the new rules give economic activity equal priority with preserving the ecologoical health of the forests in making management decisions and in potentially liberalizing caps on how much timber can be taken from a forest.
just another whack from the bush axe as he continues to rape the environment. |
| Thursday, August 5th, 2004 |
| 7:48 pm |
every day is a struggle
to stay sane? no. to pay bills? no. to stay awake? no. every day is a struggle to keep residents from parking in the fire lane. its a rough life. especially now that im old. yes, i had a wonderful birthday, thank you for all the gifts and cards and shit. yes, im talking to you marge because my other internet friends (pru, frances, wanda shame on you!) dont come here anymore.
this morning i had to drop a kitten off at the animal shelter. she was all white, with 6 toes on each foot. richard kept calling her 'mittens' because hes a big homo. i called her 'johnny deformed' because i think having extra toes is nasty. she was very very very sweet and playful and just about everything you could want in a cat (except for the extra toes). theyve got these crates just inside the door where you can put animals after hours. they looked kinda dirty but i figured she wouldnt be in there long. i left a note stating where she was found and blah blah blah to call me BEFORE she is 'humanely euthanized'. some english dude called me just a few minutes ago and asked if i found the cat with the collar or i had put it on her. i told him she had it on. then he asked if they should call me when shed be available for adoption. i told him to call me if she hasnt been adopted and will be executed. then he said "so you want to save her life?" which i thought was a strange question. anyway, the point of the story is you need a cat. in fact, you need this cat. shed be perfect for you- shes white and small- just like you!! wow see how much you have in common? i have 3 cats already or id take her. what a great birthday gift it would be.
Current Mood: must pee now
Current Music: the killers: hot fuss |
| Thursday, July 15th, 2004 |
| 6:41 pm |
before the weight of the world crushed my spirit
i was calling to ask you what the name of the shisha bar you always go to is. but i did some research and voila! the lemur lounge! have you been to casablanca? i met a girl that belly dances there. |
| Monday, May 31st, 2004 |
| 10:50 pm |
yay
i really really really should know better by now. dont trust bitches. ever. and dont underestimate them either. they will sneak around and go through your shit. always. it happened before and happened todday. today [tonight] was the phone call 'can you come home and talk to me' uh, why? 'we need to talk right now' about what? 'can you just come home so we can talk' well, no im working 'ha, yeah right' what is going on? 'i found something. on the video camera'
you can probably tell where it goes from there. ok i left something on there. and it was 'found'. my bad. sorry? yeah, im sorry. im sorry you were fucking with my fucking camera and saw some shit that you shouldnt have. what is there to talk about? huh? you wanna bust my chops?
no, i dont think so. im done with that. if you wanna have a thrombo, have it somewhere else. see, that shit doesnt work on me because i can live on my own just fine.
Current Mood: pissed off |
| Thursday, April 29th, 2004 |
| 4:20 am |
a stranger tried to kill me tonight. |
| Friday, April 9th, 2004 |
| 3:41 am |
isolation - JD
In fear every day, every evening
He calls her aloud from above
Carefully watched for a reason
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else
Isolation, isolation, isolation
Mother I tried please believe me
I'm doing the best that I can
I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through
I'm ashamed of the person I am
Isolation, isolation, isolation
But if you could just see the beauty
These things I could never describe
These pleasures a wayward distraction
This is my one lucky prize
Isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation. |
| Monday, March 22nd, 2004 |
| 12:07 am |
do you ever get a feeling of complete alienation like no one can relate to you and youll be alone with your thoughts forever and ever?i really really really wanted to throttle the cashier at tower records today. i almost never go there because they charge like fuckin $18 for a cd. outrageous. but best buy can only seem to carry new shit so i found myself at tower, wading through a sea of disks, listening to fucking rod stewart. when i finally brought my $18 cd to the regisetr i asked the dude who picks the music.
"we do, whoevers working"
"so did you pick this"
"uh... um... someone did"
but it had to have been him because i dont think the tattooed pierced up played out punk rock freaks would pick fucking rod stewart. THIS guy was some overweight effeminate sweater wearer who did not belong at tower records. since when do they hire non-tattooed people? do they have a gay quota to meet?
"so it wasnt you then?"
"why? are you not feeling the rod stewart?"
"no, in fact its making have to take a huge shit"
"im sorry"
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: the jam |
| Thursday, February 12th, 2004 |
| 8:20 am |
every day is the same
every place is the same
violence
i think i lost my tax documents. ivebeen looking forward to a big check from uncle sam and now... i dont know. maybe theres a phone number i can call, or something. fuck its hot in here. im so sick of this damn winter! its too cold outside and too hot inside. and what the hell am i supposed to do for valentines day? |
| Thursday, February 5th, 2004 |
| 5:50 am |
RE: Hunting Endangered Species
my head is pounding. my ear was ringing a few minutes ago but now its done.
it seems im out of money. according to my bank ive spent $800+ in less than 2 weeks. now this really amazes me because i cant really recall spending half that. ive bought iced tea, coffee, cigarettes... but not $800 worth. VERY strange. im tempted to "get to the bottom of this" but i fear i may have spent it all on porno and forgot. is that possible? no, i dont think so. somethings going on. that was my fuckin vacation money!! i was going to use that to go whaling this summer. im never going out with a clever girl again.
Current Mood: restless
Current Music: TMV |
| Thursday, January 8th, 2004 |
| 6:26 am |
ahem
why am i here? none of you ever update... so i come here.. and i browse through all these strangers entries. and wow am i out of place. i havent been an angsty teen in a long time. all my bitches and moans are about real problems not "oh tiffany told jose that dave felt her up blah blah" actually thats one of the better ones... my mouth is burning.
Current Mood: congested
Current Music: interpol |
| Friday, December 19th, 2003 |
| 6:47 am |
everyday is a struggle to stay awake, alert, etc etc. id like to crawl into a saddam hole and live there for awhile. everything is defined for you in a hole. you can inventory your entire life in the hole, and still have the afternoon to daydream, play with worms, whatever. did saddams hole have some sort of toilet? mine would. cant live smelling of feces. shit all up in your beard. not cool.
on my way home from work at 0300 tuesday morning i slid on a patch of ice into a parked pickup. it crushed my front end and now one headlight shines up into the sky. i left my phone number under the windshield wiper and duder called me later that day. well, his brother-in-law called me because he doesnt speak english. they came here so i could have a look at the damage to his truck. dent in bumper, chipped paint UNDER the bumper (where no one would ever see unless they were looking) and thats it. so, B.I.L. tells me i can give them $500 to save my insurance premiums or whatnot. i dont know anything about how insurance works - only that if you get lotsa tickets and are prone to smashing into shit, they raise your rates, or drop you all together. i just got this insurance 2 weeks ago. i havent even been billed yet. im tempted to tell those dudes to fuck off and go ahead with the insurance thing cos i dont have $500 to give them for a fuckin bumper. especially now that ive got to repair my own car which WAY more fucked than just a bumper dent. ill see how it works out tonight. the moral of the story is, unless your rich, dont leave your info on a vehicle youve just hit if no ones around. get away! also: dont love a car. i loved my car (im ill) and now look whats happened! its all smashed up and im inconsolable.
if i know you and youre nice ill send you a pic of me weeping over my once beautiful car.
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: the faint - blank wave arcade |
| Monday, December 1st, 2003 |
| 11:27 pm |
hello
ive been neglecting this place. because im lazy and i dont care about anything. but ive experienced a few things id like to put down, for entertainment purposes only. NOT to be taken orally or rectally.
ok so we all know the site where we met right? well, as one of you know, from time to time i get the urge to break the chat barrier and speak with people on the phone (yes i am a big loser) so this chatter in inter dials me and starts chatting me up. "she" says she 31/f/texas. we talk for awhile and shes giving me this weird vibe. i cant explain it. well, she said she had a pic so i asked for it. and... it was... well, it looked like a 5 generation scan done on the first scanner ever made. very pixelated. then there was another pic (a scanned polaroid) the quality was better but it was... a nude. now, i just met this person so receiving a nude pic sorta gave me a red flag feeling. i figured it was some guy messing with me so i asked if i could call "her". now, i expected to be rejected but she gave me her phone number and i called. she sounded like she was maybe 55 years old. and smoked for 45 of those years. she sounded like the corpse of lucille ball. im no doctor by any means but i would bet ALL my stars wars action figures that she was mentally ill. she kept saying shed been watching me in the chat and she thought i was funny. i got off the phone with her as fast as i could without being rude. VERY traumatizing. if any of you are interested in her pics i still have them and ill sendem to you. theyre amusing and they look like they were taken around 1975. |
| Thursday, November 13th, 2003 |
| 6:14 am |
i like to pretend im someone else
cant sleep. very tired, but cant sleep. i know i know, if you cant sleep youre not tired enough. i doubled the dosage on my sleeping pills and STILL couldnt sleep. rashaads in new york until friday. im tempted to toss all his shit out and change the locks. ive got enough headaches of my own making without him trying to get us evicted. see, i remember when i was his age i lost my job and my girlfriend and i drank a bottle of rum every night for two months. it was a phase, part of the healing process. i believe hes trying to make a career out of it. which i guess would be ok for someone with unlimited income. rashaad on the otherhand is living off of his moms gas card. i went in is room yesterday to look for a dvd. i found porn. oh, and dirty dishes. which is.. always fun. because when you really think about it, isnt that what life is all about? |
| Friday, October 24th, 2003 |
| 2:37 am |
i turn my brain off when i get stuck in those conversations with him. he goes on and on and the topic evolves from so and so giving him CDs to pawn and the pawnshop wouldnt take them because they said they dont take CDs even though theyve got racks of them and they wouldnt take his DVD player because he left the remote at home (its a POS anyway). hes at his parents house looking online trying to get a loan and hes applied for 3 jobs but been turned down because no one seems to want to hire and uneducated black dude with long dreadlocks. imagine that. mind numbing dreariness. then he asked if i could get a or r to pay his rent. yeah dude i dont think thats going to happen. wake up! life sucks. do you think i like to work every fucking day doing the same thing over and over again until i die? no, but i do because between shifts id like a warm bed to sleep in and maybe a meal or two. its called growing up and accepting responsibility. christ i sound like my mother. all im sayin is youre 25 years old, get your shit together. its one thing to ruin your own shit but dont drag me down with you. im barely surviving as it is.
Current Mood: cold |
| Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003 |
| 11:54 pm |
nap time right. i need a proper haircut. im as good a barber as i am a mechanic and it shows. on my head and my cars, one of which doesnt even run. the cars not the head. the head runs great. so do you ever push the "random" button and just read strangers entries? i do. granted most of them suck and quite a few are even worse than mine (of course theyre probably written by kids 15 years younger than me) but if you keep pressin that button, a good ones bound to come up. like this one i found where this girl was going on and on about -wait, thats not such a good example... ehm ill get back to you on this... heres a good one http://www.blurty.com/users/xtinamarie/ Current Mood: apatheticCurrent Music: cpu hum |