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| Hey bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!! most o' dis shyt is friends fucking only. go find my lj or something if you're that bored. :) whateva. pic to come soon. | ||||||||||
4 beers brought
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drunk.: .
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i'm sitting here crying when i should be getting dressed. "you raise me up" ... .the first 2 notes i was crying. new song by josh groban. he is my personal heaven. go find it. it's how i feel about a lot of people and what they have done for me. It's you steve, you erick, my uncle, tony, kati, just .. everyone at lab. i want to sing this at lab next year. people need to hear this. I need to tell people they love me. I'm going to go get ready to freeze and get rained on at work. I'll babble later. :*) I love you all. *kisses* |
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1 beer brought
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indescribable.: .
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Blame it all on my roots I showed up in boots And ruined your black tie affair The last one to know The last one to show I was the last one You thought you'd see there And I saw the surprise And the fear in his eyes When I took his glass of champagne And I toasted you Said, honey, we may be through But you'll never hear me complain 'Cause I've got friends in low places Where the whiskey drowns And the beer chases my blues away And I'll be okay I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis Oh, I've got friends in low places Well, I guess I was wrong I just don't belong But then, I've been there before Everything's all right I'll just say goodnight And I'll show myself to the door Hey, I didn't mean To cause a big scene Just give me an hour and then Well, I'll be as high As that ivory tower That you're livin' in 'Cause I've got friends in low places Where the whiskey drowns And the beer chases my blues away And I'll be okay I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis Oh, I've got friends in low places 3rd Verse: I guess I was wrong I just don't belong But then, I've been there before And everything is alright I'll just say goodnight And I'll show myself to the door I didn't mean to cause a big scene Just wait 'til I finish this glass Then sweet little lady I'll head back to the bar And you can kiss my ass |
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exanimate.: .
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *runs around my room screaming for my lost shorts and mind* YOU WILL NEVER RUN SO FAR I CAN'T FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Finds them on a hanger in my closet* .... wow. what were they doing some place they should be?! *sigh* .... merflehazlen. ......................... m e w . that is all once again. i am off to work. pray ... first i'm going to the hand doctor... oh shit. i need to leave in 15 minutes.. ugh....... laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaters :) maybe whilst i'm standing up at sears tower in the massive heat, i'll think of all the stuff i did so i can properly update :) ... maybe not :) |
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groggy.: .
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. Air/Water show is this weekend.. *dies* .... *sigh* *toddles off to bed* mew...........? SaVe mEeEeE!!! |
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blah.: .
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mmmmmmmmmmmmm.. blah. i feel like updating. so i shall update :) won't be much. can't even begin to recap my weekend. highlight: it ended. :) idk. i've been so crabby and not wanting to be around ppl.. mmm.. PMS? :) :: shrug :: i could care less what it is.. i just want to say "fuck it" to a lot of things. ah well. nap time on the grass in the park thingie across from sears tower? ;) *sigh* so now i sit here eating New York Cherry ice cream for breakfast listening to Evanescence waiting for the show tonight. I don't wish to work today, but that's life. shit. printer failed to print out something. meh. *kicks it* bleh. ah well. i wonder who i get to bug today at 200 S. This should be interesting. I hope it's Pat.. he's so much fun. Watch, it'll be Paul or something. hehe. oi. annnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyywaaaaaaaaaaay i should go. i must shower and things. don't want to be all stinky and such. hmmmmmm.. i wonder if i could get away w/ a camera.... i shouldn't try it. we already have pics i guess. meeerrrr.. ah well. *sigh* sorry this isn't really an update :) must :: run run run run :: Evanescence - Understanding You hold the answers deep within your own mind. Consciously, you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us to entertain, we reject it. We erase it from our memories. But the answer is always there. (Can't wash it all away) (Can't Wish it all away) (Can't hope it all away) (Can't cry it all away) The pain that grips you The fear that binds you Releases life in me In our mutual Shame we idolize To blind them from the truth That finds a way from who we are Please don't be afraid When the darkness fades away The dawn will break the silence Screaming in our hearts My love for you still grows This I do for you Before I try to fight the truth my final time We're supposed to try and be real. And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real. Can't wash it all away Can't wish it all away Can't cry it all away Can't scratch it all away Lying beside you Listening to you breathe The life that flows inside of you Burns inside of me Hold and speak to me Of love without a sound Tell me you will live through this And I will die for you Cast me not away Say you'll be with me For I know I cannot Bear it all alone You're not alone, are you? Never... Never. Can't fight it all away Can't hope it all away Can't scream it all away It just won't fade away, No Can't wash it all away Can't wish it all away Can't cry it all away Can't scratch it all away (Can't fight it all away) (Can't hope it all away) Can't scream it all away Ooh, it all away Ooh, it all away But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten. Because I'm tired of it too. Because I'm tired of it too. Because I'm tired of it too. Because I'm tired of it too. Because I'm tired of it too. |
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indifferent.: .
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THE TALL SHIPS ARE LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by the time i get there at 11am, they should be fuckin' gone !!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, i'm sorry, those things are kinda cool lookin', n i'm glad we're makin shitloads of money, but I HATE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! not to mention i havent been getting that much sleep ... (my own fault) ... well, till last night at least. I *NEEDED* it. oi. *sigh* ... *mutter* .,... 200 + some people at a small dock bitching at *me* who is acting as dockmaster for the day coz we can only fit 49 ppl on a taxi boat..... oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii n i don't like spazzing over getting a 49 ppl off a little taxi quickly and getting the taxi away from the dock so that the bright star (big fuckin architecture tour boat) can dock at our small lil dock so they can act as "taxi" .. in the middle of their tour n take 100 people off our hands n take em to ogden slip/navy pier. i'm glad they were doing it, but the fuckin captain wasnt answering his radio early enough to tell him that the bright star was going to do that. *sigh* ... *kick* ... plus, that's the one that lost $600 in the river. that fucker. the ticket guys do drops, and send a certain amt of $$ to our main booth, but give it to the captains /deckhands to do so. well, he put it on the console ..where the steering wheel n stuff is for the boat.. right on top.. so .... wind came along.. it went right in the river. i heard the deckhand was going to go in the river n get it. i would have. my finger would have gotten *VERY* infected, but i dont care. oi. anyway. they're going away, so that's all that matters. i gotta go shower n get outta here :) *sigh* *mutter* .... oi. anyway, thanks steve soo much for texting me then calling me to check in ... it meant a lot. *sigh* i'm ok, but still kinda just as shitty.. glad i've been outta the house working all weekend. i just work, then come home and crash. no fights really. so that's good. but yeah. i'll try n be online more tonight, if not def, tomorrow.. coz i might just crash tonight :) ... oi. I LOVE YOU :) hehe. you're an awesome friend !! |
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1 beer brought
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drained.: .
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| ( WARNING!!!: Mostly for Steve coz he likes this gross stuff .... pics of my gross bloodied finger.. look at your own risk :) ) | ||||||||||
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2 beers brought
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geeky.: .
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long fuckin story short. i just typed this to kati. i'm goin to bed. in pain n cant typ 4 long w/ one hand typing w/ one hand. small thing at work. ended up tying up at the museum dock, tying it up tight n all, then huddled on the blue dog. went to go bk to Navy Pier w/ our passengers, got the long line off, he pulled out or whatever, but there was still one line on the dock holding the boat on. it was tangled in the small line, i yelled to carlos that it was still on, knew better than to have my fingers on it, so i didnt, but when i trned to yell, my fingers slipped c\oz of the trn and it was wet and the line twisted n caught my middle finger (hehe) between the line n the cleat. i'm home and ok now. quite gross.. completely tore the bottom tip of my finger off... :-( from right below my nail to almost where it bends. they put itback on n whatnot. lorianne was awesome n drove me n got me scrubs to put on n candy. then carlos came n stayed w/ me. which is good coz i woulda killed her, heh. neway, i guess they (stace or chip or someone) said something boiut me on tickets which is cool. nehow.. love u n wanted to tell u about it .. love u n stuff.. mew! :-) |
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numb.: .
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well.. i sit here in front of this magical box with simple plan on and my mom reading Machevelli's "the prince" to me. She randomly came in here and said "so where's the book i'm supposed to read to you before sleep?" .... so i gave her the prince. yay for meeee. intelligence. "is this a good book?" "yeah.. if you know what you're reading" "this introduction sucks. let's get to chapters." .... wow. ooh. nick carter on the radio now. yay for AOL radio. one of the few small pleasures i take from AOL. "I read this book" .. suuuuuuuure mom. coz amundsen was great for that. mmhmm. when you weren't hanging w/ Three Dog Night or out skipping class at that cafe across from your school. meh.. i don't want to go to work tomorrow. really don't. biked from my house to lea's today. twas interesting. humiliation and embarassement ensued. when the pics get uploaded, you'll see. i had to ride a bubblegum pink bike from my childhood to her house. big garage sales going on in her neighboorhood, and i've been meaning to sell the damned thing for sooo long. never really rode it after i started getting called "hip rider" by andy phalen. go him. *mental kick* .. so yeah. was supposed to get her old one, but it's still up in the loft, as there was too much stuff in there and it's all messed up. so probably next week. idk. i might not ride my bike all the way to Navy Pier .. esp. when it starts to get really hot.. coz that'll just make me all sweaty n gross before i even start working. unless i get those travel thingies. well, they're mostly for washing one's face, but ah well. idk. maybe. the bathroom is empty when i get there in teh morning anyway. just put some water on the thingy, make it all soapy, and just .. well, wash myself n reapply deoderant. meh. i'll see. coz it's like 9.3 miles. idk. i'll try it when i get the bike. gotta leave extra early, coz i dont know how long it'll take. figure once i get to foster beach, it won't take long since i won't be dealing w/ traffic, coz i can just bike on the lakefront path all the way down. so that would be nice to do maybe 2 days out of the week. then the other days i could just bike to either the red line's berwyn stop (broadway n foster) or the brown line's western stop (a block down from lincoln, lawrence n western). just coz on the weekends the foster bus stops at like 8-9 pm. which sucks major. so if i have a bike, i will be happy. don't have to worry about that. plus i just get so kind of creeped out to stand waiting for the 92 over by the berwyn stop neway... it's lessened if i transfer to the brown line and stand at the western stop, but then there's the western n foster stop.. kind of just .. well, seedy at night.. not that bad, but idk. i guess my mom constantly reading me the "bad shit that happens' out of the newspaper weekly really has done what she wanted. it's made me sort of paranoid. *sigh* .. so if I'm able to just get on a bike n zoom home, i'll be ok. I just have to get a new lock. maybe 2 :) a hard kryptonite lock and then one of those bendable ones. why? because yes... i am paranoid :) esp. if i have to get a new bike if i dont like lea's.. I really hope my old one sells for a decent price if i don't. i told my mom and she's like "that bike was 300 .. you'd better get at least 200 for it" .. dude. it's not going to sell at a garage sale for that much. whatever. :D ooh. good. mom just left. hmm. according to her, i was supposed to enjoy that. she does this every now and then when we get into fights. i've ended up screaming at her for the past week. yeah. it's been a whole lotta joy n fun around here. mostly just b/c of stupid shit. yanno.. like her being stupid. it's getting to the point where my nerves just crack and i end up just .. well, screaming. but never saying what i want to say, because i want to make this place still somewhat livable. And if i say what i really mean and what i really feel, then all hell breaks loose. she's already on edge and nutty between uncle jim dying, spazzing over aunt diane, my dad whom i swear is losing his mind (later in this entry).. and wanting her lost love Douglas to call. so yeah. there's that. i don't know. *waves* hey Erick. We never get to talk anymore. *sigh* idk. hope your day off was good... glad work is going good. mew? idk. *sigh* things have been bothering me all around lately. i just get so frustrated n annoyed with things. things that shouldnt bother me as much, but they do. idk. *mutter* Glad lab is early this year. a full 7 days away from home. Daddi (Ken) and i are leaving Saturday the 21st, driving across the border to iowa to stay in a hotel that night (with pool..mwahaha. hence why we're going to iowa. the other one which was in IL didnt have such).. then sleeping in, toddling over to Augustana for registration.. we get our stuff settled in our rooms, then lab starts for us :) then the labbers arrive on Monday, and we leave on Saturday. I get back around 6-7pm, sleep and work my ass off Sunday and the week after :) I need lab right now though. Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeve. i wish you were going you bum :) *sigh* idk. should be an interesting year. I wonder if Danielle is still going. meeh. a lot of ppl are not going to be there. it's also going to be very different than we're all used to. i hope it goes ok. I hope i'm lab staff material. I gave it a lot of thought and prayed about it, and i really really want to do it. i just have to put all of myself into it and all shall be ok. well kids, i'm done rambling for right now. I'm going to go read a little then get some sleep.. yay for work *sigh* mew... shall update/babble more tomorrow mebbe. *hugs* |
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exhausted.: .
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( New Found Glory - *Sonny* ) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ( *Gone Away* by Cold ) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ( Rescue Me - Unwritten Law ) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ( Prays Twice *that's when i'll know i'm home* ) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ well my freinds, all i can say is ... pray. at 6:30 this morning i was presented with the news that my uncle Jim wasn't getting any fluids at all. This comes after the fact that they already brought in hospice care to look after him this week. I haven't been around much, truthfully b/c there has been many issues here at home. Things w/ my grandpa and with my uncle. Things have been failing with him left and right and i just haven't had strength to update or do much, coz it'd be whiny/sad things and well, i just have no energy to write such things. plus it's kind of like sealing the death papers, to actually see on a screen that we're waiting for him to die and it should be soon and whatnot. *sigh* so just giving you all a heads up/reason why i haven't been around and why i might not be around for a little bit longer. I may not talk about this too much, or journal it too much Or I may. I don't know. At this point, I'm fine. He's not gone yet. I'm just going today to the house to say my goodbye's and see how my aunt and cousins are doing, since I'm going to be busy tomorrow night, working Saturday and church on Sunday morning. Anything could happen during that time. So just letting people know what's going on... family member is dying. One that when he is gone, will devistate the entire family.. ok, so i'm not fine, but talking to people already this morning (namely Steven and Erick and getting to yell at Tom senselessly) .. (I love you all in your individual ways for all you 3 have done this morning) (oh, and tom, i know Wotsits are the better brand, and it's football. not soccer... hehe... and .. if we're both around, and Sean if you are too, i say a little "yo yo" chat is in order for my mood... hehe) Anyway. So yeah. I'm not entirely fine, but have been stemming off my fun attacks and most crying. Listening to Prays Twice and putting myself mentally at lab has helped too. Moral of today: I will be fine. God and thoughts of you all and just talking to some of you will carry me through this. Don't feel like you have to leave me a comment if you don't feel like it.. I know i've been a bad journal freind lately... and all will be ok. I'm going to go shower and go get some breakfast somewhere (coz there's NOTHING here..). Then going to go and spend some more family time while we all can. just .... pray ... to whomever, wherever ... thanks *Me* |
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2 beers brought
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complacent.: .
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amused.: .
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| ( The saddest day of my life .. when a boy looks better in my skirt than i do ;) GO BOBBY!!! YOU ROCK!!! ) | ||||||||
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I'VE GOT A BIG FAT FUCKING BONE TO PICK .. WITH YOU MY DARLING!!!!!!!!! *sigh* memories. life's a bitch and i'm losing my mind. that is all ... *runs off* |
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aggravated.: .
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 Teal!Flamboyant, energetic, you are an absolute terror when you're hungry, happy, or full of pixie styx. And woe betide anyone who gets on your bad side . . . you're fuller of malicious pranks than the Tallest combined (not like that's hard). Having conquered the planet you were sent out to a while back, you've now got an easier life ahead of you . . at least until you're tossed out in the fray again. Which Irken Muse Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2 beers brought
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cold.: .
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well, i'm making an entry tonight... trying to get this in before midnight, so i dont know how much is going to be in here. *sigh* it's been insane in my mind. The lint ball flew away, or rolled, not sure, and we're not quite sure if Sigmund is alive, but if he is, he no longer has a pillow. I have to grow an entirely new lint ball. This should be fun. Not really too much has been going on I guess. just too much insanity in my head. I realized I'm over what "was" .... meaning him ... I doubt that he reads this.. but ah well. I just want my ring. I know it's at his house. It has to be. I've looked everywhere and asked everyone. I don't take my rings off at school just for that matter of i might lose them if i do. so it's not there. only place left was his house last effin week when i took it off coz i was punching his arm and didn't it to break. *sigh* ... so yeah. I'm done. I give up caring. at this point I dont even care about the ring. Granted it was cute, but it didn't have too much meaning. Twas just something Kati and I found at the mall one day. *sigh sigh sigh*. It's just rather annoying to leave messages and not get responses. If I call you and leave a voice mail saying "call me back" .. it'd be nice to .. *gasp* actually call me back. but that's just me i guess. I'm tired of trying to be friends, i'm just .. tired. So .. *throws in the towel* ... I give in. Ry, you win. I surrender. I'm done. You want a friendship, call me or text message me with something else other than "the crow flies at midnight" ... I can't wait for summer. Everyone's going insane. People who want to throw themselves off bridges, get shot in the ass, run their hands over with semi trucks so they can't type/write anything for another professor, hide in trash cans filled with cement :) college is insanity i tell you.. insanity!!! hehe. ah well. plus i get to see Erick, whom I love dearly :) so yay!! heeh. And for people that are taking summer classes .... well, sucks to be you :) hehe. *mwa* anyway. it's almost midnight. Going to be silent. *Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights. People who are silent today believe that laws and attitudes should be inclusive of people of all sexual orientations. The Day of Silence is to draw attention to those who have been silenced by hatred, oppression, and prejudice. Think about the voices you are not hearing. What can you do to end the silence?* www.dayofsilence.org Hello Evanescence Playground schoolbell rings, again Rainclouds come to play, again Has no one told you she's not breathing ? Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to...Hello... If I smile and don't believe Soon I know I'll wake from this dream Don't try to fix me I'm not broken Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide... *Don't cry...* Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping Hello, I'm still here, all that's left Of yesterday... *Sticks and stones may scar my skin, but words slice through my soul within* |
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hey. just saying hi in my first entry!! i'm at ISU !! ok... off to have more fun. Steve, you know you love me, and I'll come visit you when you get here!!!!! hehe..... Later Daze and better Knights *ME* |
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bouncy.: .
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